April 25, 2013 - Gene Robinson

  • Episode: 09092
  • (0)

Stephen starts an "O" Book Club, Matt Cartwright speaks Spanish, Fox & Friends gets the word out about a guy singing like a canary, and Gene Robinson advocates gay rights.

>> Stephen: WELCOME TOTE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

( CHEERS )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU, SO MUCH.

PLEASE, HEROES, ALL.

SIT DOWN.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU

FOR BEING HERE TONIGHT.

IT'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO BRING

YOU THE TRUTH RIGHT DOWN THE

TRUTH HOLE.

NATION, FOR YEARS I HAVE ADMIRED

"O," THE OPRAH BOOK CLIB.

AND WHILE LADY "O" AND I ARE

VERY CLOSE, WE'RE ALSO

COMPETITORS.

WE'RE NOT IN SHOW FRIENDSHIP.

WE'RE IN SHOW BUSINESS.

THAT'S WHY TONIGHT I AM PROUD TO

INTRODUCE THE START OF MY OWN

BOOK CLUB, C-OH-LBERT BOOK CLUB.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

IT IS GOING TO BE A LITERARY

PHENOMENA OF NARRATIVE

DECONSTRUCTION AND SYMBOLIC

ANALYSIS, PLUS TOGETHER, WE WILL

DISCOVER HOW MANY COPIES OF THE

BOOK YOU'LL NEED TO LEVEL YOUR

KITCHEN TABLE.

( LAUGHTER ).

AND OUR VERY FIRST BOOK IS CAN CAN

REAT GATSBY" BY F. SCOTTIS "THEG

FITZGERALD.

FOLKS, WE'RE READYING IT FOR ALL

THE RIGHT REASONS-- BECAUSE

THERE'S A MOVIE OF IT COMING

OUT.

THIS WAY AT THE PREMIERE ON MAY

10, WE CAN SMUGLY TURN TO OUR

FRIENDS AND SAY, "THE BOOK WAS

BETTER."

THOUGH I HAVE TO SAY I'M PRETTY

SURE THE MOVIE IS GOING TO BE

AMAZING.

IT'S IN 3D.

THAT'S RIGHT!

IT FEELS LIKE THE THEMES OF

LONGING AND ALIENATION ARE IN

YOUR PIPES.

PLUS, A SOUNDTRACK BY JAY-Z,

JUST LIKE F. SCOTT FIT-ZEE WOULD

HAVE WANTED.

NOW, SURE, THE "THE GREAT

GATSBY" HERE IS ALREADY

CONSIDERED TO BE AN AMERICAN

CLASSIC, BUT NOTHING IS AN

AMERICAN CLASSIC UNTIL I SAY IT

IS.

WHICH IS WHY I'M CALLING ON YOU,

THOSE FEW LIT RAMEMBERS OF THE

COLBERT NATION, TO PICK THUP

BOOK AND-- THIS IS WHERE IT GETS

TRICKY-- READ THE WORDS INSIDE

OF IT, OKAY?

( LAUGHTER )

YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS TO FINISH IT,

NATION.

BECAUSE ON MAY 9, PULITZER

PRIZE-WINNING NOVELIST JENNIFER

EGAN WILLED LEAD THE BOOK CLUB'S

DISCUSSION AND THE DIRECTOR OF

THE MOVIE, BAZ LUHRMAN, WILL BE

HERE IN 3D.

( LAUGHTER )

TOGETHER, TOGETHER--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WE WILL DECIDE WHAT IT'S GERALD

REALLY MEANT WHEN HE SAY, "SO WE

BEAT OBOATS AGAINST THE CURRENT,

BORNE BACK CEASELESSLY INTO THE

PAST."

IT'S THE NAME OF HIS CHILDHOOD

SLED.

( APPLAUSE )

FOLKS, I'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT

CRAYONS ARE A LOT LIKE PEOPLE--

THEY MAY COME IN DIFFERENT

COLORS, BUT INSIDE, THEY'RE ALL

THE SAME FLAVOR.

