November 15, 2011 - Elijah Wood

  • Episode: 08022
  • (0)

The NYPD dismantles Occupy Wall Street, investors accuse Goldline International of theft, and Elijah Wood talks Middle-earth and penguins.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR JOINING US.

WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE THING...

WE'VE GOT ENORMOUS NEWS TODAY,

FOLKS.

WE'RE ALL GETTING SICK OF THE

OCCUPY WIETERS.

IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS, WE GET IT.

INCOME INEQUALITY DOWN 1%, 99

RED BALLOONS GO BY.

ENOUGH, ENOUGH.

THANKFULLY IN THE LAST FEW DAYS

OCCUPY ENCAMPMENTS HAVE BEEN

DECAMPED IN PORTLAND, DENVER,

OAKLAND AND LAST NIGHT IN NEW

YORK'S ZUCOTTI PARK, OCCUPY'S

BIRTHPLACE.

PROTESTORS WERE REMOVED BY SAYS

TARN.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW, MY FELLOW 1%ER NEW YORK

MAYOR MICHAEL BLOOMBERG HAD TO

TAKE ACTION.

>> FROM THE BEGINNING I'VE SAID

THAT THE CITY HAS TWO PRINCIPLE

GOALS: GUARANTEEING PUBLIC

HEALTH AND SAFETY AND

GUARANTEEING THE PROTESTERS'

FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS.

BUT WHEN THOSE TWO GOALS CLASH,

THE HEALTH AND SAFETY OF THE

PUBLIC AND OUR FIRST RESPONDERS

MUST BE THE PRIORITY.

>> Stephen: YES, TO PROTECT

EVERYONE'S HEALTH AND SAFETY

THEY SENT IN THIS GUY.

(LAUGHTER)

THERE HE IS, HELPING THE WOUNDED

AND THE SICK WITH HIS TWO

FISTS-- FLORENCE AND

NIGHTINGALE.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

WE'RE TAKING BLOOD DONATIONS!

AND HIS HONOR WAS CAREFUL NOT TO

VIOLATE THE PROTESTERS' FIRST

AMENDMENT RIGHTS.

>> NEW YORK CITY IS THE CITY

WHERE YOU CAN COME AND EXPRESS

YOURSELF AND WHAT WAS HAPPENING

IN ZUCOTTI PARK WAS NOT THAT.

IT HAD DEVELOPED INTO A

SITUATION WHICH WAS PROHIBITING

A LOT OF PEOPLE FROM EXPRESSING

THEIR VIEWS.

>> Stephen: CLEARLY THEIR

EXPRESSION WAS PROHIBITING OTHER

EXPRESSION.

AFTER ALL, WHEN A DRUM CIRCLE

STARTS IN ZUCOTTI PARK, ALL

OTHER MUSIC IN NEW YORK STOPS.

(LAUGHTER)

BESIDES, THE FOUNDERS NEVER

INTENDED INDEFINITE FREE SPEECH.

THEY ASSUMED AFTER TWO WEEKS ANY

PROTEST WOULD BE WIPED OUT BY

SMALLPOX.

(LAUGHTER)

PLUS, LET'S REMEMBER, FOLKS,

THESE SO-CALLED PEACEFUL

PROTESTERS COULD HAVE TURNED

VIOLET LIKE THEIR FELLOW

OCCUPIERS AT U.C. BERKELEY LAST

WEEK.

LOOK AT THESE VICIOUS STUDENTS

ATTACKING THESE BILLY CLUBS WITH

THEIR SOFT, JABABLE BELLY.

(LAUGHTER)

THESE STUDENTS, OF COURSE,

NAIVELY THOUGHT THEY WERE THE

ONES BEING HELPLESSLY

TRUNCHEONED.

BUT BERKELEY CHANCELLOR ROBERT

BIRGENEAU EDUCATED THE STUDENTS

SAYING "LINKING ARMS IS NOT

NON-VIOLENT CIVIL DISOBEDIENTS."

(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S RIGHT.

LINKING ARMS IS A DANGEROUS ACT

OF AGGRESSION AS TAUGHT IN THE

ANCIENT MARTIAL ARTS OF RED

ROVING, SQUARE DANCING, VON

TRAPPING, AND, MOST DANGEROUS OF

ALL, YELLOW BRICK ROADING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

TEAR GAS THOSE ANARCHISTS.

