October 09, 2013 - Tom Hanks

  • Episode: 10007
  • (0)

Truckers organize "Ride for the Constitution," and Tom Hanks talks about Somali pirates.

>> Stephen: TONIGHT, DID ACONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE VIOLATE

ELECTION LAWS?

EVEN MORE SHOCKING, WE HAVEELECTION LAWS?

(LAUGHTER)THEN, TWITTER PREPARES FOR ITS

I.P.O. HASHTAG: I DON'T KNOWWHAT AN I.P.O. IS.

(LAUGHTER)MY GUEST TOM HANKS STARS IN THE

NEW FILM "CAPTAIN PHILLIPS."

HE'S A HERO WHO SAVES THE DAYUSING A PARTICULAR TYPE OF

SCREWDRIVER.

THE CONGRESSIONAL BUSINESSCENTER IS STILL OPEN DURING THE

SHUTDOWN.

WOW!

IT IS REALLY HARD TO GET OUT OFA GYM MEMBERSHIP.

>> Stephen: HEY!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")WHOO!

WHOO!

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT,"EVERYBODY!

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US INHERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND THE

WORLD.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, AS YOU KNOW IT IS DAY

NINE OF THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWNAND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: NO

NEWS IS GOOD NEWS -- SO -- GOODNEWS.

(LAUGHTER)YESTERDAY OBAMA ACTUALLY HELD

ANOTHER HOUR-LONG PRESSCONFERENCE TO SAY ONCE AGAIN HE

WON'T NEGOTIATE.

SO SPEAKER JOHN BOEHNER HAD HISOWN PRESS CONFERENCE.

>> THE CENTRAL ARGUMENT IS THIS:ARE WE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND

HAVE A CONVERSATION OR AREN'TWE?

THERE'S NO REASON TO MAKE ITMORE DIFFICULT TO BRING PEOPLE

TO THE TABLE.

THERE'S NO PWOUPB REIS HERE.

THERE'S NOTHING ON THE TABLE,THERE'S NOTHING OFF THE TABLE.

>> Stephen: THAT IS A LEADERWITH A CLEAR GOAL!

"I WANT A TABLE!"(LAUGHTER)

BUT -- BUT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT WHILE THERE'S BEEN NO

MOVEMENT IN D.C., THERE ISN'TMOVEMENT TOWARDS D.C.

>> ANGRY TRUCKERS HEADED TOWASHINGTON, D.C. AS PART OF A

THREE-DAY PROTEST CALLED "THETRUCKERS' RIDE FOR THE

CONSTITUTION."

IT'S EXPECTED TO TIE UP THREELANES OF TRAFFIC AROUND I-495

AROUND THE NATION'S CAPITAL.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT,TRUCKERS ARE PLEDGING TO DRIVE

AROUND THE BELTWAY FOR THREEDAYS IN WHAT THEY'RE CALLED

"RIDE FOR THE CONSTITUTION."

AND THEN, PRESUMABLY, POPDEXEDRINE FOR THE DECLARATION OF

INDEPENDENCE.

(LAUGHTER)AND PEE INTO GATORADE BOTTLES

FOR THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NOW, FOLKS, I OF ALL THE PEOPLE

OUT THERE I GET THESE GUYSBECAUSE THEY GET ME!

IN FACT, THEY'VE GOT ME ON THEIRWEB SITE.

(LAUGHTER)THEY'RE USING THIS ACTUAL

PAINTING CALLED "STEPHEN COLBERTATOP AN EAGLE" BY ARTIST JASON

HEUSER.

I BELIEVE IT'S PAINT BY NUMBERAND THAT NUMBER U.S.A. NUMBER

ONE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?

WELL, AS EXPLAINED BY RIDE FORTHE CONSTITUTION'S LEADER

COUNTRY ZINGER ZEEDA ANDREWS,THEY HAVE A SIMPLE EASILY

ATTAINED GOAL.

