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December 17, 2014 - Phil Klay

  • Episode: 11039
  • Views: 42,178

The Report's set lives on in cyberspace, Stephen holds a yard sale to clear out his studio, the U.S. lifts its Cuban embargo, and author Phil Klay discusses "Redeployment." (21:27)

>> Stephen: TONIGHT, I FINDA GREAT NEW WAY TO MAKE A

QUICK BUCK, I'LL TELL YOUHOW FOR JUST $5.

THEN THE PRESIDENTNORMALIZES RELATIONS WITH

CUBA.

NOW IF HE COULD JUSTNORMALIZE RELATIONS WITH

FLORIDA.

AND MY GUEST PHIL KLAY IS ANAUTHOR AND IRAQ VETERAN

WHO JUST WON THE NATIONALBOOK AWARD.

SO THAT'S ONE THING WE WONIN IRAQ.

NASA HAS FOUND METHANE ONMARS, THOUGH I BELIEVE IT

ORIGINATED FROM URANUS.

THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT.

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, THANK YOU

SO MUCH.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN!")

>> Stephen: THANK YOU,LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US INHERE, OUT THERE, ALL AROUND

THE WORLD. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,MR AND MRS AMERICA AND

ALL THE SHIPS AT SEA. FOLKSTHANK YOU SO MUCH I MR. SO

GRATEFUL THAT OFF YOU AREHERE, ALL OF YOU ARE AT HOME

WATCHING.

THIS IS MY LAST SHOW THAT ISN'TMY LAST SHOW.

AND I HAVE TO TELL YOUTHERE IS SO MUCH I'M GOING

TO MISS.

LIKE MY BELOVED STUDIO.

I HAVE ENJOYED SO MANYMEMORIES HERE.

I HAVE ALSO ENJOYED SO MANYBOTTLES OF BUD LITE LIME

THAT THE MEMORIES ARE ALITTLE HAZY.

BUT TOMORROW I WILL CONCLUDEMY FINAL BROADCAST.

SAY MY FOND FAREWELL, ANGRYADIOSES, AND MY LUKE-WARM

LATERS AND WALK OUT.

AND THEN EVERYTHING IN HEREWILL BE SHRED AND SOLD AS

INDUSTRIAL MEAT FILLER TO ANATIONAL FAST-FOOD CHAIN.

NOW I CAN'T SAY WHICH ONE.

BECAUSE THEY ARE SPONSORS.

BUT LET'S JUST SAY THATBA-BA-BA-BA, IT'S

WHITE CASTLE.(APPLAUSE)

I COULD GO FOR A CRATE.THE TWO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS

ARE MY ICONIC DESK AND MYLEGENDARY FIREPLACE.

AND YOU CAN WIN THEM, JUSTGO TO OMAZE.COM/COLBERT AND

DONATE $10 FOR EVERY CHANCETO WIN.

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT THEYELLOW RIBBON FUND AND

DONORS CHOOSE.

BUT DO IT QUICK.

THE RAFFLE ENDS AT 3:59EASTERN TIME TONIGHT.

YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

JUST LIKE YOU DON'T REGRETANY OTHER DECISION YOU HAVE

MADE AT 4 A.M.

AND NATION, I JUST WANT YOUTO KNOW, IF YOU ARE ONE OF

THOSE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHOIS SAD YOU WERE NEVER ABLE

TO ATTEND MY SHOW IN PERSON,THANKS TO THE FRIENDLY NERDS

AT GOOGLE MAP AND ELECTRICELECTRIC PULP, YOU CAN NOW TAKE

VIRTUAL TOUR OF "THE COLBERTREPORT" SET.

YOU CAN WALK RIGHT UP ANDYOU CAN CLICK ON THE

HISTORIC ARTIFACT ON PIEBOOK SHELF.

FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN SEE MYROCK 'EM SOCK 'EM ROBOTS.

AND LEARN THAT I PUT THEM ONTHE SHELF BACK IN 2005 TO

MARK THE FIFTH ANNIVERSARYOF THE SUPREME COURT BUSH V

GORE RULING.

NOT THE TOY I WANTED BUT THESTORE WAS ALL OUT OF HUNGRY

HUNGRY SCALIAS.

AND FOLKS, JUST BECAUSE I AMGOING DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONE.

BECAUSE I ALSO COMMISSIONEDFRENCH STREET ARTIST AND

FRIEND OF THE SHOW JR TOPAINT A MURAL ON THE ROOF

OF MY STUDIO.

