Colbert Super PAC - Super Fun Pack 1st Treasure Hunt Clue

  • Aired:  04/26/12
  •  | Views: 13,793

One thousand college students receive their Colbert Super PAC Super Fun Pack, so Stephen unveils the launch clue and silver treasure. (4:48)

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

I THINK THE CHOICE IS CLEAR.

NOW, LUCKILY, FOLKES, I DON'T NEED ANY HELP RELATING TO THE YOUTH KIDS BECAUSE I'M YOUNG.

I ALWAYS-- ( CHEERING ) YEAH, THANK YOU.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

THEY KNOW I'M YOUNG BECAUSE I ALWAYS CARRY A FULL DECK OF YU-GI-OH.

AND I LOVE THE POWER RANGERS AND I AM STRENGTHENING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUNG AMERICA,

THANKS TO COLBERT SUPER-PAC.

YOU KNOW OUR MOTTO.

SAY IT WITH ME-- MAKING A BETTER TOMORROW, TOMORROW.

ALTHOUGH, IF YOU'RE WATCHING THIS TOMORROW ON TIVO, YOU SHOULD REMEMBER TO ADD ONE YESTERDAY.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW RECENTLY, A UNIVERSITY OF

TEXAS STUDENT PAUL BENEFIEL,

WROTE ME ASKING FOR HELP STARTING HIS OWN SUPER-PAC ON HIS CAMPUS.

MR. BENEFIEL EXPLAINED HIS MOTIVATION TO KXAN.

>> HE FORMED HIS OWN SUPER-PAC HE HAS SET ASIDE TEXANS LIKE CONGRESSMAN PERRY AND LAMAR SMITH.

>> THERE'S NO BETTER PLACE TO START SOMETHING LIKE THIS THAN AUSTIN, TEXAS.

>> THIS IS THE FIRST OF STEPHEN COLBERT'S SUPER-PACS TO HIT A COLLEGE CAMPUS.

THE UNIVERSITY OF MISSOURI AND PURDUE AND IT CONTINUES TO SPREAD TO OTHER COLLEGE CAMPUSES NATIONWIDE.

>> Stephen: YES, I HAVE PLANTED A SEED IN AUSTIN, TEXAS.

AND I'M SURE NO ONE WILL TAKE WHAT I'M ABOUT TO SAY OUT OF CONTEXT EYE WANT TO SPREAD MY

SEED AROUND A LOT OF COLLEGES.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

BECAUSE FOLKS, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, WHILE THE AMATEURS OVER HERE THINK THAT THEY'VE

BEEN GOING AFTER THE YOUTH VOTE,

I HAVE BEEN QUIETLY BUILDING A VAST NETWORK OF COLLEGE SUPER-PACS WITH MY COLBERT

SUPER-PAC SUPER FUN PACK.

IT CONTAINS EVERYTHING COLLEGE STUDENTS NEED TO CREATE ACTUAL SUPER-PACS AND BECOME POLITICAL

KING MAKERS-- MILLIONS OF DOLLARS SOLD SEPARATELY.

( LAUGHTER ) NOW, ONLY 1,000 OF THESE BOXES

WERE MADE AND IN LESS THAN ONE WEEK, WE SOLD OUT.

BUT BY TODAY, THEY SHOULD ALL HAVE BEEN DELIVERED TO CAMPUSES AROUND AMERICA.

KIDS, HERE'S HOW YOU RECOGNIZE IT.

IT'S ITS THING IN YOUR MAILBOX THAT'S NOT FROM VAL-PAK, CHASE

SAPPHIRE OR WHOEVER JURY SUMONS IS.

THAT GUY REALLY WANT MEAS TO COME AND HANG OUT WITH HIM.

I TOLD YOU TO STOP WRITING ME,

MR. SUMONS.

CONOT MAKE ME TAKE YOU TO COURT.

SO IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE 1,000 COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO ORDERED A BOX,IMENT YOU TO GET OUT THE

INCLUDE TREASURE MAP RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO REVEAL FOR THE FIRST TIME THE ACTUAL TREASURE THAT THIS MAP LEADS TO.

OKAY?

FOLKS, WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED, BUT ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO HAVE?

THAT'S RIGHT-- IT'S A 100-YEAR-OLD ANTIQUE STERLING SILVER BELL IN THE SHAPE OF A TURTLE.

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

THAT, THAT'S THE SOUND OF FREEDOM.

THIS PRICELESS ANTIQUE WAS MADE IN CHESTER, ENGLAND, IN 1911,

AND WAS LIKELY USED-- USED TO SUMMON SERVANTS ON BRITISH ESTATES LIKE DOWNTON ABBEY.

BUT YOU CAN BRING IT TO SOME POLITICIAN WHOSE LOYALTY YOU'LL BE PURCHASING WITH YOUR

UNLIMITED SUPER-PAC MONEY.

OH, GOVERNOR ROMNEY!

( APPLAUSE ) BRING ME MY TEA, MITT, AND RELAX

E.P.A. REGULATION.

LOOK SHARP, MAN!

NOW, THIS TREASURE IN BOX WILL BE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE IN THE UNITED STATES.

THE FIRST SUPER-PAC RAT TRACK IT DOWN ALSO GETS A VISIT TO THEIR COLLEGE CAMPUS FROM AN EXPERT IN

THE FIELD OF CAMPAIGN FINANCE,

STEPHEN COLBERT.

NOW, FAIR WARN, KIDS-- I HAVE HEARD HE'S ALSO LOOKING TO SPREAD HIS SEED.

AND NOW, TO START THE TREASURE HUNT, I REVEAL THE LAUNCH CLUE.

RED, YELLOW, ORANGE, GREEN,

BLUE, PINK, LIGHT BLUE, BLACK.

AND, YES, THAT LOOKS LIKE THE GAY PRIDE FLAG BECAUSE WE'RE HERE, WE'RE USING UNLIMITED

FUNDS TO INFLUENCE THE ELECTION,

GET USE TO IT.

( LAUGHTER ) ISN'T THAT RIGHT, PARENTS?

( APPLAUSE ) WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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