April 23, 2014 - John Calipari

  • Episode: 10093
  • (0)

Canada's middle class surges, college athletes get unlimited snacks, a senator defends cockfighting, America faces a lime shortage, and John Calipari talks "Players First."

>> Stephen: TONIGHT A NEWBENEFIT FOR COLLEGE ATHLETES

FOR ONE DAY ONLY, WE'REPUTTING AN I IN TEAM.

THEN IS AMERICA RUNNING OUTOF A FAVORITE FOOD?

OR DID WE JUST LOSE IT INOUR FOLDS.

AND MY GUEST IS KENTUCKYBASKETBALL COACH JOHN

CALIPARI, DAMN, I HAD THECOACH FROM DUKE IN MY

BRACKET.

MARKET ANALYSTS SAY THATiPAD FEVER IS COOLING.

MEANWHILE KINDLE DYSENTERYSTILL RUNS RAMPANT.

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS "THE COLBERT

REPORT."

>> Stephen: HELL YEA!, BOOM,RIGHT THERE, OH YEAH,

WELCOME TO THE REPORT,EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD TO

HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

PLEASE, PLEASE, SIT DOWN,FOLKS, IN HERE AND IF

ANYBODY AT HOME IS STANDINGUP TAKE A SQUAT, FOLKS, YOU

WATCH THIS SHOW.

YOU KNOW I LOVE NUMBEREDLISTS.

ONE, TWO, THREE.

I COULD GO ON.

THE MAIN REASON I LOVE THEMIS BECAUSE AMERICA IS ALWAYS

AT THE TOP.

WE ARE NUMBER ONE INBILLIONAIRES, WORKER

PRODUCTIVITY, AND PERCENTAGEOF POPULATION BEHIND BARS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: YES.

HELL YEAH!

EAT THAT RWANDA.

BUT SADLY I MAY BE FALLINGOUT OF LOVE WITH LISTS.

HERE'S THE NUMBER ONE REASONWHY.

>> HELLO, CANADA, YOU ARENUMBER ONE.

THAT'S THE FINDING AT A NEWREPORT CANADA'S MIDDLE CLASS

PASSING AMERICA.

FOR THE FIRST TIME AS THEMOST AFFLUENT IN THE WORLD.

>> IN CANADA AVERAGE INCOMEWORKERS HAVE ENJOYED A

NEARLY 20% RAISE SINCE 2000.

BUT HERE IN THE U.S. MIDDLECLASS WORKERS WAGES HAVE

BEEN VIRTUALLY FLAT FOR 14YEARS.

>> THE U.S. HAS NOW BEENSURPASSED BY THE MIDDLE

CLASS IN CANADA.

>> YES, CANADA'S MIDDLECLASS IS BEATING OURS.

THEIR WORKERS ARE BRINGINGHOME MORE OF THE BACON.

AND WORSE, IT'S THAT ROUND[BLEEP]

(LAUGHTER)NO LONGER WILL PEOPLE AROUND

THE WORLD ASPIRE TO THEAMERICAN DREAM OF A HOUSE, A

WHITE PICKET FENCE, 2.5 KIDS.

NO, NOW IT'S THE CANADIANDREAM OF A BEAVER DAM, A

MAPLE SYRUP MOAT AND 2.5MEMBERS OF RUSH.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUTI DON'T WANT TO TEACH GEDDY

LEE TO PLAY CATCH.

HOW IS CANADA'S MIDDLE CLASSDOING SO WELL?

I MEAN THEY'VE GOTSOCIALIZED MEDICINE,

SUBSIDIZED CHILD CARE ANDHIGH TAXES FOR THE RICH.

I MEAN IT POLITELY BOGGLESTHE MIND.

(LAUGHTER)I THINK THERE ARE ONLY TWO

POSSIBLE REASONS WHY WE AREFALLING BEHIND THE ICE HOLES.

ONE, ONE POSSIBLE REASON,AMERICA'S MIDDLE CLASS IS

LAZY.

OR TWO, AMERICA DOESN'T HAVEENOUGH TAX CUTS FOR THE

WEALTHY.

I'M GOING TO GO WITH THATONE, OKAY.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT, FOLKS.

