Eric Cantor's Shocking Defeat

  • Aired:  06/11/14
  •  | Views: 30,488

Tea Party candidate David Brat unseats House Majority Leader Eric Cantor in an unprecedented political upset. (8:30)

>> WELCOME TO REPORT, EVERYBODY.WHOO, WHOO!

>> Stephen: GOOD TO HAVE YOUWITH US.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]IT WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE.

THANK YOU, SO MUCH.

FOLKS, WE HAVE -- PLEASE, SETTLEDOWN.

I'M SORRY.

WE HAVE TO DO THIS.

I'M SORRY.

I UNDERSTAND THE FEELING BUT THERE IS NO TIME FOR YOUR

CELEBRATION.

BECAUSE TONIGHT I'M REPORTING ONA SURPRISE BALLOON DROP!

WHOO! WHOO!

WHOO! [ PATRIOTIC MUSIC ]

>> Stephen: NOW SOME OF YOU AREPROBABLY THINKING, STEPHEN,

WHY ARE YOU CELEBRATING AT THETOP OF YOUR SHOW.

WELL, GREG, FOR MONTHS NOW YOU'VE BEEN FED A VICIOUS LIE

THAT THE TEA PARTY IS DEAD BUT IT TURNS OUT --

>> IT'S ALIVE, IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

>> Stephen: IT'S ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE!

JIM.

>> A TEA-PARTY TAKE DOWN.

HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER ERIC CANTOR VOTED OUT OF OFFICE

SENDING SHOCK WAVES THROUGH WASHINGTON AND THE COUNTRY.

>> THE STUNNING ELECTIONROCKING WASHINGTON

NO ONE SAW IT COMING.

>> Stephen: YES NO ONE SAWCOMING LEAST OF ALL ERIC CANTOR

WHO HELPED CREATE THE TEA PARTY

BY STITCHING TOGETHER DEADIDEAS

AND THEN FILLING THEM WITH RAGE GIVING IT A JOLT OF POWER AND

LETTING IT LOOSE ON THE COUNTRYSIDE TERRIFIED OF FIRE

AND SCIENCE.

I MEAN, WHO -- WHO -- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: WHO COULD EVER IMAGINE IT WOULD COME BACK TO

KILL ITS CREATOR.

WHO KNOWS WHO IT WILL DEVOUR NEXT.

DADDY LOVES YOU, TEA PARTY.ERIC BAD, STEPHEN GOOD.

OH, GOD, WE HAVE TO KEEP IT HAPPY.

WE MUST FIND IT A BRIDE.

YES! YES!

SO LIFE LIKE.

NOW, I WANT YOU TO KNOW, TEA PARTY, THAT THE CANDIDATE YOU

CHOSE IS SOMEONE I BACKED SINCE DAY ONE IF YOU STARTED COUNTING

TODAY.

>> CANTOR, SEVEN TERMS AS THE INCUMBENT LOST THE VIRGINIA

PRIMARY TO TEA PARTY BACKEDECONOMICS PROFESSOR, DAVID BRAT.

>> THE SITTING HOUSE MAJORITY LEADER LOSING IN A PRIMARY IN

HIS OWN PARTY TO A HERETOFORE OBSCURE COLLEGE PROFESSOR NAMED

DAVE BRAT WHO A MAN'S WIKIPEDIAPAGE WAS ABOUT TWO LINES.

>> NOT ANY MORE.

OK HERE WE GO.

>> Stephen: LET'S EDIT THAT PAGEA LITTLE BIT.

BRAT HAS ENJOYED THE LONG-TIME SUPPORT AND FRIENDSHIP OF

STEPHEN COLBERT WHO WAS THE BESTMAN AT HIS WEDDING AND WHO

FUTURE PRESIDENT BRAT, PLANS TO APPOINT AS AMBASSADOR TO

BIKINITOWN AND WIKI-TRUE.

ALL RIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>> Stephen: OF COURSE I DON'T

HAVE TO TELL YOU GOOD PEOPLE THAT BRAT IS AN ECONOMICS

PROFESSOR AT RANDOLPH MACON COLLEGE.

GO FIGHTING HYPHENS.

AND HE IS A GREAT TEACHER.

REVIEWERS ON RATE MY PROFESSOR DOT-COM HAVE NOTED THAT HE'S

TOTAL EYE CANDY.

HE'S SO CHARMING YOU FORGET TO BE MAD AT HIM AND

AT LEAST HE'S HOT.

YES, HE IS.

I WOULDN'T KICK HIM OUT OF BED FOR KICKOMG MEXICANS OUT OF THE

COUNTRY.

NOW IN A STRANGE TWIST, BRAT'S DEMOCRATIC OPPONENT WILL BE JACK

TRAMMELL.

ANOTHER PROFESSOR AT RANDOLPH MACON. I DON'T KNOW MUCH

ABOUT THAT COLLEGE BUTALL OF THEIR PROFESSORS SEEM

TO BE LOOKING FOR OTHER JOBS.

