September 27, 2011 - Melinda Gates

  • Episode: 07122
  • (0)

Rick Perry owns his horrific debate performance, the NFL tightens stadium security, and Melinda Gates works on improving America's public schools.

COMEDY CENTRAL

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)Ñi

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

"REPORT," EVERYBODY.

THANKÑi YOU!

(CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN")

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT."

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

I JUST WANT TO ANSWER A QUESTION

THAT I GET SO OFTEN FROM KIDS

OUT THERE.çó

HOW FAR ISñr TOO FAR, STEPHEN?

(LAUGHTER)

OBVIOUSLY THE ANSWER IS FOUR ON

THEñr FLOOR.

(APPLAUSE)

HOWEVER YOU WANT TO WORK THAT

OUT...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

DO THE MATH.

DO THE MATH.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU

BUT I AM STILL COMING DOWN FROM

LAST NIGHT'S HOUR-LONG RADIO

HEAD SPECIAL SPONSORED BY

DR. PEPPER.

I WAS SO MOVED BY RADIOD HE'S

SENSITIVE INDY ROCK I WAS UP ALL

NIGHT BINGE HOPING.

ALTHOUGH I WAS SURPRISED TO SEE

SO MUCH TOM YORK CHANGEDED HIS

LOOK SINCE HE WAS ON "AMERICAN

IDOL."

(LAUGHTER)

TONIGHT WE HAVE AN EQUALLY

WORLD-CHANGING GUEST

PHILANTHROPIST MELINDA GATES.

THE BILL GATES FOUNDATION IS

DEDICATED TO ERADICATING MALARIA

AND POLIO THROUGHOUT THE THIRD

WORLD AND SHE IS HERE THANKS TO

HER SPONSORINGÑi BEVERAGE--

POTABLE WATER.

(LAUGHTER)

IT COULD USE A LITTLE HIGH

FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP.

úLIUGHTER)

OF COURSE, BILL GATES IS ONE OF

THE RICHEST THEN THE WORLD AND I

HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE ADMIRER

OF HIS MONEY.

(LAUGHTER)

SO WHEN HE STARTED THE BILL AND

MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION I WAS

INSPIRED TO CREATE THE STEPHEN

ANDñr MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION.

(LAUGHTER)

ESTABLISHED IN 2006, THE STEPHEN

AND MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION HAS

WORKED TIRELESSLY TO FIND OUT

WHAT WE SUPPORT.

(LAUGHTER)Ñi

AND TONIGHT I AM FINALLY PROUD

TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE HAVE DONE IT

AND I DON'T CARE HOW MANY ANGRY

LETTERS I GET FOR SAYING THIS,

WE'RE GOING TO HELP THE

CHILDREN.çó

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S ALL RIGHT TO CHEER ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'M DISAPPOINTED HOW LATE YOU

ARE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND, FOLKSçó, YOU CAN HELP THEM,

TOO.

JUST GO TO STEPHENANDMELINDA

GATESFOUNDATION.ORG WHERE YOU'LL

SEE ME ANDñr MELINDA FLANKING OUR

GOOD FRIEND "YOUR FACE HERE."

JUST UPLOAD A PICTURE OF

YOURSELF AND VOILA, IT'S MELINDA

YOU, AND ME INçó A FREAKY

PHILANTHROPIC THREE-WAY.

FOR EVERY FACE UPLOADED, DONORS

CAN SEND $5 TO THE BILL AND

MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION UP TO

$100,000!

I GOT TO TELL YOU, I DON'T KNOW

WHERE YOU'RE GOING TO FIND THAT

KIND OF CASH.

FOLKS, I DON'T LIKE WHAT I'M

HEARING PEOPLE SAY ABOUT RICK

PERRY.

HE HAS HAD Açó BAD WEEK LARGELY

BECAUSE OF ONE MOMENT IN

THURSDAY'S REPUBLICAN DEBATE.

