People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive 2011

  • Aired:  11/17/11
  •  | Views: 41,525

The old, glossy, multicolored lady has done the unthinkable by crowning Bradley Cooper the Sexiest Man Alive. (3:42)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING

US, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

( CHEERS )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIES AND

GENTLEMEN.

PLEASE, ENOUGH.

HERE ORGANIZATION HEROES, ALL.

NATION, YOU KNOW IF YOU WATCH

THIS SHOW THAT I HAVE ALWAYS

RESPECTED "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE.

( LAUGHTER )

AS A RELIABLE NEWS SOURCE.

NEVER FORGET-- THEY WERE THE

ONLY ONES TO BREAK THE STORY OF

RICHARD GERE'S SIN MOP--

CINNAMON ROLLS.

BUT NOW THE OLD GLOSSY,

MULTICOLORED LADY HAS DONE THE

UNTHINKABLE.

IN THEIR ANNUAL SEXIEST MAN

ALIVE ISSUE, THEY HAVE BESTOWED

THE CROWN ON BRADLEY COOPER.

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I'M ANGRY, TOO.

( LAUGHTER )

SEXY?

PLEASE!

IS THAT A MAN A HORSE

TAKE A DUMP AT A WIG FACTORY?

( APPLAUSE )

I DON'T GET IT, PEOPLE?

WHY!

WHY DID YOU PICK HIM?

JUST BECAUSE HE CAN SPEAK

FRENCH?

( SPEAKING FRENCH )

OH, BIG DEAL!

ANYBODY CAN DO THAT.

OUI, OUI.

IT'S EASY.

JUST LISTEN TO THIS INTERVIEW

ANSWER RIGHT IN HERE ON THE

LITTLE INTERVIEW PAGE.

WHEN THEY ASK HIM, WHAT MAKES

YOU LAUGH?"

HE SAYS, "OBSERVING LIFE.

LIFE IS VERY COMICAL.

PEOPLE TRIPPING AND FALLING."

SOUNDS LIKE A NICE GUY.

COME TRIP, BRADLEY COOPER

TRIPPEDNANA AND SHE SHEATERRED

HER PELVIS AND HE'S LAUGHING AT

HER, ISN'T SHE SEXY.

FOR THE RECORD, IN CASE YOU'RE

WONDERING, I AM NOT MAD AT

"PEOPLE" MAGAZINE BECAUSE THEY

DID NOT INCLUDE ME IN THIS

YEAR'S ISSUE ALTHOUGH THEY DID

INCLUDE ME IN THE 100 MEN

SEXIEST VIDEO ONLINE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

YEAH!

YEAH, PEOPLE.

I GUESS I'M GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE

WEB BUT NOT FOR PRINT.

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE USED A

PICTURE OF ME WHEN I WAS WEARING

THAT LEATHURE REPLICA OF MY

FACE.

( LAUGHTER )

FOLKES, I'M NOT MAD ABOUT THIS.

I'M MAD AT "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE

BECAUSE THEY USED TO HAVE

STANDARDS.

LIKE IN 2005, WHEN THEY NAMED

MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY THE

SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.

HE IS NOWHERE, NOT ON ONE PAGE

OF THIS ISSUE.

ARE YOU SAYING HE IS NO LONGER

SEXY?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS AD FOR DOLCE

AND GABANA?

HIS TORSO ALONE IS SO SEXY, THAT

IT IS REJECTING HIS SHIRT.

( LAUGHTER )

SEXIEST MAN ALIVE SHOULD BE LIKE

THE SUPREME COURT-- ONCE YOU ARE

PICKED, YOU ARE SEXIEST FOR

LIFE.

LOOK AT NICK NOLTE.

HE WAS 1992'S SEXIEST MAN, AND

LOOK AT HIM NOW.

STILL SEXY.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

READ THE CONSTITUTION, "PEOPLE"

MAGAZINE.

UNTIL SUCH TIME AS

MR. McCONAUGHEY WANTS TO STEP

DOWN, HE IS THE BEEFCAKE IN

CHIEF.

AND YOU ARE NOT TO STAIN YOUR

COVER WITH THIS