HOW CAN WE RICH TRICKLEDOWN PROSPERITY TO EVERYONE

ELSE UNLESS WE HAVE ALL THEMONEY FIRST.

OUR CUP MUST FILLETHBEFORE IT RUNNETH OVER.

CLEARLY CONGRETH HATH ESTIMATETH THE SIZE OF MY

CUPPETH.

BUT I DON'T WANT TO LOSEYOUR FAITH IN SUPPLY-SIDE

ECONOMICS.

BECAUSE THE TOP 1% ARE LIKEA SLOT MACHINE.

WE'RE ALL WARMED UP AND JUSTABOUT TO PAY OFF, OKAY.

JUST KEEP SHOVING IN THOSEQUARTERS.

I DON'T EVEN CARE WHERE YOUPUT THEM.

JUST WARM THEM UP FIRST.

NOW NATION, I'M A DIEHARDSPORTS FAN.

IN THAT IF NONE OF THEDIEHARD MOVIES ARE ON, I

WILL WATCH SPORTS.

THIS IS THE SPORT REPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> NATION, I HAVE WARNED YOU

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> NATION, I HAVE WARNED YOU

ABOUT THE DANGERS OFUNIONIZING COLLEGE SPORTS.

LAST MONTH NORTHWESTERNUNIVERSITY FOOTBALL PLAYERS

WERE ALLOWED TO FORM AUNION.

WHAT IDIOT TAUGHT THEM TOWORK TOGETHER TOWARD A

COMMON GOAL?

AND EVER SINCE COLLEGIATELETS HAVE BEEN GRIPING, LIKE

SHABAZZ NAPIER, STAR POINTGUARD OF THE CHAMPION UCONN

HUSKIES.

>> AT THE END OF THE DAYTHAT DOESN'T COVER

EVERYTHING.

WE DO HAVE HUNGRY NIGHTSTHAT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH

MONEY TO GET FOOD.

I DON'T THINK, YOU KNOW,STUDENT ATHLETES SHOULD GET

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OFDOLLARS.

LIKE I SAID THERE ARE HUNGRYNIGHTS THAT I GO TO BED AND

I'M STARVING.

>> Stephen: OH, THAT ISWRONG.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING GOING TOBED?

YOU SHOULD BE PRACTICING.

YOU GOT TIME TO LAY DOWN,YOU GOT TIME TO LAY UP.

SADLY, FOLKS, THE NCAA HEARDHIS STARVED RAMBLINGS AND

CRUMBLED FASTER THAN ANUNDERFED POINT GUARD.

>> THE NCAA HAS ANNOUNCEDCOLLEGIATE LETS CAN NOW

RECEIVE UNLIMITED MEALS ANDSNACKS.

THE NEW RULE APPLIES TO BOTHSCHOLARSHIP ATHLETES AND

WALK-ONS.

>> Stephen: UNLIMITED MEALSAND SNACKS.

I MEAN WHO DO THESE PLAYERSTHINK THEY ARE, BASKETBALL

FANS?

(LAUGHTER)COLLEGE ATHLETES NEED TO STAY

HUNGRY, IT MOTIVATES THEM TOWIN CHAMPIONSHIPS.

SO THAT DURING THE GATORADEDUMP THEY CAN SUCK

ELECTROLYTES OFF THE COACH'SWINDBREAKER.

AND I KNOW, THE ONLY REASONFOOTBALL PLAYERS STRIVE TO

MAKE THE TOSTITOS BOWL ISOUT OF HOPE IT IS AN ACTUAL

BOWL OF TOSTITOS.

WORST OF ALL, THESE FREESNACKS VIOLATE THE NUMBER

ONE RULE OF SPORTS.

ONLY WINNERS GET ICE CREAM.

LOSERS HAVE THEIR OWN PRIZE,A SILENT CAR RIDE HOME WITH

DAD.

(LAUGHTER)IF YOU'RE SO HUNGRY,

MISTER, EAT THE TENSION.

NEXT UP ON THE SPORT REPORT,COCK-FIGHTING.

FOLKS, I LOVE THE SWEET ANDSOUR SCIENCE, THE SPORT OF

CHICKEN A LA KING.

