March 15, 2012 - Dexter Filkins

  • Episode: 08073
  • (0)

Stephen is suspicious of geriatric jihadists, Rick Santorum speaks from his heart, and Dexter Filkins tells Stephen why we need other countries.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO

MUCH, EVERYBODY.

( CHEERING )

THANK YOU.

FOLKS, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, IT

WAS-- WITH AN OPENING LIKE THAT,

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE IT'S MY

FIRST NIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )

NATION, I HAVE ALWAYS SAID

PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS AN AL QAEDA

CODDLER.

AND NOW HIS ADMINISTRATION IS

PROVING IT AGAIN.

>> ELDERLY TRAVELERS COULD SOON

GET A BREAK AT AIRPORT SECURITY.

STARTING MONDAY, THE T.S.A. WILL

TEST NEW PROCEDURES FOR

PASSENGERS 75 AND OLDER.

THEY CAN LEAVE THEIR SHOES ON

FOR ONE THING, SAME WITH THEIR

LIGHT OUTERWEAR.

>> Stephen: WHAT!

ARE THEY CRAZY!

HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR SHOES?

( LAUGHTER )

THOSE THINGS COULD BE MADE

ENTIRELY OF PLASTIC EXPLOSIVES.

WAKE UP, T.S.A.!

OLD PEOPLE ARE POWDER KEGS.

GOLD BOND POWD EBUT STILL.

THEY'RE DISGRUNTLED, THEY HAVE

NOTHING TO LOSE, AND THEY HOLD

EXTREMIST VIEWS ON MANY GROUPS.

I CAN'T EVEN REPEAT WHAT MY AUNT

RITA SAID AT THANKSGIVING ABOUT

THE SPANIARDS.

LET'S JUST SAY WE WON'T BE

SERVING SANGRIA AGAIN.

FOLKS, I HAVE ALSO ALZHEIMER'S

BEEN SUSPICIOUS OF THESE

GERIATRIC JIHADIST.

PLUS I DID SOME INTERNET

RESEARCH, AND I DISCOVERED THEY

ARE ALREADY TRAINING.

( LAUGHTER )

( GUNFIRE )

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME

BEFORE SHE SHOOTS UP A

CRACKER-BARREL BECAUSE THEIR

LEMONADE IS TOO DAMN SWEET!

WHAT DID A SPANIARD MIX IT?

I SAY WE NIP THIS IN THE BUD AND

SEND OUR ELDERLY TO GITMO.

JUST TELL THEM IT'S FLORIDA.

THEY NEVER GO OUTSIDE ANYWAY.

( APPLAUSE )

WARPING.

YOU'VE BEEN WANDER.

NATION, THERE'S AN ISSUE THAT

HAS BECOME A CUDGEL AGAINST THE

REPUBLICANS THERE THIS CAMPAIGN.

IT'S CONTRACEPTION, AND I AM

TIRED OF TALKING ABOUT IT.

SO INSTEAD, I'M GOING TO MIME

ABOUT IT.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

ANOTHER NOW I CAN TALK ABOUT IT

AGAIN.

THIS IS A PALETTE CLEANSER.

( LAUGHTER )

AND IT'S IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT

THIS SO-CALLED CONTROVERSY.

BECAUSE IT'S THREATENING THE

LIVELIHOODHOOD OF RADIO HOST AND

TATER-TOT IN CASUAL WEAR, RUSH

LIMBAUGH.

>> THE ADVERTISERS FLEEING FROM

RUSH LIMBAUGH IS GROWING.

141 COMPANIES HAVE OFFICIALLY

BAILED ON LIMBAUGH'S RADIO SHOW.

AMONG THE LATEST, ACURA, I.B.M.,

AMERICAN EXPRESS, McDONALD'S

AND THE U.S. ARMY.

>> Stephen: YES, THE ARMY IS

PULLING OUT OF RUSH.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

MEANWHILE--

( APPLAUSE )

MEANWHILE, THEY'RE STAYING IN

AFGHANISTAN TO NEGOTIATE WITH

THE TALIBAN WHO EVIDENTLY HAVE A

BETTER TRACK RECORD ON WOMEN'S

ISSUES.

