Michelle Obama's H2O Campaign

  • Aired:  09/19/13
  •  | Views: 38,696

First Lady Michelle Obama crams her pro-health agenda down Americans' throats -- throats that should be packed with chili cheese fries. (2:52)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: RIGHT THERE,

COME ON.

YOU AND YOU AND YOU.

>> STEVE EN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

DHEERS PLAUS.

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THEREPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

IT IS OUT THERE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

PLEASE, FOLKS, NATION, IWILL MAKE ONE THING

PERFECTLY CLEAR ABOUT HOW IFEEL, ALL RIGHT.

NATION, DO NOT GET ME WRONG,MICHELLE OBAMA IS A LOVELY

LADY, FRIEND OF THE SHOW.

BUT EVER SINCE SHE STARTEDHER LET'S MOVE CAMPAIGN TO

COMBAT CHILDHOOD OBESITY,SHE'S BEEN CRAMMING HER

PRO-HEALTH AGENDA DOWN OURTHROATS, THROATS THAT SHOULD

BE PACKED WITH CHILI CHEESEFRIES.

(LAUGHTER)AS GOD INTENDED.

WELL, THE NANNY-IN-CHIEF HASGONE TOO FAR.

>> MICHELLE OBAMA HASENCOURAGED AMERICANS TO EAT

BETTER AND GET MOREEXERCISE.

NOW SHE WANTS PEOPLE TO DRIJMORE WATER.

>> WATER IS THE BEST ANDEASIEST CHOICE WE CAN MAKE

TO FEEL ENERGIZED, FOCUSED,HEALTHY AND REFRESHED.

>> DRINK JUST ONE MORE CLASSOF WATER A DAY AND YOU CAN

MAKE A REAL DIFFERENCE FORYOUR HEALTH.

>> Stephen: ONE MORE CLASSOF WATER A DAY?

BUT THEN I WOULD BE DRINKINGONE GLASS OF WATER A DAY.

(LAUGHTER)DO YOU REALIZE THAT WATER IS

THE SAME THING THEY PUT INTOILETS?

THINK, LIKE JUST LISTEN THEREASON BEHIND THIS.

>> THE CENTER FOR DISEASECONTROL SAYS THAT MORE THAN

40% OF AMERICAN DOES NOTDRINK ENOUGH WATER DAILY.

AND 7% OF AMERICANS DON'TDRINK ANY WATER.

>> Stephen: MAYBE SO, BUTTHOSE 7% GET PLENTY OF

HYDRATION FROM WATERMELONFLAVORED JOLLY RANCHERS.

(LAUGHTER)WATT CERTIFICATE RIGHT IN

THE NAME.

EXCUSE ME, I DROPPED MY PENI'M SO ANGRY.

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, AND MAY I REMIND YOU

THAT JESUS HATED WATER.

(LAUGHTER)YES.

THAT'S WHY HE TURNED IT INTOWINE.

IN FACT, HE REFUSED TO EVENGET INTO IT.

AND FOLKS T IS TIME TO FIGHTBACK AGAINST THE FORCES OF

BIG HYDRATION.

SO TONIGHT I AM CALLING ONALL AMERICANS TO JUST SAY H2-NO

AND BOYCOTT WATER.

DO TO THE DRINK IT AND DONOT USE IT FOR ANYTHING.

OKAY?

IF YOU WANT SOME KOOL-AID,DO WHAT I DO AND JUST SNORT

THE POWDER.

(LAUGHTER)

Loading...