>> UM, WE -- WHAT WE WANT IS WEWANT THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES REMOVED FROM OFFICE.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

PRESIDENT OBAMA WILL BE SOIMMOBILIZED BY THE D.C. TRAFFIC

JAM THAT HE WILL HAVE NO CHOICEBUT TO RESIGN.

I MEAN, REALLY!

WHAT OPTION DOES HE HAVE?

FLY OVER IT IN SOME KIND OFGYROSCOPIC SKY-CAR?

(LAUGHTER)MARK MY WORDS -- MARK MY WORDS,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

OR BETTER YET, MARK THE WORDS OFSPOKES TRUCKER PETER SANTILLI.

>> PUT A HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLEOUT ON THE ROAD WITH TRUCK

DRIVERS LAWFULLY,CONSTITUTIONALLY, THERE WILL BE

LITERALLY THE LARGEST TRAFFICJAM IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND AS

FAR AS WE'RE CONCERNED.

IT'S GOT THAT POTENTIAL.

>> YOU HEARD THEM SAY A HUNDREDMILLION.

THEY'RE GOING TO START SMALLER.

THEY'RE GOING TO START WITH3,000 ARRIVING IN D.C. ON FRIDAY

MORNING.

>> Stephen: YEAH, 3,000 FRIDAYMORNING.

BY FRIDAY AFTERNOON A HUNDREDMILLION.

(LAUGHTER)YOU'VE GOT TO RAMP UP.

FOLKS, LET ME GET OUT MY OLDC.B. RADIO AND PUT MY EARS ON.

(LAUGHTER)ALL RIGHT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ALL RIGHT, BREAKER BREAKER 1-9,

THIS IS BIG DADDY TRUCK NUTSHERE COME ON BACK.

I WANT EVERY FREIGHT SHAKER,COAL BUCKET AND WIGGLE WAGON

THROUGHOUT TO ROLL ON BULL CITYFRIDAY FOR A THREE-LANE BRAKE

CHECK UNTIL WE DELIVER ATRUCKLOAD OF KENYA BACK TO HIS

HOME 1020.

ALSO DING-DONG ON THE FLIPPITYFLOP DROP TWO OVER EASY AND PUT

SOME SEA COVERS ON TOAD THE WETSPROCKET.

THIS IS BIG DADDY TRUCK NUTSOVER AND OUT, COME ON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NATION, I SALUTE THESE TRUCKERS

FOR TAKING THE EXTRA STEP TOMAKE CONGRESSIONAL GRIDLOCK INTO

ACTUAL GRIDLOCK.

(LAUGHTER)AND I BELIEVE THAT WE CAN ALL

FOLLOW IN THEIR MUD FLAPS.

JUST AS THEY ARE, DO WHAT YOU DOBUT DO IN THE A WAY THAT

INCONVENIENCES THOUSANDS OFOTHERS.

(LAUGHTER)AND TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE THINGS

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NATION, YOU WATCH THIS SHOW, YOU

KNOW I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE FANOF THE TWITTER.

FROM ITS HUMBLE BEGINNINGS AS APLACE TO PROMOTE ASHTON

KUTCHER'S TRUCKER HAT TO ITSCURRENT GLOBAL STATURE AS A

PLACE TO PROMOTE ASHTONKUTCHER'S FACIAL HAIR.

I EVEN RECEIVED THE FIRST-EVERGOLDEN TWEET FROM TWITTER

FOUNDER BIZ STONE FOR THE MOSTRETWEETED TWEET OF 2010.

IN YOUR FACE!

IN YOUR FACE DALAI LAMA!

WHAT WAS YOUR BEST TWEET FROM2010?

"IN HUMAN RELATIONS, COMPASSIONCONTRIBUTES TO PROMOTING PEACE

AND HARMONY."

HASHTAG LOSER.

(LAUGHTER)THAT'S WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT

THE LATEST TWITTER NEWS.

>> TWITTER CAUSING THE WHOLEWORLD TOLL GO ATWITTER.

WALL STREET ABUZZ, THE TECHWORLD ABUZZ ABOUT ITS ONE

BILLION DOLLAR I.P.O. PLAN.