COCK FIGHTING IS LIKE MIXEDMARTIAL ARTS MEETS KFC'S

MIXED GRILL BUCKET.

UNFORTUNATELY FORCOCKTHUSIASTS LIKE MYSELF,

I HAVE SOME BADCOCK-A-DOODLE NEWS.

BECAUSE THERE'S A NEWANTI-COCK-FIGHTING BILL IN

LOUISIANA THAT HAS STATESENATOR ELBERT GUILLORY

CRYING YOU WILL FOWL SAYINGTHIS BILL IS FOR THE BIRDS

AND IT'S REALLY RUFFLED HISFEATHERS.

DRUM STICKS.

>> THE STATE SENATOR SAYSTHE BILL THREATENS A SPORT

HE CALLS CHICKEN BOXING.

>> SENATOR ELBERT CALLSCHICKEN BOXING A LEGITIMATE

SPORT.

>> GUILLORY SAYS CHICKENBOXING IS SIMILAR TO HUMAN

BOX, THAT THE MATCHES ARENOT FOUGHT TO THE DEATH.

>> Stephen: YES, CHICKENBOXING, IT'S JUST LIKE HUMAN

BOXING EXCEPT WHEN IT'S OVERTHE CHICKENS HAVE BETTER

SHORT-TERM MEMORY.

AND FOLKS, IT IS PERFECTLYSAFE.

SENATORS GUILLORY EXPLAINEDTHAT THE CHICKENS CAN ENGAGE

IN THEIR SPORT WITHOUTHURTING EACH OTHER.

THEY PUT LITTLE BOXINGGLOVES ON THEM AND THEY

FIGHT IN ROUNDS SO THEY CANGET WATER AND COOL OFF.

IF THEY'RE HOT THEY GETWATER AND IF THEY'RE LOSING

THEY GET OLIVE OIL, SALT ANDPEPPER AND A SQUEEZE OF

LEMON.

PLUS CHICKEN BOXING HASSTRICT RULES LIKE EACH

COMBATANT SHALL WEARSTANDARD FOWL SAFETY BOXING

GEAR.

YES, JUST YOUR STANDARD FOWLSAFETY BOXING GEAR.

JUST CHECK THE POULTRYCOUNTER AT THE SPORTS

AUTHORITY.

PERSONALLY I DO HOPE THATINCLUDES A MOUTH GUARD

BECAUSE I HAVE SEEN TOO MANYCHICKENS WITHOUT ANY TEETH.

SADLY, FOLKS, THE LOUISIANASENATE HAS REJECTED THIS

REASONABLE CHICKEN BOXINGAMENDMENT.

BUT I WANT TO SALUTEGUILLORY FOR TRYING TO KEEP

BIG GOVERNMENT OUT OF OURCHICKEN SPORTING EVENTS.

BECAUSE WHERE DOES IT END?

FIRST IT'S COCK-FIGHTING,NOW CHICKEN BOXING, AM I

GOING TO HAVE TO CLOSE MYCHICKEN DOJO?

(LAUGHTER)WHAT'S NEXT, NO MORE POULTRY

JOUSTING?

YOU TELL ME, LOUISIANASENATE, WHAT MANNER OF

CHICKEN COMBAT SHALL YOURLAW ALLOW?

JUST TELL US THE WAY WE CANHAVE CHICKENS ATTACK EACH

OTHER FOR OUR AMUSEMENT ANDWE WILL DO IT.

AND DON'T YOU DARE SAYCHICKEN NASCAR.

BECAUSE SURE THEY CAN WORKTHE GAS PEDAL BUT THEY DON'T

KNOW HOW TO SHIFT ANDTHEY'RE ALWAYS BURNING OUT

THE TRANSMISSION.

SO PLEASE, I BEG YOU,LEGALIZE CHICKEN BOXING.

AND MAKE NO MISTAKE THIS ISNOT ABOUT HUMANS WATCHING

BIRDS PUMMEL EACH OTHER.

IT'S ABOUT HELPING THECHICKENS.

BOXING GIVES THEM A PATH INLIFE, A ONE WAY TICKET OUT

OF PALOOKAVILLE.

