September 18, 2014 - Terry Gilliam

  • Episode: 10156 | 
  • Views: 79,036

A new app helps people cut down on their smartphone usage, Sean Hannity reminisces about being spanked, and Terry Gilliam discusses his film "The Zero Theorem." 

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: WELCOME TO "THE

REPORT," EVERYBODY!

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU SO MUCH!

WELCOME, EVERYBODY!

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

I FORGOT TO DO SOMETHING.

(CHEERING)>> STEPHEN: THANKS, EVERYBODY!

I APOLOGIZE!

THIS IS MY PHONE.

I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS EARLIER.

I'M JUST CHECKING ON THE ORDER

STATUS OF MY IPHONE 6.

IT COMES OUT TOMORROW, BUT FORSOME REASON -- OH!

IT'S HERE NOW!

SO BEAUTIFUL!

YOU ARE WORSE THAN USELESS.

I HATE YOU!

YOU'RE PERFECT AND I WILL NEVERSTOP LOVING YOU...

(LAUGHTER)OOH, THIS ONE CAME PRE-LOADED

WITH NUDE PHOTOS OF BONO!

(LAUGHTER)OH, I'M GLAD I GOT THE 6 PLUS.

(LAUGHTER)AND I REALLY NEEDED THIS NEW

GADGET BECAUSE IT'S NO SECRETTHAT WE ARE SLAVES TO OUR

ELECTRONIC DEVICES.

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT SIRI TOLDME TO SAY.

(LAUGHTER)EVERY DAY, WE BURY OUR HEADS IN

OUR PHONES, DESPERATE TODOWNLOAD EVERY TERABYTE OF

INFORMATION IN THE WORLD, ANDTHE ONLY PRICE WE PAY IS MISSING

THE WORLD AROUND US.

WOW, THAT'S PRETTY DEEP -- ISHOULD TWEET THAT.

BUT LUCKILY, THERE'S A NEW APPDESIGNED TO HELP YOU SCREEN YOUR

SCREEN TIME.

>> NEED A REALITY CHECK ON HOWMANY TIMES A DAY YOU CHECK YOUR

PHONE?

THERE'S A NEW APP FOR THATCALLED CHECKY.

IT WILL SHOW YOU HOW MANY TIMESYOU CHECK THE PHONE!

>> STEPHEN: YES, CHECKY.

IT BEATS THE PREVIOUS WAY TOTELL IF YOU WERE CHECKING YOUR

PHONE TOO MUCH -- WALKING INTO AMALL FOUNTAIN.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

>> STEPHEN: CAUGHT MEOFF-GUARD THERE.

CHECKY IS A WORTHY SUCCESSOR TOMY PREVIOUS FAVORITE APP FOR

LIMITING PHONE USAGE, "BATTERY."

(LAUGHTER)I INSTALLED CHECKY TODAY ON THE

NEW PHONE, AND I GOTTA ADMIT, IHAVE BEEN CHECKING MY PHONE A

LOT TODAY, TO MAKE SURE EVERYONESEES ME CHECKING MY NEW PHONE A

LOT TODAY.

IN FACT -- I'M ALREADY UP TO 65CHECKS.

ACTUALLY, I BETTER CHECKCHECKITY CHECK THAT.

WHOA!

66!

HOLD ON.

67!

WAIT A SECOND.

68!

I'M ON A STREAK!

BUT WAIT, CHECKY GETS EVENMORE-ER-ER.

>> SO THE BEST PART, YOU CANACTUALLY COMPARE YOUR PHONE

CHECKING AVERAGE WITH OTHERFRIENDS WHO ALSO USE THE APP.

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT.

RIGHT NOW, EVERY TIME I CHECK MYPHONE -- 69!

NEW HIGH SCORE!

(CHEERING)-- MY FRIENDS GET TO SEE IF I'VE

CHECKED MY PHONE MORE TIMES THANTHEY'VE CHECKED THEIRS.

AND LET ME TELL YOU -- 70!

I'M KILLING IT IN MY FANTASYCHECKY LEAGUE.

(LAUGHTER)THE LEAGUE, SO FAR, IS JUST ME

AND ALL MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.

THERE'S...

UH...

LET'S SEE.

THERE'S BROWN-HAIRED GUY

NO, THAT'S ME.

(LAUGHTER)ANYWAY, I'M SURE I HAVE A LOT OF

FRIENDS.

JUST LOOK HOW COOL MY PHONE IS.

