Mitt Romney's Florida Victory

  • Aired:  02/01/12
  •  | Views: 41,347

Mitt Romney stomps Newt Gingrich in Florida with help from his negative ad campaign, and Newt Gingrich fights back with a robocall. (6:40)

LEWIS BLACK.

STAY STRONG, MY BROTHER.

THERE YOU GO.

YOU'RE WELCOME, BLACK PEOPLE.

NOW, NATION, TONIGHT, WITH

ROUGHLY 100% OF PRECINCTS

REPORTING, THE "COLBERT REPORT"

IS PREPARED TO PROJECT THAT MITT

ROMNEY WILL WIN THE FLORIDA

PRIMARY 24 HOURS AGO.

( LAUGHTER )

YOU CAN BANK ON THAT.

WE'VE GOT THE BEST ELECTION TEAM

WATCHING TIVO.

( LAUGHTER )

FOLKS, MITT DIDN'T JUST BEAT

NEWT GINGRICH.

HE STOMPED HIM BY A DEVASTATING

14% MARGIN, 14%.

THAT IS HIGHER THAN MITT'S TAX

RATE.

( LAUGHTER ).

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )

YEAH.

ROMNEY KICKED NEWT TO THE CURB

LIKE A PLANT MANAGER WHOSE JOB

HE JUST MOVED TO ANOTHER

COUNTRY.

( LAUGHTER )

AND THE QUESTION IS HOW DID MITT

DO IT?

BY LAYING OUT HIS POSITIVE

VISION OF A NEGATIVE VISION OF

NEWT GINGRICH.

JIM?

>> WE HAVE A NEW STUDY THAT'S

OUT AND IT SAYS THAT THIS IS THE

MOST NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN IN

HISTORY.

>> WE KNOW THAT IT WAS THE MOST

NEGATIVE ADS EVER IN THE HISTORY

OF FOREVER.

>> THIS IS UNQUESTIONABLY,

CHRIS, THE NASTIEST, DOWN DIRTY,

GUT-FIGHTING, ALLEY-FIGHTING

CAMPAIGN.

>> WHY ISN'T MITT ROMNEY HAPPY?

BECAUSE HE'S RUN A COMPLETELY

DIRTBALL CAMPAIGN THAT NOBODY ON

EARTH WOULD BE PROUD OF.

>> Stephen: WOW.

( LAUGHTER )

THAT IS SOME HARSH, SPITEFUL,

BASELESS CHARACTER

ASSASSINATION.

CHRIS MATTHEWS SHOULD THINK

ABOUT WORKING FOR ROMNEY.

( LAUGHTER )

BECAUSE, FOLKS, ROMNEY'S ADS

WERE CRUEL AND THEY WERE

PERSONAL.

>> GINGRICH EXAGGERATES,

DROPPING REAGAN'S NAME 50 TIMES.

BUT IN HIS DIARIES, REAGAN

MENTIONED GINGRICH ONLY ONCE.

( LAUGHTER ).

>> Stephen: EVEN WORSE, HE

WAS UNDERNEATH THIS DOODLE.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

REAGAN USED THAT LITTLE BUBBLE

LETTERING.

PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT.

FOLKS, NEWT FOUGHT BACK WITH A

ROBO CALL OFFERING THIS SUBTLE

CRITIQUE OF MITT'S RECORD.

>> AS GOVERNOR OF MASSACHUSETTS,

MITT ROMNEY REFUSED TO PAY FOR

KOSHER FOOD FOR OUR SENIORS IN

NURSING HOMES.

HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS WHO FOR THE

FIRST TIME WERE FORCED TO EAT

NON-COIVER BECAUSE ROMNEY

THOUGHT $5 WAS TOO MUCH TO PAY

FOR OUR GRANDPARENTS TO EAT

KOSHER.

>> Stephen: TOUGH STUFF.

THE WORST THING ABOUT THAT AD?

THE THOUSANDS OF JEWISH

GRANDMOTHERS WHO WERE CRUSHED

WHEN THAT NICE ROBOT STOPPED

CALLING.

"I LOVE YOU,NANA.

I LOVE YOU,NANA.

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY

MONEY."

( LAUGHTER )

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM.

NOW, NEWT MIGHT HAVE HAD THE

WIND KNOCKED OUT OF HIM IN

FLORIDA, BUT LUCKILY HE IS

SELF-INFLATING.