JR'S WORK HAS APPEAREDAROUND THE WORLD AND

ESTABLISHED HIM AS ONE OFTHE MOST IMPORTANT STREET

ARTISTS WORKING TODAY.

HE COULD EVEN BE THE NEXT ME,I MEAN BANKSY.

OOOH.

WHOEVER BANKSY IS.

NOW-- NOW THANKS TO JR THEREWILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE

SOMETHING SPECIAL HERE ONTOP OF MY STUDIO TO CATCH

YOUR EYE.

SPECIFICALLY, MY EYE, INSUPER GIGANTO ROOF

VISION.

LOOK AT THAT THING.

NOW I UNDERSTAND, IUNDERSTAND THAT GIANT

UNBLINKING EYEBALLS OFPOWERFUL BEINGS ON TOP OF

BUILDINGS HAVE GOTTEN A BADRAP LATELY.

BUT I JUST WANTED TO LEAVEYOU, THE NATION, MY WATCHFUL

GAZE THAT PROTECTED YOU FORSO LONG AGAINST THREATS THAT

YOU COULD NOT SEE.

ALSO I WANTED TO FREAK OUTPEOPLE STUCK IN A HOLDING

PATTERN OVER LAGUARDIA.

OF COURSE, OVER THE LASTNINE YEARS I HAVE ACQUIRED

SO MANY MEANINGFUL KEEPSAKESLEFT OVER VACSA PRODUCTS,

PINTS OF AMERICAN-CONE DREAMAND MY ONE OF A KIND MICHAEL

STIPE WHO HAS BEEN SITTINGON MY SHELF OVER THERE FOR

THREE YEARS.

>> WHEN SOMEONE STOPS ME -->> HEY, THAT'S YOU IN THE

CORNER.

IT'S ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT.

READ YOUR CONTRACT.

SO, FOLKS, THE QUESTION ISHOW DO YOU GET RID OF NINE

YEARS OF COLLECTED CRAP?

WELL, I DID IT IN THE MOSTAMERICAN WAY POSSIBLE.

WITH A YARD SALE.

>> WE PUT UP SIGNS ALL OVERTHE CITY INVITING THE NATION

TO COME TO THE COLBERTREPORT STUDIOS FOR THE SALE

OF A LIFETIME.

BACK ON 54th STREET I GOTMYSELF A FRESH PACK OF

SWISHER SWEETS AND WAITEDFOR THE LUCKY THRONGS TO

ROLL IN.

>> EVERYTHING WAS USED ON THESHOW, OR WAS GIVEN TO ME

PERSONALLY.

THAT'S MY READING -->> HOW MUCH FOR THAT.

>> $1.

>> A $1.

>> THAT IS ABC NEWS, THATORIGINALLY BELONGED TO

GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS.

NO CREDIT CARDS, NO IT'SCASH ONLY.

YOU BRING CREDIT CARDS TO AYARD SALE?

LET ME WRITE DOWN YOURCREDIT-CARD NUMBER, VISA,

PERFECT, THANK YOU VERYMUCH.

YOU HOLD THESE AND I WILLWRITE DOWN YOUR NUMBER.

266-- AND EXPIRATION 3/16.

AND THE FOUR DIGIT CODE.

9-- AND WAS'S YOUR MOTHER'SMAIDEN NAME?

COULD YOU SPELL THAT,PLEASE.

>> THIS IS A FLIGHT JACKET IWORE WITH THE THUNDERBIRDS.

THERE MIGHT BE VOMIT INTHAT.

ALL RIGHT WHAT HAVE WE GOTHERE.

A PASSPORT FOR MY BALLS, ANDA BOTTLE OF ASS JUICE. LAST FOUR

DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIALSECURITY NUMBER.

>> 122 -->> PROBABLY JUST GIVE ME

YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY CARD.

>> THERE IS THE SPEECH IGAVE TO THE CORRESPONDENT'S

ASSOCIATION.

I DIG HITLER'S GOLD.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT IS ANOTHER $1.

EVERYTHING ON MY SHELVES HADTO GO.

EVERYTHING.

I EVEN MADE SOME NEW FRIENDSLIKE THIS GENTLEMAN FROM THE

OLD COUNTRY.

>> YOU HAVE A FIRMHANDSHAKE.

WHAT DID YOU DO, WERE YOU ABUTCHER?

WHAT DID YOU DO.

