Grim Colberty Tales with Maurice Sendak Pt. 2

  • Aired:  01/25/12
  •  | Views: 491,074

Maurice Sendak considers the state of children's literature and gets high on markers. (7:05)

HERMAN CAIN.

NOW, FOLKS, ANYBODY WATCHING

THIS SHOW KNOWS THAT I HAVE

CONQUERED ALL MEDIA EXCEPT ONE.

CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THEM!

THE COW JUMPED OVER THE MOON?

THAT IS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE!

BECAUSE EVEN IF SHE MADE IT, SHE

WOULD BURN UP ON REENTRY.

(LAUGHTER)

DOESN'T PASS THE SMELL TEST.

BUT MY FELLOW CELEBRITIES ARE

CRANKING OUT THE KIDS' BOOKS.

SO TO CASH IN LAST NIGHT I SAT

DOWN WITH LEGENDARY AUTHOR OF

"WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE"

MAURICE SEINE DAK AND NOW THE

DRAMATIC MORE OF IT.

>> WHY WRITE FOR CHILDREN?

>> I DON'T WRITE FOR CHILDREN.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T?

>> NO, I WRITE.

AND SOMEBODY SAYS "THAT'S FOR

CHILDREN."

I DIDN'T SET OUT TO MAKE

CHILDREN HAPPY.

>> Stephen: AND NOW THE STORY

BOOKENDING OF "GRIM COLBERTY

TALES" WITH MAURICE SENDAK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE CURRENT

STATE OF CHILDREN'S LITERATURE?

>> ABYSMAL.

>> Stephen: THERE'S SO MUCH OF

IT, THOUGH.

>> THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT ABYSMAL.

>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT

SOME OF YOUR COMPETITION.

GIVE ME YOUR REVIEWS.

"GREEN EGGS AND HAM."

>> GOOD.

>> Stephen: GREEN EGGS AND

HAM" GOOD.

>> EVERYTHING BY SEUSS IS GOOD.

>> Stephen: REALLY.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: GIVE A MOUTH A

COOKIE."

>> MMEH.

>> Stephen: YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE

A MOUSE A COOKIE.

>> YOU SHOULD OPEN THE DOOR

SAYING "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY

HOUSE."

>> Stephen: CURIOUS GEORGE?

>> GREAT.

>> Stephen: I DON'T BELIEVE IN

MONKEYS IN THE HOUSE EITHER.

>> YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

>> Stephen: NO, THEY THROW

THEIR FECES.

THE MONKEY WILL BITE YOUR FACE

OFF.

>> THEY WON'T DO THAT.

>> Stephen: HE COULD HAVE AT

ANY MOMENT.

HAVE I CHANGED YOUR MIND ON

"CURIOUS GEORGE?"

>> Stephen:.

>> .

>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE IN FAVOR

OF CHILDREN GETTING THEIR FACES

CHEWED OFF.

"GIRL WITH A DRAGON TATTOO?"

>> ISN'T THAT AN ADULT NOVEL?

>> Stephen: THAT'S PREJUDICED

OF YOU.

SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN SO GHETTOIZED

IN THEIR WORK WOULD SAY A CHILD

COULDN'T READ A BOOK ABOUT

MURDER AND SAY DOE MAST

MASOCHISM.

>> YOU TRAPPED ME.

YOU TRAPPED ME.

ZED.

>> Stephen: CHECK MATE, SIR.

>> YOU'RE WRONG BUT YOU TRAPPED

ME.

>> Stephen: AM I?

SO OTHER PEOPLE CAN BE PIGEON

HOLED BUT YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO

MAURICE SENDAK.

THAT'S A CRIME.

>> HOW ABOUT THAT.

I DESERVED THAT.

>> Stephen: DOUBLE STANDARD

MUCH?

LET'S SHIFT GEARS.

EVERY CELEBRITY IS OUT THERE

CASHING IN ON CHILDREN'S BOOKS

AND I WANT IN.

WHAT'S IT TAKE FOR A CELEBRITY

TO MAKE A SUCCESSFUL BOOK?

>> WELL, YOU'VE STARTED ALREADY

BY BEING AN IDIOT.

THAT'S REALLY THE VERY FIRST

DEMAND.

>> Stephen: IDIOT?

>> IDIOT.

>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU SPELL

THAT?

>> AFTER THE HAT, YOU KNOW THE

FORMULA.

>> Stephen: YOU JUST NEED AN

ANIMAL AND SOMETHING THEY'VE

LOST.

>> WELL, YES, I MEAN MOST BOOKS

FOR CHILDREN ARE VERY BAD.

>> Stephen: SQUIRREL LOST

THEIR MITTENS.

