Tip/Wag - FDA, Toy Manufacturers & Logo Party

  • Aired:  01/06/14
  •  | Views: 28,965

The FDA cracks down on antibiotics in food animals, and the iPotty allows babies to peruse an iPad while toilet training. (5:56)

>> NATION, HERE AT THEREPORT THERE ARE NO WRONG

ANSWERS BECAUSE I'M THE ONLYONE WHO TALKS.

THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAGOF THE FINGER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)(APPLAUSE)

FIRST UP ON THE,-- WORKINGON IT, IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY

DAY THE GOVERNMENT PASSESYET ANOTHER NEW

FREEDOM-KILLING REGULATION.

FIRST THEY TELL ME I HAVE TOWEAR A SEAT BELT.

THEN THEY TELL ME MY CHILDHAS TO RIDE IN THE CAR SEAT.

WHAT'S NEXT.

THE CAR SEAT HAS TO BEINSIDE THE CAR?

HE LOVES TO SEE THE WIND ONTHE FONTANELLE.

WELL, NOW GOVERNMENTREGULATORS ARE AT IT AGAIN.

>> THE FOOD AND DRUGADMINISTRATION REVEALS A NEW

PLAN TODAY TO CUT DOWN THEUSE ON ANTIBIOTICS IN FOOD

ANIMALS.

THE FDA CALLS OVERUSE OFANTI-BIOTICS A THREAT TO

PUBLIC HEALTH.

>> Stephen: THESE FDA-HOLESARE COMING AFTER-- THEY'RE

COMING AFTER A FOOD ANIMALSAS IF THERE'S ANY OTHER

KIND.

SO I'M GIVING A WAG OF MYFINGER TO THE FDA.

FIRST OF ALL ANTI-BIOTICSARE THE ONLY NUTRITION LEFT

IN OUR MEATS.

THAT AND THE BLUE DYE IN THEUSDA SAMPLE.

MY DOCTOR SAYS I'M TO THEGETTING ENOUGH SAP.

AND OUR LIVESTOCKS NEEDTHESE ANTI-BIOTICS TO GAIN

AS MUCH AS 3% MORE WEIGHT.

THAT'S HOW IT WORKS, FOLKS,YOU WANT TO GAIN WEIGHT

QUICKLY TAKE ANTI-BIOTICS.

YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHTQUICKLY YOU EAT UNREGULATED

BEEF.

HOW ELSE CAN YOU GET ANIMALSTO GAIN WEIGHT.

CHICKENS WON'T DRINK MUSCLEMILK.

I GOT THEM A STRAW ANDEVERYTHING.

NOTHING.

(LAUGHTER)NEXT UP, FOLKS I BELIEVE

CHILDREN ARE THE FUTURE.

EVEN THOUGH I'M PRETTY SUREMOST OF MY CHILDHOOD WAS IN

THE PAST.

I GOT SCREWED ON THAT ONE.

THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING A TIPOF THE HAT TO TOY

MANUFACTURERS FOR BRINGINGTHE TOYS OF TOMORROW TO THE

FUTURE PEOPLES OF TODAY.

>> FISHER-PRICE HAS RELEASEDTHE NEWBORN TODDLER APP

DIFFICULTITY SEAT.

A BABY BOUNCEY SEAT THATFEATURES A PLASTIC CASE

DESIGNED TO HOLD AN iPAD.

>> Stephen: OH, FOLKS, IWISH WE HAD THE APP-TIVITY

BABY SEAT WHEN I HAD MYFIRST CHILD.

I HAD TO SETTLE FROMPLOPPING HER IN FRONT OF THE

MICROWAVE.

MY DAUGHTER'S FAVORITE SHOWWAS SWANSON SALISBURY STEAK

FOR 10 MINUTES ON DEFROST.

IT HAS A SURPRISE ENDING.

ABOUT AN HOUR LATER.

NOW SOME PEOPLE ARE AFRAIDTHAT PUTTING AN iPAD IN

FRONT OF AN INFANT MIGHT BEHARMFUL IN SOME WAY.

BUT DON'T WORRY YOU CAN LOCKYOUR iPAD INTO THE CASE

PROTECTING YOUR DEVICE FROMBABY'S STICKY FINGERS.

SEE, NOTHING IS GOING TOHURT YOUR PRECIOUS DARLING.

