LFTB Colbology

  • Aired:  04/03/12
  •  | Views: 7,309

Following Stephen's report on LFTB, otherwise known as "pink slime," some in the Twittersphere accuse him of being transphobic. (2:17)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE REPORT." THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!

(CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

WOW, WOW, THANK YOU, PLEASE.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, WITH A GREETING LIKE THAT YOU WOULD MAKE ME DRUNK

WITH POWER IF I WEREN'T ALREADY HIGH ON LIFE.

(LAUGHTER) NATION I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS BUT I NEED TO START THE

SHOW TONIGHT WITH A RARE APOLOGY OR COBBOLOGY.

(LAUGHTER) WE'RE STILL WORKING ON THE NAME.

I'VE NEVER MADE A MISTAKE BEFORE.

(LAUGHTER) YOU SEE, LAST NIGHT I TALKED ABOUT SO-CALLED PINK SLIME, THE

MEAT-LIKE PRODUCT WHOSE REAL NAME IS ACTUALLY LEAN FINELY TEXTURED BEEF OR L.F.T. B.

L.F.T. B. BECAUSE OUR BEEF NOW HAS SO MANY HORMONES IT'S A MEMBER OF THE TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY.

(LAUGHTER) APPARENTLY SOME IN THE TWITTERSPHERE HAVE ACCUSED ME OF BEING TRANSPHOBIC.

SO I JUST WANT TO GET OUT IN FRONT OF THIS AND SAY THAT I,

STEPHEN COLBERT, APOLOGIZE TO ANY OF MY TRANSGENDER BOVINE VIEWERS.

(LAUGHTER) THAT MAY HAVE BEEN OFFENDED.

NO MATTER HOW YOU WERE BORN, NO MATTER HOW YOU IDENTIFY, I WANT TO BE CLEAR THAT I WOULD BE

PROUD TO GRIND YOU UP AND EAT YOU.

(LAUGHTER) AND LET US END THE HATEFUL STEREOTYPE THAT THE COW SAYS MOO!

BULLS SHOULD BE FREE TO SAY MOO,

TOO, WITHOUT JUDGMENT.

LET'S NOT PIGEON HOLE.