June 24, 2014 - Edie Falco

  • Episode: 10124
  • (0)

ISIS militants invade the Twittersphere, Ben & Jerry's becomes GMO-free, New York lawmakers ban tiger selfies, and Edie Falco talks about Showtime's "Nurse Jackie."

>> Stephen: TONIGHT, PARTISANPOLITICS ARE TEARING THIS

COUNTRY APART.

I BLAME THE DEMOCRATS.

THEN, NEW REGULATIONS IN SOCIALMEDIA.

YOU CAN NO LONGER CLAIM YOURFACEBOOK FRIENDS AS DEPENDENTS.

AND MY GUEST, EDIE FALCO, PLAYSA NURSE ON SHOWTIME'S "NURSE

JACKIE."

I WILL INTERVIEW HER IN ABACKLESS ROBE.

A NEW STUDY SAYS CASUAL SEX MAYBE GOOD FOR YOU.

WELL, IT WAS GOOD FOR ME.

THIS IS THE "COLBERT REPORT."

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WHOOO.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WHOOO!

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

IN HERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUNDTHE WORLD.

YOU KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO FROST CUPCAKES.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO PUSSY FOOTAROUND.

SO PULL UP YOUR PANTIES, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

IT IS TIME TO DRIVE THE 18WHEELER OF TRUTH DOWN THE

THROATS OF OUR ENEMIES.

( LAUGHTER )NOW, FOLKS FOR THE PAST WEEK I

HAVE BEEN REPORTING ON THEALARMING SPREAD OF THE JIHADIST

GROUP ISIS.

THEY'VE ALREADY SWEPT THROUGHLARGE SWATHS OF IRAQ AND SYRIA,

BUT NOW THEY HAVE INVADEDHASHTAG-ISTAN.

JIM.

>> IT'S CLEAR IN TERMS OF THESOCIAL MEDIA COMPETITION AMONG

TERRORISTS, THIS GROUP ISWINNING.

>> ALL AROUND THE WORLDSUPPORTERS OF THE GROUP ARE

TWEETING WITH THE HASHTAG "ALLEYES ON ISIS"

VERY ACTIVE ON SOCIAL MEDIA,FACEBOOK, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM

.>> Stephen: OH,THEY ARE HUGE

ON INSTAGRAM.

THEY HAVE ONE FILTER TO MAKE ALLTHE PHOTOS SEEM LIKE THEY'RE

FROM THE 1970s, AND ANOTHERFILTER THAT MAKES ALL THEIR

IDEAS SEEM LIKE THEY'RE FROM THE7TH CENTURY.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS, FOLKS BECAUSE THEY ARE DEVIOUSLY

PIGGY-BACKING ON TWITTER.

TRENDS.

TO SPREAD THEIR MESSAGE SHARINGPRO-ISIS CONTENT WITH THE

HASHTAG" #WORLDCUP2014.

WATCH FOR THAT.

DO NOT CLICK ON ANY LINKS FROMISIS THAT SAY "CHECK OUT THIS

AMAZING HEADER," BECAUSE IT'SNOT SOCCER.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

( LAUGHTER )ISIS IS EVEN T-MOBILIZING THEIR

FOLLOWERS WITH AN ISIS APP FORANDROID PHONES. IT'S PERFECT

FOR ANY MUJAHEDEEN WHO ARE BOREDWITH PLAYING FRUIT EXTREMIST.

NATION, WE CANNOT ALLOW ISIS TOCONQUER THE TWITTER-SPHERE

FORTUNATELY, THERE IS ASURE-FIRE WAY TO DESTROY

ANYTHING BECOMING POPULAR ONSOCIAL MEDIA.

WE MUST GET ISIS' MOMS TO JOIN.

I'M HAPPY TO SAY, WE HAVEACQUIRED A RECORDING OF A PHONE

CALL INTERCEPTED BY THE N.S.A.

OF WHAT I WOULD LIKE THIS TOSOUND LIKE.

( PHONE RINGING ).

>> HELLO.

>> HI, HONEY!

SO HOW ARE THINGSWITH THE CAL-I-FIN-ATE?

>> IT'S CALIPHATE, MOM.

>> DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

I KNOW WHAT A CAL-A-FIN-ATE IS.

IT'S WHAT YOUR GRANDFATHER HASTO USE TO PEE.

IT'S VERY PAINFUL.