>> THE MOST ANTICIPATED I.P.O.

OF THE YEAR.

>> THE I.P.O. IS EXPECTED TO BETHE MOST DESIRABLE SINCE

FACEBOOK'S DEBUT LAST MAY.

>> Stephen: YES!

AND I MADE $2 MILLION ONFACEBOOK BY NOT INVESTING $3

MILLION IN FACEBOOK.

(LAUGHTER)AND, FOLKS, THIS I.P.O. IS GOING

TO BE HUGE.

AS ONE OF THE WORLD'S TOPTWEETMEN, I AM SURE TO RAKE IN

THE CASH BECAUSE I HAVE OVERFIVE MILLION FOLLOWERS, SEVERAL

OF WHICH ARE NOT UKRAINIAN PORNBOTS.

(LAUGHTER)SO IF YOU JUST TAKE THOSE FIVE

MILLION FOLLOWERS THAT I'VE GOT,OKAY, AND YOU DIVIDE THAT BY A

BILLION DOLLAR I.P.O., THENMULTIPLY THAT BY THE AMOUNT OF I

GET PAID PER TWEET, I AM SET TOLINE MY POCKETS WITH --

(WHISTLES)LET'S JUST SAY IT'S A LOT OF

SERE ROES.

(LAUGHTER)SO, FOLKS, IT'S NO WONDER ALL

THE SMART MONEY ON WALL STREETIS ON TWITTER BECAUSE SO IS THE

DUMB MONEY.

>> LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE ISCASHING IN ON TWITTER'S I.P.O.

-- EVEN OTHER COMPANIES.

STOCK IN ELECTRONICS RETAILERTWEETER SOARED MORE THAN 1,500%

ON FRIDAY.

APPARENTLY SOME INVESTORS BOUGHTTHE SHARES OF THAT COMPANY

THINKING THEY WERE BUYINGTWITTER.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: MEANING THEINVESTORS IN TWEETER FLUSHED ALL

THEIR MONEY DOWN THE SHEETER.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)NOW, FOLKS, ALL THIS HEAT ON

TWITTER IS BECAUSE IT'S WHEREALL THE HIPPEST, HAPPENINGEST

TRENDSETTERS GO TO SPEAK THEIRMINDS.

I'M TALKING, OF COURSE, ABOUTJESUS CHRIST.

(LAUGHTER)YOU SEE, IN AN ATTEMPT TO APPEAL

TO THE YOUNG LINGS VATICANCARDINAL AND PRESIDENT OF THE

PONTIFICAL COUNCIL FOR CULTUREGIANFRANCO RAVASI SAID "CHRIST

USED TWEETSES WITH EVERYONE ELSEWITH PHRASES MADE UP OF 45

CHARACTERS SUCH AS LOVE ONEANOTHER."

OF COURSE JESUS TWEETED LUV1ANTHR #YOLF #OMM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU SEE?

YOU YOUNG PEOPLE -- YOUNG FOLKS,GIOVANNI RIBISI HERE IS JUST

SAYING THAT JESUS IS INTO THESAME COOL THINGS YOU ARE.

HE INVENTED TWITTER BECAUSE HESPOKE IN SHORT SENTENCES JUST

LIKE EVE WAS THE FIRST TO PLAYFRUIT NINJA.

(LAUGHTER)BUT REMEMBER, JESUS NEVER MADE

ANY MONEY SO HE AND TWITTER HAVETHE EXACT SAME BUSINESS MODEL.

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen:(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY, THANKSSO MUCH!

FOLKS, YOU KNOW THE MIDTERMELECTIONS ARE OVER A YEAR AWAY

BUT CANDIDATES ARE ALREADY OUTTHERE CAMPAIGNING FOR JOBS IN A

GOVERNMENT THAT NO LONGEREXISTS.