>> I THINK AMERICANS JUST DON'T

KNOW SOMETIMES WHICH MITT ROMNEY

THEY'RE DEALING WITH.

IS IT THE MITT ROMNEY THAT WAS

ON THE SIDE OF... AGAINST THE

SECOND AMENDMENT BEFORE HE WAS

FOR THE SECOND AMENDMENT?

WAS ITÑi IS... BEFORE HE WAS

BEFORE THE SOCIAL PROGRAMS FROM

THE STANDPOINT OF HE WAS FAR...

STANDING FUN FOR "ROE V. WADE"

BEFORE HE WAS AGAINST "ROE V.

WADE."

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT YOUÑi GET

WHEN YOUR HEAD SPEECH WRITER IS

MAGNETIC POETRY.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND FOLKS, FOLLOWING THIS

DEBACLE, THE LONG FIVES ARE OUT.

>> PERRY DID A LOT OF DAMAGE TO

HIMSELF.

>> HE WAS NOT READY.

>> YIKES, THAT WAS THE ONE WORD

HEADLINE.

>> PERRY REALLY DID THROW UP ALL

OVER HIMSELF.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: THOUGHTFUL ANALYSIS,

BRITT, THANK YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT I'D GO EVEN FURTHER.

PERRY THREW UP ALL OVER HIMSELF

THEN CHOPPED OFF HIS OWN HEAD

AND CRAPPED DOWN HIS OWN NECK

HOLE.

(LAUGHTER)

TORE UP HIS BELLY AND NAILED HIS

INTESTINES TO A TREE AND RANÑi

AROUND IT UNTIL HE UNRAVELED HIS

OWN GUTS.

HE DEFILED HIMSELF WITH EVERY

BODILY FLUID KNOWN TO MAN OTHER

THAN SANTORUM.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)Ñi

IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO OVERSTATE

THE HORRIFIC NATURE OF PERRY'S

DEBATE PERFORMANCE.

I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT IT AGAIN.

JIMMY, I BELIEVE WE HAVE ANOTHER

ANGLE.

>> WAS IT WAS BEFORE... IT WAS

BEFORE...

(LAUGHTER)

OH, THAT A GAS.

AND PERRY'S OPPONENTS HAVE BEEN

QUICK TO CAPITALIZE ON IT.

IF YOU NOTICE-- AND I SWEAR I AM

NOT MAKING THIS UP-- THAT

YOUTUBE FOOTAGE PAID FOR BY MITT

ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER)

AT THIS POINT THERE'S ONLY ONE

THING TO SAY ABOUT PERRY-- I

LIKE THIS GUY.

BECAUSE, FOLKS, THIS WEEKEND HE

DID NOT RUN AWAY FROM HIS DEBATE

PERFORMANCE, HE OWNED IT!

>> IT'S NOT WHO IS THE SLICKEST

CANDIDATE OR THE SMOOTHEST

DEBATER THAT WE NEED TO ELECT

>> WHAT AMERICANS ARE LOOKING

FOR ISN'T THE SLICKEST

CANDIDATE.

THEY'RE LOOKING FOR AN AUTHENTIC

PRINCIPALED LEADER.

>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

SO WHAT IF HE'S NOT A SLICK

TALKER.

SOME OF OUR GREATEST PRESIDENTS

HAVE BEEN TONGUE TIED ON

OCCASIONS.

HOW SOON WE FORGET THIS.

>> FOOL ME ONCE...

(LAUGHTER)

... SHAME ON... SHAME ON YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

FOOL F YOU FOOL ME, YOU CAN'T

GET FOOLED AGAIN!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: IS THAT

INTELLIGIBLE?

NO!

THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE FEVERED

RAMBLINGS OF A SYPHILITIC BRAIN!

BUT HE WAS AUTHENTIC!

SO WHAT IF RICK PERRY THREW UP

ALL OVER HIMSELF.

GEORGE H.W. BUSH THREW UP ALL

OVER HIMSELF AND THE PRIME

MINISTER OF JAPAN!