YOU DON'T NEED A HOUSE, MR. ,

YOU

I ALREADY KNOW THEY DROPPED A

HOUSE ON A WITCH AND YOU KNOW

SHE'S IN THE 1%.

THE POINT IS, FOLKS, I'M FED UP

WITH PEOPLE WHO THINK THEY CAN

LAZE AROUND AND BE A DRAIN ON

SOCIETY.

I DON'T DO THAT.

I WORK HARD TO BE A DRAIN ON

SOCIETY.

(LAUGHTER)

TAKES A LOT OF EFFORT AND

FALSIFIED PAPERWORK TO COLLECT

VETERANS BENEFITS.

DON'T BELIEVE ME?

ASK 90-YEAR-OLD D-DAY VETERAN

COLBERT T. STEVENSON.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE, SIR.

FORTUNATELY, THERE ARE HEROES

OUT THERE LOOKING OUT FOR THE

REST OF US.

TONIGHT WE SALUTE ONE.

>> SOCIETY REQUIRES LAWS IN

ORDER.

POLICEMEN ARE THE HEROES WHO

UPHOLD THAT ORDER.

BUT EVEN THEY CAN MAKE MISTAKE.

>> NEW CHARGES HAVE BEEN FILED

AGAINST THE PLIFRP WHO ADMITS TO

CONFISCATING MARIJUANA AND THEN

BAKING IT IN BROWNIES.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S IN THE

BROWNIES AND I THINK TIME IS

GOING BY REALLY, REALLY, REALLY

SLOW.

>> SO WHEN THE POLICE FALL DOWN

ON THE JOB, WHO STANDS UP FOR

US?

MEET JIMMY JUSTICE.

>> I ONLY CARRY A VIDEO CAMERA

WITH ME WHEREVER I GO AND ANY

TIME I SEE A POLICE OFFICER

DOING SOMETHING WRONG, I CAN

FILM IT AND PUT IT ON YOUTUBE

FOR THE WORLD TO SEE.

>> YOU JUST BROKE THE LAW!

>> JIMMY'S GOTCHA VIDEOS HAVE

GARNERED MILLIONS OF HITS ON

YOUTUBE.

ENOUGH TO EARN JIMMY JUSTICE THE

TITLE "DIFFERENCE MAKER."

WHO IS JIMMY JUSTICE?

>> I'M JUST YOUR AVERAGE NEW

YORKER WHO'S SICK AND TIRED OF

WATCHING THE POLICE DEPARTMENT

ABUSE THEIR POWER, ABUSE THEIR

AUTHORITY SUPERMAN WAS A

CHILDHOOD HERO OF MINE AND HE

WOULD STAND UP FOR JUSTICE.

>> LIKE EVERY SUPERHERO, JIMMY

JUSTICE HAS A UNIQUE ABILITY.

WHAT IS JIMMY'S SUPERPOWER?

>> JIMMY JUSTICE' REALLY, REALLY

ANNOYING.

>> YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COVER

YOUR BADGE.

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COVER YOUR

BADGE!

HE HAS A CAMERA!

OH, THAT'S DANGEROUS!

I'M CALLING FOR BACKUP.

WAHH!

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO WEAR

THAT?

HIDE YOUR FACE!

I ALREADY GOT YOUR FACE ON

VIDEO!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, BITE

ME WITH YOUR GOLD TOOTH?

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

WEARING A PEA COAT.

IT'S A LITTLE SECRETIVE.

WAAH.

YOUR DAYS OF RUNNING AROUND THIS

CITY LIKE A COWBOY ARE OVER!

I AM JIMMY JUSTICE!

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

>> JIMMY HAS BEEN THE DYNAMIC

DOUCHEBAG FOR AS LONG AS WE CAN

REMEMBER.

>> I'VE BEEN CALLED A PEST, A

GADFLY, AN ASS (BLEEP), A PIECE

OF CRAP.

DOESN'T DETERMINE ME IN ANY WAY,

SHAPE, OR FORM.

>> LIKE ALL SUPERHEROES, JIMMY

LEADS A DOUBLE LIFE.

BY DAY HE'S A MILD-MANNERED

AUDIO SYSTEMS ENGINEER.

BUT BY SLIGHTLY LATER IN THE DAY

HE'S A STALKER OF POLICE.