>> TO THE SAME PEOPLE WHO SAID I

WAS DEAD IN JUNE AND JULY AND

SAID I WAS GONE AFTER IOWA, WHO

SEEMED TOTALLY QUIET THE NIGHT

OF THE SOUTH CAROLINA VICTORY,

AND NOW GOING TO BE BACK SAYING,

"WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?

WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?

WHAT'S HE GOING TO DO?"

I JUST WANT TO REASSURE THEM

TONIGHT.

WE ARE GOING TO CONTEST EVERY

PLACE, AND WE WILL WIN AND WE

WILL BE IN TAMPA AS THE NOMINEE

IN AUGUST.

>> Stephen: YES!

HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

HE IS USING ALL THE

STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS HE DID NOT

WASTE ON HIS MARRIAGES.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )

TO DRIVE HOME HIS COMMITMENT,

NEWT'S CAMPAIGN PRINTED OUT

THESE 46 STATES TO GO POSTERS.

OF COURSE, SINCE NEWT'S NOT EVEN

ON THE BALLOT IN VIRGINIA AND

MISSOURI, THOSE 46 STATES MAY

ACTUALLY REFER TO THE MANY

STATES OF HIS CAMPAIGN INCLUDING

DENIAL, ANGER, ACOUSTIC, CUBIST,

DEPRESSION, EMO, BARGAINING,

TREKKIE, AND FINALLY,

ACCEPTANCE.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

SO SETTLE IN, EVERYBODY, SETTLE

IN.

BECAUSE THIS THING WILL NOT BE

OVER.

UNTIL NEWT IS NO LONGER MAD AT

MITT.

I'M GOING TO SAY AROUND STARGATE

8130.3.

I THINK WE HAVE A PREVIEW OF HIS

CONCESSION SPEECH.

>> FROM HELL, I STAB AT THEE.

>> Stephen: HE LOOKED GOOD.

HE LOOKED GOOD.

I THINK HE'S LOST WEIGHT.

OF COURSE, SOME OUT THERE ARE

SAYING THIS IS GOING TO HURT THE

REPUBLICAN PARTY.

I JUST SAID IT NOW.

( LAUGHTER )

BUT MITT KNOWS ALL THIS

NEGATIVITY IS ACTUALLY A

POSITIVITY.

JIM.

>> AS THIS PRIMARY UNFOLDS OUR

OPPONENTS IN THE OTHER PARTY

HAVE BEEN WATCHING.

AND THEY LIKE TO COMFORT

THEMSELVES WITH THE THOUGHT THAT

A COMPETITIVE CAMPAIGN WILL

LEAVE US DIVIDED AND WEAK.

BUT I'VE GOT NEWS FOR THEM.

A COMPETITIVE PRIMARY DOES NOT

DIVIDE US.

IT PREPARES US.

>> Stephen: YES.

BY HAMMERING EACH OTHER DURING

THE PRIMARY, THEY'RE GETTING

PREPARED.

IT'S THE SAME WAY A SPARRING

PARTNER AGAINST THE CHAMP READY

FOR THE BIG FIGHT BY STABBING

HIM IN THE NECK WITH GARDENING

SHEERS.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

AND AS A CONSERVATIVE MYSELF, I,

OF COURSE, I, OF COURSE, WANT

THE EVENTUAL NOMINEE TO BE AS

PREPARED AS POSSIBLE.

SO THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO DO SO,

TONIGHT, I AM CREATING A NEW

TWITTER HASHTAG, PREPARE THEM,

TO POST VICIOUS, PERSONAL

ATTACKS AGAINST BOTH OF THESE

GOOD MEN.

HERE WE GO.

HERE WE GO

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

OKAY.

HERE WE GO.

LET'S SEE, UH... LET'S SEE, HERE

WE GO FEBRUARY-- GO FOR NEWT.

NEWT'S ONLY HOPE FOR YOUR VOTE

IS IF YOU'VE BEEN IN A COMA FOR

20 YEARS.

AND IF YOU HAVE, HE PROBABLY

DIVORCED YOU.

( LAUGHTER )

NEWT 2012, AND SEND.

OKAY.

ONE FOR MITT.

OKAY, MITT ROMNEY IS NOT A

VULTURE CAPITALIST.

VULTURES ONLY EAT THINGS THAT

ARE DEAD.

ROMNEY 2012, AND SEND.

SO DO THE RIGHT THING, NATION,

AND REALLY TEAR THESE GUYS A NEW

ONE TO, YOU KNOW, HELP.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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