Colbert Super PAC - "Corporations Are People"

  • Aired:  10/24/11
  •  | Views: 26,899

Little Charlie and Grace can start their Colbert Super PAC lemonade stand now that Stephen knows what his super PAC stands for. (2:26)

REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL

RACE.

BUT FIRST OFF, A SHOCKING

REPORT ON ATTEMPTS TO

INFLUENCE THE ELECTION BY A

SHADOWY ORGANIZATION ARMED

WITH UNLIMITED MONEY,

COLBERT SUPERPAC.

NOW FOLKS, I DON'T WANT TO

BRAG BUT WE HAVE RAISED

ENOUGH CASH FOR ME TO HIRE A

TEAM OF PROFESSIONAL

BRAGGERS.

AND ONE OF THOSE DONATIONS

CAME FROM TWO LITTLE KIDS,

CHARLIE AND GRACE, 8 AND 10,

WHO SENT ME $13, AND A NOTE

THAT MEANT ALMOST AS MUCH AS

THEIR MONEY.

(LAUGHTER)

>> JIM.

>> THEY WANT TO DO A

LEMONADE STAND FOR THE

SUPERPAC.

THEY WROTE MOM SAYS WE CAN'T

DO A LEMON SAID STAND FOR IT

UNTIL YOU DECIDE WHAT THE

SUPERPAC STANDS FOR SO LET

US KNOW.

(LAUGHTER)

KIDS ASK THE DARNEDEST

QUESTIONS THAT THE PRESS

GENERALLY DOESN'T.

SO WHAT DO WE STAND FOR?

I ASKED YOU TO TELL ME AT

COLBERT SUPERPAC.COM, 53,000

OF YOU RESPONDED AND I USED

YOUR ANSWERS TO CREATE A

WORD CLOUD.

IT TURNS OUT THE THINGS

PEOPLE CARE ABOUT MOST,

PEOPLE.

KIND OF SELF-INVOLVED.

BUT I DUG DEEPER AND I

CREATED ANOTHER WORD CLOUD

OF THE WORDS YOU USED WITH

PEOPLE.

AND THE NEXT MOST COMMONLY

USED WORD, CORPORATIONS,

RIGHT THERE.

THAT CAN MEAN ONLY ONE OF

TWO THINGS.

AND I CHOOSE TO IGNORE ONE

OF THEM.

LEAVING ONLY ONE POSSIBILITY,

YOU WANT COLBERT SUPERPAC TO

STAND FOR THE SELF-EVIDENT

TRUTHS THAT CORPORATIONS ARE

PEOPLE.

SO CHARLIE AND GRACE, YOU

CAN START THAT LEMONADE

STAND NOW.

OR BETTER YET, START LEMCO

INC., THE PURVEYORS OF ALL

NATURAL LEM N ADE.

WARNING, CONTAINS NO LEM OR

ADE.

AND FOLKS THIS IS A CRUCIAL

TIME IN THE FIGHT FOR

CORPORATE CIVIL RIGHTS.

JUST LOOK AT THE HATEFUL

SIGNS THAT OCCUPY WALL

STREET.

CORPORATIONS ARE NOT PEOPLE.

WOW.

I THOUGHT WE WERE PASSED THE

POINT IN THIS COUNTRY WHERE

SOME PEOPLE AREN'T PEOPLE.

JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE

DIFFERENT COLOR SKIN OR

DIFFERENT RELIGION OR WERE

BORN IN A LAWYER'S OFFICE

ONLY EXIST ON PAPER,

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