(LAUGHTER)NATION, WITH TERROR GROUPS, 71,

RUNNING ROUGHSHOD ALL OVER THEMIDDLE EAST, AMERICA FACES AN

EXISTENTIAL THREAT UNLIKE ANYTHIS COUNTRY HAS EVER KNOWN, AND

ITS NAME IS BARACK OBAMA.

'CUZ WHEN IT COMES TO IGNITING ACLASH OF CIVILIZATIONS BASED ON

CENTURIES OLD ANIMOSITY, THISGUY'S HEART JUST ISN'T IN IT.

LISTEN TO HIS NON-COMMITTALCOMMITMENT OF AMERICAN FORCES.

>> AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE, THESEAMERICAN FORCES WILL NOT HAVE A

COMBAT MISSION.

WE WILL NOT GET DRAGGED INTOANOTHER GROUND WAR IN IRAQ.

>> STEPHEN: WELL, NOT WITHTHAT ATTITUDE WE WON'T!

(LAUGHTER)BECAUSE THERE'S ONE THING THIS

ADMINISTRATION SAYS THEY WON'TDO.

>> THE WHITE HOUSE CONTINUES TOINSIST THERE WILL BE NO BOOTS ON

THE GROUND.

>> THE PRESIDENT HAS DETERMINEDTHAT THOSE BOOTS WILL NOT BE

AMERICAN BOOTS THAT ARE ON THEGROUND.

>> THE NOTION THAT THE UNITEDSTATES SHOULD BE PUTTING BOOTS

ON THE GROUND, I THINK, WOULD BEA PROFOUND MISTAKE.

>> STEPHEN: OF COURSE THEREWON'T BE AMERICAN BOOTS ON THE

GROUND.

OUR SHOES ARE ALL MADE IN CHINA.

(LAUGHTER)OKAY.

SO STOP WORRYING!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU CLAIM "NO" BOOTS ON THE

GROUND.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE 1,600 TROOPSWE ALREADY HAVE THERE?

DO THEY NOT HAVE BOOTS?

ARE THEY BAREFOOT, SIR?

THEY COULD STUB A TOE!

AND THE V.A. IS ALREADYOVERWHELMED!

I'M JUST CONFUSED BY THIS MIXEDMESSAGE.

WHAT THE HELL DOES ANY OF THISMEAN?

>> HERE'S WHY THE PRESIDENT ISSO SURE THERE WILL BE NO BOOTS

ON THE GROUND.

BECAUSE HE JUST CHANGED THE NAMETO "FORWARD DEPLOYMENT."

>> WE KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

WHY CAN'T YOU CALL BOOTS ON THEGROUND BOOTS ON THE GROUND?

>> WHO ARE THESE BOOTS ON THEGROUND?

>> WHO ARE THE BOOTS?

WHOSE BOOTS ARE THEY?

WHERE ARE THESE BOOTS COMINGFROM?

SOMEBODY'S IMAGINATION OR ARETHEY REAL?

>> I WOULD ASSUME THEY'RE BOOTSON THE GROUND UNLESS THEY'RE IN

THAT MICHAEL J. FOX, UH,HOVERCRAFT.

THAT SKATEBOARD.

>> STEPHEN: WELL, OBAMA?

ARE THE BOOTS NOT ON THE GROUNDBECAUSE THEY'RE ON THAT MICHAEL

J. FOX HOVERBOARD?

OR ARE THEY NOT ON THE GROUND

BECAUSE OUR TROOPS HAVE TURNEDINTO TEEN WOLVES AND ARE DUNKING

A BASKETBALL RIGHT NOW?

WHICH MICHAEL J. FOX MOVIE ISIT?

AND PLEASE DON'T SAY "CASUALTIESOF WAR."

FORTUNATELY, FOX NEWS GUEST ANDH.P. LOVECRAFT TRIBUTE NAME

PETER HEGSETH WAS ABLE TORESOLVE ALL THE QUESTIONS ABOUT

THE FOOTWEAR, AS WELL AS THEFOOT-WHEN, AND THE FOOT-WHY.

JIM?

>> SO THIS RIGHT HERE, GRETCHEN,IS A CONVENTIONAL STANDARD ARMY

ISSUE COMBAT BOOT.

THIS IS WHAT A TRIGGER PULLERWOULD WEAR.

THIS IS WHAT I WORE IN IRAQ.