AND, OF COURSE, HE HAS A TRUSTY

SIDEKICK.

>> I AM ABSOLUTELY NOT JIMMY

JUSTICE'S SIDEKICK.

>> JUST WHAT A SIDEKICK WOULD

SAY.

A SIDEKICK CONCERNED FOR JIMMY'S

SAFETY.

>> I SAW THESE VIDEOS AND THE

FIRST THING I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS,

WOW, ONE DAY SOMEBODY'S GOING TO

KICK HIS ASS.

>> OH, BUT THAT'S NOT GOING TO

BE EASY.

TELL THEM WHY, JIMMY.

>> I'M TRAINED IN JUDO AND

JUJITSU AND I'M NOT AFRAID OF

SOMEBODY TRYING TO KICK MY ASS.

>> YEAH!

BRING IT ON!

(LAUGHTER)

I WILL NOT BE INTIMIDATED.

I'M GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS AS

LONG AS I HAVE TO.

>> AND LIKE MANY SUPERHEROES...

>> WHO IS SPIDER-MAN?

HE'S A CRIMINAL.

>> JIMMY JUSTICE IS OFTEN

MISUNDERSTOOD.

>> I THINK JIMMY JUSTICE IS A

BOOB.

>> DON'T YOU MEAN SUPERBOOB?

>> I THINK JIMMY JOHNSON IS

OBNOXIOUS AND BORDERLINE

COMMITTING CRIMES WHILE HE'S

DOING HIS VIDEO.

>> WHEN I CATCH COPS VIOLATING

THE LAW I ALWAYS TRY TO BE

RESPECTFUL.

>> ARE YOU RETARDD?

ARE YOU ON DRUGS?

YOU BROKE THE LAW!

YOU ANIMAL.

>> BEING REALLY ANNOYING IS NOT

A GOOD IDEA.

>> WHY NOT

>> IT'S NOT PROFESSIONAL, IT'S

COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.

>> BUT SOMETIMES IT WORKS.

>> NOT IN MY EXPERIENCE.

>> SOMETIMES IT WORKS.

>> NO, I'VE NOT SEEN IT WORK

BEFORE.

>> SOMETIMES.

>> NO.

>> ANY TIME?

>> NO, NEVER.

>> WELL, SOMETIMES, BUT CLEARLY

JIMMY'S DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

>> THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE

PUBLIC AGREE WITH ME.

90% OF THE MAIL THAT I GET IS

POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGING AND

ONLY 10% ARE DEATH THREATS.

(LAUGHTER)

>> WITH MOVES LIKE THESE IT'S

GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN 10% OF

NEW YORKERS TO STOP JIMMY FROM

HIS STOLL LEM COMMITMENT TO

BEING A COMPLETE TOOL FOR

JUSTICE.

>> GET THAT CAMERA OUT OF MY

FACE!

>> GET YOUR FACE OUT OF MY

CAMERA!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ENFORCE THE

LAW!

WAAH.

I AM JIMMY JUSTICE!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JIMMY.

YOU, SIR, ARE TRULY AN N.Y.P.D.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NATION, IF YOU'RE POOR, DON'T

BLAME WALL STREET.

THERE'S ENOUGH OPPORTUNITY OUT

THERE FOR HALF THE COUNTRY TO BE

IN THE TOP 1%.

(LAUGHTER)

WITH MY HELP AND THE HELP OF THE

BIG RED BUTTON.

(LAUGHTER)

>> SELL YOUR CHILDREN FOR CAB

FARE!

>> Stephen: THIS IS STEPHEN

COLBERT'S "BEARS AND BALLS."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FIRST UP ON "BEARS AND BALLS," A

LOT OF INVESTORS ARE RUNNING

SCARED BUT THERE'S ONE

INVESTMENT GUARANTEED TO RETAIN

ITS VALUE,, BOW LA MONKEYS.

NO?

MAGIC BEANS.

NO?

CELEBRITY RELICS.

YES.

CELEBRITY RELICS.

EVERYBODY WANTS DOROTHY'S RUBY

SLIPPERS, MADONNA'S CONE BRA, OR

J. EDGAR HOOVERS RUBY SLIPPERS

AND CONE BRA.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE A

CHUNK OF CHANGE ON CELEBRITIES,

YOU NEED A CHUNK OF CELEBRITY.

