Linsanity!

  • Aired:  02/13/12
  •  | Views: 113,392

You know things are rough when a Harvard economics grad like Jeremy Lin has an easier time getting a job as an NBA point guard than as a Wall Street bond trader. (4:53)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN")

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU VERY

MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE "REPORT,"

EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

WELL, FOLKS, THE SHOW WAS ON

HIATUS LAST WEEK IN OBSERVANCE

OF YOM KI-MARTIN LUTHER FOURTH

OF JUL-EASTER.

(LAUGHTER)

ONE OF THE MANY LONG RELIGIOUS

FESTIVALS I'VE HAD ENGINEERED

INTO MY SCHEDULE SINCE I

CONVERTED TO ORTHODOX OWNING A

SAILBOATISM.

(LAUGHTER)

AND, AS USUAL, THERE WAS LOTS OF

BIG NEWS OVER THE MY BREAK.

(LAUGHTER)

MOST OF IT WAS BAD FOR HANDSOME

MILLIONAIRES FROM MASSACHUSETTS.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YES, MY VERY OWN NEW YORK GIANTS

WON A WHOLE MESS OF SUPER BOWL!

WHOO!

WHOO, BABY!

WHOO!

AND THE CITY HAS BEEN

CELEBRATING HARD.

LAST WEEK, NEW YORK THREW THE

CHAMPIONS A TICKER TAPE PARADE

DOWN THE CANYON OF HEROES!

IRAQ WAR VETS, WE WILL GET TO

YOU EVENTUALLY.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT AS MUCH AS I LOVE ME THE

FOOTBALL, I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF

PROFESSIONAL BALL IN HOOP.

(LAUGHTER)

THE N.B.A. LOGO DOWN THERE.

THE ACTUAL N.B.A. LOGO LICENSING

FEE IS VERY EXPENSIVE SO...

(LAUGHTER)

WE WENT WITH THE GENERIC DOWN

HERE.

I THINK IT GETS THE IDEA OF A

LOGO ACROSS EVEN BETTER THAN THE

ACTUAL LOGO.

THE POINT IS, I LOVE THE GAME.

THE SLAM DUNKING, THE LAYOUTS,

THE RIM JOBS, ALL OF IT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND LIKE ALL TRUE NEW YORKERS,

RIGHT NOW I AM CAUGHT UP IN THE

TIDAL WAVE THAT IS NEW YORK

NICKS POINT GUARD JEREMY LIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THIS KID... THIS KID... HIGH

FIVE!

(LAUGHTER)

THIS KID HAS SINGLE-HANDEDLY

DONE THE UNTHINKABLE: MADE

PEOPLE WANT TO WATCH THE NEW

YORK NICKS!

(APPLAUSE)

>> IN ONE WEEK HE'S GONE FROM

THE BENCH TO THE TOP OF THE

N.B.A., HE WASN'T DRAFTED OUT OF

COLLEGE.

TWO N.B.A. TEAMS-- ROCKETS AND

GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS CUT HIM--

THE INCOME NICKS SCOOPED HIM UP

BUT SENT HIM DOWN TO THE

D-LEAGUE AND BECAUSE OF INJURIES

HE WAS CALLED BACK TO THE TEAM

AND IN ONE WEEK THIS UNKNOWN

ASIAN AMERICAN WITH A DEGREE IN

ECONOMICS FROM HARVARD HAS PUT

UP LE BRON JAMES LIKE NUMBERS.

>> HE CAME OUT OF VIRTUALLY

NOWHERE.

>> Stephen: YES, HE CAME OUT OF

NOWHERE WHICH IS MY NICKNAME FOR

HARVARD.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, YOU KNOW THINGS ARE ROUGH

WHEN A HARVARD ECONOMICS GRAD

HAS AN EASIER TIME GETTING A JOB

AS AN N.B.A. POINT GUARD THAN A

WALL STREET BOND TRADER.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, I'M NOT SOME FAIR-WEATHER

FAN.

I'VE BEEN BEHIND MY BOY LIN

SINCE DAY ONE OF SOME TIME LAST

WEEK.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, THERE IS A NAME FOR WHAT

WE'RE FEELING.

>> LIN-SANITY CONTINUES.

>> IT'S BECOME LIN-SANITY NEW

YORK.

>> NEW YORK BASKETBALL FANS HAVE

A RANGING RAGING CASE OF

LIN-SANITY.

>> Stephen: YES, I'VE HAD A

RAGING CASE OF LIN-SANITY.

I HAVE BEEN DECLARED LEGALLY

LIN-SANE.

MY SYMPTOMS?

LIN SOMNIA.

REST LEST LIN SYNDROME AND

LIN-TESTINAL BLOCKAGE.

(LAUGHTER)

FOLKS, IT'S AN EXCITING TIME.

FANS HAVE NOT COME DOWN WITH A

BASKETBALL-BORN DISEASE THIS

INTENSE SINCE THE MID-'70s

OUTBREAK OF KAREEM ABDUL

JA-BOTULISM.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT LIN-SANITY, IT CAUGHT THE

N.B.A. OFF GUARD.

ALL THE JEREMY LIN JERSEYS THAT

WERE ON THE SHELVES SOLD OUT--

BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ANY.

(LAUGHTER)

BEST OF ALL, JEREMY LIN HERE IS

CURRENTLY WITHOUT A CORPORATE

SPONSOR WHICH MEANS HE'S IN THE

MARKET FOR ENDORSEMENT DEALS.

SO, MR. LIN, IN THE SPIRIT OF

LIN-SANITY, I HOPE YOU WILL

CONSIDER ENDORSING MY LINE OF

PREMIUM LIN-OLEUM TILES.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

TOUGH STUFF.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

PEEL AND STICK.

IT GOES EVERYWHERE.

AND, OF COURSE, JEREMY LINT.

AS WE SPEAK, I AM DRYING SOCKS

AND TOWELS AS FAST AS I CAN TO

MEET WHAT I

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