( LAUGHTER )

AND WE WOULD NOT HAVE CRAYONS IF

IT WERE NOT FOR THE CRAYOLA

COMPANY OF EASTERN PENNSYLVANIA,

WHICH IS IN THE SUBJECT OF THE

68th INSTALLMENT OF MY

434-PART SERIES "BETTER KNOW A

DISTRICT."

TONIGHT, THE FIGHTIN' 17th.

THE 17th IS HOME TO THE

OLDEST BREWERY IN THE UNITED

STATES, YUENGLING, WHOSE NAME IS

ANANG LISIZED VERSION OF THE

GERMAN WORD JUNGLING, WHICH

MEANS YOUNG BOY.

BUT IF YOU'RE EVER IN A BAR AND

THEY OFFER YOU A YOUNG BOY,

PLEASE ALERT AUTHORITIES

IMMEDIATELY.

( LAUGHTER ).

( APPLAUSE )

NOW THE 17th WAS ONCE HOME

TO PAPA BEAR BILL O'REILLY WHO

CUT HIS TEETH AS A REPORTER FOR

NEPWILLS-BARRY-SCRONTON.

IT IS THERE WHERE HE TESTED OUT

THE NO SPIN ZONE, THE STAY STILL

SPOT AND LACK OF ROTATION AREA.

AND JUST WHO HAS THE SCRAP TOLL

REPRESENT THIS CORNER OF

PENNSYLVANIA, IT'S NONE OTHER

THAN FIRST TERM CONGRESSMAN MATT

CARTWRIGHT.

I SAT DOWN WITH REPRESENTATIVE

CARTWRIGHT SOMEWHERE IN THE

NORTHERN HEMISPHERE.

CONGRESSMAN THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR TALKING TO ME TODAY.

>> MY PLEASURE.

I'VE BEEN A BIG FAN, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: WELL, THE FEELING

IS MUTUAL?

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: I MEAN ABOUT ME.

>> YOU'RE A BIG FAN OF YOURSELF.

>> Stephen: I AM.

>> YOU SHOULD BE.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY

MUCH, THANK YOU.

I THINK WE MIGHT BE DONE.

WE HAVE SOME OTHER QUESTIONS,

OKAY.

MY APOLOGIES.

I GOT WHAT I NEEDED.

( LAUGHTER ).

OKAY, I STILL HAVE TO ASK SOME

QUESTIONS.

CONGRESSMAN, TELL ME ABOUT THE

FIGHTIN' 17th.

>> WELL, THE FIGHTIN' 17th

IS THE NEW DISTRICT IN

NORTHEASTERN PENNSYLVANIA.

IT'S COMPOSED OF SCRANTON,

WILKES-BARRE.

>> THE CRAYOLA COMPANY IS IN

YOUR DISTRICT, RIGHT?

>> RIGHT, THAT'S DOWN IN EASTON.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL

ABOUT RECENT PLANS TO RENAME THE

WHITE CRAYON REPUBLICAN?

>> I DO NOT AGREE WITH THAT.

>> Stephen: DO NOT AGREE WITH

THAT.

( LAUGHTER ).

NOW, WHEN IT COMES TO

IMMIGRATION, YOU SAY YOU'D LIKE

TO TURN UNDOIMENTED WORKERS INTO

TAXPAYERS.

>> I THINK I AGREE WITH THE

PRESIDENT'S APPROACH THAT WE

HAVE TO HAVE A TOUGH BUT FAIR

PROCESS TO, THE PATH TO

CITIZENSHIP.

>> Stephen: LET'S CALL IT

AMNESTY, SHAM-NESTY AS I CALL

IT.

>> I THINK THE PRESIDENT'S

APPROACH IS THE RIGHT ONE.

WE'RE NOT ABOUT TO DEPORT 11

MILLION PEOPLE IN THIS COUNTRY.

THEY'RE DOING JOBS THAT NOBODY

ELSE WANTS TO DO.

>> Stephen: LIKE WHAT?