( LAUGHTER )

AND NOW, PREMIERE RADIO NETWORK

WHICH SYNDICATES EL-RUSH-BO, HAS

CANCELED ALL ITS NATIONAL AD

SPOTS FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS

WHICH IS ITS SOLE SOURCE OF

REVENUE FOR THE SHOW.

THINGS HAVE GOTTEN SO BAD,

FOLKES, RUSH MAY HAVE TO START A

PLEDGE DRIVE.

LADIES, DONATE NOW, AND WILL GET

THIS FREE TOTE BAG, PUT ALL

YOUR-- PUT ALL YOUR FLUFF STUFF

IN THERE.

( APPLAUSE )

FOR THE WALK OF SHAME.

AND, FOLKS, THESE ACCUSATIONS OF

SEXISM ARE TOTALLY UNFAIR TO

RUSH.

JUST ASK RUSH.

>> YOU HOCAN I BE ANTI-WOMEN?

I EVEN JUDGED THE MISS AMERICA

PAGEANT.

>> Stephen: YES!

WHAT MORE DOES HE HAVE TO DO,

JUDGE PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR?

( APPLAUSE )

PLUS, RUSH IS JUST EXERCISING

HIS RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH.

AND WHILE IT IS SHOCKING THAT

RUSH WOULD EXERCISE ANYTHING,

THIS IS AMERICA.

WE MUST DEFEND THE PRINCIPLE

SYMBOLIZED BY LADY LIBERTY,

UNLESS SHE'S ON THE PILL, WHICHN

WHICH CASE SHE IS A GIANT, GREEN

TRAMP.

OH, SHE'LL LIFT HER LAMP AND

OPEN HER GOLDEN DOOR FOR

ANYBODY.

YOUR TIRED, YOUR POOR, AND NOT

JUST ONE-ON-ONE.

SHE'LL TAKE ON HUDDLED MASSES.

EVERYBODY LINE UP FOR A PEEK

UNDER HER TOGA.

THE REAL VICTIM-- THE REAL

VICTIM HERE IS RUSH.

THIS WHOLE BIRTH CONTROL

CONTROVERSY STARTED WITH THAT

GEORGETOWN LAW STUDENT, SANDRA

FLUKE.

WHOSE TESTIMONY WAS NO FLUKE.

>> JIM, TONIGHT WE'RE GOING TO

CONNECT THE DOTS FOR YOU.

>> FOLLOW ME HERE.

PRESIDENT OBAMA ON THE ROPES

WITH THE ECONOMY AND

SPECIFICALLY WITH WOMEN VOTERS,

GETS MRS. FLUKE TO CREATE A

CONTROVERSY, AND THE LIBERAL

MAINSTREAM MEDIA PUPPETS PLAY

ALONG AS SCRIPTED.

>> IT'S ALL PART OF A PLAN.

IT IS NOT ACCIDENTAL.

NONE OF THIS STUFF JUST

HAPPENED.

WHOA!

LOOKIE OVER THERE WHAT JUDD

HAPPENED.

IT'S ALL ORCHESTRATED.

>> THERE'S NO DOUBT IN MY MIND,

IN MY INVESTIGATOR'S MIND, THAT

THIS WOMAN FROM THE VERY

BEGINNING WAS WHAT THEY CALL

"RUN" BY VERY POWERFUL PEOPLE.

>> OH, YEAH SHE'S AWE PAWN.

>> Stephen: OH, YEAH, SHE WAS

RUN BY POWERFUL PEOPLE.

SHE'S A PAWN.

I MEAN, WHAT'S THE ALTERNATIVE

THAT A 30-YEAR-OLD WOMAN HAD HER

OWN THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT

REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS?

( LAUGHTER )

COME ON.

WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

BUT DESPITE THE DEMOCRATS'

PATHETIC ATTEMPTS TO DERAIL IT

WITH THE SO-CALLED REPUBLICAN

WAR ON WOMEN, THE G.O.P.

PRESIDENTIAL RACE MARCHES ON, OR

IN THE CASE OF NEWT GINGRICH,

SHAMBLES ON, STOPS FOR BREATH,

AND THEN MAKES A SMALL PURCHASE

ATATIVE 'S.

YESTERDAY, THE INEVITABLE

NOMINEE, MITT ROMNEY APPEARED ON

FOX NEWS TO REITERATE HIS

CAMPAIGN'S CORE MESSAGE OF HOPE.

>> I MADE A LOT OF MONEY.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: NOW, I'M GOING TO

TELLUE.

( CHEERING )

THAT IS A GUY I WOULD LIKE TO

HAVE A BEER COMPANY WITH.

ON TUESDAY, MITT DOMINATED THE

PRIMARIES IN HAWAII AND AMERICAN

SAMOA AFTER PREVIOUSLY WINNING

IN THE MARIANAS ISLANDS AND

GUAM.

NO SURPRISE MITT DOES WELL IN

THE PACIFIC.

THE NATIVES MISTAKE HIM FOR AN

EASTER ISLAND HEAD.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT RICK SANTORUM IS NOT RIDING

OFF THE ISLAND.

YESTERDAY, HE WENT DOWN TO

PUERTO RICO TO PICK UP SOME

DELEGATES, OR DELGADOS.

AND RICK DID NOT PANDER,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SUBJECT

TURNED TO WHAT PUERTO RICO WOULD

HAVE TO DO TO BECOME A STATE

SAYING, "LIKE ANY OTHER STATE,

THERE NEEDS TO BE COMPLIANCE

WITH FEDERAL LAW, AND THAT IS

THAT ENGLISH NEEDS TO BE THE

PRINCIPAL LANGUAGE."

FOLKS, FOLKS, IT TAKES SERIOUS

COJONS TO GO TO PUERTO RICO AND

TO TELL THEM TO STOP SAYING

CAJONS.

I MEAN,

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERING )

RICK'S FORMULA IS SIMPLE-- YOU

SPEAK ENGLISH, YOU BECOME A

STATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S TAKING D.C.

SO LONG.

( LAUGHTER )

NOW I KNOW, I KNOW, PUERTO

RICANS HAVE BEEN SPEAKING

SPANISH, OR AS MY AUNT RITA

CALLS IT, TACO TALK--

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

SINCE TEEN 08.

TRY SOME FLASH CARDS.

TRY THE ROSETTA STONE.

IT'S THAT TOUGH LOVE THAT WILL

GET RICK RACKING UP DELEGATES

ALL OVER THE MAP.

NEXT HE WILL TELL VOTERS IN

WISCONSIN TO LAY OFF THE CHEESE,

FATTYES, AND VOTERS IN INDIANA

TO SPEAKA THE ENGLISH.

SANTORUM IS REMINDING PUERTO

RICANS TO BE IN COMPLIANCE WITH

FEDERAL LAW, ENGLISH NEEDS TO BE

THE PRINCIPAL LANGUAGE.

AND, SURE, THERE IS NO SUCH

SPECIAL LAW.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT IT SURE FEELS LIKE THERE IS.

AND RICK SANTORUM ALWAYS SPEAKS

WHAT FEELS LIKE THE TRUTH.

FOR INSTANCE, LAST MONTH, WHEN

HE SPOKE OUT ON THE DANGERS OF

SOCIALIZED MEDICINE.

>> IN THE NETHERLANDS, PEOPLE

WEAR DIFFERENT BRACELETS.

AND THE BRACELET IS, "DO NOT

EUTHANIZE ME."

HALF THE PEOPLE EUTHANIZED EVERY

YEAR, 10% OF ALL DEATHES, HALF

OF THOSE PEOPLE ARE EUTHANIZED

INVOLUNTARILY BECAUSE THEY ARE

OLDER AND SICK.

