Happy Mardi Gras & International Women's Day

  • Aired:  03/08/11
  •  | Views: 52,804

Stephen celebrates women's regrettable self-exposure and their achievements on Mardi Gras Day. (2:14)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

"REPORT," THANK YOU FOR JOINING

US, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!

WHOO!

WHOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHOO!

WHO WANTS SOME BEADS?

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LAISSEZ LES BON TEMPS ROULER,

WHICH I BELIEVE IS FRENCH FOR

"SHOW ME YOUR TITTAYS!"

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT.

JIMMY, PLEASE DO NOT SHOW OUR

HOME AUDIENCE ANY OF THEIR

TITTAYS.

(LAUGHTER)

NOT THAT THEY WEREN'T LOVELY.

THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT TODAY WE CELEBRATE MORE THAN

JUST PREDATORY GOADING OF

DRUNKEN WOMEN INTO REGRETTABLE

SELF-EXPOSURE.

IT IS ALSO THE 100th ANNIVERSARY

OF INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

A DAY TO INSPIRE AND CELEBRATE

THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF WOMEN ALL

AROUND THE WORLD.

FROM THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF

ORANGE COUNTY TO THE REAL YURT

TENDERS OF ULAN BATOR.

(LAUGHTER)

CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THAT TRAMP

ALT-ANT-SET-SEG SAID ABOUT

OY-UUNCH-IMEG'S FERMENTED MARE

MILK?

MEOW.

(LAUGHTER)

SO I WANT TO SALUTE WOMEN FOR

ALL OF THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS ON

THIS MARDI GRAS DAY, THE ONLY

WAY I KNOW HOW.

HEY, LADIES, SHOW ME YOUR

ADVANCED DEGREES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHOO!

COME ON!

FLASH ME YOUR ABILITY TO BALANCE

A SATISFYING CAREER WITH A RICH

HOME LIFE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHOO!

THAT WAS HOT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND IT WILL ALL BE AVAILABLE ON

MY NEW D.V.D. SERIES "GIRLS GONE

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