>> A LITTLE BIT.

>> A LITTLE BIT.

YOU KILLED PEOPLE IN THEWAR.

>> YEAH.

>> HOW MANY?

>> THIS IS AN AMERICAN FLAGMOUSETRAP.

WHAT IS YOUR PIN NUMBER FORYOUR ATM, YOUR PIN NUMBER,

YEAH.

>> IS THAT ONE ITEM?

>> NO, THOSE ARE TWO ITEMS.

>> HEY, HEY, THE DOG ATE THEMUFFIN.

THAT'S YOUR SECOND ITEM,RINGO OR PAUL.

>> I'LL TAKE RINGO.

OF ALL THE BEATLES YOU'RETAKING RINGO?

MY YARD SALE HAD SOMETHINGFOR EVERYONE.

>> OKAY.

>> OH.

>> OH.

>> I CAN CLEAN THAT UP FORYOU IF YOU WANT.

>> OH, NO.

>> NO?

>> DON'T CLEAN IT.

>> NO?

>> NO.

>> AND DO YOU HAVE A-- A KEY,A HOUSE KEY OR SOMETHING

LIKE THAT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I JUST WANTED TO-- IS THISTHE KEY TO YOUR APARTMENT.

>> YEAH.

>> I JUST WANT TO TRACE THAT.

THAT IS GREAT.

AND WHEN YOU ARE GENERALLYNOT HOME?

THERE'S $125 WORTH OF CIGARETTESIN HERE, THE PRICE TAG SAYS $1.

WHAT ARE YOU OFFERING ME.

>> 50 CENTS.

>> I'LL TAKE IT.

>> THAT'S NICE, I DIDN'TREALIZE IT WAS THAT NICE.

I'M KEEPING THAT.

THANK YOU.(LAUGHTER)

OH, THESE ARE NICE. ENJOY MY BIGBRASS BALLS

IPAD MINI. THAT IS $1.

IF THERE IS ANY PORN ON THATiPAD, IT'S NOT MINE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THAT WAS IN MY OFFICE FORNINE YEARS.

SEE YOU, BUDDY.

>> HEY, GUYS, EASY STREETSOUP AND AFGHANDYLAND

I GOT A BOOK OF ONE OF HISSPEECHES.

>> HOW MUCH HAVE YOU PAID?

>> I GOT COMEDY ARTS 2006PERSON OF THE YEAR AWARD FOR

STEPHEN COLBERT.

I PAID $1 FOR IT.

>> VERY GOOD, VERY GOODPEOPLE, THAT IS VERY GOOD

SALE.

ABSOLUTELY.

INCREDIBLE CHEAP PRICES.

IT IS VERY GOOD THINGS FORNOTHING.

>> GIVE ME 90 SCRATCHERS.

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> THERE YOU GO, COME TO

POPPA, COME ON, I'M FEELINGIT.

COME ON, GOD DAMMIT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

NATION, NATION, I GOT SUCHURGENT NEWS RIGHT NOW, I

DON'T EVEN HAVE TIME TO TELLYOU WHAT IT IS.

THIS IS COLD WAR UPDATE.

FOLKS, IF YOU ARE LOYALWATCHERS OF THIS SHOW YOU

KNOW I HAVE SAID FOR THELAST NINE YEARS THE COLD

WAR NEVER ENDED AND NOW I HAVEPROOF BECAUSE TODAY IT ENDED.

>> BREAKING NEWS, A DRAMATICSHIFT IN U.S. RELATIONS WITH

CUBA.

THE CUBAN EMBARGO THAT HASBEEN IN PLACE SINCE 1963

WILL BE LIFTED BY THISPRESIDENT.

>> WE WILL END AN OUTDATEDAPPROACH THAT FOR DECADES

HAS FAILED TO ADVANCE OURINTERESTS.

AND INSTEAD, WE WILL BEGINTO NORMALIZE RELATIONS

BETWEEN OUR TWO COUNTRIES.

>> WHAT?

>> NO, NO!, BAD, BAD NATION.

CUBA IS AN UNREPENTANTCOMMUNIST DICTATORSHIP

THAT SPENT DECADES THUMBINGITS NOSE AT AMERICA.

WHICH REMINDED ME IT HASBEEN 4,555 DAYS, DONDE ESTA

ELIAN?

AND THE PRESIDENT DID THIS,FOLKS.

