Colbertslist

  • Aired:  09/21/10
  •  | Views: 30,831

Stephen closely monitors every ad on Colbertslist to make sure they're free from sexual solicitation. (3:05)

EVERYBODY.

NATION, YOU'RE VERY KIND.

THANK YOU.

NATION, I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT MY

GUEST TONIGHT, GOOGLE C.E.O.

ERIC SCHMIDT.

I ASSUME FOR EVERY QUESTION I

ASK HIM, HE WILL SHOW ME A

RELEVANT AD.

A POWERFUL MAN WITH ACCESS TO

EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER GOOGLED

TO TEACHING YOUR CAT TO JET SKI

TO CAT FIRST AID TO ARE CATS

VENGEFUL?

AND FOLKS, PRIVACY ON THE

INTERNET HAS BECOME A HUGE,

SHOE.

TAKE THE RECENT NEWS ABOUT ONE

OF OUR MOST TREASURED ONLINE

INSTITUTIONS, CRAIGSLIST.

JIM?

>> ATTORNEYS GENERAL FROM 17

STATES SENT CRAIGSLIST A LETTER

DEMANDING THAT IT TAKE DOWN ITS

ADULT SERVICES SECTION.

>> IT LOOKS LIKE CRAIG LIST

ADULT SERVICES SECTION IS DONE

FOR GOOD.

A CRAIGSLIST OFFICIAL MADE THAT

ANNOUNCEMENT DURING A

CONGRESSIONAL HEARING YESTERDAY.

>> Stephen: TYPICAL LIBERAL

CONGRESS SPILLING SECRETS.

THOSE ADS WERE CLASSIFIED.

FRANKLY I'M DISAPPOINTED.

CRAIGSLIST ADULT SERVICES

SECTION WAS A PERFECT PLACE TO

FIND HELP WITH GROWN-UP THINGS,

LIKE PLUMBING.

I PUT UP AN AD FOR LAYING SOME

PIPE AND I GOT A RESPONSE RIGHT

AWAY.

SO FRANKLY I WAS SURPRISED AT

THE MAN WHO SHOWED UP ONLY

BROUGHT ONE TOOL.

WELL, IT TURNS OUT, FOLKS, ADULT

SERVICES ALSO MEANS SEX, AND NOT

YOUR NORMAL LIGHTS-ON, ONE FOOT

ON THE FLOOR WEARING CHRISTMAS

SWEATER SEX.

BUT I SAY THE STATES ATTORNEY

GENERALS AREN'T DOING ENOUGH.

THEY MAY HAVE SHUT DOWN SMUT ON

CRAIGSLIST,BUT I HAVE JUST

LEARNED, AWB I HOPE YOU'RE

SITTING DOWN, FOLKS, THERE ARE

OTHER SITES ON THE INTERNET.

JIM?

>> THEY SHUT DOWN CRAIGSLIST

WITH THE ADULT SERVICES SECTION.

PLENTY MORE SITES AVAILABLE.

>> IT'S LIKE A GAME OF

WHACK-A-MOLE.

YOU KNOCK THEM DOWN IN ONE

PLACE, THEY POP UP SOMEPLACE

ELSE.

>> LIKE YOU SAID, WHACK-A-MOLE.

>>

>> Stephen: BY THE WAY,

WHACKING THE MOLE IS NOT

SOMETHING YOU'RE ALLOWED TO

SOLICIT ON CRAIGSLIST ANYMORE.

WELL, CLEARLY SOME WHACK A MOLE

FANS TONIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

CLEARLY WE NEED A SAFE, CLEAN

SITE FOR TRADING GOODS AND

SERVICES ONLINE.

THAT'S WHY I'M PROUD TO

INTRODUCE COLBERTSLIST.COM.

AT COLBERTSLIST.COM, I CLOSELY

MONITOR EVERY AD THE MAKE SURE

THEY'RE FREE FROM SEXUAL

SOLICITATION, JUST LOOK AT THIS

AD FROM OUR CARS AND TRUCKS

SECTION.

POWDER BLUE FORD PINTO, DENTED

FENDER.

MY HUSBAND LIKES THE WATCH.

I ASSUME HER HUSBAND IS SOME

KIND OF CONSUMER ADVOCATE.

OR THIS POSTING FROM MY JOBS'

SECTION.

MARINE BIOLOGIST LOOKING FOR A

QUALIFIED ASSISTANT.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

I NEED A B.J., $75.

SOUNDS LIKE A LUCRATIVE

POSITION, ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE

WHY A MARINE BIOLOGIST NEEDS A

BEEKEEPER'S JACKET.

SO GO TO COLBERTSLIST.COM, WHERE

WE HAVE TAKEN THE "ASS" OUT OF

CLASSIFIED.

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