>> Stephen: SHOCKING, AND

TURNS OUT, NOT TRUE.

( LAUGHTER )

EVIDENTLY SANTORUM'S COMMENTS

ABOUT THE NETHERLANDSS WERE

YANKED OUT OF HIS NETHER-PARTS.

BUT THAT DISAPPOINT MATTER.

AS HIS PRESS SECRETARY EXPLAINED

TO THE NETHERLANDS NEWS LEADER--

>> AS A DUTCH REPORTER I HAVE TO

ASK YOU SOMETHING WHAT HE SAID

ABOUT HOLLAND AND EUTHANASIA.

HE SAID PEOPLE WEAR BRACELETS IN

HOLLAND THAT SAY DO NOT

EUTHANIZE ME AND PEOPLE ARE

INVOLUNTARILY EUTHANIZED.

DO YOU REMEMBER HIM SAYING THAT?

>> YES, BUT A LOT OF THESE

THINGS, IT'S A MATTER OF WHAT'S

IN HIS HEART.

>> Stephen: YES.

( LAUGHTER )

IT'S JUST A MATTER OF WHAT'S IN

HIS HEART.

AND IN RICK SANTORUM'S HEART,

DUTCH DOCTORS PUSH OLD PEOPLE IN

WHEELCHAIRS UP TO WINDMILLS AND

LET THE BLADES CHOP THEIR HEADS

OFF.

AND THEN COMBINED THEM INTO A

PASTE-- GRIND THEM INTO A PASTE

AND USE THAT PASTE TO PLUG

CRACKS IN THE DIKES AND TURN

THEIR SKULLS INTO WOODEN SHOES.

THE POINT IS, AS LONG AS IT'S IN

YOUR HEART, IT IS TRUE.

THAT IS WHY RIGHT NOW TO SHOW MY

SUPPORT FOR RICK SANTORUM, I AM

GOING TO TWEET WHAT IS IN MY

HEART ABOUT RICK, REGARDLESS OF

WHETHER OR NOT IT'S TRUE.

( CLEARS THROAT )

LET'S SEE HERE.

RICK SANTORUM HAS BODY HAIR IN

THE EXACT SHAPE OF HIS SWEATER

VEST.

( LAUGHTER )

HASHES TAG, IN MY HEART.

SEND.

( LAUGHTER )

RICK SANTORUM, YOU KEEP SPEAKING

WHAT'S IN YOUR HEART AS LONG AS

IT'S IN ENGLISH.

( LAUGHTER )

AND I AM SURE YOU'LL GET THE

NOMINATION, OR AT LEAST FEEL

LIKE YOU HAVE.

( LAUGHTER )

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NATION-- CHECK YOUR CALENDARS,

EVERYBODY.

THIS SATURDAY IS ST. PATRICK'S

DAY, AND TO GET IN THE SPIRIT, I

HAVE FILLED THE STUDIO WITH

POISONOUS SNAKES SO I CAN DRIVE

THEM OUT LIKE ST. PATRICK.

DON'T WORRY, AUDIENCE-- THEY

NEVER COME OUT UNLESS THERE'S A

LOUD NOISE LIKE CHEERING OR

CLAPPING OR CHANTING MY NAME.

UNFORTUNATELY, BACK IN ME

IRELAND, NOT EVERYTHING IS SO

FESTIVE.

IT SEEMS THAT THE HIGH EXCHANGE

RATE BETWEEN THE EURO AND THE

DANISH KRONE IS CAUSING SKY-HIGH

PRICES FOR ONE OF DENMARK'S HOT

EXPORTS TO IRELAND, DANISH

SPERM.

( LAUGHTER )

YOU SEE, THE IRISH IMPORT ALL

THEIR SPERM FROM DENMARK, RATHER

THAN PRODUCE THEIR OWN BECAUSE

OF THEIR LACK OF REGULATION FOR

DONATING SPERM AND BECAUSE IN

IRELAND, NO ONE'S ALLOWED TO

MOVE THEIR HANDS.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

WELL I AM NOT--

( APPLAUSE )

I AM NOT-- I AM NOT GOING TO SIT

HERE WHILE THE ISLE NEEDS ME.