WHEN THE CIA WAS THIS CLOSETO TAKING DOWN FIDEL CASTRO

WITH THE DEADLIEST WEAPON OFALL.

AND OBAMA OH, MAKE NOMISTAKE, OBAMA HAS GOT A

WHOLE LOT OF PLANS TO MAKECUBA MORE LIBRE.

>> THE SWEEPING CHANGES COMEAFTER CUBA RELEASED AN

AMERICAN PRISONER ALONG WITHA HIGH LEVEL SPY.

>> IT TAKES CUBA OFF THE LISTOF TERRORIST STATES, EASES

BANKING REGULATIONS

>> PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TOTRAVEL TO CUBA AND BRING

BACK CUBAN CIGARS LEGALLY,UP TO $100.

>> THE U.S. EMBASSY WILL OPENUP IN HAVANA SO THERE

CAN BE DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS.

>> Stephen: WE DON'T NEED ANEMBASSY IN HAVANA.

WE ALREADY HAVE AN EMBASSYIN CUBA.

IT'S CALLED GITMO

OF COURSE I CAN'T BLAME ALLOF THIS ON BARACK OBAMA.

SOME OF THE BLAME GOES TOPOPE-BAMA.

>> POPE FRANCIS BEHIND THESCENES HAD WRITTEN LETTERS

TO PRESIDENT OBAMA ANDPRESIDENT CASTRO SEEING AN

OPENING HERE.

AND THE VATICAN BROKERED ASECRET MEETING BETWEEN THE

U.S. AND CUBAN GOVERNMENT.

>> Stephen: COME ON, FRANK!

IS THERE NOTHING THISLUNATIC WON'T HEAL WITH

COMPASSION?

NO, I'M SORRY, THAT DOES T II'M CALLING FOR A TRADE

EMBARGO ON VATICAN CITY.

AMERICANS WILL JUST HAVE TOLIVE WITHOUT THEIR MAJOR

EXPORT, HARLEQUIN SECURITYPANTALOONS.

I KNOW, IT'S GOING TO BEHARD.

WELL, FOLKS, OBAMA ISN'TGOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS

JUST BECAUSE I'M GOING OFFTHE AIR.

THE MINUTE MY SHOW ENDS, I'MON A PLANE TO HAVANA TO

PERSONALLY INVESTIGATE THISTRAVESTY.

I WILL GO TO EVERYPRISTINE BEACH.

I WILL SCOUT EVERY RUMDISTILLERY AND I DON'T CARE

HOW MANY 1957 CHEVIES I HAVETO BUY FOR $200.

UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE, IWILL NOT REST EXCEPT IN A

HAMMOCK.

WE WILL HAVE MORE COVERAGEON THIS STORY TOMORROW, OR

REALLY NOT ALL ALL

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY,MY GUEST TONIGHT, PHIL KLAY

WON THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARDFOR HIS SHORT STORIES ABOUT

SERVING IN IRAQ.

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BESHORT.

THEY ENDED UP GOING ON FORTEN YEARS.

PLEASE WELCOME PHIL KLAY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, PHIL.

THANKS FOR COMING ON.

>> THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.

>> YOU ARE A MARINE VETERANWHO SERVED IN ANBAR PROVINCE

IN IRAQ FROM JANUARY 2007 TOFEBRUARY 2008.

AND YOU HAVE WRITTEN ACOLLECTION OF SHORT STORIES

ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE CALLED"REDEPLOYMENT" AND IT

RECENTLY WON THE NATIONALBOOK AWARD FOR FICTION AND

WAS NAMED BY "THE NEW YORKTIMES" AS ONE OF THE TEN

BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FIRST OF ALL,

CONGRATULATIONS.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: THE BOOK HAS GOT12 STORIES ABOUT THE IRAQ

WAR.

BUT DO WE REALLY NEED 12STORIES TO TELL THE IRAQ

WAR?

ISN'T IT, YOU KNOW, CHAPTERONE, AMERICA KICKS ASS.

CHAPTER TWO, AMERICA TAKESNAMES.

CHAPTER THREE, MISSIONACCOMPLISHED.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO TELLWITH YOUR STORIES?

>> WELL, I THINK YOU NEED ALOT MORE THAN JUST 12

STORIES.

THIS IS MY OFFERING TO THECONVERSATION

ABOUT IRAQ.

I THINK WE DESPERATELY NEEDTO BE HAVING.

AND I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO ALOT MORE STORIES ABOUT IRAQ

TO COME.

