Multiracial Spider-Man

  • Aired:  08/03/11
  •  | Views: 48,309

A half-black, half-Hispanic Spider-Man replaces a dead Peter Parker, setting a terrible precedent for superhero diversity. (2:33)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION, PLEASE, WE HAVE TO...

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

VERY KIND.

AND IN RETURN, LET ME SAY,

DOS VIDANA.

NATION, AS EVERYONE KNOWS, I AM

THE WORLD'S BIGGEST FAN OF

SPIDER-MAN.

WHAT'S THAT, NERDS?

YOU'RE A BIGGER FAN THAN I AM?

REALLY?

WELL THEN HERE'S A SPIDEY TRIVIA

QUESTION.

WHICH ISSUE HAD YOU ON THE

COVER?

I AM ON AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

NUMBER 573 SAVING THE WEBBED

CRUSADER.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

PRETTY COOL.

WELL, I'M AFRAID I CANNOT SAVE

HIM THIS TIME BECAUSE OF THE

LATEST ISSUE OF MARVEL COMICS

ULTIMATE FALLOUT, PETER PARKER

IS KILLED, PRESUMABLY WHILE

APPEARING IN SPIDER-MAN: TURN

OFF THE DARK.

[LAUGHTER]

WORST, NOW THAT PETER PARKER IS

DEAD, THERE IS A NEW REPLACEMENT

SPIDER-MAN.

>> BILLING, BIG SHAKE-UP IN THE

SUPERHERO WORLD.

>> FORGET ABOUT PETER PARKER,

THE NEW SPIDER-MAN IS SWINGING

THROUGH THE PAGES OF MARVEL

COMICS, AND HIS NAME IS MILES

MORALES.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> A TEENAGER WHO IS HALF BLACK,

HALF HISPANIC.

>> Stephen: HALF BLACK, HALF

HISPANIC?

WHAT SORT OF ORIGIN STORY DOES

HE HAVE?

WAS HE A BLACK GUY BITTEN BY A

RADIOACTIVE HISPANIC OR A

HISPANIC GUY BITTEN BY A

RADIOACTIVE BLACK GUY.

IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.

PLUS HALF HISPANIC, ? HE'S

COMING HERE TO STEAL OUR

SUPERHERO JOB.

IT'S BAD ENOUGH WE HAVE AN

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CLAIMING TO

REPRESENT THE AMERICAN WAY.

GO BACK THE CAL RIPKEN ON THE,

KAL-EL.

WHAT'S NEXT?

A CHINESE HULK?

DON'T MARK -- MAKE ME ASIAN.

YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M

ASIAN.

NEXT THING YOU KNOW THEY'LL GIVE

US A GAY BATMAN.

OKAY, A GAYER BATMAN.

[APPLAUSE]

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