THIS IS THE MASSIVE ARMEDFORCES.

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT BRINGINGTHEM OR HAVING THEM ON THE

GROUND AT THIS POINT.

WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT IS ABOOT LIKE THIS.

THIS IS A BOOT OF A SPECIALOPERATOR OR ONE THAT THEY MIGHT

WEAR.

THESE -- THIS IS WHAT WE'RETALKING ABOUT.

>> I GUESS THE POINT THAT YOU'REMAKING IS THE BOOTS THAT YOU

BROUGHT TO THE SHOW TODAY MAYLOOK DIFFERENT, BUT A BOOT IS A

BOOT.

>> THEY'RE BOTH BOOTS.

(LAUGHTER)>> STEPHEN: YES!

THEY'RE BOTH BOOTS!

FOLKS, THIS RIGHT HERE, THAT --THAT IS THE TYPE OF IN-DEPTH

REPORTING YOU CAN ONLY GET FROMFOX NEWS OR ZAPPOS!

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

THE POINT IS, DIFFERENT TROOPSWEAR DIFFERENT BOOTS.

WHICH RAISES THE QUESTION --WHICH FOOTWEAR ARE WE WILLING TO

PUT ON THE GROUND?

I MEAN, OBAMA SAID HE WOULDN'TPUT BOOTS ON THE GROUND.

BUT APPARENTLY, THAT WAS A TOTALCROC, BECAUSE NOW HE'S

FLIP-FLOPPING, WHICH IS MAKINGTHE AMERICAN PEOPLE SAY "UGG"!

AND (BLEEP) ME.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

I'VE ALWAYS SAID OBAMA IS ALOAFER.

BUT WITH HIS CONSTANT GOLFING,NOW HE JUST LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND

OF CLOWN!

(LAUGHTER)'CUZ HE KNOWS BOOTS ON THE

GROUND ARE A SLIPPER-Y SLOPE,AND THE LAST THING HE NEEDS IS

ANOTHER WEDGE ISSUE.

HE NEEDS TO STOP CONVERSE-INGWITH OUR ALLIES AND JUST DO IT!

COWBOY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)OTHERWISE, THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS

GOING TO BE TAKING IT IN THEBOOTY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)NATION, I LOVE THE N.F.L.

IT'S AMERICA'S TOP FORUM FORDISCUSSING ISSUES OF DOMESTIC

VIOLENCE.

AND I UNDERSTAND THE EMPLOYEESALSO GET TOGETHER AND PLAY BALL

ON THE WEEKENDS.

(LAUGHTER)AND THE BIGGEST BUT NOT THE

LATEST SAD NEWS OUT OF THEN.F.L. IS THE ARREST OF

MINNESOTA VIKINGS RUNNING BACKADRIAN PETERSON ON CHARGES OF

CHILD ABUSE.

AFTER HE "SPANKED HIS SON SOHARD WITH A SWITCH THE BOY

SUFFERED INJURIES ALL OVER HISBODY."

REALLY MAKES YOU NOSTALGIC FORTHE DAYS WHEN PLAYERS WERE

ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTING THEMSELVESTHROUGH THEIR SWEAT PANTS.

(LAUGHTER)PETERSON WAS SUSPENDED

INDEFINITELY THIS WEEK AND FOXNEWS' SENIOR NERF FOOTBALL

CHUCKER, SEAN HANNITY, WAS NOTPLEASED.

(LAUGHTER)>> I GOT HIT WITH A STRAP, BAM,

BAM, BAM -- AND I HAVE NEVERBEEN TO SHRINK -- BY MY FATHER.

I WILL TELL YOU THAT I DESERVEDIT.

I THINK HE WENT TOO FAR, BUT IDON'T WANT TO SEE THIS GUY GET A

FELONY.

I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS GUYLOSE HIS JOB.

>> THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEENSPANKING AND CHILD ABUSE,

SPANKING AND CORPORALPUNISHMENT.

BUT WE GREW UP IN A TIME -->> I GOT IT LIKE THIS -- AGH,

AGH, AGH!

>> STEPHEN: PUMPKIN PATCH!

PUMPKIN PATCH!

I'M SORRY.

THAT'S THE SAFE WORD SEAN AND IAGREED ON.

BUT HANNITY IS RIGHT ON THISONE.

ADRIAN PETERSON WENT TOO FAR,BUT THE MAN DESERVES A SECOND

CHANCE.