YOU SHOULD CALL HIM.

HE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

>> MOM.

>> I WAS JUST LOOKING AT MYFRIEND LINDA'S FACEBOOK PAGE.

APPARENTLY LINDA'S SON EXECUTED15 PEOPLE AND ONE OF THEM WAS A

DOCTOR.

>> WELL, THAT'S GOOD FOR LINDA'SSON.

>> I INSTAGRAMMED YOU A NOTE

DID YOU GET IT?

>> YOU DON'T-- YOU DON'TINSTAGRAM NOTES, MOM

>> IT SAYS, "DEATH TO AMERICA,"LOVE MOM.

>> YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIGNEVERYTHING LOVE MOM.

MY FRIENDS SEE THAT.

>> OH, OKAY.

( SIGHS ).

>> I'M SORRY, I LOVE YOU, TOO.

>> I KNOW, SWEETIE!

DON'T FORGET.

YOUR SISTER'S BIRTHDAY IS ONSUNDAY.

WEAR A NICE SUICIDE VEST.

BYE! GOOD LUCK WITH THECAL-I-FIN-ATE.

MOM?

>> Stephen: MIDDLE EAST,SOLVED.

FOLKS, I BELIEVE THERE ARE TWOSIDES TO EVERY STORY-- MINE AND

THE OTHER ONE I HAVE.

THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAG OFTHE FINGER.

FOLKS, ANYBODY WHO KNOWS MEKNOWS I LOVE PRESCRIPTION DRUGS.

I LOVE HOW POWERFUL THEY ARE.

I LOVE HOW INTERCHANGEABLE THEIRBOTTLES LOOK.

IT'S LIKE PLAYING ENDOCRINEROULETTE.

ALSO I LOVE THE FIRST AMENDMENTWHICH IS WHY I'M GIVING A WAG OF

MY FINGER TO THE F.D.A. FORVIOLATING

BIG PHARMA'S FREEDOMOF TWEETS.

>> THE F.D.A. IS PROPOSING NEWGUIDELINES FOR DRUG INDUSTRY

POSTINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

DRUG COMPANIES POSTINGINFORMATION ON TWITTER, FOR

EXAMPLE, WOULD HAVE TO INCLUDETHE BENEFITS AND MAIN RISKS.

>> Stephen: SORRY, YOUNG,HIP, TWITTER USERS.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO SOMEPLACE ELSE TO LEARN THE DOPEST

NEWS ABOUT BONIVA.

OSTEOPEROSIS IS WHACK, YO.

UNDER THE NEW GUIDELINES, BIGPHARMA TWEETS WILL NOW HAVE TO

INCLUDE ALL SIDE EFFECTS ANDWARNINGS PRINTED ON THE PRODUCT

LABEL.

OH, COME ON!

THERE'S NO WAY THAT PFIZER COULDTELL ALL THEIR FOLLOWERS ALL THE

SIDE EFFECTS FOR VIAGRA INJUST 140 CHARACTERS.

VIAGRA HAS NINE SIDE EFFECTSINCLUDING PERMANENT DAMAGE TO

THE PENIS, LOSS OF SIGHT, ANDLOSS OF HEARING.

THAT IS SCARY STUFF.

I FOR ONE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IWOULD DO IF MY PENIS WENT BLIND

AND DEAF.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

IT WOULD HAVE TO GET A SERVICEDOG.

( LAUGHTER )WELL, AS ALWAYS, I AM HERE TO

HELP THE DRUG COMPANIES.

THERE'S A VERY SIMPLE WAY TOTREAT YOUR DRUG'S COMPLEX SIDE

EFFECTS -- EMOJIS.

EMOJIS CAN COVER EVERY POSSIBLESIDE EFFECT.

FOR DEPRESSION, JUST TWEET AFROWNY FACE.

RISK OF CARDIAC ARREST, A BROKENHEART.

EMOJIS CAN ALSO TELL PEOPLE TOAVOID THE DRUG IF THEY'RE

BIPOLAR.

OR THAT CLINICAL TRIALS CAUSEBLINDNESS IN MONKIES.

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, IF THERE'SA RISK OF GENITAL PURPLING.

NEXT FOLKS--HUGE SIDE EFFECTFANS HERE TONIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )NEXT UP, FOLKS, SUMMERTIME IS

UPON US, AND THAT MEANS EVERYONEIS WORKING TO PERFECT THEIR

SWIMSUIT BODY.

