"Accidental Racist" Song

  • Aired:  04/17/13
  •  | Views: 550,462

Brad Paisley is so committed to kick starting a dialogue between blacks and whites that he starts one mid-song with LL Cool J. (5:42)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,

EVERYBODY.

THANKS SO MUCH.

NATION, I AM A HUGE FAN OF

COUNTRY MUSIC.

FROM HANK WILLIAMS TO LUCINDA

WILLIAMS TO VENUS AND SERENA

WILLIAMS.

THEY ARE TO COUNTRY MUSIC WHAT

BROOKS AND DUNN ARE TO TENNIS.

AND MY FAVORITE COUNTRY SINGER

IS BRAD PAISLEY.

I LOVE ALL HIS SONGS FROM

ALCOHOL TO CAMOUFLAGE TO

TOOTHBRUSH TO CHICKEN CHET.

HE WRITES A LOT OF HIS SONGS

INSPIRED BY VALIDATING HIS

IDENTITY AT WEBSITES.

BUT NOW PAISLEY IS INSPIRED BY A

MUCH HIGHER GOAL: SOLVING

RACISM.

FOLKS, LET'S TAKE A LITTLE

LISTEN TO PAISLEY'S NEW SONG

"ACCIDENTAL RACIST."

♪ TO THE MAN THAT WAITED ON ME

AT THE STARBUCKS DOWN ON MAIN ♪♪

♪ I HOPE YOUçó UNDERSTAND ♪♪

IS

♪ WHEN I PUT ON THAT TEE-SHIRT,

THE ONLY THING I MEANT TO SAY IS

I'M A SKYNYRD FAN ♪♪

THE RED FLAG ON MY CHEST SOMEHOW

IS LIKE THE ELEPHANT IN THE

CORNER OF THE SOUTH ♪♪

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

CALM DOWN, AFRICAN-AMERICAN

BARISTAS.

EVERYONE KNOWS THIS FLAG UP HERE

JUST MEANS SOMEONE'S A SKYNYRD

FAN.

THE SAME WAY THAT BURNING A

CROSS JUST MEANS SOMEONE'S A

MADONNA FAN.

BY THE WAY, JEFFERSON DAVIS,

HUGE SKYNYRD FAN.

GOT ON BOARD WAY EARLY.

FOLKS, PAISLEY IS SO COMMITTED

TO KICK STARTING A DIALOGUE

BETWEEN BLACKS AND WHITES THAT

HE EVEN STARTED ONE MID SONG

WITH N.C.I.S. GLOSS STAR

LINEBACKER L. COOL ., WHO -- AND

I DID NOT KNOW THIS -- IS ALSO

AN ASPIRING RAPPER.

JIM?

♪ GEE, MR. WHITE MAN, I WISH YOU

UNDERSTOOD WHAT THE WORLD IS

REALLY LIKE WHEN YOU'RE LIVING

IN THE HOOD ♪♪

♪ JUST BECAUSE MY PANTS ARE

SAGGING DOESN'T MEAN I'M UP TO

KNOW GOOD.

I'D LIKE TO BUY YOU A BEER,

CONVERSATE AND CLEAR THE AIR BUT

I SEE THAT RED FLAG AND I THINK

YOU WISH I WASN'T HERE.

♪♪

I'M JUST A WHITE MAN ♪♪

♪ IF YOU DON'T JUDGE MY

DO-RAG ♪♪

♪ COMIN' TO YOU FROM THE SOUTH

LAND ♪♪

♪ I WON'T JUDGE YOUR RED FLAG ♪♪

♪ TRYIN' TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S

LIKE TO NOT BE ♪♪

I'M PROUD OF WHERE I'M FROM ♪♪

>> Stephen: THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD

DEAL, PAISLEY.

L.L. WILL FORGET 250 YEARS OF

ENSLAVEMENT IF YOU ACCEPT HIS

TASTE IN ACCESSORIES.

NATION, I THOUGHT RACISM ENDED

WHEN WE ELECTED THE FIRST BLACK

PRESIDENT BUT IT TURNS OUT HE

WAS JUST THE OPENING ACT.

BECAUSE THIS SONG HAS UNITED ALL

AMERICANS NOT JUST BLACK AND

WHITE BUT LATINO, ASIAN, MUSLIM,

PACIFIC ISLANDER, INUIT.

ALL OF US TO JOIN OUR VOICES AS

ONE AND DECLARE: THIS SONG

SUCKS!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I'VE GOT TO SAY, THIS LEVEL OF

UNIFYING SUCKAGE HAS INSPIRED ME

TO WRITE MY OWN AWFUL SONG...

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

... IN THE HOPES OF BRIDGING

ANOTHER DEEP CULTURAL RIFT IN

AMERICA: THE GAY MARRIAGE

DIVIDE.

SO TONIGHT I'D LIKE TO PRESENT A

SONG I'M CALLING "OOPSY DAISY

HOMO PHONE."

JIM-IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

♪ TO THE MAN STRETCHING NEXT TO

ME ♪♪

♪ AT THE CRUNCH GYM DOWN ON

MAIN ♪♪

♪ I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND ♪♪

♪ WHEN I TOLD YOU "GOD HATES

FAGS" THE ONLY THING I MEANT TO

SAY IS I'M A SKYNYRD FAN ♪♪

♪ HEY, MR. STRAIGHT MAN, I WISH

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT'S LIKE TO

LIVE IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU LOOK

THIS GOOD ♪♪

♪ IT DON'T MAKE ME A FREAK THAT

I RUN SIX TIMES A WEEK I'D LOVE

TO BUY YOU A MOJITO, GOSSIP AND

CLEAR THE AIR ♪♪

♪ BUT I SEE YOUR SHOW EACH NIGHT

AND I THINK YOU WISH I WASN'T

QUEER ♪♪

♪ I'M JUST A STRAIGHT MAN.

I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE WHEN I

SEE YOU KISSING DUDES ♪♪

♪ I'M PROUD OF MY HETERO CRED.

>> I'LL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID

ABOUT MONKEYS

♪ NOW THAT GAY IS FINE LET'S

DEAL WITH PALESTINE

♪ TWO STATE SOLUTION, BABY.

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪ I'M JUST A STRAIGHT MAN, A

CERTIFIED TITTY

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