>> DON'T GET ME WRONG, I AM NOGREATER SUPPORTER OF THE

TROOPS THAN YOURS TRULY.

BUT THE IRAQ WAR IS OVER.

AND IT WAS VERY DIVISIVE,OKAY.

TOWARD THE END THERE, YOUKNOW, SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT IT

WAS GOOD.

SOME PEOPLE THOUGHT IT WASBAD.

I DIDN'T GO SO I THOUGHT ITWAS GOOD.

I WANTED TO BUT I WAS BUSYHERE USING THE TROOPS AS A

CUDGEL AGAINST PEOPLE WHODISAGREE WITH ME.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU.

DO WE NEED TO STILL THINKABOUT THE WAR?

I MEAN THE WAR IS OVER.

WHY CAN'T WE MOVE ON, WE'REGOING TO HAVE A NEW WAR IN

IRAQ, SOON.

DON'T WE NEED TO -->> IT'S NOT REALLY OVER,

THAT IS ONE THING.

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU MEANIT'S NOT OVER?

>> IT'S NOT OVER FOR THEIRAQI PEOPLE, CERTAINLY.

WE'RE STILL INVOLVED INIRAQ.

I THINK THAT, YOU KNOW, WHENWE GO TO WAR, THE

OBLIGATIONS THAT WE HAVE, ASA COUNTRY, THEY'RE

LONG-LASTING.

THEY'RE LONG-LASTING INTERMS OF, YOU KNOW, WHAT WE

OWE THE VETERANS WHO COMEHOME.

SOME OF THEM, YOU KNOW, WHONEED LONG TERM MEDICAL CARE.

AND YOU KNOW, WE ALSO HAVEAN OBLIGATION TO THINK VERY

SERIOUSLY ABOUT HOW WE USEMILITARY FORCE WHETHER WE

HAVE DONE SO WISELY AND WHATLESSONS WE CAN DRAW FOR THE

FUTURE TO MAKE US A MORERESPONSIBLE NATION.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ARE THERE PEOPLE THAT YOU

SERVED WITH WHO CAN LOOKAT THESE STORIES AND SAY I

KNOW WHAT INFLUENCED YOU?

I KNOW THAT SITUATION?

I WAS THERE IN THAT STORY.

>> WELL, I DID INTERVIEW ALOT OF PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, I WENT TO IRAQ ANDDREW ON MY OWN EXPERIENCES.

THERE'S NO ONE PERSON WHOIS JUST A SORT OF THINLY

FICTIONALIZED INDIVIDUAL.

BECAUSE I WOULD FEELCONSTRAINED, SOMEHOW.

I DON'T THINK I COULD BE AS,IN A WEIRD WAY AS TRUTHFUL

AS I WANTED TO BE IN TRYINGTO CHASE DOWN THE

EXPERIENCES I WAS TRYING TOARTICULATE ON THE PAGE.

>> Stephen: YOU COULD BEMORE TRUTHFUL BY MAKING

THINGS UP.

>> YES, ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

YOU KNOW, THE PERFECTEXAMPLE OF THIS IS THE ILIAD. IF

THERE WAS A TROJAN WARVETERAN HERE AND YOU GAVE

HIM THE ILIAD HE WOULDPROBABLY COMPLAIN ABOUT ALL

THE INACCURACIES.

>> Stephen: THAT'S NOT WHATACHILLES ARMOUR LOOKED LIKE?

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: RHESUS WASN'TWORTH IT.

>> AND YET EVERY GENERATIONSINCE HAS READ THAT BOOK AND

SAID, YOU KNOW, HE'SDESCRIBING WAR.

HE UNDERSTANDS THEEXPERIENCE.

>> Stephen: WELL, AS SOMEBODYWHO, YOU KNOW, WANTS TO

SUPPORT THE TROOPS AND EVENMORE IMPORTANTLY WANTS TO

SEEM LIKE SOMEONE WHOSUPPORTS THE TROOPS,

WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU THINKTHAT WE NEED TO UNDERSTAND

ABOUT THOSE WHO SERVED INIRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN.

AND ANY OF OUR WARS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WE NEED TOUNDERSTAND ABOUT THIS

EXPERIENCE THAT WE DON'TUNDERSTAND?

>> I MEAN, FIRST OFF, THEREIS NO ONE EXPERIENCE.

