Colbert Super PAC - Hurricane Isaac & Stephen's Money Convention

  • Aired:  08/28/12
  •  | Views: 20,556

Hurricane Isaac disrupts the Republican National Convention speaker schedule, while Colbert Nation prepares for the first Colbert Super PAC Convention. (4:48)

MUCH AND HURRICANE ISAAC HAS HAD DEVASTATING EFFECTS ON THIS CONVENTION.

>> A LOT OF CHANGES HERE AT THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION,

ENTIRE EVENTS HAVE NOW BEEN CONDENSED INTO THREE DAYS.

>> Stephen: FLORIDA'S GOVERNOR'S RICK SCOTT CANCELED HIS APPEARANCES HERE, ALABAMA

GOVERNOR ROBERT BENTLEY CANCELED HIS APPEARANCES HERE AND MISSISSIPPI GOVERNOR FILL BRYANT

HAS DONE THE SAME.

>> DONALD TRUMP GOT BUMPED OUT OF THE SCERKSD HE WAS GOING TO SPEAK ON MONDAY, NOW NO LONGER

APPEARING AT ALL.

>> Stephen: NO TRUMP?

>> FOLKS, THIS IS THE BIGGEST,

CLASSIEST MOST DAZZLING DISAPPOINTMENT I EVER FELT.

>> I AM LIKE PRIMO DIAMOND ENCRUSTED SAD, OF COURSE THERE IS STILL GOING TO BE PLENTY OF

EXCITEMENT THIS WEEK BECAUSE CHRIS CHRISTIE IS GIVING THE KEYNOTE, PAUL RYAN WILL ACCEPT

THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION AND MARCO RUBIO WILL BE HISPANIC.

ALSO, ALSO, TIME PERMITTING,

MITT ROMNEY.

AND IT IS GOING TO BE EQUALLY THRILLING HERE ON THE REPORT BECAUSE WHILE I AM NOT IN TAMPA

THIS WEEK I WILL HOST THE FIRST EVER COLBERT SUPER PAC CONVENTION, YOU KNOW OUR MOTTO,

MAKING A BETTER TOMORROW,

TOMORROW.

THIS IS GOOD.

THIS WILL BE A WEEK LONG CELEBRATION OF UNLIMITED "MONEY AND POLITICS".

AND WE HAVE GOT DELEGATES HERE FROM ALL OF THE GREAT STATES OF MONEY, CASH, MOOLAH.

JUST GETTING MY BASIC WET.

>> GET, JUST GETTING MY BEAK WET.

AND A LITTLE SOMETHING,

SOMETHING.

YOU GUYS MILK THAT ONE.

OF COURSE, THERE IS A LOT TO DO DOWN IN TAMPA BESIDES THE CONVENTION.

THERE IS BUSH GARDENS.

NO, I MEANT, YOU KNOW, BUSH GARDENS.

>> THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY IS WELCOMING THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION TO TAMPA.

>> THE CITY IS MONEY FOR ITS DOZEN OF STRIP CLUBS, THEY EXPECT BRISK BUSINESS FROM

CONVENTION DELEGATES.

>> JUST TELL IT LIKE IT IS.

I AM GOING TO TAKE ALL THEIR MONEY.

>> Stephen: BUT DON'T WORRY,

YOU FOLK AT MY CONVENTION AREN'T GOING TO MISS OUT ON ANYTHING,

BECAUSE I HAVE ALSO HIRED A STRIPPER.

HOW ARE WE DOING, CANDY?

>> GREAT.

STRIPPING OFF JUST FINE.

PAINT IS STRIPPING OFF JUST FINE.

>> Stephen: OH, I BET IT IS.

YEAH.

EXPOSE THAT GRAIN.

AND WHEN YOU ARE DONE WITH THAT I NEED YOU TO REGROUT MY SHOWER.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

>> YOU MEAN YOU WANT ME TO WORK ON YOUR TILES.

>> Stephen: OH, YEAH.

I HAVE GOT A REAL MILDEW PROBLEM.

CANDY, EVERYBODY.

CANDY.

[ APPLAUSE ] OF COURSE AS WITH ANY CONVENTION SECURITY IS A MAJOR CONCERN.

SO BEFORE YOU WATCH ANYMORE OF THIS PROGRAM, BE SURE TO GET YOUR ALL ACCESS CONVENTION PASS

A AT COLBERT NATION.COM.

NOW TO GET THE PASS, YOU WILL JUST NEED TO ANSWER A SLEW OF PROBING SECURITY QUESTIONS LIKE

NAME PARTY AND FAVORITE REPETITIVE REPUBLICAN.

IS IT CHRIS CHRISTIE, ERIC,

ERICKSON, TOMMY COMPTON, HUGH,

HEWITT OR WHITEY WHITE MAN.

AND THEN FOR THE, THEN LAMINATE IT AND YOU ARE READY TO GO AND FOLKS, REST ASSURED THE

INFORMATION YOU PROVIDE ME IS STRICTLY PRIVATE.

IT IS JUST BETWEEN ME AND A BULGARIAN HERBAL VIAGRA SPAMMER.

REMEMBER, ONLY COLBERT NATION MEMBERS WEARING THEIR PROPER CREDENTIALS WILL BE PERMITTED TO

GO TO MY CONVENTION.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE, PLEASE TURN THE CHANNEL TO THAT LIFETIME MOVIE WHERE THE NANNY

SHOVES MOM DOWN THE STAIRS.

THAT WAS, HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.

NOW I WILL HAVE FULL COVERAGE OF TONIGHT'S EVENTS TOMORROW I AMITY SLOWING, TIVOING IT SO NO

ONE TELL ME HOW CHRISTI DOES DOES ON THE UNEVEN BARS.

IT IS GOING TO BE THRILLING IF YOU HAVE A HEART CONDITION OR ARE PREGNANT, YOU SHOULDN'T

WATCH NOT BECAUSE OF THE EXCITEMENT BECAUSE PROBABLY YOU WON'T LIKE THE