SO THAT NONE OF THEM HAS TOTURN TO THEIR OLDER BROTHER

ONE DAY AND SAY IT WAS YOU,CHARLIE.

I COULD HAVE HAD CLASS.

I COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY.

I COULD HAVE BEEN-- ACHICKEN TENDER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOMEBACK, EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

NATION, YOU KNOW, I AM NOTONE USUALLY TO GET WORKED UP

ABOUT DWINDLING RESOURCESBECAUSE I'M ADAPTABLE.

IF WE GET LOW ON SPOTTEDOWLS I'LL START MAKING MY

SANDWICHES WITH SNOWYEGRITS.

I MEAN ONCE THEY'RE BREADEDTHEY ALL TASTE LIKE PANDA.

BUT AMERICA IS NOW FACING ADEVASTATING SHORTAGE OF ONE

VITAL NATURAL RESOURCE.

>> THERE IS A MAJOR LIMESHORTAGE.

>> WE HAVE A LIME SHORTAGEON OUR HANDS.

>> LIME SHORTAGE.

>> LIME SHORTAGE.

>> LIME SHORTAGE.

>> Stephen: LIME SHORTAGE!

THAT MEANS NO MORE MARGARITAS,NO MOJITOS, THANKFULLY OUR

BUD LITE LIME IS SAFEBECAUSE IT IS FLAVORED WITH

GRADE PUG-INS.

EVEN WORSE-- DAMN WE SHOULDHAVE ONE.

EVEN WORSE, WE'LL HAVE TOFIND A NEW SOURCE OF TINY

CAT HELMETS.

APPARENTLY, APPARENTLY THEREIS A BACTERIA DISEASE

KILLING CITRUS TREES CALLEDHUONGLONBING WHICH TO BE

ABSOLUTELY CLEAR IS NOT THENAME OF MY NEW ASIAN

CHARACTER.

NO HASHTAGS.

BUT-- I'M AFRAID THERE IS ANEVEN MORE SINISTER THREAT TO

OUR LIME INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.

>> IT ALL GOES BACK TO OURNEIGHBORS TO THE SOUTH.

THE MICHOACAN IS MEXICO'STOP LIME PRODUCER.

AND THAT'S WHERE WE GET MOSTOF OUR LIMES FROM.

FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

VIOLENCE BETWEEN DRUGCARTELS IN MICHOACAN HAS

WRECKED HAVOC ON THE LEMONAND LIME INDUSTRY, SOME

CARTELS STEALING A HALFMILLION DOLLARS WORTH OF

LIMES.

>> Stephen: WHAT IS THISWORLD COMING TO WHEN MURDEROUS

MEXICAN DRUG CARTELS AREPEDDLING LIMES.

THAT'S LIKE WHAL WALTER WHITE STOPPING

COOKING METH AND COOKINGGLUTEN FREE BANANA BREAD.

OKAY.

>> Stephen: THE DRUG CARTELSPUT HUMONGOUS TAXES

ON FARMERS OR JUST KILL THEFARMERS AND TAKE OVER LIME

PRODUCTION THEMSELVES.

SO MOVE OVER BLOOD ORANGESTHERE IS A NEW CONFLICT

CITRUS.

AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLYVICTIM OF THIS LIME CRIME.

>> THE ORANGE COUNTYREGISTER IS REPORTING A CASE

OF LIMES IS SELLING FOR$105.

THAT'S UP FROM JUST $20 AFEW WEEKS AGO.

>> LAST YEAR A LIME WAS LESSTHAN A QUARTER.

NOW WILL YOU PAY ABOUT 53CENTS.

>> Stephen: 53 CENTS FOR ALIME?

NOW YOU'RE TALKING TANGELOMONEY.

(LAUGHTER)SO IN RESPONSE TO THE

ECONOMIC HAVOC CAUSED BY THECARTEL SOME PEOPLE ARE DOING

THE UNTHINKABLE.

>> IN SOME CASES RESTAURANTSARE ALREADY CHOOSING TO MAKE

MIXED DRINKS AND EVENGUACAMOLE WITH LEMONS

INSTEAD OF LIME.

>> Stephen: LEMONS IN MYGUAC?