CASE IN POINT: JOHN LENNON'S

ABSCESSED TOOTH RECENTLY FETCHED

MORE THAN

$31,000 AT AUCTION.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

AND I'M SURE JOHN LENNON WOULD

APPROVE OF THE BUYING AND

SELLING OF BODY PARTS.

WHEN HE SANG "I WANT TO HOLD

YOUR HAND" HE NEVER SAID IT HAD

TO BE ATTACHED TO HIS BODY.

AND, FOLKS, THERE'S NEVER BEEN A

BETTER TIME INVEST IN THINGS

THAT FALL OFF CELEBRITIES.

FOR INSTANCE, I AM PROUD TO

OFFER THIS BABY FOOD JAR FULL OF

DANNY DEVITO'S DOE NAIL

CLIPPINGS.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

I GOT THEM WITH NOTHING MORE

THAN A PAIN OF CLIPPERS, A RAG,

AND A JAR OF CHLOROFORM.

BY THE WAY, DANNY, YOU SNORE.

OF COURSE, ANY CELEBRITY BODY

APARTMENT INVESTMENTS THERE ARE

RISKS.

I LOST MILLIONS WHEN THE ERIC

ROBERTS BUBBLE BURST.

AND IT WASN'T EASY GETTING A

PIECE OF HIM.

>> THEY TOOK MY THUMB!

>> Stephen: HEY, I'M THE ONE WHO

SHOULD BE CRYING.

I CAN'T UNLOAD THIS THING NOW.

(LAUGHTER)

IT'S A SAD STORY.

THE SAFEST INVESTMENT OF ALL...

>> CRYSTAL METH!

>> Stephen: NO.

>> SHAVED DWARF PORNOGRAPHY.

>> Stephen: NOT IN THE LOWER 48.

>> GOLD!

>> Stephen: YES!

GOLD!

I LOVE EVERYTHING GOLD RELATED.

GOLD BOUILLON, GOLD COINS, GOLD

BOND.

BECAUSE A FRESHLY POWDERED NUT

SACK NEVER GOES DOWN IN VALUE.

AND OF COURSE THE INVESTMENT

COMPANY GOLDLINE INTERVAGSNAL.

GOLDLINE HAS BEEN ENDORSED BY

EXPERTS FROM ACROSS THE FOX NEWS

LIKE MONICA CROWLEY, LAURA

INGRAM, SEAN HANNITY, AND

COMMODITIES ANALYST FOR FOX

BUSINESS, KLONDIKE ZEKE.

>> GOLD!

GOLD!

GOLD!

(LAUGHTER)

AND LIKE EVERY OTHER AD ON T.V.

TELLING ME HOW TO GET RICH QUICK

I TRUST GOLD MINES.

WHICH IS WHY I WAS SO SHOCKED TO

HEAR THIS.

>> LOCAL OFFICIALS?

N LOS ANGELES HAVE FILED A

19-COUNT CRIMINAL COMPLAINT

ALLEGING MISDEMEANOR FRAUD AND

THEFT BY THE COMPANY.

>> THE COMPANY TOUTED GOLD

BOUILLON, KEY EXECUTIVES

CONSPIRE TOGETHER TO CHEAT AND

DEFRAUD CONSUMERS BY STEERING

THEM TO HUGELY OVERPRICED

SO-CALLED COLLECTIBLE COINS-- A

BAIT-AND-SWITCH.

>> Stephen: OH, REALLY?

I INVESTED WITH GOLDLINE AND THE

COINS THEY SENT ME ARE BOTH

SHINY GOLD AND FILLED WITH

DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE.

(LAUGHTER)

THAT IS GOING TO GROW MY BOTTOM

LINE.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

FOLKS, IF THE GOLDLINE

EXECUTIVES ARE CONVICTED, THEY

COULD FACE A YEAR IN PRISON FOR

EACH OF THE 19 CHARGES AGAINST

THEM.

WHICH IS WHY TONIGHT I'M

OFFERING THEM A UNIQUE

INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

HI, I'M STEPHEN COLBERT.

ARE YOU A FORMER GOLDLINE

EXECUTIVE FACING JAIL?