AFTER ALL, SEAN'S DAD WHIPPEDHIM WITH A BELT, AND HE NEVER

NEEDED TO GO TO APSYCHOTHERAPIST!

HE JUST HAS TO HAVE THEM ON HISSHOW THREE TIMES A WEEK.

(LAUGHTER)AND SEAN WENT ON TO EXPLAIN JUST

HOW UNAFFECTED HE WAS BY HISCHILDHOOD EXPERIENCE HE CAN'T

STOP MENTIONING.

>> SO MY FATHER SHOULD HAVE BEENARRESTED BASED ON TODAY'S

STANDARDS?

>> MAYBE, YES.

>> THAT IS NUTS.

I WILL TELL YOU, I WAS NOTMENTALLY BRUISED BECAUSE MY

FATHER HIT ME WITH A BELT.

>> STEPHEN: NO, HE WASPHYSICALLY BRUISED.

MENTALLY, HE GREW UP TO BE APSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY ADULT

WHO CLEAVES DESPERATELY TOSTRONG AUTHORITY FIGURES, LASHES

OUT AT PERCEIVED WEAKNESS ANDTAKES HIS BELT OFF ON LIVE TV.

(LAUGHTER)STILL, IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR

HANNITY'S GREAT AMERICAN PANELTO TURN INTO A GREAT AMERICAN

INTERVENTION.

>> WE'RE GOING TO ARRESTEVERYBODY THAT HAS EVER HIT

THEIR KIDS?

>> BUT IT'S A CHANGING TIME.

>> CHANGING TIME.

>> DID YOUR DAD STICK LEAVES INYOUR MOUTH LIKE ADRIAN

PETERSON -->> MY DAD PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE

WHEN I TALKED BACK TO HIM ONCE,AND I DESERVED IT.

>> STEPHEN: SEE?

ALL HANNITY IS SAYING IS THATSOME CHILDREN DESERVE TO BE

PUNCHED IN THE FACE.

ALTHOUGH IT IS SAD TO SEE THAT,SO MANY YEARS LATER, THE

SWELLING STILL HASN'T GONE DOWN.

(LAUGHTER)THE POINT IS, OUR COUNTRY'S GONE

SOFT.

NOT LIKE IN MY DAY.

WHEN I WAS A KID AND I DIDN'TEAT MY PEAS, MY MOM WOULD BASH

ME OVER THE HEAD WITH A FOLDINGCHAIR.

(LAUGHTER)WHEN I STAYED OUT PAST DARK, I

COULD EXPECT TO SEE MY DADWAITING IN THE KITCHEN WITH A

BURLAP SACK AND A RABID BADGER.

(LAUGHTER)AND I WON'T SOON FORGET THE TIME

PEE-POP GOT ME IN A FULL NELSON,AND THEN TAGGED IN MY GRANDMA,

WHO CAME IN OFF THE TOP ROPEWITH AN ELBOW DROP THAT MADE ME

THINK TWICE ABOUT NOT WEARING MYRETAINER.

(LAUGHTER)AND I DESERVED IT EVERY TIME.

NOT BECAUSE I MADE AN INNOCENTCHILDHOOD MISTAKE, BUT BECAUSE I

AM A BAD, BAD PERSON.

I AM A FAILURE!

DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE I LOVE,EVEN YOU, TOOTS.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)EVEN YOU!

I'M SO SORRY YOU HATE ME BECAUSEI CAN'T BE LOVED!

(CRYING)OH, GOD

I'M EMBARRASSING MYSELF ONNATIONAL TELEVISION.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY I'LL LEARN.

THIS WILL TEACH YOU TO LOSECONTROL ON TELEVISION!

NEVER LET THEM SEE WHO YOUREALLY ARE!

(LAUGHTER)ANYWAY, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,

SEAN.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE GROUP ONWEDNESDAY!

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY!

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACCLAIMEDFILMMAKER WHO GOT HIS START WITH

MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS,AND NOW HE DOES SOMETHING

COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

PLEASE WELCOME TERRY GILLIAM!

♪♪(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> STEPHEN: I'M A HUGE FAN!

I LOVE YOU, STEVE CARELL!

>> OH, OH, AHHH!

>> HOW DO WE LOOK?

(LAUGHTER)♪♪

(LAUGHTER)♪♪

(LAUGHTER)♪♪

>> WHOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: TERRY!

HEY!

THANKS FOR COMING ON!

>> THANK YOU!