>> LIKE TRANSIENT FARM WORKING

JOBS.

>> I DON'T CARE WHAT SEX THEY

ARE AS LONG AS THEY PICK OUR

VEGETABLES.

>> TRANSIENT FARM WORKERS ARE

PEOPLE WHO MOVE FROM ONE PLACE

TO THE NEXT.

>> Stephen: RIGHT, BECAUSE NO

ONE WANTS A TRANSIENT.

I BELIEVE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO

PICK VEGETABLES.

>> TRANSIENT FARM WORKERS DON'T

HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE--

WITH TRANSGENDER PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: ANOTHER MY

APOLOGIES.

MY APOLOGIES TO MEXICANS.

( LAUGHTER )

SPEAKING OF WHICH, THE HISPANIC

VOTE WAS KEY TO THE DEMOCRATIC

VICTORY IN 2012, TRUE?

>> I THINK SO.

>> Stephen: HOW DID YOU

PANDER TO THOSE VOTERS?

( LAUGHTER )

IN ESPANOL?

>> I'M AFRAID MY SPAN SISH QUITE

POOR.

>> Stephen: LET ME HELP YOU

OUT TO APPEAL TO FANNISH VOTERS

JUST REPEAT AFTER ME.

I CARUMBA.

JUST SAY, HEY, YOU GUYS.

EYE CARUMBA.

>> ICARUMBA.

>> SALIR.

>> SAL IR.

>> Stephen: ME BARRIO.

BARRIO.ME

>> Stephen: REPUBLICANS WOULD

NEVER SAY THAT TO YOU BECAUSE

THEY DO NOT SPEAK SPANISH?

( LAUGHTER )

NOW, A FELLOW ROMAN CATHOLIC?

>> YES.

>> UP HERE, RIGHT UP HERE.

BOOM.

ONE TRUE BRIDE OF CHRIST, RIGHT?

>> SURE YOU.

>> Stephen: CAN'T SAY THAT

WHEN PROTESTANTS ARE AROUND.

IT'S SO SAD THEY'RE GOING TO

HELL AND WE'RE NOT, ISN'T IT?

I'LL MISS THEM.

THERE ARE SOME GOOD ONES.

>> THERE ARE A LOT OF GOOD ONES.

>> Stephen: YUP.

I SALUTE YOU FOR PUTTING THE

TEACHINGS OF THE CHURCH ABOVE

POLITICS.

SO FEW DEMOCRATS ARE WILLING TO

DO THAT.

DOES IT CAUSE TROUBLE WITH THE

REST OF THE DEMOCRAT THALZ YOU

OPPOSE BIRTH CONTROL AND ARE

OPPOSED TO HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGE?

>> I AM A SUPPORTER OF MARRIAGE

ECOMMONWEALTH.

>> Stephen: I BELIEVE ALL

MARRIAGES SHOULD BE EQUAL.

EVERY LEGITIMATE MARRIAGE

SHOULD, THAT'S A MAN AND A

WOMAN.

NO ONE'S MARRIAGE IS BETTER THAN

OTHERS.

MINE IS-- MINE IS ACTUALLY

BETTER, BUT LEGALLY, NO ONE'S

MARRIAGE SHOULD BE BETTER THAN

OTHERS AS LONG AS IT IS A

LEGITIMATE MARRIAGE.

>> I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'S

MARRIAGE IS BETTER THAN MINE.

MY WIFE, MARION, AND I HAVE BEEN

TOGETHER FOR 27 YEARS.

AND WE BOTH SUPPORT MARRIAGE

EQUALITY FOR THE

L.G.B.T. POPULATION.

THERE'S NO REASON TO

DISCRIMINATE.

>> Stephen: THE WHO?

WHAT'S THE L.G.B.T.?

>> LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL AND

TRANSGENDER PEOPLE.

>> SO YOU WANT LESBIANS, GAYS,

BISEXUALS, AND THOSE TRANSIENTS

WHO PICK MY VEGETABLES.

GAY PEOPLE CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN.

THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE IS TO

HAVE CHILDREN.

GAY PEOPLE CAN'T HAVE CHILDREN.

YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS, RIGHT?

YOU BE HOW BABIES ARE MADE?

( LAUGHTER )

>> THEN YOU'RE SAYING THAT

PEOPLE --

>> Stephen: I HAVE TO GET TO

THE FIRST QUESTION.

YOU KNOW HOW BABIES ARE MADE.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE WE'RE

ON THE SAME PAG.

>> I'M AWARE OF HOW BABIES ARE

MADE.

>> Stephen: AND YOU KNOW GAY

PEOPLE DON'T DO THAT NOT MUCH OF

AN ARGUMENT WHEN ST. PETER

JUDGES YOU AT THE GATES UPON

HEAVEN. "HEY, YOU WERE AGAINST

THE LAW OF GOD."

WHAT!

( LAUGHTER )

LET'S MOVE ON.

DO YOU REMEMBER SEVERAL

CAUCUSES, INCLUDING THE

CONGRESSIONAL BLACK CAUCUS,

TRUE?

>> I DON'T THINK I AM IN THAT

ONE.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOT IN THE

CONGRESSIONAL BLACK CAUCUS?

>> I DON'T THINK I AM.

>> Stephen: IT SAYS HERE ARE

YOU-- OH, I'M SORRY, THE BIKE

CAUCUS.

I DIDN'T KNOW THEY RODE BIKES.

ANYWAY, OKAY.

( LAUGHTER ).

OH, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.

I NEVER LEARNED TO RIDE A BIKE.

>> OOOH!

>> Stephen: NEVER LEARNED.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO RIDE A BIKE?

>> SURE.

>> Stephen: WOULD YOU BE

WILLING TO TEACH ME?

>> I COULD DO THAT.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

( LAUGHTER )

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

>> Stephen: LET'S GO, OKAY,

OKAY.

>> ARE YOU READY?

>> Stephen: I GOT IT, I GOT

IT, I GOT IT.

I'M DOING IT!

I'M DOING IT!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I DID IT.

I DID IT.

LET'S PUT PENNSYLVANIA 17th

UP ON THE BIG BOARD!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I HOPE THAT DISTRICT JUST

TWINKLED OR I THINK I'VE GOT A

CONCUSSION.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

FOLKS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU,

TONIGHT I'M IN A GREAT MOOD

BECAUSE I AM FURIOUS.

IT HAS BEEN LESS THAN A WEEK

SINCE I-- WELL, WE NABBED

ALLEGED BOSTON BOMBER DZHOKAR

TSARNAEV.

AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY?

>> THE "D" IS SILENT.

>> THANK YOU D-DJANGO.

THE F.B.I. AND THE BOSTON POLICE

DID A HER OAK JOB CATCHING THE

CHECHEN TERRORIST AFTER HE TRIED

TO ESCAPE ON A LANDLOCKED BOAT.

( LAUGHTER ).

BUT NOW OUR SECRET CHECHEN

PRESIDENT HAS SCREWED THE WHOLE

THING UP.

>> DZHOKAR TSARNAEV HAS TOLD

F.B.I. AGENTS ABOUT HIS ROLE IN

THE BOMBINGS BUT WAS WE'VE JUST

LEARNED HE DID SO BEFORE BEING

ADVISED OF HIS MOOSH RIGHTS.

>> INVESTIGATORS SAY THE

SURVIVING BOMB SUSPECT HAS NOW

STOPPED TALKING TO THEM AFTER HE

WAS READ HIS MIRANDA RIGHTS.

>> Stephen: NO!

WHY DID WE READ HIM HIS MIRANDA

RIGHTS?

IF ANYTHING WE SHOULD HAVE READ

HIM HIS SAMANTHA RIGHTS.

YOU GIVE HIM THREE COSMOS, AND,

GIRLFRIEND, HE STARTS TO DISH.

NOW, NOW HE KNOWS HE HAS THE

RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, AND

THINGS WERE GOING SO WELL.