THESE ARE SUCH UNCERTAIN TIMES

IN THE PRISON ECONOMY, IF YOU

DON'T WANT TO GET SHANKED IN THE

MESS LINE, YOU'LL NEED A

RELIABLE INVESTMENT.

SAFE, SECURE CIGARETTES FROM

SMOKELINE.

(LAUGHTER)

CIGARETTES ARE VALUED BY

EVERYONE FROM THE ARYAN

BROTHERHOOD TO THE LATIN KINGS.

AND CIGARETTES ARE A FUNGABLE

COMMODITY, THEY CAN BE USED TO

BUY EVERYTHING FROM TOILET HOOCH

TO INSURANCE AGAINST BEING BEAT

WITHIN A PILLOW CASE FULL OF

SOAP.

BEST OF ALL, YOU GOLD LINE EXECS

WILL APPRECIATE THAT THEY'RE NOT

REALLY CIGARETTES AT ALL, JUST

CUTUP DRINKING STRAWS STUFFED

WITH SAW DUST.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SMOKELINE, BECAUSE

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE STAR OF

"HAPPY FEET 2."

JIM?

>> THIS IS JUST ONE BIG OLD FOOT

AFTER THE OTHER.

NO ONE WILL LAUGH AT YOU, I

PROMISE.

COME ON.

♪ I DON'T CARE WHAT THE PEOPLE

SAY... ♪

>> ALL YOU'VE GOT TO THE DO IS

FEEL THE BEAT.

>> AND THAT IS THE ONLY MOVIE WE

WILL TALK ABOUT.

PLEASE WELCOME ELIJAH WOOD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ELIJAH, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR

JOINING ME TONIGHT.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> THAT'S A VERY DANGEROUS THING

YOU DID.

>> THAT EFFECT COST US $285

MILLION.

I'M SURE I'LL MAKE IT BACK.

>> WE'RE ALL IN.

>> Stephen: NOW, SIR, I'M A

LITTLE BIT WORRIED ABOUT THE

CLIP WE JUST SHOWED.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU PLAY A

PENGUIN.

IN THIS.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE REPRISING THE

ROLE OF MUMBLES.

>> CORRECT.

MUMBLE.

>> Stephen: MUMBLE.

ALL RIGHT, IF YOU WANT TO PLAY

ONE AT A TIME, THAT'S FINE.

(LAUGHTER)

MUMBLE FROM "HAPPY FEET" THIS IS

"HAPPY FEET 2."

I NOTICED IN THAT SHOT THERE OF

YOU WITH THE OTHER PENGUINS IT'S

WET ON THE ICE.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: THAT GLOBAL WARMING.

(LAUGHTER)

ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME FEEL

GUILTY ABOUT DRIVING MY AUDI

A-8.

>> IT'S CLIMATE CHANGE.

>> Stephen: OH, IS IT NOW?

REALLY?

IS THERE CLIMATE CHANGE IN

THERE?

>> THERE IS, A LITTLE BIT.

>> Stephen: WOULDN'T THAT MAKE

PENGUINS HAPPY.

S THAT WHY YOUR FEET ARE SO

HAPPY?

IT'S WARMER DOWN THERE FOR THEM.

IT MUST BE TERRIBLE.

I SAW THAT "MARCH OF THE

PENGUINS THING."

IT'S A NIGHTMARE.

>> BUT THEY'RE USED TO IT.

>> Stephen: YOU EVER EAT A

PENGUIN.

>> NO.

>> Stephen: IT'S LIKE CHICKEN

FISH.

(LAUGHTER)

DELICIOUS.

>> I IMAGINE.

>> Stephen: A LITTLE OILY,

PERHAPS?

DO YOU GET TIRED OF PEOPLE GOING

"HEY, YOU'RE THE PENGUIN FROM

HAPPY FEET!

"

>> THAT DOESN'T HAPPEN OFTEN.

(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: HEY IT'S THE KID

FROM "ICE STORM."

>> RIGHT!

>> Stephen: IT'S THE

SEVEN-YEAR-OLD SET, REALLY, THAT

WOULD HAVE EVER RECOGNIZED ME

FROM "HAPPY FEET."

THEY WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE ME

ANYWAY.

THEIR PARENTS WOULD HAVE TO SAY

"HE'S THE GUY IN HAPPY FEET."

>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU ACT SO

WELL WE CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU'RE

THAT PENGUIN.

