"Morning Joe" vs. The Colbert Report

  • Aired:  04/03/13
  •  | Views: 166,991

Joe Scarborough airs a pure infomercial for his buddy and congressional candidate Mark Sanford, which inspires Stephen to endorse Mark's opponent, Elizabeth Colbert Busch. (6:47)

[EAGLE CAW]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN!"]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO THE REPORT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

FOLKS, YOU ASK ANY POLITICAL REPORTER OUT THERE THERE'S NO BIGGER NIGHT IN POLITICS THEN

THE DAY AFTER THE RUNOFF ELECTION IN A SPECIAL ELECTION FOR SOUTH CAROLINA'S 1st DISTRICT, AND

"THE COLBERT REPORT" CAN NOW PROJECT THAT SOME OTHER NETWORK WILL TELL US THE WINNER.

JIM?

[LAUGHTER]

>> THIS IS A FOX NEWS ALERT.

WELL, HE'S BACK.

AFTER A SEX SCANDAL DERAILED HIS POLITICAL CAREER FOUR YEARS AGO, TONIGHT, SOUTH CAROLINA GOVERNOR

MARK SANFORD WINNING THE GOP NOMINATION FOR A U.S. HOUSE SEAT.

>> Stephen: YES, FORMER SOUTH CAROLINA GOVERNOR AND APPALACHIAN HIKER WITH EXTREMELY

POOR SENSE OF DIRECTION, MARK SANFORD, HAS SECURED THE REPUBLICAN NOMINATION.

[LAUGHTER]

WHAT A STUNNING COMEBACK.

AFTER BEING UNFAITHFUL TO HIS WIFE AND BETRAYING THE PUBLIC TRUST, HE GETS A SECOND CHANCE

IN POLITICS -- ONLY IN AMERICA.

AND ITALY.

[LAUGHTER]

BUNGA! BUNGA, MARK.

BUNGA! BUNGA!

[LAUGHTER]

AND IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS OFF-YEAR ELECTION THE POLITICAL STORY OF THE

MILLENIUM, JUST LISTEN TO WHO HIS OPPONENT IS.

>> HE'LL FACE ELIZABETH COLBERT BUSH.

>> SHE IS THE SISTER OF TV PERSONALITY STEPHEN COLBERT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: YES, MY SISTER IS RUNNING FOR CONGRESS AGAINST MARK SANFORD.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WOO!

WOO!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I HOPE SHE PUTS ME ON THE POSTER COMMITTEE.

I'VE GOT SOME POSTERBOARD, MARKERS -- [SNIFFS]

THAT'S THE STUFF -- GLUE AND GLUE RIGHT ON THERE.

A LITTLE BIT OF GLITTER RIGHT THERE.

GOT THAT RIGHT THERE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND THERE YOU GO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ORIGINALLY, I WASN'T GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS RACE ON MY NIGHTLY BROADCAST.

I GOTTA WATCH WHERE I AIM THIS THING.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT THEN I WATCHED TODAY'S COFFEE JOE MORNING AND THE FUNKY BUNCH.

[LAUGHTER]

JIM?

>> WE WILL SPEAK WITH MARK SANFORD COMING UP IN A FEW MINUTES AND BE SENDING AN

INVITATION OUT TO ELIZABETH COLBERT BUSH.

>> SHE HAS HER OWN SHOW.

>> IT'S GOING TO BE "MORNING JOE" VERSUS "COLBERT REPORT."

[AUDIENCE REACTS]

>> Stephen: OH, IT IS ON.

[LAUGHTER]

"MORNING JOE" VERSUS "THE COLBERT REPORT." DID I WANT THIS FIGHT?

NO, BUT THIS MORNING--

>> THEY DREW FIRST BLOOD, NOT ME.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, IN SOME WAYS, IT'S ALWAYS BEEN "MORNING JOE" VERSUS "THE COLBERT

REPORT." THOUGH, TECHNICALLY AT THAT TIME OF THE MORNING, MY NETWORK RUNS A P-80X COMMERCIAL.

>> P-90 X USES THE ADVANCED SCIENCE OF MUSCLE CONFUSION.

>> Stephen: YES, IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MUSCLE CONFUSION.

[LAUGHTER]

WHEREAS JOE'S SHOW IS JUST ABOUT CONFUSION IN THAT SOMETIMES PEOPLE CONFUSE IT WITH NEWS.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT NOT THIS MORNING, 'CUZ THIS MORNING WAS JUST PURE INFOMERCIAL FOR HIS OLD BUDDY,

MARK SANFORD.

>> I'VE BEEN A GOOD FRIEND OF MARK'S FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

I KNOW MARK -- BRIGHT, BRIGHT GUY AND HE WORKED ON WALL STREET AND KNOWS THE ISSUES BETTER THAN ANYBODY.

COURSES, COURSES SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN THE FUTURE ON THE WAY MARK SANFORD RAN HIS CAMPAIGN.

SOME PEOPLE HAVE GOT IT.

YOU CAN SEE WHY A GUY LIKE THAT GETS ELECTED.

LET'S PRETEND MARK IS NOT HERE AND TALK ABOUT HIM.

>> WHAT I HEARD WAS THAT HE WORKED REALLY HARD, HE WAS GOOD TO HIS EMPLOYEES.

>> MARK, IF WE CAN LET'S TALK ABOUT THE VALUE OF HONESTY IN POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS.

I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE, NO MATTER WHERE THEY ARE IN THE IDEOLOGICAL SPECTRUM WERE STRUCK

BY YOUR HONESTY A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN BASICALLY YOU SAID, YOU KNOW, YOU WENT WALKING ON THE

APPALACHIAN TRAIL, BUT YOU FELL IN LOVE, SO YOU'RE OUT OF PUBLIC OFFICE.

SO WHEN YOU MAKE THE DECISION TO RE-ENTER THE FRAY, WAS THERE ANY FEAR OF THAT HONESTY COMING BACK

AND PLAYING A PERILOUS ROLE IN YOUR POLITICAL FUTURE?

>> Stephen: OH, THAT IS IN IN-DEPTH REPORTING.

YOU KNOW, WOODWARD AND BERNSTEIN MAY HAVE HAD DEEP THROAT, BUT MIKE BARNACLE IS DOING SOMETHING

SIMILAR TO MARK SANFORD.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I HOPE MIKE CAN BREATHE THROUGH HIS NOSE 'CUZ HE'S RIGHT.

HE'S RIGHT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

WHEN SANFORD FINALLY RESURFACED, THE FIRST THING THAT EVERYONE THOUGHT WAS "MAN, THAT GUY IS

BEING SO HONEST ABOUT HOW MUCH HE LIED."

[LAUGHTER]

AND I'M SURE HE WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS HONEST IF NO ONE HAD CAUGHT HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, IT'S MY TURN, JOJO.

I'M GOING TO SHOCK SOME PEOPLE RIGHT NOW AND ENDORSE MY SISTER, ELIZABETH COLBERT BUSCH FOR CONGRESS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES, YES, YES, SHE'S A DEMOCRAT.

BUT SHE'S A BUSINESS WOMAN, A JOB.

CREATOR, WHO WHEN RAISING THREE CHILDREN ON $14,000 A YEAR, WENT BACK TO SCHOOL, BUILT A 20-YEAR

CAREER IN INTERNATIONAL TRADE, AND IS NOW LEADING MARK SANFORD IN TWO CONSECUTIVE POLLS.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS, NATION?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH!

YEAH!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

AND I'LL TELL YOU, MARK SANFORD SHOULD THANK YOU YOU JOE

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