AND FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE ALREADY ACCEPTED OUR

SWIMSUIT BODY, SUMMER ALSO MEANSICE CREAM.

NOW A RADICAL CHANGE AT BEN &JERRY'S HAS ME SO OUTRAGED THAT

I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALLSCREAM AT ICE CREAM.

>> BEN & JERRY'S IS HOPINGCUSTOMERS WILL APPRECIATE WHAT

IS NOT GOING INTO THEIR ICECREAM.

ACCORDING TO THE BURLINGTONPRESS, BEN & JERRY'S IS

SWITCHING TO NON-G.M.O.

INGREDIENTS, WHICH MEANS SOME OFTHE FAVORITE RECIPES WILL BE

CHANGED.

GEMETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISMSARE PLANTS OR ANIMALS WITH

D.N.A. THAT HAS BEEN CHANGED TOPRODUCE NEW GENES OR TRAITS

>> Stephen: BEN & JERRY'S ISGETTING RID OF ALL GMO'S, WHICH

OF COURSE MEANS THE END OF THEIR

CONTROVERSIAL FLAVOR, THE ISLANDOF DR. MORE OREOS.

THEIR RASH DECISION IS A DIRECTTHREAT TO MY ICE CREAM, BECAUSE

IN A RECENT INTERVIEW AND JERRYWAS ASKED, WHAT IS YOUR

FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?"AND HE SAID BEN & JERRY'S

AMERICONE DREAM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME!

BEN & JERRY'S AMERICONE DREAM.

CHECK THE LABEL.

IT'S STEPHEN COLBERT'S AMERICONEDREAM.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

THEY HAVE CUT OUT THE MOSTIMPORTANT INGREDIENT OF ALL--

ME.

WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN I MUST BE AGENETICALLY MODIFIED ORGANISM.

I MEAN, IT MAKES SENSE.

I AM HIGHLY RESISTANT TO APHIDSAND-- AND-- AND I'M ROUND-UP

READY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )KIDS, KIDS, DON'T TRY THAT AT

HOME UNLESS YOUR PARENTS BOUGHTYOU FROM MONSANTO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS CURES-- THIS CURES GENITALPURPLING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

FOLKS, I LOVE NEW YORK CITY.

PEOPLE ARE JUST--( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

LISTEN TO THAT.

PEOPLE ARE SO FRIENDLY HERE.

YOU CAN GO OUT ON THE STREET ANYDAY, STICK OUT YOUR ARM, AND

SOMEONE WILL GIVE YOU A RIDE FORFREE.

AND THEN WHEN YOU GET OUT OF THECAR, THEY SHOUT GOOD-BYE TO YOU

IN THEIR STRANGE AND ANGRYLANGUAGE.

BUT SADLY, NOWHERE IS BIGGOVERNMENT MORE INTRUSIVE THAN

THE BIG APPLE.

YOU THINK YOU CAN FORCE ME INTOALTERNATE SIDE-OF-THE-STREET

PARKING? GUESS WHAT, COPPERS?

YOU CAN KEEP MY CAR, AND GOODLUCK FINDING A PLACE TO PARK IT.

WELL, NOW THE OVER-REACH HASREACHED TOO OVER AS THE "NEW

YORK POST" REPORTS, STATELEGISLATORS HAVE PASSED A BILL

BANNING PEOPLE FOR POSING FORPHOTOS WHILE HUGGING, PATTING,

OR OTHERWISE TOUCHING TIGERS.

YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT-- NEW YORKWANTS TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO TAKE

A TIGER SELFIE.

A CLEAR INFRINGEMENT ON OURFREEDOM OF SPEECH.

THAT SPEECH?

THE FLASH IS OFF, RIGHT?

OH, GOD NO!

ALSO BEING DONE IN THE NAME OFINCREASING SAFETY AT TRAVELING

CIRCUSES AND COUNTY FAIRS -- OH,FOR PETE'S SAKE WHO WANTS SAFETY

AT THE COUNTY FAIR YOU GO THERETO FILL UP ON FRIED NITRATES AND

STRAP YOUR CHILDREN INTO A RIGHTOPERATED BY METH-ADDLED TEENS.

YOU'D BE SAFER IF THE TIGER WASRUNNING THE TILT-A-WHIRL.

