Colbert Super PAC - Stephen Apologizes to WOI in Des Moines

  • Aired:  08/15/11
  •  | Views: 28,790

Stephen apologizes to ABC's Des Moines affiliate station, WOI: it turns out their general manager, Ray Cole, has touched Stephen's Emmy. (2:39)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT,

EVERYBODY.

IT IS SO--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

IT IS SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU

WITH US.

FOLKS--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE GREAT

AMERICAN SCREAM MACHINE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THERE IS

A LOT OF NEWS OUT THERE AND

WE WILL GET TO ALL OF IT, I

PROMISE YOU.

BUT FIRST I HAVE TO START BY

ISSUING A RARE APOLOGY.

IT GOES OUT-- I KNOW, I

KNOW.

IT GOES OUT TO THE TEAM AT

ABC CHANNEL 5 WOI DES MOINES

NEWS LIEDER.

LAST WEEK I ATTACKED WOI

WHEN THEIR GENERAL MANAGER

RAY COLE REFUSED TO AIR OUR

COLBERT REPORT SUPERPAC ADS.

YOU HAVE [BLEEP] WITH THE

WRONG PEOPLE!

COLBERT SUPERPAC IS 165,000

STRONG, BABY, HERE US ROAR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: I HAPPEN TO FOE

YOU HAVEN'T WON A LOCAL EMMY

IN TEN YEARS.

WANT TO TOUCH MINE?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: NOW THAT WAS A

LOW BLOW.

ALMOST AS LOW AS THE NUMBER

OF EMMIES THEY HAVE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: BUT IT TURNS OUT

THAT I HAVE MET RAY COLE AND

HE HAS TOUCHED MY EMMY.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU SEE, WHAT HAPPENED WAS--

(LAUGHTER)

IN 2008 WE HAD JUST WON OUR

FIRST EMMY AND NATURALLY I

WENT TO THE BATHROOM TO

CELEBRATE.

(LAUGHTER)

THE ONLY OTHER GENTLEMEN IN

THERE WHO I HAD NEVER MET

WAS RAY COLE.

HE OFFERED TO HOLD MY LITTLE

TROPHY WHILE I PEED.

(LAUGHTER)

I SAID I WOULD RATHER YOU

HOLD MY EMMY.

AND IN RETURN-- TRUE STORY,

TRUE STORY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> TRUE STORY, IN RETURN

WHEN HE PEED I HELD HIS

PACKAGE--

(LAUGHTER)

>> BY WHICH I MEAN THESE

LITTLE PARCELS HE'S HOLDING

DOWN THERE.

SO MY APOLOGIES.

DID YOU TOUCH MY EMMY AND

WHEN YOU HAVE TOUCHED MY

EMMY, YOU'VE TOUCHED THE

BEST OF ME.

SO LIKE MY CHILDREN, IN THAT

I LEGALLY ADOPT ALL