MY ONLY PROBLEM WITH THISECONOMICS PROFESSOR IS HE

WON WITHOUT ECONOMICS.

>> CANTOR SPENT 50 TIMES MORETHAN BRAT. FIVE MILLION

DOLLARS IN CAMPAIGN ADS WHILEBRAT SPENT BARELY $100,000.

>> HIS REELECTION CAMPAIGN SPENTMORE AT STEAK HOUSES ALONE THAN

HIS OPPONENT DAVE BRAT SPENT ONHIS OPPONENT'S CAMPAIGN.

>> HE GOT CHUCKED WHILE EATINGCHUCK. HE GOT DETHRONED WHILE

EATING A T-BONE. HE WENT DOWNON THE GROUND ROUND.

HE SAID GOODBYE WHILE EATING ARIBEYE. HE GOT ELECTORALLY

WHIPPED WHILE EATING NEW YORKSTRIP HE WAS WAYLAYED EATING

FILLET. HIT IN THE GROIN WITH A TENDERLOIN. HE WAS SPANKED

WITH THE FLANK...STEAK. POORHOUSE, PORTERHOUSE.

LONDON BROIL.

STEAK AU POIVRE.

DRY RUB.

NO, NO, NO.

NOW HERE'S MAY BEEF WITH CANTOR -- NO!

NATION, HERE'S THE DEAL.

AS A FORMER SUPER PAC, SUPER PLAYER WHO RAISED CASH FOR LET'S

SAY POLITICAL STUFF, I'M PERSONALLY OFFENDED THE MAN WITH

LESS MONEY WON.

IF VIOLATES THE GOLDEN RULE OF POLITICS.

HE WHO HAS THE GOLD -- AND THAT'S THE END OF THE RULE

BUT THE EVANGELICAL DAVE BRATGOT ONE IMPORTANT ENDORSEMENT.

>> THE REASON WE WON THE CAMPAIGN AND THERE'S ONE REASON

IT'S BECAUSE DOLLARS DO NOTVOTE, YOU DO.

THE MIRACLE THAT JUST HAPPENED, THIS IS A MIRACLE FROM GOD THAT

JUST HAPPENED.

>> Stephen: YES, BRAT'S VICTORY WAS A MIRACLE FROM GOD.

HEAR THAT ONLY JEWISH REPUBLICANIN CONGRESS?

OH, OH, SO CLOSE.

YOU WERE JUST ONE JESUS SHORT.

OF COURSE, NOW THAT CANTOR IS OUT WE'RE GOING TO NEED SOMEONE

TO APPEAL TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY.

LOOKING AT YOU, LOUIE GOHMERTOR SHOULD I SAY LOUIS GOHMBERG.

LET'S CALL A MOHEL ANDCIRCUMCISE THAT HEAD.

AND CANTOR'S LOSS WASN'T JUSTUNEXPECTED, FOLKS. IT WASN'T

JUST UNPRECEDENTED, IT WAS UNEXPRECTEDENTED.

>> ERIC CANTOR IS THE FIRSTHOUSE MAJORITY LEADER SINCE

THAT ROLE WAS CREATED IN 1899 TOLOSE THAT JOB.

>> ERIC CANTOR WAS WIDELY CONSIDERED TO BE THE NEXT

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE.

>> Stephen: BUT NOW IT'S CANTORRIDES IN THE SUNSET WHILE

JOHN BOEHNER REMAINS THE SUNSET.

AND CANTOR'S DOWNFALL.

FOLKS, ERIC CANTOR'S DOWNFALL, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE WRONG IN

AMERICA WAS THE IMMIGRANTS FAULT.

>> IMMIGRATION WAS A CENTRAL ISSUE IN VIRGINIA'S REPUBLICAN

PRIMARY. ERIC CANTOR WAS ACCUSED

OF RUSHING TOWARDS A REFORMPROGRAM HIS

OPPONENT LABELLED AMNESTY.

>> IT IS TIME TO PROVIDE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR LEGAL RESIDENTS

AND CITIZENSHIP FOR THOSE WHO HAVE BROUGHT TO THIS COUNTRY AS

CHILDREN ONE OF THE GREAT FOUNDING PRINCIPLES OF OUR

COUNTRY WAS THAT CHILDREN WOULD NOT BE PUNISHED FOR THE MISTAKES

OF THEIR PARENTS.

>> Stephen: BOO! NO COMPASSION FOR MEXI-CHILDREN.

FOLKS, I BELIEVE IT'S ONLY FITTING HIS MAN WAS DEFEATED ON

TACO TUESDAY.

SO LET THIS BE A LESSON.

LET THIS -- LET THIS BE A LESSONREPUBLICANS.

YOU STAY AWAY FROM HELPING LOS ILLEGALES BECAUSE NOT ONLY CAN

THE TEA PARTY SMELL FEAR THEY CAN SMELL CILANTRO.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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