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, THIS IS A SAD TIME FOR ME

BECAUSE MY FAVORITEREPRESENTATIVE MINNESOTA

CONGRESSWOMAN AND PIANO TEACHERWHO SITS TO CLOSE TO YOU MICHELE

BACHMANN --(LAUGHTER).

-- IS NOT RUNNING FORREELECTION.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)SHE WILL BE MISSED, I KNOW,

SHE'S A TRUE CONSERVATIVE WITH AVISION OF OUR COUNTRY'S FUTURE.

OR POSSIBLE OF A COAT RACK OR ABIRD.

I COULD NEVER TELL WHAT SHE WASLOOKING AT.

FORTUNATELY, FOLKS, THERE'S ACANDIDATE OUT THERE FOR HER SEAT

WHO MAY BE ABLE TO FILL HERSHOES.

TOM EMMER.

HE'S PRO-LIFE, PRO-FAMILY,PROSTATE'S RIGHTS AND AS YOU CAN

SEE FROM THIS AD, DEFINITELYPRO-BUSINESS.

>> WHEN THE STORM SETTLES,THERE'S ONLY ONE CLEAR CHOICE.

INTEGRITY EXTERIORS ANDREMODELERS.

>> MY NAME IS TOM EMMER AND I'MRUNNING FOR CONGRESS IN

MINNESOTA'S SIXTH CONGRESSIONALDISTRICT.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TODO REMODELING, SIDING, OR

GENERAL CONSTRUCTION,RESIDENTIAL OR COMMERCIAL, I CAN

TELL YOU WITHOUT QUALIFICATIONYOU NEED TO CALL THE FOLKS AT

INTEGRITY EXTERIORS ANDREMODELERS.

THEY'RE THE BEST.

>> Stephen: WOW!

(LAUGHTER)I DON'T KNOW WHAT TOM EMMER'S

PLATFORM IS BUT I KNOW WHO'SGOING TO BUILD IT.

(LAUGHTER)NOW WHY -- I DON'T UNDERSTAND --

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE THINK OFCOMBINING ADS FOR POLITICIANS

WITH COMMERCIAL ENDORSEMENTSYEARS AGO?

POSSIBLY BECAUSE IT'S KIND OFEXTREMELY ILLEGAL.

(LAUGHTER)ACCORDING TO THE CAMPAIGN LEGAL

CENTER, A COMMERCIAL THAT RUNSAS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT ON

TELEVISION WILL BE A CLEARVIOLATION OF FEDERAL ELECTION

LAW AND ILLEGAL CORPORATEIN-KIND CONTRIBUTION TO A

CANDIDATE FOR A FEDERAL OFFICEIN THE FORM OF A COORDINATED AD.

COORDINATED?

I DON'T KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)FIRST OF ALL, HE'S NOT TELLING

YOU TO VOTE FOR HIM.

HE'S JUST TELLING YOU TO CALLINTEGRITY REMODELERS.

>> YOU NEED TO CALL THE FOLKSWITH INTEGRITY EXTERIORS AND

REMODELERS.

>> Stephen: AND THEN HE NEVERGIVES YOU THE PHONE NUMBER.

(LAUGHTER)DOES THAT SOUND COORDINATED TO

YOU?

AND, FOLKS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU,THIS SO-CALLED CONTROVERSY IS

CLEARLY JUST ANOTHER CONSPIRACYBY BIG LIBERAL MEDIA.

THIS TIME IN THE FORM OFSMALL-TOWN MINNESOTA BLOGGER

SALLY JO SORENSEN WHO SPOTTEDTHE AD DURING A LOCAL BACKYARD

WRESTLING SHOW CALLED "SUNDAYSHOCK WAVE."

(LAUGHTER)BY THE WAY, IF YOU ARE BACKYARD

WRESTLING AND YOUR HEAD ISDRIVEN THROUGH THE SIDE OF THE

HOUSE, THERE IS NO BETTERCOMPANY TO FIX IT THAN INTEGRITY

EXTERIORS AND REMODELING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BESIDES, EMMER'S CAMPAIGN HAD A

PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATIONSAYING IT WAS NOT TOM'S

INTENTION FOR THIS TESTIMONIALTO BE USED IN A BROADCAST

CAPACITY OR ADVERTISEMENT FORTHE CAMPAIGN.