I HAVE BEEN WARNING YOU THIS WASCOMING SINCE 2010.

MARK MY WORDS, FOLKS. FIRST THEYCOME FOR YOUR FOUR LOCO

NEXT THEY'LL BE BANNING PEOPLEFROM TAKING PHOTOS WHILE

PATTING, HUGGING, OR OTHERWISETOUCHING PANTHERS.

SO CLOSE.

SO CLOSE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY--( APPLAUSE )

I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER LOSTTHAT BEARD.

OF COURSE, THE BIGGEST VICTIMSOF THIS PLAN ARE, AS USUAL IN

OBAMA'S AMERICA, GUYS TRYING TOGET LAID.

>> TIGER SELFIES A BIG TREND ONA DATING APP.

IT IS A GROWING TREND ON SITESLIKE TINDER AND OK CUPID

>> Stephen: OH YEAH, LADIESLOVE A MAN WHO CUDDLES UP WITH

BIG GAME CATS. IT SHOWS YOU'RESPONTANEOUS AND DON'T OVER-THINK

THINGS. NOW, HOW WILL GUYS SHOWTHEY'RE FUN AND ADVENTUROUS ON

DATING SITES WITHOUT TIGERSELFIES?

IT'S EITHER THAT OR PHOTOS OFYOU ROCK CLIMBING OR IF YOU'RE

REALLY COOL, DOING BOTH.

( LAUGHTER )IT IS ALREADY-- IT IS ALREADY

HARD ENOUGH FOR GUYS TO LOOKCOOL AND DANGEROUS IN NEW YORK

AFTER MAYOR BLOOMBERG TOOK AWAYOUR CIGARETTES, TOOK AWAY OUR

GUNS AND TOOK AWAY OUR BIGGULPS.

LADIES, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAYABOUT A GUY WITH A BIG GULP--

HE'S ALSO PROBABLY GOT A BIGRISK OF DIABETES.

AND LIKE IT OR NOT, FOLKS, LIKEIT OR NOT, TIGER SELFIES ARE NOT

SOME PASSING FAD.

IN FACT, TINDER USERS ESTIMATETHEY ENCOUNTER TIGERS IN

ONE OUT OF EVERY 10 PROFILESTHEY VIEW-- ONE IN 10!

I HAD NO IDEA THERE WERE THATMANY TIGERS STILL LEFT OUT

THERE.

THAT'S ACTUALLY GREAT NEWS I'VEGOT TO IMAGINE THAT JUST MARKET

FORCES, THE OBVIOUS BOON IN THETIGER POPULATION IS BECAUSE THEY

NOW SERVE SOME MARKETABLEPURPOSE.

THIS IS HOW ENDANGERED SPECIESCAN SAVE THEMSELVES -- BY

HELPING US GET LAID.

SORRY, DODO, BUT YOUR TERRIBLEWINGS MADE YOU A TERRIBLE

WINGMAN.

YOU HAD TO GO.

AND TONIGHT I'M CALLING ON THEBRO-MMUNITY TO PHOTOGRAPH

THEMSELVES WITH AS MANYENDANGERED SPECIES AS POSSIBLE

TO FIND OUT IF THAT ANIMALATTRACTS WOMEN.

( LAUGHTER )I'M TALKING ABOUT THE NOBLE SNOW

LEOPARD.

THE BREATH-TAKING BLUE WHALE.

THE MAJESTIC SANTA CRUZLONG-TOED SALAMANDER.

I JUST HOPE WE'RE NOT TOO LATETO SAVE THE WESTERN BLACK RHINO.

BY THE WAY, THIS EPISODE OF THETHE "COLBERT REPORT" IS

DEDICATED TO OUR FRIEND, PHILHILDEBRAND.

PAUL WORKED IN THE GRAPHICSDEPARTMENT, AND HE COULD HAVE

JUST PHOTO SHOPPED THAT, BUT HEWANTED TO GET IT JUST RIGHT.

AND-- AND BECAUSE I TOLD HIM TO.

( LAUGHTER )I WANT HIS FAMILY TO KNOW THAT

HE DIED WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE.

( LAUGHTER )HE WILL BE MISSED.

( APPLAUSE )WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY. MY GUEST TONIGHTPLAYS A DRUG ADDICTED NURSE.

I WILL INTERVIEW HER PROVIDEDSHE CAN PASS MY URINE TEST.