(LAUGHTER)

THAT IS WHAT'S CALLED TRICKLE

DOWN!

(LAUGHTER)

A PRESIDENT DOES NOT NEED TO BE

ARTICULATE.

WHEN THE MOMENT OF TRUTH COMES,

HE PUSHES THE BUTTON.

HE DOESN'T CONVINCE THE BUTTON

TO PUSH ITSELF.

HE'S NOT THE CONVINCER IN CHIEF,

HE'S THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF.

AND BY "COMMAND" I DON'T MEAN OF

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND AMERICA IS CLEARLY ON THIS

WITH... WITH ME ON ONE.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

CLEARLY AMERICA IS WITH ME ON

THIS ONE!

CNN'S POLL AFTER HIS

MUMBLE-MOUTHED TRAIN WRECK GIVES

PERRY AN EIGHT-POINT LEAD.

CLEARLY HE NEEDS TO SHOW UP AT

THE NEXT DEBATE WITH A MOUTHFUL

OF ANGRY BEES.

(LAUGHTER)ñr

AND WHILE BACHMANN HAS IOWA AND

ROOMNY IS STRONG IN NEW

HAMPSHIRE, MY HOME STATE OF

SOUTH CAROLINA LOVES RICK

PERRY-- ANDÑi THAT'S THE PROBLEM,

FOLKS, BECAUSE SOUTH CAROLINA IS

THE THIRD PRIMARY STATE BUT

ARIZONA GOVERNOR JANUARY CREWER

HAS ANNOUNCED SHE IS MOVING

THEIR PRIMARY UP TO FEBRUARY 28,

SOUTH CAROLINA'S DATE!

WELL, GOVERNOR BREWER HAS MESSED

WITH THE WRONG STEPHEN COLBERT.

THIS ONE!ñr

SHE SAYS SHE'S DOING IT SO THAT

SOUTHWESTERN ISSUES ARE

ADDRESSED BY THE CANDIDATES IN A

MEANINGFUL FASHION.

OH, YEAH, IT'S TIME FOR AMERICA

TO HAVE A SERIOUS DEBATE ON

WHETHER IT'S CACTUSES OR CACTI.

(BLEEP), JAN!

THIS IS ABOUT THE MONEY!Ñi

STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THATñr

PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES SPEND UP

TO 75% OF THEIR CAMPAIGN BUDGETS

ON THE FIRST FEW PRIMARY STATES.

BUYING ADS, TRANSPORTATION,

LODGING.

IT'S AN ORGY OF SPENDING AND

SOUTH CAROLINA IS SUPPOSED STOP

THE LUCKY PIERRE IN THAT

MONETARY ASS PILE.

BUT ARIZONA IS MUSCLING IN.

AND NOW MICHIGAN HAS PASSED A

BILL MOVING THEIR PRIMARY TO

FEBRUARY 28 AND FLORIDA WANTS TO

MOVE THEIRS EVEN EARLIER THAN

THAT!

NOW, FLORIDA GOING EARLIER MAKES

SENSE.

WHEN YOUR AVERAGE VOTER IS 93,

EVERY SECOND COUNTS.

(APPLAUSE)

WELL, FOLKS, SOUTH CAROLINA

VOTERS REFUSED TO BE TREATED

LIKE SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS.

STATE REPUBLICAN CHAIR CHAD

CONNOLLY TOLD "U.S.A. TODAY"

"WE'RE GOING TO BE FIRST IN THE

SOUTH AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO

SHARE OUR DATE WITH ANYBODY,

ESPECIALLY A STATE THAT BREAKS

THE RULES."

YEAH!

SOUTH CAROLINA HAS PROVEN THAT

UNLESS YOU PLAY BY THEIR RULES

THEY WILL TAKE THEIR STATE AND

GO HOME!

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

WELL, I SAY I SAY IN ALL THAT

CAMPAIGN CASH IS ATTRACTING ALL

THE EARLY PRIMARIES, LET'S MAKE

SURE SOUTH CAROLINA GETS ALL

THAT CAMPAIGN CASH BY LETTING

THE CASH DECIDE THE PRIMARY.