IT'S PART OF WHY I WROTE 12STORIES, THEY ARE ALL FROM

DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES,DIFFERENT NARRATORS DOING

DIFFERENT JOBS, THERE IS ANINFANTRYMAN A CHAPLAIN,

A MORTUARY AFFAIRS SPECIALIST

FOREIGN SERVICE OFFICER, ANDTHE OTHER THING I THINK THAT

IS IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND,YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST WHAT

YOU EXPERIENCE OVERSEAS,IT'S ALSO WHAT IT FEELS LIKE

TO COME HOME.

WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO COMEHOME AS PART OF, YOU KNOW,

VERY SMALL FRACTION OFAMERICA THAT SERVED.

>> Stephen: LESS THAN ONEPERCENT

>> RIGHT.

TO THE COUNTRY THAT SENT YOUOVER.

AND YOU KNOW, ULTIMATELY,THESE WARS ARE OUR

RESPONSIBILITY.

IF, YOU KNOW, IF YOU VOTEDFOR BUSH OR YOU VOTED FOR

OBAMA, IF YOU'RE A TAXPAYER

IF YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTIONTO THE WARS AT ALL, PROBABLY

ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T PAYATTENTION TO THE WARS AT ALL,

THESE ARE YOUR WARS.

AND WE ALL AS CITIZENS HAVEA RESPONSIBILITY TO THINK

ABOUT THEM AND JOIN IN THATCONVERSATION.

>> Stephen: YOU WENT OVER-- YOUWENT OVER IN 2007.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WHEN IRAQ WASTHE WORST PLACE ON THE

PLANET.

THE SURGE HADN'T STARTEDYET.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: AND REALLY,THERE WASN'T A SENSE THAT IT

COULD EVER BE TURNED AROUND.

SO YOU LEFT FROM AN AMERICATHAT FELT THAT THIS THING

WAS UNSAVEABLE.

AND YOU CAME BACK A YEARLATER, HAD THE SURGE STARTED

AT THAT POINT?

>> SO I WAS THEREFROM-- THROUGH THE SURGE AND

THROUGH A LOT OF THE

ANBAR AWAKENING, ANBAR HADBEEN THE LOST PROVINCE IN

2006.

AND THEN VIOLENCE RADICALLYDECREASED DURING THAT TIME.

SO A LOT OF US LEFT IRAQFEELING VERY POSITIVELY

ABOUT WHAT WE THOUGHT HADHAPPENED THERE.

AND OF COURSE NOW A LOT OFVETS ARE LOOKING AT IRAQ AND

WHAT IS HAPPENING.

AND TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OFIT.

I TOOK THE SHOW OVER THERE FORJUST ONE WEEK IN 2009.

HEY, IT'S HOT.

THAT'S SOMETHING THAT MIGHTBE HARD TO CONVEY IN PRINT.

WE LANDED AT 10:30 AT NIGHTAND IT WAS 125 DEGREES.

HOW MUCH TALCUM POWDER DIDYOU GO THROUGH?

BECAUSE AS FAR AS CAN TELLTHE ENTIRE COUNTRY IS COATED

WITH ORANGE TALCUM POWDER.

>> IT'S A VERY SWEATY PLACE.

UH-HUH.

ALSO,.

>> Stephen: BACON LIKE PORKPRODUCTS YOU CAN'T ORDER IT

OVER THERE IN A RESTAURANT,IN THE MIDDLE EAST,

EVEN-- WE WERE ON OUR WAYTHROUGH KUWAIT TO GO THIS

THERE, COULDN'T GET LIKE ABLT.

WHEN I GOT TO CAMP VICTORY,THERE WAS SO MUCH [BLEEP]

BACON-- (APPLAUSE)

IT WAS LIKE-- IT WAS LIKE APOLITICAL STATEMENT.

LIKE 24 HOURS A DAY I COULDGO TO MESS AND GET BACON

DID YOU HAVE THE BACONEXPERIENCE?

>> I DIDN'T EAT A LOT OFBACON OVER THERE THERE WERE

A LOT OF POP STARTS-- TARTSBUT MAYBE WE WERE IN

DIFFERENT PARTS OF IRAQ.

>> Stephen: A BACON POPTART, CANYOU

IMAGINE?

WELL PHIL, THANK YOU FOR BEINGHERE.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: PHIL KLAY, THEBOOK IS REDEPLOYMENT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FORTHE REPORT, EVERYBODY,

CHEERS.

WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW NIGHT,ONE MORE TIME.

HERE WE GO

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