John Kerry as Mitt Romney in Debate Prep

  • Aired:  06/19/12
  •  | Views: 29,273

Senator John Kerry will play Mitt Romney in Barack Obama's mock debates, even though Kerry and Romney hail from completely different pages of a thesaurus. (2:43)

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN'S NAME]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE REPORT BEGUN EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOIN US.

HEROS, ALL, HAVE A SEAT.

NATION, THE 2012 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, AND IT WILL ALL COME

DOWN TO A CLASH OF IDEAS: DO WE WANT BIGGER GOVERNMENT, GAY MARRIAGE, AND CLASS WARFARE?

OR DO WE PREFER MITT ROMNEY'S MESSAGE: "I LOOK LIKE A PRESIDENT."

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S WHY I'M SO EXCITED ABOUT THE UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES.

EVERY FOUR YEARS, I PLAY A LITTLE DRINKING GAME WHERE I TAKE A SHOT OF BOURBON AS SOON

AS THE DEBATES START, AND DON'T STOP UNTIL ELECTION DAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I ALWAYS WIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BOTH CANDIDATES ARE ALREADY IN TRAINING.

IN FACT, OBAMA HAS PICKED HIS SPARRING PARTNER.

>> PRESIDENT OBAMA TAPPING SENATOR KERRY TO HELP HIM WITH DEBATE REHEARSALS.

THE 2004 DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL NOMINEE WILL PAY THE ROLE OF GOVERNOR MITT ROMNEY IN MOCK DEBATES.

>> Stephen: OBAMA HAS CHOSEN KERRY TO PLAY MITT ROMNEY?

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT IS SHOCKING-- SOMEBODY CHOSE JOHN KERRY FOR SOMETHING.

[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT, FOLKS, I DON'T KNOW IF KERRY IS UP TO PLAYING ROMNEY.

IN 2004 KERRY WAS A COMPROMISE CANDIDATE.

IN 2012, ROMNEY'S A CONSENSUS CANDIDATE.

KERRY COULDN'T CONNECT WITH VOTERS.

ROMNEY CAN'T RELATE TO THE ELECTORATE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

KERRY WAS IN A TOSS-UP RACE AGAINST AN UNPOPULAR INCUMBENT.

BUT ROMNEY IS IN A TIGHT CONTEST AGAINST AN UNPOPULAR SITTING PRESIDENT!

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE FROM COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PAGES OF A THESAURUS!

[ LAUGHTER ]

STILL, NOW THAT I KNOW JOHN KERRY WILL BE DEBATING PRESIDENT OBAMA, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO

THROW MY FULL SUPPORT BEHIND JOHN KERRY.

THIS IS THE MAN AMERICA NEEDS TO DEFEAT BARACK OBAMA.

WHO BETTER TO FACE AMERICA'S CHALLENGES THAN A MAN WITH SO MUCH FACE?

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHAT'S MORE, JOHN KERRY IS A WAR HERO.

MEANWHILE, OBAMA AVOIDED THE VIETNAM DRAFT WITH A LETTER FROM HIS FAMILY DOCTOR DIAGNOSING HIM

AS MEDICALLY 8.

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