House Returns the Favor

  • Aired:  05/10/10
  •  | Views: 59,837

Dr. House's photo sits proudly on Stephen's shelf in a place of honor, next to his coin purse made from a bull's scrotum. (2:28)

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT." IT'S GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION, THANK YOU.

TODAY, FOLKS, TODAY, AS YOU KNOW, PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA NOMINATED SOLICITOR GENERAL

ELENA KAGAN TO REPLACE JOHN PAUL STEVENS ON THE SUPREME COURT.

WE'LL HAVE MORE ON THE STORY TOMORROW, BUT FIRST, THE BIG

NEWS, I'M A HUGE FAN OF "HOUSE."

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

"HOUSE" AND I HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.

WE BOTH REFUSE TO PLAY BY THE RULES.

WE NEVER CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR ACTIONS AND ARE HORRIBLY ABUSIVE TO OUR STAFFS.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT WE ALSO HAVE OUR FAULTS.

OF COURSE, IN THE END WE'RE BOTH ALWAYS RIGHT, AND ALSO WE BOTH DO TERRIFIC AMERICAN ACCENTS.

OH, IT WOULD NEVER OCCUR TO ANYONE THAT THEY ARE BOTH ACTUALLY BRITISH.

QUITE SOME LOVELY, CHAP.

[IN BRITISH ACCENT] THAT'S WHY... THAT'S WHY... THAT'S WHY...

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY HOUSE'S PHOTO SITS PROUDLY ON MICHELLE.

IN A PLACE OF HONOR NEXT TO MY COIN PURSE MADE FROM A BULL'S SCROTUM

[APPLAUSE] COINCIDENTALLY -- GET A SHOT OF THAT THERE, JIM -- THAT IS THE ACTUAL SIZE OF

HOUSE'S SACK.

[LAUGHTER]

THAT'S WHY HE LIMPS.

ON LAST WEEK'S EPISODE, I RECENTLY LEARNED, I WAS HAPPY TO SEE THAT DR. HOUSE RETURNED THE FAVOR.

JIMMY, GO BACK.

FREEZE IT.

THERE I AM.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

MY HEAD, AS YOU CAN SEE, IS MAGNIFIED NEARLY TO LIFE SIZE.

SO THANK YOU FOR YOUR TRIBUTE,

DR. HOUSE, AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO THANK ME FOR THANKING YOU,

HERE'S A HINT: MY FAVORITE COLOR IS VICODEN.

[LAUGHTER]

OH, OH, OH, I THINK||||

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