Corp Constituency

  • Aired:  05/11/11
  •  | Views: 39,104

Stephen wants to know why Viacom won't let him talk about his Super PAC when Karl Rove and Dick Morris can do it on Fox News. (4:20)

PRESIDENT.

[LAUGHTER]

WE KNOW THE REAL REASON THAT

CAIN WANTS TO GET THIS ONE,

EVERYONE IN D.C. IS TALKING

ABOUT MY FUND-RAISING POLITICAL

ACTION COMMITTEE COLBERT PAC

FOUNDED BY ME.

OH, THEY LOVE IT.

FOUNDED BY ME SO THAT THIS

ELECTION THE COLBERT NATION

COULD HAVE A VOICE IN THE FORM

OF MY VOICE SHOUTED THROUGH A

MEGA PHONE MADE OF CASH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WHEN I ANNOUNCED COLBERT PAC ON

THE AIR MY PARENT COMPANY VIACOM

FREAKED BECAUSE LEGALLY IT IS

ILLEGAL.

CORPORATIONS CANNOT DONATE TO

PACS AND THEY SAY USING MY SHOW

TO TALK ABOUT A PC IS A

DONATION.

I DID THE RIGHT THING AND

EXPLOITED A LOOPHOLE.

THANKS TO THE SCOWRT CITIZENS

UNITED RULING CORPORATIONS THAT

CAN'T GIVE ANY MONEY TO A PAC

CAN GIVE UNLIMITED NONA

SUPERPAC.

THERE'S A DISTENSION BETWEEN A

PAC AND A SUPERPAC.

ONE HAS THE WORD SUPERIN ITS

NAME.

I TOOK COLBERT PAC AND I MADE IT

COLBERT SUPERPAC.

PAC, SUPERPAC.

CLARK KENT, SUPERMAN.

BRUCE WAYNE, BATMAN, GORDITA,

GORDITA SUPREME.

EVEN THIS WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH

FOR THE IDIOTS AT VIACOM WHO

EMPLOY ME AND MADE ME A STAR.

I JUST GOT THIS LETTER FROM

VIACOM'S LAWYERS.

I'LL READ IT ON THE AIR.

THEY SAY, PLEASE DO NOT READ

THIS ON THE AIR.

I CANNOT SEE THIS COMING.

JIMMY, LET'S REMEMBER TO EDIT

THAT OUT.

I'LL GIVE IT A SKIM HERE.

DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT, MEE MEOW

, I'LL PARAPHRASE.

WE ARE STUPID LAWYERS WHO HATE

FUNDS.

IF DO YOU THIS WE'RE SCARED THAT

PEOPLE MIGHT GET MAD AT US.

WE PAOED A LITTLE.

EVEN THOUGH WE IT'S TOTALLY

LEGAL WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET DO

YOU IT SINCERELY JOHN C -- I

HATE MY PARENT COMPANY!

THEY NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING.

[LAUGHTER]

EVERYONE ELSE EA PARENT COMPANY

LET THEM DO IT.

KARL ROVE IS A PAID MYEE OF FOX

NEWS AND HE GETS TO TALK ABOUT

HIS SUPERPAC AMERICAN CROSSROADS

ALL THE TIME.

>> AMERICAN CROSSROADS AND OTHER

GROUPS HAVE ANNOUNCED A $50

MILLION HOUSE SURGE STRATEGY.

>> THERE'S A NEW POLL OUT FROM

AMERICAN CROSSROADS.

>> FULL DISCLOSURE I'M INVOLVED

WITH AMERICAN CROSSROADS.

>> Stephen: HE CAN HAVE HIS

CAKE AND EAT IT, TOO.

IMAGINE HOW MUCH CAKE HE EATS.

FOX LETS PAID CONTRIBUTOR DICK

MORRIS DO IT.

SEE IF YOU CAN SEE HIM SUBTLY

sOIPPING HIS SUPERPAC IN THECONVERSATION

I SET UP SOMETHING CALLED

SUPERPAC U.S.A..COM.

SUPERPACUSA.COM.

I HAVE THIS THING CALLEDçó

SUPERPACUSA.COM.

DON'T WATCH THIS SHOW WITHOUT A

PENCIL AND PAPER.

>> Stephen: YES, ALWAYS WATCH

THE SHOW WITH A PENCIL AND

PAPER, FOX VIEWERS.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE PENCIL

PRIVILEGES EXPLAIN TO THE DAY

NURSE IT'S FOR AMERICA.

IT'S NOT JUST FOX.

NBC UNIVERSAL IS FINE WITH

DONALD TRUMP RUNNING HIS MOUTH

OFF ABOUT HIS POLITICAL

AMBITIONS ON THE CELEBRITY

APPRENTICE.

>> EVERYBODY IS SAYING I SHOULD

RUN FOR PRESIDENT.

MEATLOAF SHOULD I RUN FOR

PRESIDENT?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: INCIDENTALLY

MEATLOAF, SHOULD I RUN FOR

PRESIDENT IS THE SAME QUESTION

CHRIS CHRISTIE ASKS HIS DINNER

EVERY NIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND TO DATE THE