PLEASE WELCOME EDIE FALCO!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HEY! GOOD TO SEE YOU.

THANKS FOR COMING ON.

WHAT A PLEASURE TO HAVE YOU ON.

>> IT'S A PLEASURE TO BE HERE.

THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: WE'VE BEENWANTING TO HAVE YOU ON FOR A

LONG TIME.

FOR THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW YOUWERE THE ONLY ACTRESS TO WIN AN

ENEMY IN BOTH THE DRAMATIC ANDCOMEDY CATEGORIES.

YOU WON THREE FOR, OBVIOUSLY,YOUR WORK AS CARMELA ON "THE

SOPRANOS."

AND ONE FOR YOUR CURRENTSHOW "NURSE JACKIE," ON

SHOWTIME, SEASON 6 FINALE ONSUNDAY AT 9:00 P.M.

YOUR CHARACTER IS ADDICTED TOPERCOCET, VICODIN, ADDERALL,

XANAX AND OXYCONTIN.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: HOW MUCH RESEARCHDID YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET READY

FOR THAT?

>> I TAKE MY WORK VERYSERIOUSLY, SO I'M, AS WE SPEAK,

DOING RESEARCH.

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

AFTER SIX YEARS OF PLAYING ANURSE, DO YOU EVER SAY TO

YOURSELF, "I COULD FAKE MY WAYTHROUGH A SHIFT?"

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GO INTO AHOSPITAL AND KIND OF ( BLEEP )

FOR THE FIRST SIX HOURS.

>> NOT A CHANCE.

>> Stephen: JUST YELL THEWORD "STAT" A LOT.

>> NO, I GET MORE NERVOUS NOWTHAN I EVER DID AROUND SICKNESS

BECAUSE PEOPLE THINK I CAN DOSOMETHING.

I RUN IN THE OTHER AS QUICKLY ASPOSSIBLE.

>> Stephen: DO NURSES EVERCOME UP TO YOU AND SAY, "YEAH,

THAT FEELS RIGHT TO ME.

YOU GET IT RIGHT.

THAT'S WHAT IT'S LIKE."

>> THOSE ARE THE ONES WHO TALKTO ME. THE ONES WHO DON'T

TALK TO ME DON'T FEEL THAT WAY.APPARENTLY THERE ARE NURSES

WHO FEEL OTHER THAN THAT, BUTTHEY'RE NOT COMING UP TO ME AND

FOR THAT I'M VERY GRATEFUL.

>> Stephen: IN SEASON 1, THESHOW WAS PROTESTED BY THE NEW

YORK STATE NURSE'S ASSOCIATIONBECAUSE YOUR CHARACTER "HAD NO

QUALMS ABOUT REPEATEDLYVIOLATING THE NURSING CODE OF

ETHICS."

DO THEY NOT KNOW HOW ACTINGWORKS?

>> I STAY SO FAR OUT OF THATSTUFF, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I ONLY HEAR ABOUT IT WHENSOMEBODY TELLS ME ABOUT IT.

IT'S NOT AN ARGUMENT I WANT TOGET INTO.

IT'S A STORY ABOUT A PRETENDLADY.

>> Stephen: IT IS A PRETENDLADY.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> A VERY NICE LADY.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

>> TROUBLED.

WHY DO YOU-- SOME WOULD SAYPRETEND. I LIKE TO

THINK OF ACTORS AS LIARS. WHY DOYOU LIE FOR A LIVING?

WHY ARE YOU AN ACTRESS?

>> WELL, I SPENT MANY YEARSPRACTICING THAT PARTICULAR SKILL

AS WELL, AS I AM RIGHT NOW.

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: NO, NO, I LIKE,THAT I LIKE THAT.

SO YOU'RE A LIAR.

>> A LITTLE BIT.

>> Stephen: AREN'T WE ALL,THOUGH?

>> KIND OF, RIGHT.

>> Stephen: IT'S LOVELY TOHAVE YOU HERE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE )

>> I THINK THAT MIGHT HAVE BEENA LIE.

>> Stephen: NO, NOT AT ALL.

YOU HAVE BEEN VERY OPEN YOUHAVE-- YOU HAVE BEEN VERY OPEN

ABOUT YOUR OWN SOBRIETY ANDYOUR OWN RECOVERY.