>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU FORBEING HERE TONIGHT AND WEARING

WHAT I ASSUME IS YOUR FORMALBATHROBE.

>> MM-HMM.

YES.

>> STEPHEN: TERRY, GOOD TO SEEYOU.

>> IT'S GOOD TO BE IN THE TEMPLEOF COLBERT.

>> STEPHEN: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I'LL TAKE THE EXTRA T.

I'M SAVING THEM AND SENDING THEMOFF TO THE FRENCH COUNTRIES

THAT NEED THEM. IN YOUR MOVIESLIKE "BRAZIL" AND "12 MONKEYS"

AND IN THIS ONE CALLED "THE ZERO

THEOREM," THE FUTURE IS NOT THEHAPPIEST PLACE IN THE WORLD.

WHY DO YOU SEE THE FUTURE ASBLEAK?

MAYBE THINGS ALL WORK OUT IN THEFUTURE.

>> HAVE YOU WATCHED THE FILM?

>> STEPHEN: I SAW 40 SECONDSOF IT.

>> THAT'S ENOUGH.

EXACTLY.

IT'S WHAT I SUSPECTED ALL ALONG.

I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT HERE, AND ASYOU SEE THE WORKS, THE OEUVRE

>> STEPHEN: I DON'T SPEAKSPANISH

IT'S THE WAY THE FRENCHPRONOUNCE "COLBERT."

SO I THOUGHT YOU'D BE FAMILIARWITH THAT.

>> STEPHEN: WHY DON'T WE SHOWTHE AUDIENCE A LITTLE BIT OF IT.

>> IF YOU WISH

>> STEPHEN: I DON'T PARTICULARLY(LAUGHTER)

THANK GOD THERE'S INTELLIGENTPEOPLE IN THIS AUDIENCE

THAT WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH

>> LET'S SEE A LITTLE BIT

IT'S THE "THE ZERO THEOREM."

>> THANK YOU.

♪♪(INDISCERNIBLE TALKING)

♪♪(INDISCERNIBLE TALKING)

♪♪(INDISCERNIBLE TALKING)

>> STEPHEN: WILL I BE SAD WHEN

I LEAVE THE MOVIE?

>> YOU WILL.

BUT YOU WILL LAUGH BEFORE YOU'RESAD.

YOU WILL GO THROUGH ALL THEEMOTIONS LIFE CAN GIVE US.

>> STEPHEN: WILL I BE ASADDER, BUT WISER MAN?

>> WIDER, SADDER, BUT WHEN YOUREFLECT ON IT LATER, YOU WILL

REALIZE YOU SAW TRUTH ANDYOU'RE A MAN WHO BELIEVES IN

TRUTH.

>> STEPHEN: I BELIEVE IN MYTRUTH (LAUGHTER)

MY TRUTH IS IS THE TRUTH THAT IWISH TO BE TRUE, NOT WHAT

THE FACTS SUPPORT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE SADDER ANDWISER, I WANT TO BE HAPPIER AND

DUMBER.

>> NOW YOU UNDERSTAND WHY IHAVE RENOUNCED MY AMERICAN

CITIZENSHIP.

>> STEPHEN: BECAUSE YOU DON'TWANT TO BE A HAPPY IDIOT?

>> YES!

I THINK YOU PUT IT BEAUTIFULLY(LAUGHTER)

I DON'T NEED TO SAYANYTHING. (APPLAUSE)

>> STEPHEN: I NOTICED A THEME.IN BRAZIL, IT WAS

BIG GOVERNMENT.

>> YES.

>> STEPHEN: YOU SEEM MOREAFRAID OR THREATENED BY

CORPORATIONS.

>> I THINK WE OUGHT TO.

I THINK YOU MIGHT EVEN AGREEWITH ME ON SOME OF THIS.

>> STEPHEN: PROBABLY NOT.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN...

>> STEPHEN: TELL THE PEOPLEWATCHING THIS GREAT VIACOM

PROGRAM WHY CORPORATIONS ARE BADRIGHT NOW.

(LAUGHTER)>> I THINK WE'VE GOT TO REACH

ACROSS THIS GAP THAT'SSEPARATING US.

LET'S HOLD HANDS AND THINKTOGETHER.

>> STEPHEN: OKAY.

>> CORPORATIONS -->> STEPHEN: CORPORATIONS, YES,

THEY'RE PEOPLE.

>> THEY MAKE US HAPPY.