I'M SORRY, BUT I WOULDRATHER HAVE MY HEAD CHOPPED

OFF AND STUFFED IN A DUFFELBAG.

FOLKS, THIS CRISIS HITS HOMEFOR ME BECAUSE WE ARE COMING

UP ON GIN AND TONICSEASON.

I CANNOT EVEN THINK ABOUTHAVING A G AND T WITHOUT

LIME, LOOK AT THAT PUTTINGTHAT PICTURE UP MAKES MY

HANDSHAKE.

AND I, I WOULD LIKE TOBELIEVE THAT'S BECAUSE OF

LIME WITHDRAWAL.

FOLKS, IN MY DESPERATION, IHAVE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO

RESORT TO BLACK MARKET CITRUS, JAY

THE INTERN COME ON OUT HERE.

JAY THE INTERN, EVERYBODY.

(APPLAUSE)>> HEY, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: NO NAMES, JAY.

>> YOU JUST CALLED ME JAY.

>> Stephen: NO, YOUR CODENAME IS NOW THE LETTER J.

>> GOT IT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

SO YOU'RE JUST BACK FROMMEXICO.

HAVE YOU GOT THE PRODUCT.

>> YES, BUT I COULD ONLY FITTWO.

>> Stephen: TWO?

WHAT KIND OF LIME MULE AREYOU?

OKAY, FINE.

HAND THEM OVER.

>> THEY HAVEN'T YET ARRIVED.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE

HOLDUP, J?

>> SORRY, THERE'S A BACKLOGAT THE PORT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: OKAY, FINE, THEN

TAKE THIS CROSSWORD PUZZLEAND DON'T COME OUT UNTIL

HAPPY HOUR.

OH, OH, OH, OH, AND J, IN ARELATED STORY, THERE'S A

LOOMING GRAPEFRUIT SHORTAGE.

J, THE INTERN, EVERYBODY,WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK MYGUEST IS AN ACCLAIMED COLLEGE

BASKETBALL COACH.

PLEASE WELCOME JOHN CALIPARI!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)COACH, HOW ARE YOU?

>> DOING GOOD.

>> Stephen: THANKS FORCOMING ON.

>> THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

>> Stephen: NOW EVERYBODYKNOWS YOU'RE THE HEAD COACH

AT THE UNIVERSITY OFKENTUCKY, MEN'S BASKETBALL

TEAM, LED ONE TO A NATIONALCHAMPIONSHIP, HELPED 29

PLAYERS MAKE IT TO THE NBAAND YOU HAVE A NEW BOOK HERE

CALLED PLAYERS FIRST,COACHING FROM THE INSIDE

OUT.

PLAYERS FIRST?

DON'T WE HAVE TO START WITHTHE COACH?

(LAUGHTER)YOU PUT THE-- YOU'RE BEING

TOO HUMBLE, SIR, YOU PUT THETEAM TOGETHER.

WITHOUT YOU IT'S JUST FIVETALL GUYS STARING AT THEIR

SHOES.

WHY PLAYERS FIRST?

>> WELL, YOU'RE TRYING TOBRING A TEAM TOGETHER.

YOU'RE TRYING TO TEACH THEMSERVANT LEADERSHIP.

>> Stephen: WHAT THE HELL ISTHAT?

>> WELL, SORRY.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE EITHER ASERVANT OR YOU'RE A

LEADER.

THE LEADER LEADS THESERVANTS.

>> YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKETHEM UNDERSTAND IT'S MORE

ABOUT THE OTHER GUYS THANTHEMSELVES.

WORRY MORE ABOUT YOURTEAMMATE THAN YOURSELF.

>> Stephen: WHAT ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT.

GIVE ME THE BALL, I'MSHOOTING.

>> AN IF YOU DO THAT, THEONLY WAY THEY'LL DO THAT IS

IF THEY KNOW I HAVE THEIRBACK AND I MAKE IT ABOUT

THEM, NOT ABOUT ME, NOTABOUT ME-- IT'S ABOUT ME AND

OUR STAFF AND ALL OF USBEING THERE FOR YOU.

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU DO?

YOU'RE CRITICIZED SOMETIMESFOR HAVING A LOT OF ONE AND

DONE GUYS, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,ONE AND DONE AND CAN THAT BE

CURED WITH VIAGRA, WHAT ISTHAT?