YES, HE WAS JUST INNOCENTLYSTANDING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA

UNDER THE LIGHTS WEARING AMICROPHONE THINKING HE WAS DOING

SOMETHING MORE REPUTABLE, LIKEPORN!

UNINTENTIONAL ADVERTISINGHAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

IN FACT, I REMEMBER THIS ONETIME --

>> HEY, MR. COLBERT.

>> Stephen: HEY, BRENDAN, NOWWAS THE BIG GAME?

>> NOT SO GOOD, MR. COLBERT, IKIND OF RAN OUT OF ENERGY.

>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE YOUNEED TO DRINK SOME MORE SUNNY D.

(LAUGHTER)SUNNY D IS PACKED WITH VITAMINS

AND MINERALS AND THE BOLDINTENSE TASTE KIDS JUST LOVE.

>> RADICAL!

>> Stephen: HEY, YOU KNOW WHOELSE DRINKS SUNNY D?

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRISCHRISTIE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, CHRIS?

>> EVERYDAY I HOPE YOU CAN SEEHOW MUCH I LOVE BEING THE

GOVERNOR OF THE STATE WHERE IWAS BORN AND RAISED.

(LAUGHTER)>> I LOVE YOU, MR. COLBERT.

>> Stephen: I KNOW.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SO HATS OFF TO MR. TOM EMMER FOR

SHOWING US A BRAND NEW WAY TOCROSS-PROMOTE CANDIDATES AND

PRODUCTS.

THANKS TO THIS AD, I WILLFOREVER ASSOCIATE YOUR CAMPAIGN

WITH THINGS THAT NEED MAJORRENOVATION.

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS TOM HANKS.

PLEASE WELCOME TOM HANKS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, TOM!

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, THANKSFOR COMING BACK.

ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE YOU IN THEHOUSE.

>> ALWAYS GOOD TO BE HERE,STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: TOM, BEFORE WE GETSTARTED, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT

YOUR NEW MOVIE "CAPTAINPHILLIPS."

>> OKAY.

>> YOU HAD A PLAN, CAPTAIN, YOUHAD A PLAN TO TAKE MY SHIP AND

THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT SO YOURBUDDY COULD TAKE ME AND MAKE A

RUN TO SOMALIA?

YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE UP.

YOU'VE GOT TO STOP.

>> I CAN'T STOP!

>> THE NAVY IS NOT GOING TO LETYOU WIN.

THEY CAN'T LET YOU WIN.

THEY WOULD RATHER SINK THIS BOATTHAN LET YOU GET ME BACK TO

SOMALIA.

IT'S OVER!

>> I COME TOO FAR.

I CAN'T GIVE UP.

NO.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NOW, WHICH ONE WERE YOU IN THAT

SCENE?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)BECAUSE YOU'RE THAT GOOD.

>> I WAS THE ONE STEERING THELIFEBOAT.

LIKE THIS THROUGHOUT.

>> Stephen: YOU GREW A GOATEEFOR THIS FILM.

>> IS THAT A GOATEE?

IT IS A VAN DYKE?

>> Stephen: IT COULD BE.

>> I'M NOT SURE WHAT IT IS.

>> Stephen: YOU LOOK LIKE YOUREVIL TWIN A LITTLE BIT.

ARE YOU A GOOD GUY OR BAD GUY INTHIS MOVIE?

>> I'LL LEAVE THAT FOR THESROBGS POP LIE TO DECIDE.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

IT'S POSSIBLE YOU'RE A BAD GUYIN THE MOVIE?

>> IS IT A DERIG GOURE THAT IFYOU HAVE A GOATEE YOU HAVE BEEN

CLONED AND YOU ARE A LESSERVERSION OF YOURSELF AND ARE, IN

FACT, THE EVIL SPOT WITH A MOREDEFINED CHIN AND A LITTLE BETTER

JAW MUSCLE?