(LAUGHTER)

>> RIGHT!

I DISAPPEAR INTO THAT ROLE.

>> Stephen: DID YOU DO ANY...

METHOD?

DID YOU HANG OUT WITH PENGUINS

FOR A WHILE?

GET INTO IT AT ALL?

>> THERE'S AN EXTENSIVE

REHEARSAL PERIOD IN ANTARCTICA.

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO CLUTCH

AN EGG BETWEEN YOUR LEGS?

>> THERE WAS ALSO HUDDLE... WHEN

THE PENGUINS HAVE TO... THEY

HAVE TO HUDDLE AGAINST THE COLD

DURING THE HARSH WINTER, THERE

WAS HUDDLE TRAINING.

HUDDLING TOGETHER.

>> THAT WILL COME IN HANDY FOR

THOSE OCCUPY WALL STREET PEOPLE.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

WINTER IS COMING.

>> Stephen: WINTER IS COMING.

ABSOLUTELY.

NOW, LISTEN, I RESISTED AS LONG

AS I CAN.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT I'M ABOUT TO BREAK.

I'M A FAN OF "LORD OF THE RINGS"

MOVIES.

>> I'VE HEARD THIS.

>> Stephen: NOW YOU HAVE... YOU

HAVE SOMETHING HERE.

YOU HAVE SOMETHING DOWN THERE.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE HERE?

>> I HAVE STING.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

>> FROM THE FILMS.

>> Stephen: DAMN.

(APPLAUSE)

NOW THIS IS THE ONE THAT YOU...

THAT YOU... THAT YOU... MAY I?

>> PLEASE.

>> Stephen: IT'S GOT EDGE ON IT

THERE.

>> A LITTLE SHARP.

THEY MAKE THEM FOR REAL.

>> Stephen: IS THIS THE ONE YOU

CARRIED THROUGHOUT THE MOVIE?

>> YES, THAT'S ONE OF THEM.

WE HAD A COUPLE.

THAT WAS HERO SWORD IF IT WERE

EVER TO BE SHOT IN CLOSEUP.

>> Stephen: EITHER THAT ONE OR

MAYBE THIS ONE THAT...

(LAUGHTER)

THAT PETER JACKSON GAVE TO ME.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M JUST AS

MUCH FRODO AS YOU ARE.

I'M JUST SAYING THAT I'VE GOT...

WOULD YOU MIND IF WE JUST

LET'S...

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

... THAT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME

I'VE EVER BEEN IN A SWORD FIGHT.

NOT IN LONG, THOUGH.

NOW YOU'RE ALSO IN "THE HOW

ABOUT" MOVIE COMING OUT NEXT

YEAR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO GO

BACK DOWN?

>> I WAS JUST DOWN THERE ABOUT A

MONTH.

I'M PROBABLY GOING TO VISIT.

THEY'RE SHOOTING UNTIL JUNE SO I

WANT TO BE THERE.

>> Stephen: IF YOU SEE HIM WILL

YOU GIVE HIM A NOTE FOR ME?

>> I WILL.

>> Stephen: MORGAN DAHLY.

>> IAN McKEL LANN FOR YOU?

>> Stephen: I COULD TELL HE WAS

A HUMAN.

HE DIDN'T SEEM LIKE A MYAR.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: DID I JUST THROW

DOWN.

>> YOU DID.

>> Stephen: DID YOU MEET

RATAGAS.

>> Stephen: I DIDN'T... I CAN'T

SAY ANYTHING.

I WENT DOWN THERE AND I KNOW

THINGS AND I CAN'T TELL.

I KNOW THINGS, YOU ARE THINGS.

IT'S JUST ABSOLUTELY... I KNOW

THINGS ABOUT THAT MOVIE THAT I

WANT TO BROADCAST.

I...

>> WE NEED TO HAVE A

CONVERSATION.

>> Stephen: HOW ABOUT IN JUST A

MINUTE.

CAN YOU STICK AROUND FOR A

SECOND AND WE CAN TALK ABOUT

THESE THINGS PEOPLE WON'T GET TO

KNOW ABOUT.

ELIJAH, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

ELIJAH WOOD, "HAPPY FEET 2" IT'S

IN THEATER THIS IS FRIDAY.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELL, THAT'S IT FOR

THE "REPORT," EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.

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