>> MY, I DON'T LIKE THECONNOTATION ONE AND DONE.

WE SAY SUCCEED AND PROCEED.

WHEN THEY'RE READY TO MOVEON-- .

>> Stephen: IT ALSO RHYMESSO IT MUST BE TRUE.

>> IT'S NOT BAD.

BUT THE WHOLE ISSUE FOR MEIS IF THEY'RE READY IF THEY

HAVE A GENIUS AND THEIRGENIUS IS BASKETBALL, THEIR

ATHLETICISM AND ARE READY TOMOVE ON AND TAKE ADVANTAGE,

LIKE STEVE JOBS, LIKE BILLGATES OR TIGER WOODS OR-- .

>> Stephen: NONE OF THOSEGUYS PLAYED BASKETBALL.

>> BUT THEY'RE ALL ABLE TOUSE THEIR GENIUS AND NOT

FINISH COLLEGE AND MOVE ONAND DO SPECIAL THINGS.

>> Stephen: OKAY, OKAY,OKAY.

DO YOU THINK IT SHOULD BEONE AND DONE, DO YOU THINK

PLAYERS SHOULD STAY MORETHAN A YEAR?

>> I WOULD LIKE THEM TO STAYTWO, BUT AGAIN, THEIR

GENIUS DICTATES, IS IT TIMETO GO.

RIGHT NOW WE HAVE TWOPLAYERS ON THIS TEAM DECIDE

THEY'RE GOING TO THE NBA,JAMES YOUNG AND JULYIANCE

RANDALL, TWO GREAT KIDS,GREAT STUDENTS, GREAT

BASKETBALL PLAYERS.

BUT IT'S TIME FOR THEM TOMOVE ON.

WE'RE WAITING TO HEAR FOR ACOUPLE OF OTHERS.

A BUNCH OF OUR GUYS SAIDTHEY ARE COMING BACK.

FOR THE FIRST TIME I HAVEHAD A COUPLE GUYS COME BACK,

BY THE WAY.

>> Stephen: FOR THE FIRSTTIME.

>> YES, THEY ALL LEAVE.

>> Stephen: WHAT IS IT ABOUTYOUR LEADERSHIP THAT MAKES

PEOPLE WANT TO LEAVE.

>> I THINK THEY DONE LIKEME.

AND I ALWAYS SAY THAT.

THE OTHER COACH, DO THEYLIKE THE OTHER COACH MORE

THAN THEY LIKE ME?

THEY ALL STAY BUT ALLGUYS ALL LEAVE, I DON'T

UNDERSTAND.

>> Stephen: NOW IF YOU COULDGET THEM TO STAY FOR TWO

YEARS THIS MIGHT HELP YOU.

HERE IS ANOTHER RHYME, TWOAND TOOTALOO, ALL RIGHT?

I CAN GET A LITTLE TASTE OFTHAT IN CASE THAT WORKS OUT.

>> WELL, I WOULD LET YOUKNOW HOW IT DOES.

>> Stephen: I WILL SEE YOU INCOURT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> Stephen: DO YOU THINKTHAT PLAYERS, WE'VE TALKED

ABOUT THE UNIONIZATION OFCOLLEGE PLATERS WITH SHABAZZ

NAPIER SAID AT UCONN.

DO YOU THINK PLAYERS SHOULDGET PAID?

>> WELL, FIRST OF ALL, THEYTALK ABOUT UNIONS, UNIONS

AREN'T NECESSARY IF YOUTREAT PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY

AND TREAT THEM FAIR.

THAT'S ONE.

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT PAY,IT'S A COST OF ATTENDANCE.

FOR A YOUNG MAN OR A YOUNGWOMAN TO BE ON A COLLEGE

CAMPUS, TO BE ON SCHOLARSHIP,BUT NOT BE ABLE TO LIVE THE

SAME LIVES AS EVERYBODY ELSEON THE CAMPUS IS A TOUGH

DEAL.

SO THE COST OF THATATTENDANCE WHICH CHANGES

FROM SCHOOL TO SCHOOL.