THAT'S WHY I'M PROUD TO

INTRODUCE MY NEW BRAND FOR MAN'S

SEED FOR THE IRELAND MARKET.

STEPHEN COLBERT FORMULA FOUR

O'ONE, FRESH FROM MY BARNEY

STONE.

TIPO THE MORNING TO YOU, THE

TIP, OF COURSE, THE MOST

SENSITIVE PART.

I'M GLAD TO HELP OUT MY FELLOW

IRISH AND THIS WEEKEND I WILL BE

TEARING IT UP AT THE LOCAL

TRADITIONAL IRISH PUNDIT

GATHERING AT O'HANRAHAN'S.

I PLAY THE BOREN, HANNITY PLAYED

TIN WHISTLE, OH, REILLY STEP

DANCES, AND CHRIS MATTHEWS IS ON

THE POTATO.

I ALWAYS WRESTLE WITH HOW TO

HONOR THE OLD SOD ON ST.

PATRICK'S DAY, BUT THIS YEAR IT

WILL BE EASY THANKS TO A SPECIAL

PACKAGE I RECEIVED FROM AN

ACTUAL IRISH WHISKEY COMPANY WHO

SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS BECAUSE

THERE WAS NO CASH IN THE BAG.

NO FREE RIDES.

THEY ALSO INCLUDED THIS

AUTHENTIC IRISH CULTURAL

GARMENT.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

FINALLY, FINALLY, SOMEONE

TREATING THE IRISH WITH DIGNITY.

( LAUGHTER )

TOO OFTEN THESE DAYS WE'RE

STEREOTYPED AS EX-CIA OPERATIVES

ON THE HUNT FOR THEIR KIDNAPPED

DAUGHTERS OR FIGHTERS OF GRAY

WOLVES OR MENTORS TO THE BATMAN.

BUT AT LEAST, AROUND IRISH

PRODUCT IS RESPECTFULLY

REPRESENTING MY PEOPLE AS

DRUNKEN AMISH.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE ).

IN FACT, I WAS SO INSPIRED THEY

PREPARED A WHOLE LINE OF

ETHNICALLY ACCURATE HEADGEAR FOR

THE HOLIDAYS.

IF THE GOOD PEOPLE AT

MANISCHEWITZ ARE WATCHING RIGHT

NOW, MIGHT I RECOMMEND THIS WEEK

SENDING OUT THIS PASSOVER PARTY

HAT.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

( LAUGHTER )

WHY-- WHY IS THIS HAT DIFFERENT

FROM ALL OTHER HATS?

BECAUSE IT IS IN NO WAY

OFFENSIVE.

( LAUGHTER )

NOW, LET'S SEE.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, IF YOU'LL

EXCUSE ME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

I AM GOING TO INDULGE IN SOME OF

MY TRADITIONAL FOODS FROM MY

HOMELAND.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERING )

BOWL OF LUCKY CHARMS, AND OF

COURSE SOME FRESH CUT IRISH

SPRING.

( LAUGHTER )

OH, THE SPIRITS OF THE SEASON.

AND THEN I'M GOING TO STAB AN

ENGLISHMAN IN THE NECK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT HAS BEEN CALLED

THE PREMIERE COMBAT JOURNALIST

OF HIS GENERATION.

HE'S ABOUT TO MEET THE PREMIERE

COMBAT AVOIDER OF ANY

GENERATION.

PLEASE WELCOME DEXTER FILKINS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HEY, DEXTER.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

YOU'RE A PULITZER PRIZE-WINNING

JOURNALIST.

YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK

"THE FOREVER WAR."

AND NOW YOU WORK AT THE "NEW

YORKER," TRUE?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: OKAY, WHEN YOU'RE

IN A WAR ZONE, WHAT WAS THE

LATEST ONE YOU WERE IN?