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOUGROW ONE OF THOSE THINGS.

>> Stephen: IT DOES SOMETHINGTO YOUR MUSCLES?

IT TOOK MUSCLES FOR YOU TO GROWA BEARD?

(LAUGHTER)>> LISTEN, I HAD TO DYE THOSE

HAIRS GRAY FOR SO MANY HOURSTHAT I DON'T EVEN --

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: NOW, THIS MOVIE ISABOUT PIRATES.

>> HIJACKERS, PIRATES, YES.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THEDIFFERENCE?

>> PIRATES HAVE TRICORNER HATS.

(LAUGHTER)AND MUCH GOOFIER SHIRTS.

>> Stephen: FROM WHAT I'VESEEN IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR JOHNNY

DEPP PIRATE.

>> LITTLE DIFFERENT.

>> Stephen: THESE ARE SOMALIPIRATES.

>> THESE ARE SOMALI ROBBERS.

THESE ARE PEOPLE THAT ARE GOINGTO STEAL THE SHIP SO THEY CAN

GET MONEY, BECOME RICH, GETCHICKS, BUY CARS AND NOT BE

KILLED BY THE WAR LORDS THAT AREESSENTIALLY FORCING THEM TO DO

THIS FOR A LIVING.

>> Stephen: NOW DOES THISMOVIE HAVE A SOCIAL CONSCIENCE,

A LOT OF MOVIES YOU'VE DONE--ESPECIALLY BIG OSCAR WINNERS--

HAVE BEEN TRYING TO CHANGEPEOPLE'S HEARTS AND MINDS.

ANY CHANCES THIS GOING TO CHANGETHE HEARTS AND MINDS OF PEOPLE

IN SHOL YA ABOUT PIRATING?

>> I THINK FOR THE MUSICALNUMBERS.

THROUGH SOME OF THE SONGS ANDDANCES IT MIGHT.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: REALLY?

♪ HI DIDLLEY DEE >> PAUL GREEN GRASS, "UNITED 93"

THE BOURNE FILMS "BLOODY SUNDAY"HE GOES OFF AND CAPTURED AN

ASPECT OF SOMALIA THAT MIGHT NOTBE THE STANDARD VERSION OF WHAT

WE WOULD LIKE TO ASSUME WOULD BEVERY EASY BAD GUYS TO HATE.

IT'S A WAR-TORN PLACE OFCORRUPTION AND HOPELESSNESS AND

WHAT IS MORE DANGEROUS THAN AYOUNG MAN WITH A GUN AND WITH

NOTHING TO LOSE?

THAT'S MORE OR LESS THE STATUREOF THE FOUR GUYS THAT HIJACKED

THIS SHIP.

>> Stephen: YOU ACTUALLY SHOTTHIS ON --

>> ON FILM.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: ON FILM.

GOOD.

>> YES, WE DID, SIR.

>> Stephen: (LAUGHS)A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE DOING MOVIES

WITH JUST SKETCH ARTISTS.

BUT YOU DID IT ON ONE OF THE BIGPHAERSING SHIPS, RIGHT?

>> OFF OF MALTA IN THEMEDITERRANEAN SEA.

>> LIKE 650 FOOT VESSELS.

>> I THINK IT'S LIKE 533 BUTSTACKED WITH ALL THE CARGO, AND

THEY HAD TO DO THATSPECIFICALLY.

>> Stephen: THESE GUYS JUSTCOME OUT AND ESSENTIALLY LIKE A

BOSTON WHALER.

>> THIS IS INTERESTING BECAUSEIT HAD NEVER HAPPENED PRIOR TO

2009 BECAUSE THE SHIPS ARE --CAN GO FAR, RELATIVELY FAST, AND

HAVE VERY HIGH HULLS ANDPIRATES, HIJACKERS, COULD NOT

GET ON BOARD EXCEPT FOR THESEGUYS WITH THE WENT TO HOME DEPOT

AND BOUGHT A LADDER.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: REALLY?

