Return of the Estate Tax

  • Aired:  12/01/10
  •  | Views: 53,506

Before the estate tax returns, Stephen will hand-deliver a recordable Christmas card and embroidered pillow to his rich great-uncle. (3:47)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

YOU'RE VERY KIND.

( AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN" ).

OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

PLEASE, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

FOLKS, WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

I FEEL LIKE I COULD HEAR YOU

CHANT THAT TWICE A NIGHT.

LET ME BE THE FIRST TO SAY HAPPY

CHH-HANUKKAH.

AND I JUST WANT TO URGE ALL MY

JEWISH VIEWERS, IF YOU ARE

LIGHTING A MENORAH TONIGHT, HAVE

A FIRE EXTINGUISHER HANDY.

( LAUGHTER )

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT

HANUKKAH CAUGHT BIWOTT SURPRISE.

IT IS EARLY THIS YEAR.

IT SEEMS LIKE JUST YESTERDAY WE

WERE CELEBRATING CHH-HALLOWEEN.

BUT DURING THE HOLIDAYS, FAMILY

IS ON EVERYONE'S MIND,

PARTICULARLY IF YOU HAVE AN

ELDERLY AN WEALTHY LOVED ONE

STUBBORNLY CLINGING TO LIFE.

JUDGE ANDREW NAPOLITANO

EXPLAINS.

>> WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES

MIDNIGHT ON NEW YEAR'S EVE, THE

DEATH TAX WILL GO FROM ZERO TO

55%.

>> Stephen: THANKS YOU, FOX

NEWS BADGER.

JIMMY, CAN WE ACTUALLY SEE A

BADGER UP THERE.

( LAUGHTER )

LET'S TRY A HEDGEHOG.

NAH, BADGER, BADGER.

OKAY.

YOU SEE, WHAT THE SWRUJ IS

TALKING ABOUT IS DUE TO EXPIRING

PROVISIONS IN TAX LAW, IF YOUR

MILLIONAIRE RELATIVE DIES BEFORE

MIDNIGHT ON DECEMBER 31st, YOU

PAY NO INHERITANCE TAX, BUT IF

THEY DIE A MINUTE LATER ON NEW

YEAR'S DAY, YOU PAY 55%, YET

ANOTHER INJUSTICE TO THE

OFT-OVERLOOKED MINORITY,

CHILDREN OF THE OBSCENELY

WEALTHY.

LUCKILY THEY HAVE CHAMPIONS IN

CONGRESS LIKE REPUBLICAN

CORN-PACKER STEVE KING.

JIMMY.

>> I AM VERY CONCERNED ABOUT

MIDNIGHT DECEMBER 31st WITH

THE ESTATE TAX.

IF THE TAXES AREN'T ADDRESSED

BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR,

WE'LL HAVE PEOPLE ON THEIR

DEATHBED, FAMILY GATHERED AROUND

THE DEATHBED MAKING LIFE AND

DEATH DECISIONS BASED ON TAX

LIABILITY, AND THIS IS CRUEL,

AND THIS CONGRESS SHOULD ADDRESS

THAT BEFORE THAT SHOULD HAPPEN.

>> YES, WE HAVE TO STOP THE

ESTATE TAX FROM RETURNING AS

SCHEDULED.

IF WE DON'T, WE'RE PUNISHING ALL

THOSE INNOCENT, GOD-FEARING

PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO KILL

NANA FOR THE EXTRA CASH.

IT CERTAINLY MAKES ME WORRY FOR

MY RICH GREAT UNCLE WOODROW.

94 YEARS YOUNG BUT A VERY WEAK

HEART.

YOU NOW WHAT, I'M GOING TO SEND

WOODROW A CHRISTMAS CARD RIGHT

NOW TO TELL HIM THAT I LOVE HIM.

OKAY.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE RECORDABLE

ONES.

>> RECORD YOUR MESSAGE AFTER THE

BEEP.

[BEEP]

>> Stephen: BOOOO!

I LOVE YOU, UNCLE WOODROW.

I HOP YOU GOT THOSE ROLLERBLADES

I SENT YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

GAAAAA!

>> RECORDING:

>> I LOVE YOU, UNCLE WOODROW.

I HOPE YOU GOT THOSE

ROLLERBLADES I SENT YOU.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

GAAAA!

( LAUGHTER )

YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL HAND DELIVER

THIS, ALONG WITH THIS PILLOW I

HADMENT -- HAD EMBROIDERED.

IT SAYS "GOOD NIGHT."

OF COURSE, THE PRINT IS VERY

SMALL, SO I MAY HAVE TO HOLD THE

PILLOW VERY CLOSE TO HIS FACE

FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR HIM

TO READ IT.

SEE YOU TONIGHT, WOODY,

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