RIGHT, "FOX & FRIENDS"?

>> TURNS OUT THE BOMBING SUSPECT

IN BOSTON WAS SINGING LIKE A

CANARY UNTIL THE JUDGE SHOWED

UP.

AND READ HIM HIS RIGHTS.

>> SO BEFORE HE WAS READ HIS

RIGHTS, HE APPARENTLY WAS

SINGING LIKE A CANARY.

>> TURNS OUT THE BOSTON BOMBING

SUSPECT WAS SINGING LIKE A

CANARY UNTIL THE JUDGE SHOWED

UP.

>> TURNS OUT THE BOSTON BOMBING

SUSPECT WAS SINGING LIKE A

CANARY UNTIL THE JUDGE SHOWED

UP.

>> THEY WERE TALKING TO HIM AND

HE WAS SINGING LIKE A CANARY.

>> Stephen: YEAH, HE WAS

SINGING LIKE A CANARY.

SWINGING LIKE A PIG.

DROPPING A DIME LIKE A DIRTY

ROOT RAT.

A STEEL, EVERYTHING WAS JAKE WE

WERE ABOUT TO SEND HIM TO THE

BIG HOUSE, THE SLAERM, ITS GRAY

BAR HOTEL.

IT WAS ALL-- IT WAS ALL EGGS AND

COVES UNTIL THE CHIEF GOT

HIRCHGY AND GAVE US A

DOUBLE-CROSS, THE RUNAROUND, THE

HIGH HOOT.

THAT'S WHAT'S EATING ME, SEE?

I SHOULD FIX HIS CAGON.

THANK YOU, "FOX & FRIENDS," FOR

THE HOT SCOOP.

YOU DONE GOOD, AND THE BIG BOSS

IS REAL HAPPY BECAUSE SOMETIMES

YOU GET THE WORD OUT ABOUT A GUY

SINGING LIKE A CANARY YOU GOT TO

R

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST SOANT IS THE FIRST

OPENLY GAY.

>> PESK PAL BISHOP WHICH I

BELIEVE MEANS HE CAN ONLY MOVE

DIAGONALLY.

PLEASE WELCOME BISHOP GENE ROBIN ROB

ROBINSON.

>> YOUR EXCELLENCY, THANKS SO

MUCH FOR COMING ON.

ALL RIGHT, FOR THE PEOPLE WHO

DON'T KNOW OUT THERE, YOU WERE

ELECTED BISHOP OF THE.

ISCOPALEP

DIOCESE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE, AND

THIS CAUSED A BIT OF A STIR

BECAUSE YOU WERE THE FIRST

OPENLY GAY MAN IN THE EPISCOPAL

CHURCH.

YOU HAVE A BOOK CALLED, "GOD

BELIEVES IN LOVE: STRAIGHT TALK

ABOUT GAY MARRIAGE."

I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO HAVE YOU

ON FOR YEARS, AS YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE I AM A ROMAN CATHOLIC.

AND YOUR CHURCH, THE ANGLICAN,

YOU KNOW, CAME FROM A REJECTION

OF CENTRAL AUTHORITY.

AND WHEN YOU BECAME A BISHOP,

SOME OF THE EPISCOPALIANS

SNAPPED OFF AND TRIED TO BECOME

ANGLICAN AGAIN SO THEY'D HAVE A

CENTRAL AUTHORITY TO TELL YOU,

YOU WERE WRONG.

( LAUGHTER ).

THAT'S DELICIOUS.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

WHAT DID YOU THINK-- WHAT DID

YOU THINK WHEN THAT HAPPENED?

>> YOU KNOW, THE CHURCH AT ITS

BEST --

>> Stephen: YOU MEAN THE

CATHOLIC CHURCH.

>> I'M TALKING ABOUT THE CHURCH,

CAPITAL C.

>> Stephen: YOU ARE A CHURCH,

BUT GO AHEAD.

>> WANTS TO WELCOME ALL OF GOD'S

CHILDREN.