THEY HAVE ACHIEVED LADDERTECHNOLOGY IN SOMALIA?

>> THEY HAVE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: BUT HERE'S WHAT IDON'T UNDERSTAND IS THAT YOU

GUYS -- THE ORIGINAL CAPTAIN,CAPTAIN PHILLIPS, THEY USED

HOSES TO TRY TO -- LIKELITERALLY LIKE FIRE HOSES TO

BLOW THEM OFF.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: THIS IS ANENORMOUS BOAT WITH BILLIONS OF

DOLLARS WORTH OF CARGO.

>> PEANUTS, TENNIS SHOES, B.M.W.

s, T.V.s.

.>> Stephen: THEY CAN'T AFFORDA SINGLE GUN?

THERE ARE NO GUNS ON THE SHIP.

THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED.

THEY WEREN'T ALLOWED AT THE TIMEBY INTERNATIONAL LAW.

YOU CANNOT BRING FIREARMS INTOAN INTERNATIONAL PORT ON A

COMMERCIAL CARGO VESSEL.

>> Stephen: THERE'S NO SECONDAMENDMENT AT SEA.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

>> LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY, THEREIS IN SOMALIA WHERE EVERYBODY

HAS A GUN.

>> Stephen: AS THE STAR OF THEMOVIE, HOW LONG DID YOU SPEND

GOING OUT TO SEA ON THIS SHIP?

>> EVERYDAY.

>> Stephen: STPHOUPBG.

>> OH, FROM DAWN TO DUSK.

>> Stephen: HOW MANY DAYS?

(LAUGHTER)IS THERE SOME SECRET HERE YOU

DON'T WANT ME TO SNOW THERE'S ATWO-MONTH GAP IN YOUR LIFE YOU

DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUTON MALTA.

>> I'M GONNA SAY TWO MONTHS, YOUKNOW.

BETTER PART OF TEN WEEKS.

>> Stephen: A GUY LIKE YOU ATTHIS POINT, CAN'T YOU GO TO SOME

BIG GREEN SOUND STAGE AND POINTAT TENNIS BALLS GLUED TO THE

WALL AND SAY "LOOK, PIRATES,THEY'RE COMING!"

>> IN FACT, THERE'S A CD-ROM OFALL THE INFORMATION YOU NEED.

YOU ENTER INTO THE CODE AND MYHANDS WILL MOVE ANY WAY YOU WANT

ME TO, MY EYES WITH WELL YOUHAVE WITH TEARS AT THE PUNCH OF

A BUTTON.

>> Stephen: CAN I GET THAT?

(LAUGHTER)I'VE GOT SOME MOVIES I'D LIKE TO

PUT TOM HANKS IN.

WOULD YOU RATHER DO SOMETHINGFICTION OR NONFICTION?

I WAS WATCHING IT WITH SOMEBODYWHO DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS ALE A

REAL STORY.

>> I'D LIKE -- I'VE ALWAYS BEENINTERESTED IN NONFICTION.

I STARTED READING IT VERY YOUNGAND I THOUGHT WHAT REALLY

HAPPENED BY AND LARGE IS MOREINTERESTING THAN ANYTHING YOU

CAN SAY.

EVEN, LIKE, READING LIKE FICTIONBOOKS BUT SET IN NONFICTION

AREAS LIKE "IN COLD BLOOD" ORLEON YOU ARE REUS NOVELS.

>> Stephen: THE DA VINCICODE."

RIPPED RIGHT OUT OF THE DAY'SREALITIES.

YOU TAKE A MAP AROUND, YOU'VEGOT DA VINCI CODE.

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED.

>> Stephen: WHEN YOU GO TOROME DO PEOPLE IN CHURCHES GO

"PLEASE GET OUT"?

(LAUGHTER)WELL, TOM, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

JOINING ME.

TOM HANKS, THE MOVIE IS "CAPTAINPHILLIPS."

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S ITFOR "THE REPORT," EVERYBODY.

Loading...