Stephen's #CancelColbert Mea Culpa

  • Aired:  03/31/14
  •  | Views: 255,682

Stephen's attempt to bridge a cultural divide leads to the demise of his charity foundation. (2:36)

BUT I'M BACK, AND NATION, I WANTTO APOLOGIZE...

FOR CARING ENOUGH TO TRY ANDBRIDGE A CULTURAL DIVIDE WITH MY

FOUNDATION.

I THOUGHT WE WERE READY.

IF I HAVE A FAULT, IT'S THAT IBELIEVED IN THE AMERICAN PEOPLE

TOO MUCH.

WAS I WRONG TO DO THAT?

(AUDIENCE ANSWERS "NO!

")I WISH I COULD BELIEVE THAT, BUT

THEY HAVE CALLED FOR CANCELINGCOLBERT, AND I'M WILLING TO MEET

THEM HALFWAY.

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY -- AND ICAN'T BELIEVE I'M SAYING THIS --

I AM SHUTTING DOWN THE WORLDWIDEOPERATIONS OF THE CHING CHONG

DING DONG FOUNDATION FORSENSITIVITY TO ORIENTALS OR

WHATEVER.

(LAUGHTER)NO, NO -- I HAVE TO!

I CAN TELL HOW SAD YOU ARE ABOUTIT

(AUDIENCE SAYS, OH! ]THE SADDEST PART IS, BECAUSE OF

ALL THE ATTENTION, WE RAISED ALOT OF MONEY OVER THE WEEKEND.

MONEY THAT WILL NOW BE DONATEDTO DAN SNYDER'S WASHINGTON

REDSKINS ORIGINAL AMERICANSFOUNDATION, WHICH CLEARLY DOES

NOT OFFEND THE INTERNET, 'CUZ IHAVEN'T SEEN SHIT ABOUT THAT.

NOW, TO FIRE THE ENTIREFOUNDATION STAFF.

JA-MES, GET OUT HERE.

JA-MES, EVERYBODY.

I HAVE TERRIBLE NEWS, JA-MES.

>> IT'S JAMES.

(APPLAUSE)(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: JA-MES, I'M GOINGTO HAVE TO LET YOU GO AS CHIEF

OPERATINGOFFICER OF THE FOUNDATION.

CALL SIR PAUL AND MILEY AND TELLTHEM THE CONCERT'S OFF.

THEN CLEAR OUT YOUR DESK.

>> BUT I'M THE ONLY ASIAN PERSONYOU KNOW.

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, JA-MES.

I HAVE NO CHOICE.

BUT I WILL LET YOU RETURN TO THESHOW FOR NO PAY AS PART OF THE

MICHELLE MALKIN MEMORIAL UNPAIDINTERNMENT PROGRAM.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

JA-MES, EVERYBODY!

>> UM...

THANK YOU?

>> Stephen: WELL, THAT ENDSTHAT CONTROVERSY.

I JUST PRAY THAT NO ONE EVERTWEETS ABOUT THE TIME I SAID

ROSA PARKS WAS OVERRATED, HITLERHAD SOME GOOD IDEAS, OR RAN A

CARTOON DURING BLACK HISTORYMONTH SHOWING PRESIDENT OBAMA

TEAMING UP WITH THE KU KLUXKLAN.

'CAUSE, MAN, THAT SOUNDS PRETTYBAD OUT OF CONTEXT.

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE

FOUNDER OF TWITTER, BIZ STONE.

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