Nashville Flood Wakeboarder

  • Aired:  05/05/10
  •  | Views: 57,754

The fun police bust a guy wakeboarding on top of what was once a productive Nashville business district. (3:53)

THERE IS JUST SO MUCH NEWS TO COVER, LET'S GET RIGHT TO IT.

JIM, NEWS ME.

>> SO MUCH NEWS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

WE'RE HITTING AS MUCH OF IT AS WE CAN.

>> A LOT OF NEWS TODAY.

>> OH, DEFINITELY.

>> WE HAVE A LOT OF NEWS TO COVER HERE TONIGHT.

>> WE HAVE A JAM-PACKED 90 MINUTES AHEAD.

>> WE HAVE A LOT OF NEWS TO COVER IN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES.

>> WE HAVE A LOT OF NEWS TO GET TO AND ONLY THREE MINUTES TO DO IT.

HIT THE CLOCK.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

WHAT?

NO, NO.

I DON'T CARE HOW URGENT THE NEWS IS,LY NOT LET CONTESSA BREWER MAKE ME HER BITCH.

NOT... NOT THAT IT HASN'T CROSSED MY MIND.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT COME ON, FELLAS, WHY THE RUSH?

CAN'T WE REPORT THESE STORIES WITHOUT GETTING OUR TELEPROMPTERS IN A BUNCH?

[LAUGHTER]

IN OUR RUSH TO COVER THE BIG ONES, WE MIGHT MISS THE REAL STORY INSIDE THE STORY, LIKE THE

FAILURE OF THE GREEK ECONOMY.

WHY IS NO ONE INVESTIGATING GOLDMAN SACHS FOR HIDING THE GREEK NATIONAL DEBT?

WHAT ABOUT THE GULF OIL SPILL?

IS IT REALLY BP'S RESPONSIBILITY OR THE COMPANY THAT DRILLED THE WELL AND OWNED THE RIGS?

OR THE TIMES SQUARE BOMBER, HE WAS ON THE NO-FLY LIST.

HOW DID HE GET ON THE PLANE?

IS HE ACTUALLY A GENIE?

[LAUGHTER]

AND WHILE, WHILE I AM GLAD WE'RE FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO THE

FLOODING IN TENNESSEE, BECAUSE IT IS A TRAGIC LOSS OF LIFE AND PROPERTY, AND OUR HEARTS GO OUT

THE EVERYONE THERE, I THINK IN HUMILITY WE BIG MEDIA BOYS SHOULD TAKE A PAGE FROM A CNN

I-REPORTER WHO CAPTURED SOME VERY UPSETTING FOOTAGE DURING THE AFTERMATH OF THE FLOODING.

NOW, I WANT TO WARN MY VIEWERS,

THIS IS VERY HARD TO WATCH.

IF YOU HAVE YOUNG CHILDREN IN THE ROOM, MAKE THEM WATCH IT FOR YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

JIM?

>> HERE'S A TRUCK THAT SEEMS TO BE STALLED IN THE TOXIC STEW THAT SWALLOWED THE COUNTY.

BUT WAIT.

WHAT'S THIS?

AWESOME!

CUT WIDE UNTIL HE IS BUSTED BY THE FUN POLICE.

WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, SERGEANT BUZZSHACKLE.

[AUDIENCE BOOS]

BOO IS RIGHT.

DID YOU NOT SEE THAT SWEET GLASS ON TOP OF WHAT WAS ONCE A PRODUCTIVE BUSINESS DISTRICT?

WOOO!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

NOW, LONG-TIME VIEWERS KNOW THAT I AM A WAKE MONSTER.

CHECK IT.

OKAY.

THAT IS ME.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND ALL THESE DUDES WERE SAYING,

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, YOU GOT TO RIDE THAT LEMONADE,

BECAUSE BABY, IT LOOKS SO TASTY.

SO TAKE YOUR XANEX, "CSI: NASHVILLE," IT'S NOT LIKE THE

DUDE PULLED A BUTTERSLIDE 180 ACROSS THE HOOD OF YOUR POLICE CRUISER, ALTHOUGH THAT WOULD BE SICK.

[LAUGHTER]

SO I SAY TO MY FELLOW WAKE DOG,

DON'T LET A HEARTBREAKING HUMANITARIAN CRISIS OF UNPRECEDENTED SCALE HARSH YOUR GLIDE.

YOU STAY SOAKED, MY BRAHS.

IT IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS RIGHT NOW.

IN FACT, I THINK YOU AND YOUR CREW SHOULD HEAD DOWN TO THE GULF TO BLOWTORCH FOR SOME

WICKED FLAMEBORDING.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THERE WAS SOME QUESTION ON THE WINGS OVER HERE ABOUT WHETHER I DID THIS CORRECTLY.||

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