JUST DO AWAY WITH THE VOTING AND

GIVE ALL OUR DELEGATES TO

WHOEVER SPENDS THE MOST MONEY!

ON PRIMARY DAY, CAMPAIGNS JUST

HAND IN THEIR RECEIPTS.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT WAY, UNLIKE ELECTRONIC

VOTING, AT LEAST WE'LL HAVE A

PAPER TRAIL.

(LAUGHTER)

TO PROTECT YOUR INTERESTS, SOUTH

CAROLINA, AS LONG AS WE'RE

DECIDING PRESIDENTIAL BIDS,

SHOULDN'T WE GIVE OUR STATE TO

THE HIGHEST BIDDER?

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SNUNG THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!

NATION, IT'S TWO OUT, BOTTOM OF

THE NINTH, BASES LOADED AND I'M

HOLDING A SPEAR GUN.

THIS IS THE SCORE REPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

♪ WHOO!

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, I LOVE NASCAR.

IT ANSWERS THE AGE-OLD QUESTION

"WHAT IF MY BOX OF TIDE COULD GO

200 MILES AN HOUR?"

(LAUGHTER)

ACCORDING TO THE "NEW YORK

TIMES," NASCAR'S BEGUN EMPLOYING

AN AMBITIOUS SET OF GREEN

INITIATIVES THAT INCLUDES

COLLECTING USED FUEL, PLANTING

TREES TO OFFSET CARBON EMISSIONS

AND DEPLOYING SHEEP TO KEEP THE

INFIELD GRASS SHORT.

(LAUGHTER)

SHEEP?

THIS IS AMERICA!

WHEN WE NEED TO KEEP GRASS SHORT

WE HIRE MEXICANS.

(LAUGHTER)

OH, SUCH SILKY COATS.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, THE AL GORIFICATION OF

AUTO RACING MUST STOP.

I DON'T WANT NASCAR RECYCLING OR

MAKING THEIR CARS MORE FUEL

EFFICIENT THAN THEIR CURRENT

FOUR TO FIVE MILES PER GALLON.

(LAUGHTER)

WASTEFUL BURNING OF FUEL IS

NASCAR'S BEST SELLING POINT.

IF ANYTHING, THE CARS GET IN THE

WAY.

I'D PAY GOOD MONEY JUST TO WATCH

CORPORATE SPONSORS FLAMING VASTS

OF GASOLINE.

(LAUGHTER)

THE WINNER IS WHICH EVER TEAM'S

BLACK PLUME BLOCKED OUT THE SUN

FIRST.

NEXT UP, FOLKS, FOOTBALL SEASON

IS UPON US AND UNFORTUNATELY THE

SCAREDY PANT WETTERS AT THE

N.F.L. ARE INSTITUTING A NEW

POLICY AT THE STADIUMS.

>> N.F.L. FANS NOW HAVE TO

ENDURE A LITTLE MORE SECURITY ON

THE WAY INTO STADIUMS ACROSS THE

COUNTRY.

GUARDS ARE NOW DOING FULL BODY

PATDOWNS.

>> Stephen: YES.

FULL BODY PATDOWNS.

WHICH MAY TAKE A WHILE BECAUSE

SOME FANS HAVE SOME VERY FULL

BODIES TO PAT.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW, THE MOVE COMES AFTER A FAN

PRODUCED A STUN GUN IN THE

STANDS AT A JETS/COWBOYS GAME

AND ZAPPED SOME FELLOW

SPECTATORS.

BIG DEAL!

EVERYBODY TAILGATES!

HE WAS JUST GRILLING INSIDE THE

STADIUM.

PLUS, IF THE N.F.L. DISARMS ALL

THE SPECTATORS, WHAT ARE WE

SUPPOSED TO DO FOR ENTERTAINMENT

WHEN THERE'S A LULL IN THE

VIOLENCE ON THE FIELD?