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> Stephen: THE BUFFALO LOST

ITS GUN.

>> YOU'VE JUST WRITTEN TWO

CHILDREN'S BOOKS.

>> Stephen: I'VE GOT A STORY,

CAN I READ IT TO YOU?

>> DO YOU HAVE TO?

>> Stephen: I'S CALLED "I AM

APPALLED AND SO CAN YOU."

I AM A POLE AND SO CAN YOU.

I AM A POLE, THAT MUCH IS CLEAR

TO ME.

BUT JUST WHAT TYPE OF POLE COULD

I POSSIBLY BE?

I TRIED TO BE A POLE FOR

VAULTING BUT I COULDN'T SEEM TO

BEND.

I WOULD LOVE TO BE A SKI POLE

BUT FOR THAT I'D NEED A FRIEND.

I WISHED I WAS THE NORTH POLE

AND MARK THE HOME OF SANTA OR

EVEN JUST A GALLUP POLL CALLING

VOTERS IN ATLANTA.

(LAUGHTER)

I CONSIDERED FIREMEN AND

FISHING, WAS IT TOTEM FOR SOME

TIME?

AND EVEN TRIED TO BE A STRIPPER

POLE BUT I COULDN'T STAND THE

GRIND.

(LAUGHTER)

BUT THEN ONE DAY IN MY DEPTH OF

DESPAIR SOME SCOUTS BROUGHT ME

OLD GLORY AS SOMETHING TO WEAR.

AND WHILE SHE DANCED AND SHE

WAVED, IT BECAME CLEAR TO ME I'M

THE BEST KIND OF POLE YOU CAN

POSSIBLY BE.

I'M AN AMERICAN FLAGPOLE NOW

PLEDGE A LIEGE YANS OR ELSE.

>> (LAUGHS).

>> Stephen:

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> I LIKE IT.

>> Stephen: CAN I GET THAT AS

A BLURB.

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> Stephen: "THE SAD THING IS

I LIKE IT."

>> IT'S A GOOD BLURB.

AND WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS GET A

POPULAR ILLUSTRATOR WHO HAS A

HORRIBLE SENSE OF DESIGN, NO

TASTE FOR TYPE, NOTHING ABOUT

THE AESTHETICS OF WHAT A PICTURE

BOOK WOULD LOOK LIKE AND YOU

WILL PROBABLY MAKE A LOT OF

MONEY.

>> Stephen: WOULD YOU TEACH ME

HOW TO DRAW?

>> NO.

>> Stephen: SO THIS IS WHERE

YOU DO ALL YOUR WORK?

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: I'M TRYING TO

FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW A POLE.

I'M NOT VERY GOOD A DRAWING.

LET ME TRY A POLE HERE.

>> BE CAREFUL.

I ASSUME YOU WERE HUFFING THESE

WHEN YOU DRAW "WHERE THE WILD

THINGS ARE."

>>

♪ I REMEMBER PEARL HARBOR..." ♪

(LAUGHTER)

THAT JUST PULLED THE SONG RIGHT

OUT OF ME.

>> Stephen: RIGHT OUT OF YOU.

>> RIGHT OUT OF MY NOSE.

>> Stephen: WE GOT A MOUNTAIN.

A CLOUD.

A POLISH WOMAN HOLDING A POLE.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: IT COULD BE A

POLISH STRIPPER.

>> THAT'S WHAT I THINK.

>> Stephen: ANY ADVICE HERE?

>> NO, I JUST... I WOULD LEAVE

IT ALONE BECAUSE IT HAS A KIND

OF DELICACY AND IRRATIONALITY

AND... TERRIBLE QUALITY OF

ORDINARINESS.

>> Stephen: TERRIBLY ORDINARY.

MAURICE SENDAK, THAT'S ANOTHER

GREAT BLURB.

>> SUPREMELY ORDINARY.

>> Stephen: WELL, MOSHE, I

THINK WITH MY FANTASTIC BOOK

IDEA, MY WORDS, MY DRAWINGS AND

YOUR BLURB I THINK WE'VE GOT A

HIT HERE.

>> I KNOW WE DO.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, SIR.

(APPLAUSE)

FOLKS, ONCE I GET A PUBLISHER I

"I AM A POLE AND SO CAN YOU

"REASON AVAILABLE IN BOOKSTORES

EVERYWHERE IN HARD COVER, PAPER

BACK, MAYBE EVEN AN E-BOOK.

WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT THAT,

MAURICE?

>> (BLEEP)ING WILL I SAY?

I HATE THOSE E-BOOKS, THEY CAN

NOT BE THE FUTURE.

THEY MAY WELL BE... I WILL BE

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