AND WE HAD THIS DISAGREEMENT

ABOUT SOME OF GOD'S CHILDREN WHO

WERE NOT WELCOME, AND THE

EPISCOPAL CHURCH MEANS TO

WELCOME EVERYONE.

AND THOSE WHO COULDN'T QUITE

STOMACH THAT LEFT.

AND WE'RE FEELING LIKE WE'RE

FOLLOWING GOD'S CALL.

>> Stephen: THAT'S ONE OF THE

BEEFS I HAVE WITH YOUR CHURCH IS

YOU-- THERE'S A SIGN ON THE EDGE

OF TOWN THAT SAYS, "THE

EPISCOPAL CHURCH WELCOMES YOU."

>> AND IT HAS NO ASTERISK WITH

EXCEPTIONS?

>> Stephen: NO IT, DOESN'T.

THAT'S ONE THING I DON'T GET IT

ABOUT-- IT DOESN'T SEEM

EXCLUSIVE THAT WAY.

YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T SEEM THAT

COOLAVE CLUB IF ANYBODY COULD BE

PART OF IT,UN WHAT I MEAN?

YOU.

>> THE INTERESTING THING IS

JESUS JUST WASN'T THAT COOL.

JESUS WAS ALWAYS TALKING TO THE

MARGINALIZED, THOSE PUT DOWN BY

SOCIETY.

HE SPENT ALL OF HIS TIME WORKING

WITH THEM, LOVING THEM IN WAITZ

THEY HAD NEVER BEEN LOVED

BEFORE.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT TO TRY TO

BE.

>> Stephen: ANOTHER BUT JESUS

ALSO SAYS--

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY, YOU'VE PLAYED

THE JESUS CARD, WHICH, OF

COURSE, IS A CROWD PLEASER.

>> IT'S A GREAT CARD!

>> Stephen: IT IS A GREAT

CARD BUT I CAN PLAY THE JESUS

CARD, TOO, BECAUSE JESUS SAYS I

HAVE NOT COME TO ELIMINATE A

SINGLE LAW, AND ONE OF THE LAWS

WAS A MAN SHALL NOT LAY WITH

ANOTHER MAN, AND IT'S AN

ABOMINATION AND SHOULD BE PUT TO

DEATH.

WAS GOD HAVING A BAD DAY?

WAS THAT A BRAIN FART?

WHY DID HE PUT THAT DOWN THERE?

>> THE PEOPLE WHO WROTE THAT

WERE HAVING A BAD GAY DAYIN

PERCEIVING GOD'S WILL, AND OVER

TIME IT SEEMS TO ME WE PERCEIVE

GOD'S WILL BETTER AND BETTER.

AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT'S SO

EXCITING TO BE ALIVE RIGHT NOW

IS WE'RE ASKING DID THE CHURCH--

DID THE SYNAGOGUE GET IT WRONG

ABOUT GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL,

AND TRANSGENDER PEOPLE?

I THINK THE ANSWER IS YES.

( APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: LET'S TALK A

LITTLE STRAIGHT TALK ABOUT GAY

MARRIAGE HERE, OKAY?

( LAUGHTER )

>> YOU'RE STRAIGHT, RIGHT?

>> Stephen: AS STRAIGHT AS

THEY COME, BABY DOLL.

I LOVE THE LADIES.

( LAUGHTER ).

NOW, HERE'S MY PROBLEM.

THIS IS WHERE I THINK WE GOT IN

TROUBLE, OKAY.

WE MADE BEING GAY LEGAL.

ALL RIGHT, AND ONCE IT'S LEGAL,

YOU CAN'T KEEP THEM FROM GETTING

MARRIED.

ONCE YOU ACCEPT GAY AS BEING

LEFT-HANDED, YOU KNOW, YOU CAN'T

KEEP LEFT-- YOU CAN'T KEEP

LEFT-HANDED PEOPLE FROM GETTING

MARRIED, AS MUCH AS WE WOULD

LIKE TO.

RIGHT?

>> AND THAT'S GREAT, RIGHT?