AND THAT'S NOT THE ONLY WAYTO DOCK BOTH YOUR iPAD AND

YOUR CHILD.

>> AS A MOM, I KNOW HOWDIFFICULT POTTY TRAINING IT

BE.

IT CAN BE A LITTLE EASIERNOW WITH THE BRAND-NEW

I-POTTY THIS POTTY TRAININGSEAT FEATURES A SPECIAL

STAND TO SECURELY HOLD THEiPAD WHICH KIDS ALREADY

LOVE.

SO THEY CAN PLAY WITH APPS,READ BOOKS OR WATCH VIDEOS.

ALL WHILE POTTY TRAINING.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: I-- I WANT ONE.

I HAD NO IDEA YOU COULD USEAN iPAD ON THE TOILET.

I GENERALLY NEED ALL FOURLIMBS FOR STABILITY.

AGAIN, SALISBURY STEAK.

AND WHAT A GREAT TOOL FORTRAINING THE KIDS.

THEY'LL FOREVER ASSOCIATETHE iPAD WITH POOPING.

JUST AVOID BRINGING THEMINTO AN APPLE STORE.

FINALLY, FOLKS, THERE IS NOGREATER FAMILY TRADITION

THAN GATHERING TOGETHER ANDPLAYING BOARD GAMES.

REMEMBER THE FAMILY THATPLAYS TOGETHER, STAYS

TOGETHER BECAUSE A SINGLEGAME OF RISK CAN LAST

DECADES.

IT WILL BE A COLD DAY INHELL BEFORE MY SISTER-IN-LAW

SHARON GETS HER GRUBBY PAWSON IRKUTSK, THE GATEWAY TO

CAME CHAT SKA.

-- KAMCHATKA.

BUT FOLKS THESE FUN GAMESAREN'T ALL FUN AND GAMES.

THEY'RE ALSO EDUCATIONAL.

THINK OF ALL THE SPANISHLEARNED -- WORDS I LEARNED

FROM PLAYING UNO.

(APPLAUSE)>> HOW MANY?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I LEARNED ONEO.

(LAUGHTER)BUT FINALLY, THERE IS A GAME

TO TEACH OUR KIDS WHAT THEYREALLY NEED TO KNOW.

>> IT'S THE NEW GAME OFGUESSING LOGOS WHEN YOU DRAW

T DESCRIBE IT, DO IT ORREVEAL IT PICK AN ACTION,

SET THE TIMER AND GO.

>> OH.

>> NOW WHAT.

>> REALLY, DO IT, DESCRIBEIT OR REVEAL IT.

LOGO AND ALL NEW LOGO PARTY.

THE BRANDS YOU KNOW, THEGAMES YOU LOVE.

>> Stephen: IT'S JUST LIKECHAR ADDS OTHER THAN ACTING

OUT MOVIES AND TV SHOWSYOU'RE PAYING MONEY TO MEM

ORIZE CORPORATE MARKETING.

THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING A BIGTIP OF THE HAT TO LOGO

PARTY.

JUST DO IT, IT'S GREAT.

MAYBE IT'S MAYBELLINE.

FOLKS IT IS HUGE.

>> FOLKS, IT USED TO BE SOHARD TO FIND ADVERTISEMENTS.

YOU HAD TO SIT THROUGHBORING TELEVISION SHOWS OR

LOAD AN INTERNET VIDEO OR BESOMEWHERE IN AMERICA.

WITH LOGO PARTY IMAGINE THEFUN YOU'LL HAVE GUESSING IF

THAT'S THE G LOGO FROM GUCHIOR C LOGO FROM CHANNEL AND

THEN FEELING BAD ABOUTYOURSELF THAT YOU CAN'T

AFFORD EITHER ONE.

THE GAME ENDS WHEN ONE PLAYERR DRAWS THE CORD FOR THE

LOGO PARTY LOGO FORCINGEVERYONE TO ACT OUT ALL THE

BRANDS IN LOGO PARTYSIMULTANEOUSLY CREATING A

CORPORATE SYNERGY BLACK HOLETHAT SUCKS IN YOUR ENTIRE

FAMILY UNTIL SOMEBODYREALIZES THE BLACK HOLE

LOOKS JUST LIKE THE LOGO FOROAKLEY SUNGLASSES.

YOU WIN.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTERTHESE LOGOS.

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