>> AH, PAKISTAN.

>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU'RE IN

PAKISTAN, THINGS ARE GETTING

HAIRY,UN, MAYBE YOU'RE TRYING TO

STAY AWAY FROM THE BAD GUYS OUR

FIND OUT WHERE THEY ARE.

DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU-- THE

WORK TER"NEW YORKER" WHY DON'T I

DO MOVIE REVIEWS OR DRAW THE

CARTOONS ABOUT THE PSYCHIATRIST

DOGS.

>> I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT.

>> Stephen: ASSAD IN SYRIA IS

CRUSH, THE RESISTANCE OF HIS

PEOPLE RIGHT NOW.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: AND LAST MONTH,

TWO JOURNALISTS McCREE COLVIN

AND ANTHONY SHADID DIED COVERING

THAT WAR.

ANTHONY SHADID HAS A RECENT BOOK

CALLED "HOUSE OF STONE: A

MEMOIR OF HOME, FAMILY, AND A

LOST MIDDLE EAST."

WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE AND YOU

COLVIN AND SHADID, WHY DO YOU GO

DO IT?

AS AMERICANS, ISN'T IT

SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU EVEN CARE

ABOUT OTHER COUNTRIES?

( LAUGHTER )

WHAT IS IT THAT DRAWS YOU-- I

MEAN, THERE'S A WAR ON WOMEN

HERE.

WHY NOT COVER THAT?

>> YOU JUST SAID IT.

I MEAN, IF YOU TAKE SYRIA.

I MEAN, HERE'S A GOVERNMENT THAT

WAS NOT ELECTED.

AND THEY ARE-- THEY ARE-- THEY

ARE WAGING WAR AGAINST THEIR

POPULATION.

THEY ARE SHELLING CITIES.

THEY ARE-- THEY'VE KILLED AT

LEAST 7,000 PEOPLE SO FAR.

THEY'VE TORTURED PEOPLE.

THEY'VE ARRESTED PEOPLE.

AND WHAT THEY WANT MORE THAN

ANYTHING IS THEY WANT TO BE ABLE

TO OPERATE IN SECRET.

THEY DON'T WANT THE REST OF THE

WORLD TO KNOW.

AND SO WHEN PEOPLE LIKE ANTHONY

AND MARIE WERE DOING, THEY WERE

BOTH FRIENDS, IS THEY JUST

WANTED TO GET IN AND TALK TO

PEOPLE AND TALK TO REAL PEOPLE

AND FIND OUT WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

AND THEN GET OUT AND TELL THE

REST OF THE WORLD.

>> Stephen: DO YOU FEEL LIKE

A SENSE OF MISSION?

IS THIS LIKE A VOCATION TO DO

THIS OR THIS IS JUST A JOB AND

YOUR JOB JUST HAPPENS TO BE MORE

DANGEROUS THAN MINE?

>> IT'S A JOB.

IT'S A JOB.

I DON'T HAVE-- I HAVE ABSOLUTELY

NO POINT OF VIEW THAT I'M TRYING

TO PUT ACROSS.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> NO!

I MEAN, I THINK, IN FACT, WHAT

YOU FIND-- OR WHAT I FIND--

WHENEVER I'VE GONE INTO ONE OF

THESE PLACES, WHETHER IT'S

PAKISTAN OR YEMEN, WHERE I WAS

LAST YEAR, OR AFGHANISTAN, WHERE

I'M GOING IN ABOUT A WEEK, WHAT

YOU FIND OUT IS EVERYTHING YOU

THOUGHT BEFORE YOU GOT THERE WAS

WRONG.

>> Stephen: WHAT DID YOU

LEARN YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT

IT FROM OTHER JOURNALISTS WHO

HAD GONE IN?

>> YEAH, BUT YOU CAN-- YOU CAN--

YOU DEVELOP INEVITABLY-- ANYONE

WOULD-- PRECONCEPTIONS.

IT'S NOT THAT THE PRECONCEPTIONS

ARE WRONG.