NOW SECURITY PERSONNEL WILL BE

SEARCHING FANS FROM THE ANKLES

TO THE KNEES AS WELL AS THE

WAIST UP.

DAMN!

(LAUGHTER)

YOU SHOULD NEVER CARRY A WEAPON

BETWEEN YOUR KNEES AND YOUR

WAIST!

YOU'D HAVE TO CRAFT SOME KIND OF

I DON'T KNOW, HIP-MOUNTED

GUN-CARRYING HARNESS!

(LAUGHTER)

NOW, TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,

FOLKS, SECURITY GUARDS WILL ALSO

BE LOOKING FOR BOOZE: I'M SORRY.

BUT I NEED BOOZE FOR ANY EVENT

THAT LASTS MORE THAN THREE

HOURS.

THAT'S AS TRUE FOR FOOTBALL AS

IT IS FOR JURY DUTY.

(LAUGHTER)

FEAR NOT, NATION, FEAR NOT.

TEAM COLBERT HAS YOU COVERED.

YOU CAN PASS THE SCREENING AND

GET YOUR DRINK ON THANKS TO MY

PATENTED NEW SHOESçó STEPHEN

COLBERT'S...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

STEPHEN COLBERT'S BIRK STALK.

GO AHEAD, PAT ME DOWN FROM THE

ANKLES UP.

ONCE I'M INSIDE IT'S PARTY TIME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

OH, AND AND OFF MY BEER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: MY GUEST TONIGHT IS

HERE TO TALK ABOUT HOW IMIMPROVE

OUR PUBLIC SCHOOLS.

TONIGHT SHE'LL BE SITTING AT THE

COOL KIDS' TABLE.

PLEASE WELCOME MELINDA GATES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SO NICE TO MEET YOU, THANK YOU

VERY MUCH FOR COMING ON.

>> GLAD TO.

>> Stephen: NOW THEN, MELINDA.

>> YES, STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: AS YOU KNOW, YOU AND

I ARE THE SOLE MEMBERS OF THE

STEPHEN AND MELINDA GATES

FOUNDATION.

>> SO I HEAR.

>> Stephen: AND I'M NOT SEEN YOU

AS MANY OF THE BOARD MEETINGS.

>> HAVEN'T YOU BEEN E-MAILING

ME?

THAT'S HOW WE DO THESE THINGS.

>> Stephen: I HAVE AND I HAVE

BEEN GETTING CEASE AND DESIST

ORDERS FROM YOUR STAFF.

WE'LL GET TO THE MATTER OF YOUR

DUES LATER.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT FIRST YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU

ARE THE LEADERS AND CREATORS OF

THE BILL AND MELINDA GATES

FOUNDATION.

AM I PRONOUNCING... BILL?

>> YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

>> Stephen: OKAY, YOU HAVE MANY

GOALS, SOME OF WHICH ARE

ERADICATING MALARIA AND POLIO IN

AFRICA AND ALSO TO IMPROVE

EDUCATION IN THE UNITED STATES.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WHICH IS A GREATER

SDMAJ ERADICATING DISEASE OR

IMPROVING AMERICA'S SCHOOLS?

(LAUGHTER)

>> WELL, IT'S INTERESTING, WE

OFTEN TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE

ERADICATING DISEASES IS REALLY,

REALLY DIFFICULT.

BUT I THINK THE THING THAT WE

WILL BE AT FOR A LIFETIME

BECAUSE IT IS SO HARD IS TRYING

TO IMPROVE THE U.S. PUBLIC

SCHOOL SYSTEM.

AND WE DO BOTH, THOUGH, BECAUSE

WE BELIEVE IN THE DEVELOPING

WORLD YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GROW

UP AND LIVE A HEALTHY LIFE AND

MOST PEOPLE DON'T GET THAT START

IN LIFE BUT IN THE U.S. PEOPLE

GENERALLY GROW UP TO LIVE A

HEALTHY LIFE BUT THEY NEED TO

HAVE A GREAT EDUCATION SYSTEM

AND WE DON'T HAVE A GREAT

EDUCATION SYSTEM TODAY, WE

REALLY DON'T.