>> Stephen: IS IT RAY CHOICE?

THAT'S MY QUESTION.

IS IT LIKE BEING LEFT HANDED,

BEING GAY?

>> IT'S A LOT LIKE BEING

LEFT-HANDED.

THAT IS TO SAY-- IT'S PROBABLY

SOME COMBINATION OF GENETICS AND

BEHAVIORAL STUFF, BUT THE POINT

OF THE MATTER IS, BY THREE YEARS

OLD, SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS SET.

SO IT'S NOT A CHOICE IN ANY

REASONABLE SENSE OF THE WORD.

AND --

>> Stephen: IS BEING

EPISCOPALIAN A CHOICE?

>> YOU KNOW, IT IS ONE OF THE

BEST CHOICES IN THE HISTORY OF

THE WORLD.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> YEAH, IT'S LIKE-- IT'S LIKE--

( LAUGHTER )

IT'S LIKE ADVANCED PLACEMENT

RELIGION.

( LAUGHTER ).

( APPLAUSE )

IT'S FOR THINKING PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: AS I SAID THERE

WAS A SCHISM IN THE EPISCOPAL

CLUTCH AND SOME MODIDN'T WANT TO

ACCEPT GAY OR LESBIAN BISHOPS OR

FEMALE BISHOPS TRIED TO JOIN

WITH THE ANGLICAN CHURCH IN

AFRICA, ACTUALLY.

NOW THAT YOU'VE BEEN A BASQUE BISHOP

FOR HOW MANY YEARS--

>> 10 YEAR.

>> Stephen: IS IT GETTING

BETTER, ARE THEY UNSCHISMING?

ARE THEY SCHISMING BACK OR DID

THEY CALL NO BACK?

>> A LOT ARE COMING BACK AND

THEY WOULD BE WELCOME BACK ANY

MINUTE OF ANY DAY, AND IT'S

GOING BETTER WITH THE AFRICANS.

THEIR CONTEXT IS TOW DIFFERENT

THAN OURSELVES.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU COME OUT AS GAY

THERE YOU CAN BE ARRESTED AND IN

SOME PLACES PUT TO DEATH.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET THE

NUMBERS OF PEOPLE LIKE WE HAVE

IN AMERICA WHO HAS COME OUT.

EVERYBODY NOW KNOWS SOMEONE GAY.

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THIS ISSUE A

FACE COMES UP OR A RELATIONSHIP

COMES UP.

AND YOU'RE JUST NOT WILLING TO

BELIEVE THE AWFUL THINS SAID

ABOUT US.

>> Stephen: I HOPE YOU

HAVEN'T THOUGHT I SAID ANY AWFUL

THINGS ABOUT YOU TONIGHT OTHER

THAN YOU'RE PART OF A HERETICAL

RELIGION THAT WILL GET YOU SENT

TO HELL, BUT THAT'S JUST IN MY

MANUAL.

>> AND PROUD OF IT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

WELL, THANK YOU, BISHOP.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

ME.

RESERVE GENE ROBINSON.

THE BOOK IS "GOD BELIEVES IN

LOVE."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

WE

Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL

Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH

access.wgbh.org

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: THAT'S IF FOR THE

RESPECT, EVERYBODY.

BEFORE WE GO, I WOULD LIKE TO

WELCOME A NEW MEMBER OF THE

COLBERT NATION, SAWYER MATHESON,

THE BABY SON OF ONE OF MY

EDITORS, ADD DREW.

I BELIEVE THE LABOR WAS WAS 14

HOURS BUT HE CUT IT DOWN TO A

TIGHT FOUR.

WELCOME TO THE PLANET, SAWYER.

I WISH YOU A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE

OF TRICKING OTHER PEOPLE INTO

DOING YOUR WORK.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

AND TO THE WHOLE MATHIESON

FAMILY, CONGRATULATIONS.

ENJOY GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER

HAVE A SKYPE.

ANDREW, YOU NEED YOU BACK

TOMORROW.

( LAUGHTER )

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