>> STEPHEN: THEY DO BECAUSETHEY PROVIDE THINGS LIKE THIS.

THIS BEAUTIFUL THING.

>> EXACTLY.

>> STEPHEN: THIS IS ABEAUTIFUL THING OF THE FUTURE.

OH, OKAY.

YES, THAT OLD THING!

(APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOURSELF A NEWGIRL!

>> THIS ONE DOESN'T HAVE THEUNSIGHTLY BULGE IN THE TROUSERS.

IT'S THE OLD ONE.

>> STEPHEN: OH REALLY?

BUT THIS ONE MAKES ME LOOK HAPPYTO SEE YOU.

(LAUGHTER)IN THE MOVIE, CHRIS OWNS --

>> HE OWNS NOTHING.

HE'S A MAN WHO WORKS FOR ACORPORATION.

HE'S INCREDIBLY SKILLED AT THECOMPUTER ACTIVITY.

>> STEPHEN: I THOUGHT HE WASPLAYING TWO PIANOS AT ONCE.

>> HE CAN DO THAT AS WELL.

HE'S AN ACTOR, A CHARACTER ANDBRILLIANT PIANIST IN PRIVATE

LIFE.

BUT WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUTTHAT.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE MOVIE.

HE'S A COMPUTER GENIUS AND HEHAS A TASK OF SOLVING THE ZERO

THEOREM TO PROVE EVERYTHING ISMEANINGLESS.

ALL IS NOTHING.

>> STEPHEN: MAYBE NOTHING ISALL.

>> GLASS HALF FULL, HALF EMPTY.

>> STEPHEN: MAYBE HALF FULL.

MAYBE FULL OF URINE AND YOUWOULDN'T WANT TO DRINK IT

(LAUGHTER)>> YES.

BUT THAT'S HIS TASK.

THE PROBLEM IS HE'S ANTISOCIAL.

HE'S NOT A SOCIAL NETWORKER.

HE TRIES TO DISCONNECT FROM THATAND WORK AT HOME LIKE SO MANY OF

US DREAM OF.

>> STEPHEN: IS THIS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL?

DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE, TERRY?

>> WHAT I LIKE TO CALL IS POSTOR PRE-POST AUTO BIOGRAPHICAL.

PRE-POST-AUTO BIOGRAPHICAL.

IS THAT ON THE ASPERGER'S SCALE?

(LAUGHTER)>> THERE YOU GO.

AS A DIRECTOR, I HAVE TOIDENTIFY WITH MY MAIN CHARACTER.

OTHER WISE, HOW CAN YOU ANSWERTHE QUESTIONS.

DURING THE MOVIE, WE LAUGHED ALOT AND MADE JOKES.

IN THE END, I FOUND I HAD BECOMETHE CHARACTER CHRISTOPH PLAYED

SO BRILLIANTLY IN THE FILM.

I LOVE MY COMPUTER.

MY WIFE HAS BEGUN TO QUESTION MYSEXUALITY.

>> STEPHEN: THAT OUTFITDOESN'T HELP.

(LAUGHTER)>> HER OSHKOSH DUNGAREES, WE

BALANCE.

I THINK IT'S GOOD FOR MEN TODISCOVER THEIR FEMININITY AND

WOMEN TO DISCOVER THEIRMASCULINITY. THERE'S NOTHING

WRONG WITH IT IF YOU'RECONFIDENT.

>> STEPHEN: AS LONG AS YOUHAVE A SAFE WORD.

PUMPKIN PATCH, TERRY.

PUMPKIN PATCH.

>> I DON'T WANT TO PUSH YOUHERE.

>> STEPHEN: YOU'RE NOT PUSHINGME AT ALL., I'M UNPUSHABLE.

MY CHI IS SO STRONG I CAN'T BEPUSHED.

>> THE POINT IS WILL YOU AND CANYOU BE COMFORTABLE WEARING

WOMEN'S CLOTHING?

>> STEPHEN: TERRY, I WISH IHAD TIME TO SHOW YOU.

I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WEARINGWOMEN'S CLOTHING.

>> 811, TRIBECA GRAND HOTEL.TALK TO YOU LATER

(LAUGHTER)>> STEPHEN: TERRY GILLIAM,

"THE ZERO THEOREM" OPENSTOMORROW!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> STEPHEN: THAT'S IT FOR "THE

REPORT," EVERYBODY!

GOOD NIGHT!

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