>> Stephen: NOW, WHY NOT?

BECAUSE WE THROW A TON OF CASH

AT OUR EDUCATION SYSTEM.

>> WE DO.

>> AND YOU GUYS-- AND I DON'T

MEAN TO BE CRASS-- HAVE EVEN

MORE CASH.

(LAUGHTER)

ARE YOU JUST THROWING GOOD MONEY

AFTER BAD HERE BY DONATING TO

OUR SCHOOL SYSTEM?

>> WELL, THE U.S. STATES SPEND

ABOUT $500 BILLION EVERY SINGLE

YEAR ON THE PUBLIC SCHOOL

SYSTEM.

WE ARE PUTTING IN ABOUT $5

BILLION BASICALLY OVER THE NEXT

FEW YEARS.

BUT ALLñr PHILANTHROPIC MONEY CAN

DO IS BE A CATALYTIC WEDGE.

WE CAN LOOK AT THE PLACES WHERE

PEOPLE HAVEN'T ANSWERED THE

QUESTIONS OR ASKED SOME OF THE

QUESTIONS AND SAY WHAT IS IT WE

REALLY NEED TO DO TO FIX THIS?

AND ONE OF THE THINGS THAT WE

LEARNED IS THAT HAVING AN

EFFECTIVE TEACHER AT THE FRONT

OF THE CLASSROOM IS THE

SINGLE-MOST IMPORTANT THING THAT

WE CAN DO IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL

SYSTEM.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FIGURE

THAT OUT BECAUSE...

(APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU.

(LAUGHTER)

HOW DO YOU FIGURE OUT WHO'S A

GOOD TEACHER AND WHO'S A BAD

TEACHER?

BECAUSE TEACHERS TEST BUT THEY

DON'T WANT TO BE TESTED.

>> YEAH, AND THIS IS EXACTLY

WHAT WE ASK OURSELVES.

WE SAID HOW DO YOU KNOW WHETHER

THE TEACHER IS BEING EFFECTIVE

IN THE CLASSROOM AND SO WE GOT 3

TEACHERS SIGNED IN SIX DIFFERENT

SCHOOL DISTRICTS TO ALLOW US TO

VIDEOTAPE THEM AND TO START TO

TAKE....

>> Stephen: AT SCHOOL.

>> ATÑi

IN THE CLASSROOM.

(LAUGHTER)

>> AND WE STARTED TO LOOK AT

WHAT IS IT THAT THEY DA DO?

IF THEIR KIDS ARE DOING WELL ON

THE TEST AT THE END OF THE YEAR,

WHAT IS IT THEY'RE DOING IN THE

CLASSROOM?

WE'RE STARTING TO LEARN SOME

INTERESTING THINGS.

THE RESEARCH IS NOT FINISHED YET

BUT SOME OF THE THINGS WE'VE

LEARNED IS THAT THEY MANAGE THE

CLASSROOM REALLY WELL.

THEY GET THE THINGS TO THINK

VERY CRITICALLY ABOUT THAT

ENGLISH ESSAY THEY'RE WRITING

AND IF THE KID DOESN'T EXPLAIN

IT THEY GO BACK UNTIL THE KID

DOES GET IT.

IF YOU MEASURE THE TEACHER ON A

MULTIPLE SET OF THINGS IT'S

PREDICTIVE OF WHETHER THAT KID

IS GOING TO DO WELL ON THAT

TEST.

>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE PLAN

GOING FORTH IN WISCONSIN RIGHT

NOW WHICH IS TO DECERTIFY THE

TEACHERS AND CUT THEIR BENEFITS.

