Breaking Newt

  • Aired:  05/18/11
  •  | Views: 31,517

Stephen tracks Newt Gingrich's position on health insurance with the Pandertron 8000. (5:54)

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU.

FOLKS -- EARLIER THIS WEEK I

TOUCHED ON THE CANDIDACY OF NEWT

GINGRICH AND I BELIEVE SOME OF

IT IS STILL STUCK TO ME.

[LAUGHTER]

FOLKS, I LIKE THIS GUY'S CHANCES

BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING IT'S

OVER BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS.

JUST BECAUSE WHILE NEWT WAS ON

THIS WEEK'S "MEET THE GREGORY"

HE SEEMS TO SUPPORT THE

REQUIREMENT THAT EVERYONE BUY

HEALTH INSURANCE IN OBAMA CARE.

>> I HAVE SAID CONSISTENTLY WE

OUGHT TO HAVE A REQUIREMENT TO

HAVE INSURANCE OR POST A BOND OR

INDICATE YOU'LL BE HELD

ACCOUNTABLE.

>> THAT'S THE INDIVIDUAL

MANDATE, IS IT NOT?

>> IT'S A VARIATION.

>> Stephen: YES, JUST LIKE

WIFE FLEE SAY VARIATION OF WIVES

ONE AND TWO.

OF COURSE, NEWT'S HONESTY SO

ALARMED THE BELTWAY CROWD THEY

TOOK OFF THE BELTS AND SPANKED

NEWT'S ASS UNTIL IT WAS SO PINK

AND SWOLLEN IT LOOKED LIKE

NEWT'S FACE.

JIM?

>> I THINK THE NUMBER ONE THING

YOU DON'T WANT TO DO WHEN YOU

START A CAMPAIGN IS ALIENATE

YOUR POLITICAL BASE.

>> NEWT GINGRICH HAS CLEANING UP

TO DO IF HE'S GOING TO GET HIS

CAMPAIGN ROLLING AGAIN.

>> HE BLEW HIMSELF UP NOT JUST

AS A CANDIDATE BUT IN A REAL

SENSE AS A REPUBLICAN.

>> Jon: WRONG.

NEWT CAN'T BLOW UP ANY FURTHER.

HE IS ALREADY INFLATED TO

MAXIMUM PRESSURE.

[LAUGHTER]

BESIDES, FOLKS, IT'S ALL A

MISUNDERSTANDING.

AS NEWT EXPLAINED WHILE ON A

BREAK FROM SELLING ORANGES ON

THE SIDE OF ROAD.

>> ANY EFFORT TO IMPOSE A

FEDERAL MANDATE ON ANYONE IT'S

FUNDAMENTALLY WRONG AND I

BELIEVE UN-- [HORN HONKING]

>> Stephen: SURE ON SUNDAY HE

WAS FOR INDIVIDUAL MANDATES AND

MONDAY HE FOUND IT

UNCONSTITUTIONAL.

THINGS CHANGE.

MAYBE BETWEEN SUNDAY AND MONDAY

HE READ THE CONSTITUTION FOR THE

FIRST TIME.

HE KNOWS A GOOD LEADER VIEWS ALL

SIDES OF AN ISSUE.

A GREAT LEADER TAKES ALL SIDES

OF AN ISSUE.

HE TOLD NEWSWEEK PAUL RYAN WAS A

BRAVE MAN OF IDEAS.

BUT ON SUNDAY HE DISMISSED HIS

PLAN AS TOO RADICAL.

>> I DON'T THINK RIGHT WING

SOCIAL ENGINEERING IS ANY MORE

DESIRABLE THAN LEFT WING SOCIAL

ENGINEERING.

>> Stephen: THAT SET OFF THE

UNQUESTIONED LEADERS OF

REPUBLICAN PARTY, ANGRY MIDDLE

AGED WHITE GUYS.

>> I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO PAUL

RYAN.

>> HE UNDERCUT HIMSELF -- HIM

AND HIS ALLIES IN THE HOUSE.

YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE

PARTY.

GET OUT BEFORE YOU MAKE A FOOL

OF YOURSELF.

>> Stephen: OH, OH, HE'S A

FOOL, REALLY?

OH, REALLY.

HE'S A FOOL?

YOU ARE THE ONE AT A NEWT

GINGRICH RALLY.

EXCUSE ME, I'M BEING TOLD IN MY

DEAF EAR THAT NEWT GINGRICH HAS

APPEARED ON THE GETRA -- GRETA

VAN SUSTEREN SHOW.

>> ARE YOU SAYING YOU CHOSE THE

WRONG WORDS OR IT'S NOT WHAT YOU

THOUGHT?

>> YOU LISTEN TO THE QUESTION

DAVID GREGORY ASKED ME I SHOULD

HAVE SAID I'M NOT GOING TO

ANSWER IT.

>> Stephen: YES, NO ONE HAS

ANY REASON TO BE UPSET ABOUT

NEWT'S IDEAS BECAUSE WE'RE NOT

SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE.

BESIDES NEWT GRANTED HIMSELF

FULL IMMUNITY FROM HIMSELF.

>> LET ME SAY ON THE RECORD ANY

AD WHICH QUOTES WHAT I SAID ON

SUNDAY IS SAY FALSEHOOD.

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

ANY ACCURATE QUOTE OF WHAT NEWT

SAID ARE FALSEHOODS ABOUT WHAT

NEWT SAID BECAUSE --

>> I HAVE SAID PUBLICLY THOSE

WORDS WERE INACCURATE.

>> Stephen: SO --

[LAUGHTER]

-- THE MORE ACCURATE YOU ARE

ABOUT HIS INACCURACIES, THE MORE

FALSE YOU'LL BECOME -- I NEED

SOME HELP.

[LAUGHTER]

LUCKILY I HAVE THE MOST

SOPHISTICATED CANDIDATE TRACKING

TECHNOLOGY.

PLEASE WELCOME THE PANDER TRON

8,000.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HI PANDER TRON.

>> PANDER TRON LOVES STEPHEN,

MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD.

>> Stephen: NOT NOW PANDER

TRON, NOT NOW.

ENTER POLITICAL MODE.

>> POLITICAL MODE ENGAGED.

ENTER TALKING POINTS DATA.

>> Stephen: I'M GOING TO

UPLOAD NEWT'S STATEMENT ABOUT

PAUL RYAN AND PROCESS.

>> ANALYZING, ANALYZING.

>> ANY AD WHICH QUOTES WHAT NEWT

GINGRICH SAID ON SUNDAY IS FALSE

BUT HIS ARRESTEDS ARE FALSE.

TWO EQUAL FALSES, ERRORS,

ERRORS, ERRORS, ERRORS!

>> Stephen: IT'S JUST A LITTLE

GLITCH, FOLKS.

>> CANNOT RECONCILE HUMAN

CONTRADICTION.

MUST KILL HUMANS.

KILL, KILL, KILL.

>> Stephen: NO PANDER TRON, I

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