IS PLAYING NURSE JACKIE, IS ITTEMPTING TO ABUSE AGAIN WHEN

YOU'RE PLAYING SOMEBODY WHO ISABUSING OR IS IT JUST A REMINDER

TO NEVER TOUCH IT AGAIN.

>> I'M LUCKY IN THAT IT'S THESECOND OF THOSE TWO THINGS.

IT MAKES ME SO GLAD THAT I'M NOTDOING ANYTHING LIKE THAT

ANYMORE.

YOU GET TO REMEMBER WHAT IT FELTLIKE TO BE ALL MIXED UP IN THAT

CHAOS AND THAT KIND OF POLLUTEDHEAD AND CONFUSED STATE ALL THE

TIME, WHERE IT'S SORT OF A WAYOF LIFE.

>> Stephen: SO IT ACTUALLYHELPS?

>> IT TOTALLY HELPS.

ABSOLUTELY.

I DON'T KNOW I COULD SAY IT'STHAT WAY FOR EVERYBODY, BUT IT

IS THAT WAY FOR ME.

>> Stephen: WHEN I'M DIETING,I LIKE TO BAKE FOR OTHER PEOPLE.

>> IT'S ALMOST LIKE THAT.

I KNOW A LOT OF SOBERBARTENDERS.

>> Stephen: REALLY.

>> I TOTALLY GET IT.

"DRINK THIS ONE.

DRINK THIS ONE.

IT'S REALLY GOOD."

>> Stephen: I LIKE TOSAY "WAS IT CRUNCHY?"

WHEN YOU PLAYED CARMELLA WHY DOYOU THINK SO MANY PEOPLE-- NURSE

JACKIE DOES NOT MAKE ADDICTIONLOOK GOOD.

SHE'S NOT LIKE KEITH RICHARDS.

SHE DOES NOT MAKE IT LOOK GOOD.

BUT CARMELA IS A BELOVEDMATRIARCH, ONE OF THE MOST

BELOVED OF ANY MATRIARCH IN A TVSHOW.

WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE LOVEDHER SO MUCH WHEN SHE KNEW HER

HUSBAND WAS KILLING PEOPLE ANDDUMPING THEM IN THE RIVER AND

SHE DID NOTHING TO STOP TO THEM?

>> VERY COMPLICATED THAT.

I'M NOT THE WRITER, SO I DON'TREALLY KNOW.

SHE WAS DEVOTED TO THE THINGS AMOTHER SHOULD BE DEVOTED TO--

HER CHILDREN, HER HUSBAND, HERFAMILY-- AND WAS LIVING IN THIS

GIANT DENIAL HEAD ABOUT WHATWAS ACTUALLY GOING ON.

THAT'S AS MUCH AS I CAN EXPLAINIT FROM SORT OF AN

INTELLECTUAL BRAIN.

THE WHOLE THING MADE SENSE TO MEWHEN I WAS DOING IT.

I JUST THOUGHT SHE LOVED HERHUSBAND AND HER KIDS, THINKING

HE WORKS HARD, I DON'T KNOW HOW,BUT--

>> Stephen: HERE'S SOMETHINGTHAT MADE A LITTLE LESS SENSE,

THE ENDING OF THE SOPRANOS.

I HAVE A GUESS THAT NURSE JACKIEIS CARMELA IN THE WITNESS

PROTECTION PROGRAM.

AND SHE TAKES THE DRUG TOFORGET.

YOU CAN HAVE THAT ONE FOR FREE.

YOU TELL THE WRITERS.

>> GRATEFUL ISN'T A BIG ENOUGHWORD.

>> YOU WORK WITH PETA ALSO.

YOU'RE A VEGETARIAN.

>> I AM.

>> YOU WORK WITH PETA.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU URGED PARENTSTO KEEP THEIR CHILDREN AWAY FROM

THE CIRCUS BECAUSE OF THE USE OFANIMALS FOR THE CIRCUS.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEELABOUT GUYS TAKING SELFIES WITH

TIGERS?

>> THAT'S A ROUGH ONE, YOU KNOW.

IT DEPENDS ON HOW INTO IT THETIGERS WERE.

>> Stephen: EDIE, THANK YOUSO MUCH FOR JOINING ME.

>> MY PLEASURE.

>> Stephen: EDIE FALCO, NURSEJACKIE ON SHOWTIME,

THIS SUNDAY AT 9. WE'LL BERIGHT BACK.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT!

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