DOES THAT HELP THE KIDS IN ANY

WAY?ñr

TER)(L

>> I THINK ACROSS THE MESH

SCHOOL SYSTEM, WE'RE SEEING EVEN

RIGHT TO WORK STATES ARE NOT

GETTING KIDS PREPARED AND

GETTING READY TO GO ON TO

COLLEGE SO WE NEED TO DO THINGS

TO SUPPORT THESE TEACHERS.

ONE OF THESE THINGS OVER 40

STATES HAVEÑi SIGNED UP TO DO IS

TO HAVE STANDARDS THAT SAY THIS

IS WHAT A KID NEEDS TO KNOW IN

ALGEBRA BY THE END OF NINTH

GRADE.

THIS IS WHAT THEY NEED TO KNOW

ABOUT ENGLISH LANGUAGE ART AND

ONCE YOU THAT YOU CAN OPEN UP

THE MARKET TO GET LOTS OF GREAT

CURRICULUM THAT ANY TEACHER THEN

CAN GO LOOK UP ON THE INTERNET

OR LOOK UP IN A BOOK TO CREATE

THEIR OWN CURRICULUM TO TEACH

KIDS IN CREATIVE WAYS.

>> Stephen: YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND

HAVE PLEDGED TO GIVE AWAY 90% OF

YOUR WEALTH TO CHARITABLE

ENDEAVORS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IT SOUNDS GOOD BUT HOW ARE YOU

GOING TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE?

(LAUGHTER)

AND THEN THE TABLE ON A VERANDA

AND THER HAVE RABB DA ON THE

PENINSULA.

WHY AREN'T YOU LEAVING THINGS

FOR YOUR KIDS?

DON'T THEY DESERVE THE SAME LIFE

THAT YOU HAVE?

>> WELL, BILL AND I JUST REALLY

FEEL LIKE, YOU KNOW, THE

RESOURCES THAT HAVE COME FROM

MICROSOFT FROM WHAT THIS

CREATIVE WITH THAT COMPANY

SHOULD GO BACK TO SOCIETY.

WE FEEL LIKE WE BENEFITED SO

MUCH BY LIVING IN THE UNITED

STATES.

WE FEEL SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE

EDUCATION WE HAVE AND SO WE WANT

TO CHANGE THINGS IN THE UNITED

STATES AND IN SOME PLACES

OUTSIDE THE U.S.

>> Stephen: BUT YOU'RE LOOEFG

YOUR CHILDREN ONLY 10% OF $60

BILLION!

GET OUT IN THE WORLD!

MAKE YOUR OWN WAY!

>> WE ACTUALLY HAVEN'T PUT A

NUMBER ON WHAT WE'RE GOING TO

LEAVE THE KIDS.

>> Stephen: CAN I PUT A NUMBER

ON WHAT YOU COULD LEAVE HE?

BECAUSE I HAVE TO TELL YOU IT

MUST BE SUCH A BURDEN TO HAVE TO

GIVE THIS MONEY AWAY AND NOT

KNOW EXACTLY WHO TO GIVE IT TO.

YOU REMEMBER ANDREW CARNEGIE HE

GAVE AWAY ALL OF HIS MONEY?

REMEMBER ANDREW CARNEGIE?

HE GAVE AWAY ALL HIS MONEY AND

LOOK WHAT IT DID TO HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO

YOU, MELINDA GATES.

(APPLAUSE)

>> LET ME SAVE YOU FROM THAT!

GIVE ME YOUR MONEY.

I PROMISE SOMEONE WILL GET IT

EVENTUALLY.

PERSONALLY I WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR SUPPORTING DONORS CHOOSE

BECAUSE I'M ON THE BOARD.

(APPLAUSE)

AND BESIDES THE HUNDRED THOUSAND

DOLLAR CHALLENGE YOU PUT OUT TO

MY FANS YOU HAVE BEEN SUPPORTING

DONORS CHOOSE FOR YEARS AND IT'S

A GREAT ORGANIZATION.

I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO GO ON

LINE, GO TOñr

STEPHENANDMEL LINDA

GATESFOUNDATION.ORG AND UPLOAD

YOUR PHOTO.

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