Philippines Typhoon Relief

  • Aired:  11/14/13
  •  | Views: 111,490

Stephen invites the Colbert Nation to join him in providing aid to the victims of Typhoon Haiyan. (2:46)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY, THANK YOUSO.

FOR JOINING ME.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SOMUCH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

PLEASE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I GOT TO SAY, THAT TASTE

LIKE GREATNESS.

NATION, WE'VE ALL SEEN THEDEVASTATION IN THE

PHILIPPINES CAUSED BYTYPHOON HAIYAN, IT IS AN

UNTHINKABLE TRAGEDY AND WESEND OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYER

TO THOSE IN NEED BUT IT ISNOT ALL WE'RE SENDING.

>> UNITED STATES MILITARYTAKING SIGNIFICANT STEPS TO

HELP TYPHOON RECOVERYOPERATION.

>> U.S.S. GEORGE WASHINGTONIS NOW IN THE GULF IN THE

AREA.

IT BRINGS WITH IT 80AIRCRAFT, 5,000 SAILORS ALL

READY TO DELIVER FOOD, WATERAND MEDICINE.

>> THE U.S. ALSO PROVIDING$20 MILLION IN IMMEDIATE

AID.

>> FOLKS, AMERICA TAKES ALOTOF SLACK JUST BECAUSE WE SPY

ON OUR ALI, INVADE COUNTRIESON HUNCHES AND THREATEN TO

TANK THE GLOBAL ECONOMY AS AFUND-RAISING TOOL.

BUT FACE IT, WHEN THE[BLEEP] GOES DOWN THE WORLD

NEEDS HEROES, NOBODY SAYSTHANK GODS THE BELGIANS ARE

HERE.

OH, I HOPE THEY BROUGHT USSOME WAFFLES.

(LAUGHTER)NATION, THIS MAKES ME PROUD

TO BE AN AMERICAN.

TO KNOW THAT MY TAX DOLLARSARE GOING TO HELP PEOPLE IF

I PAY TAXES.

I HAVE AN EXCELLENTACCOUNTANT.

HE SAID IF A SHELL TER, ITHINK THE FEEL POOENS.

>> AMERICA HAS PUT OUR MONEYWHERE OUR MOUTH S THE BOOTS

ON THE GROUND AND HADS INTHE AIR LIKE WE JUST DO

CARE.

CAN'T SAY THE THEM THINGABOUT SO-CALLED SUPERPOWER

CHINA.

>> CHINA GETTING A BIT OFCRITICISM.

THEY'VE BEEN IN A LONG-TERMDISPUTE, A LAND DISPUTE, BUT

GUESS WHAT THEY'RE ONLYGIVING $100,000.

>> WOW APPARENTLY THECHINESE SYMBOL FOR CRISIS IS

ALSO THE ONE FOR BITE ME.

SERIOUSLY, THE NATION OFCHINA PLEDGED ONLY $100,000.

I BET THE COLBERT NATIONCOULD GIVE MORE THAN THAT?

WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU KNOW

WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT, FOLKS, NATION,LET'S DO IT.

LET'S OUTDONATE CHINA.

TO DONATE $10 TO CONVOY OFHOPE TYPHOON RESPONSE

EFFORTS JUST TEXT COLBERT TO50555, YOUR DONATION WILL

HELP BRING CLEAN WATER ANDFOOD TO THE VICTIMS OF

TYPHOON HAIYAN, LET'S KICKCHINA'S ASS AT BEING

COMPASSIONATE BECAUSE WE AREA BROTHERHOOD OF MAN YOU

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