WHAT YOU DISCOVER IS THINGS ARE

UNBELIEVABLY COMPLICATED, AND

THEY'RE MUCH MORE COMPLICATED

THAN, SAY, WHEN YOU COME HOME

AND YOU TURN ON THE TV AND YOU

HEAR SOMEBODY-- SOME RETIRED

COLONEL SHOUTING FROM A TV

STUDIO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S

TALKING ABOUT.

IT'S NOT THE COUNTRY THAT I SAW.

AND SO--

>> Stephen: THIS IS THE

THINGY DON'T UNDERSTAND, IS

SOMEONE STILL NEEDS TO MAKE THE

ARGUMENT TO ME WHY WE NEED OTHER

COUNTRIES.

( LAUGHTER )

>> WELL--

>> Stephen: BECAUSE I HAVE

PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS ABOUT

EVERYTHING EAST OF CAPE COD.

( LAUGHTER )

WHAT'S THE WORST PLACE YOU'VE

EVER BEEN TO?

>> PAKISTAN.

>> Stephen: PAKISTAN?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU EVER-- DO

YOU EVER HOPE THAT A WAR WOULD

BREAK OUT IN, LIKE, FIJI?

( LAUGHTER )

>> YEAH.

I MEAN, I HAVE TO SAY, THE FIRST

WAR ZONE I EVER WENT TO WAS

SRI LANKATHIS, ISLAND IN THE

INDIAN OCEAN.

AND I HAVEN'T BEEN TO FIJI, BUT

SIS RI LANKA IS EXTRAORDINARY.

I COVERED THIS KIND OF SCENE OF

A MASSACRE, AND I WENT BACK TO

MY HOTEL, WHICH WAS RIGHT ON

THIS BEAUTIFUL BEACH IN THIS

GORGEOUS HARBOR, AND I HAD

LOBSTER THAT NIGHT FOR DINNER.

SO IT-- THAT HAPPENS A LOT.

SOME OF THESE PLACES ARE

ACTUALLY PRETTY GORGEOUS.

YEMEN IS STUNNING.

IT'S AMAZING.

BUT IT'S--

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> BUT IT'S LIKE THE END OF THE

WORLD, TOO, YOU KNOW.

( LAUGHTER )

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT,

I'VE BEEN DOING COVERAGE OF THE

ENTIRE WORLD FROM INSIDE A

STUDIO FOR YEARS.

( LAUGHTER )

AND IF I CAN RECOMMEND

SOMETHING, I HAVE A GREEN SCREEN

OVER THERE, YOU JUST STAND IN

FRONT OF IT, WE PUT A PICTURE

BEHIND YOU, AND EVERYONE

BELIEVES THAT YOU'RE IN THE

MIDDLE EAST.

AND ONE-- ONE KIND OF, LIKE,

BURNED OUT SANDY PHOTO BEHIND

YOU COVERS EVERYTHING FROM

MOROCCO TO PAKISTAN.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: IT'S A PENNY

PINCER.

>> WELL, KIND OF-- TRUE.

AND I-- I MEAN A LOT OF PEOPLE

WOULD AGREE WITH YOU, AND A I

THINK A LOT OF THEM,

UNFORTUNATELY, CONTROL THE

BUDGETS OF A LOT OF NEWSROOMS.

WHAT YOU FIEND WHEN YOU-- YOU

KNOW, IT'S EASY FROM AFAR TO

LOOK AND SAY, YOU KNOW, THE

MUSLIM WORLD, MOROCCO ALL THE

WAY TO END'd INDONESIA AND SAY

THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )

THAT IS EXTREMELY EASY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

ENJOYABLE.

DEXTER, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

JOINING ME.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

DEXTER FILKINS.

HIS BOOK IS "THE FOREVER WAR."

WE WANT TO MAKE SURE WE POINT

OUT AGAIN "HOUSE OF STONE" BY

ANTHONY SHADID.

GO GET IT.

IT'S AN INCREDIBLE

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

WE'RE OFF FOR THE