>> Stephen: SO DO WE PAYTHEM?

>> YOU GIVE THEM A COST OFATTENDANCE, YES.

>> Stephen: AND THAT IS PAIDIN WHAT, CHESTNUTS AND

RABBIT PELTS, WHAT?

DO WE GIVE THEM MONEY, THEGREEN STUFF.

>> YOU WOULD GIVE THEM THATSTIPEND WHICH DOES NOT MAKE

THEM PROFESSIONAL.

>> Stephen: UH-HUH.

>> THAT IS-- .

>> Stephen: DOES IT HAVEPICTURES OF PRESIDENTS ON

IT?

>> I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO ONTHIS ONE.

>> IT COULD BE IN HUNDREDS,QUARTERS, IT COULD BE IN A

CHECK, YES.

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD, HOWMUCH DO WE GIVE THESE GUYS,

YOU JUST OPENED UP A CAN OFWORMS, MY FRIEND.

IF YOU-- WHY NOT JUST GIVETHEM LIKE A SNICKERS BAR IF

THEY'RE HUNGRY.

ISN'T THAT ENOUGH, BECAUSEYOU'RE NOT YOURSELF WHEN

YOU'RE HUNGRY.

>> WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TOGIVE THEM SNICKERS BAR.

WE WEREN'T ALLOWED TO GIVETHEM ANYTHING EXCEPT A BAGEL

AND IF WE PUT PEANUT BUTTEROR JELLY ON OR CREAM CHEESE

ON THE BAGEL, WE WERE GOINGTO JAIL.

>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND,YOU COULD GIVE PLAYERS A

BAGEL BUT NOT CREAM CHEESE.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WELL, BECAUSETHAT IS HOW YOU GET A

SLIPPERY SLOPE IS BY PUTTINGCREAM CHEESE ON THE SLOPE, IT

LEADS TO LOX, MAYBE THINSLICED ONION, CAPERS.

>> IT'S RIDICULOUS.

AND THEY CHANGED THAT RULE.

IT HADN'T BEEN PASSED YETBUT THEY SAY UNFETTERED

FOOD.

NOW WE CAN FEED THEM SIXTIMES A DAY OR FIVE TIMES A

DAY, WHATEVER AN ATHLETENEEDS.

>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT THEYCAN EAT. WE CAN FEED THEM

SOUNDS LIKE THERE'S ATROUGH.

YOU ARE JUST POURING-- TIMETO FEED THEM.

EVERYBODY DOWN.

I SAW YOU ON WITH MY HEROBILL O REILLY, OKAY.

AND I WILL ASK YOU THE SAMEQUESTION.

WHAT ARE WE GOING DO WITHTHE YOUNG MEN WITH THE RAP

AND HIP-HOP AND CHAINS ANDTATTOOS?

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DOABOUT THESE GUYS?

WHAT CAN WE DO TO CONTROLTHEM?

>> IT ISN'T-- THESE YOUNGPEOPLE HAVE NOT CHANGED.

>> Stephen: BUT THEY HAVETHE HIP-HOP AND THE RAP AND

THE CHAINS AND THE TATTOOS.

>> ITS MUSIC HAS CHANGED BUTTHE CLUTTER HAS CHANGED

AROUND THEM.

SOCIAL MEDIA AND ALL THOSETHINGS.

WE JUST HAVE TO KEEPEDUCATING, KEEP LEADING

AND-- I DON'T THINK-- .

>> Stephen: TELL THEM TOKNOCK OFF THE HIP-HOP, AND

RAP AND TATTOOS, RIGHT.

YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM TOKNOCK IT OFF.

>> MY SON LISTENS TO THESAME THINGS AND I TURN OFF

WHEN I GET IN THE CAR BUTHE LISTENS TO IT I DON'T

THINK IT'S MADE HIM ANYWORSE.

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT ITHINK THOSE KIDS SHOULD DO?

READ THIS BOOK.

JOHN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FORJOINING ME, JOHN CALIPARI,

THE BOOK IS PLAYERS FIRST.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK.

>> THAT'S IT FOR THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD NIGHT

>> THAT'S IT FOR THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD NIGHT

Captioning sponsored by COMEDY CENTRAL

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

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