Eric Bolling's Secret Gas Prices Plan

  • Aired:  03/08/12
  •  | Views: 25,420

Fox News contributor Eric Bolling has a secret plan to lower gas prices by a dollar -- if only President Obama would call him. (5:49)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE SHOW,

EVERYBODY.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> THAT'S TOO MUCH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THANK YOU FOR JOINING US,

EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU, LIKE ALL AMERICANS, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE RISING

PRICE OF GAS.

LAST WEEKEND I HAD TO CANCEL MY ANNUAL LAWN FIRE WHERE I WRITE OUT MY SPRINGTIME

RESOLUTIONS IN GASOLINE ON MY LAWN.

TOO BAD THIS AREA'S RESOLUTION WAS GOING TO BE TO CONSERVE MORE GAS.

(LAUGHTER) WELL, WHENEVER I NEED ADVICE ON THE OIL MARKET I TURN TO FOX NEWS, HOME OF

CONSERVATIVE RISING STAR AND FOX NEWS CONTRIBUTOR ERIC BOLLING.

HE'S THE LEAD FOX NEWS 5:00 NEWS CALLED FIVE, WHICH IS LIKE THE VIEW FOR PEOPLE WHO

BELIEVE THE VIEW'S PANELISTS ARE TOO WELL INFORMED.

NOW THE LAST FEW DAY, FOLK,

BOLLING HAS BEEN PUSHING A SOLUTION TO THE GAS CRISIS ALL OVER FOX NEWS.

BUT HE WON'T TELL US WHAT IT IS.

>> AS A GUY WHO TRADED OIL & GAS FOR YEARS, I'VE GOT SOME IDEAS FOR THE PRESIDENT.

>> THERE'S ONE, THERE IS A SECRET THAT I'VE ONLY OFFERED TO THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION.

WHICH WOULD BE.

>> CAN'T TELL YOU.

>> I PUT IT IN AN ENVELOPE AND I SAID THIS WILL BRING GASOLINE DOWN A DOLLAR.

HERE'S THE ANSWER.

THIS WILL GET GASOLINE PRICES DOWN, I GUARANTEE IT,

GASOLINE PRICES COME DOWN BY A DOLLAR WITH THIS.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

A SECRET PLAN IN A MANILA ENVELOPE TO LOWER THE PRICE OF A GALLON OF GAS BY $1.

I MEANS WHAT'S HE GOT IN THERE.

COULD IT BE A DOLLAR?

COME ON, BOLLING, I HAVE TO KNOW WAS'S IN THERE.

IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME WAY TO CONTACT BOLLING DIRECTLY AND FIND OUT.

>> HERE IT, IS, PRESIDENT OBAMA, LAST WEEK, I OFFERED YOU, MAKE THE PHONE CALL.

REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME, SIR,

HERE IT IS, THERE IS MY PHONE NUMBER WHERE IS T THERE IT IS.

>> IS THAT YOUR REAL NUMBER.

>> ONLY PRESIDENT OBAMA CALL NOW.

I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO CALL.

>> I HOPE HE CALLS.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

>> Stephen: WHAT A BRILLIANT PLAN TO GET A PHONE CALL FROM THE PRESIDENT.

YOU KNOW O I WANT OBAMA TO CALL ME TOO.

LOOK, SIR, PRESIDENT OBAMA,

I'VE GOT A PLAN TOW ELIMINATE THE DEBT.

AND I'VE GOT A PLAN TO INVADE AND DEFEAT IRAN IN THREE DAYS.

AND I'VE GOT-- I'VE GOT-- THESE ARE THE RESULTS OF SOME BLOOD TESTS.

AND THIS IS SOME POETRY FROM COLLEGE.

AND THIS, THIS, THIS IS MY PLAN TO ORGANIZE MY MANILA ENVELOPES.

SO CALL ME, MR. PRESIDENT.

AND ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT BOLLING'S PLAN IS.

BUT HE SAID ONLY THE PRESIDENT COULD CALL.

NOW OF COURSE HE DIDN'T SPECIFY PRESIDENT OF WHAT.

I HAPPEN TO BE PRESIDENT OF A SUPER PAC AS WELL AS-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

AND I AM ALSO THE PRESIDENT IN EXILE OF THE JUSTIN BEIBER BELIEVE FAN CLUB.

I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE,

SHELLY, YOU BACKSTABBING SEA VIPER.

YOU KNOW, SCREW IT,

BOLLING'S PLAN SOUNDS TOO IMPORTANT.

I AM CALLING.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS FUN.

>> YOUR CALL IS BEING ANSWERED BY OUGHT DIX.

>> GAS LINE.

>> IS NOT AVAILABLE TO LEAVE A MESSAGE WAIT FOR THE TONE.

OTHERWISE FOR ASSISTANCE PRESS ZERO NOW.

RECORD AT THE TONE.

>> HELLO, ERIC BOLLING, ITS BARACK OBAMA CALLING.

I'M JUST HERE IN THE OVAL OFFICE STROKING MY PET WHITE PERSON.

THINKING OF WAYS TO DESTROY AMERICA WITH CONTRACEPTION.

WHAT IF WE PUT THE LADY LIBERTY ON THE PILL.

YES, YES, OH, ERIC BOLLING,

IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE THINGS THAT I WAS PLANNING TO DO WITH THE OIL MARKET.

LISTEN, ERIC, I REALLY WANT THESE PLANS YOU HAVE.

I WANT YOU TO-- I WANT YOU TO STITCH THEM ON TO AMERICAN FLAG AND THEN BURN IT.

AND THEN I WILL INHALE THE VAPORS AND KNOW WHAT YOUR PLAN IS.

>> SERIOUSLY, CALL ME.

ALL RIGHT, BYE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) IT IS BARACK OBAMA SO I HAD TO SAY SOMETHING MEAN.

WELL, ERIC BOLLING, IF YOU STILL WANT THE PRESIDENT'S ATTENTION I HAPPEN TO HAVE

HIS DIRECT PHONE NUMBER, IN THIS MANILA ENVELOPE.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET IT IS REACH OUT AND TOUCH ME,

OKAY.

JUST CALL ME AT THIS NUMBER,

ERIC.

REMEMBER, ONLY ERIC BOLLING SHOULD USE THIS NUMBER.

IT'S MY DIRECT LINE AND I PICK IT UP EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS.

OF COURSE THERE IS A SILLY LITTLE GAME I PLAY WHERE I PRETEND IT'S NOT MY NUMBER

BUT DON'T GIVE UP.

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