Senior Moment - Pot Smoking Seniors

  • Aired:  06/15/11
  •  | Views: 32,484

Seniors will soon be crocheting black light posters and syncing Perry Como's "Lightly Latin" with season three of "Murder She Wrote." (3:48)

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

FOLKS, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT A

SECRET, I LOVE HELPING SENIORS.

THAT'S WHY I LIKE TO SET ASIDE

SPECIAL TIME ON MY SHOW FOR THEM

AND LIKE PHONECALLS TO MY NANA,

I ONLY DO IT TWICE A YEAR.

THIS IS STEPHEN COLBERT'S SENIOR

MOMENT.

♪ ♪

FOLKS, WE ALL KNOW THAT POT

SMOKING IS A MENACE AND NOT JUST

TO OUR NATION'S DWINDLING SUPPLY

OF EL FUDGE COOKIES.

BUT LOOK WHO IS OKAY TING NOW.

>> PRETTY MUCH THE LAST PLACE

YOU WOULD EXPECT TO FIND

HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE SMOKE POT BUT

SENIORS LIVING AT THE LAGUNA

WOODS RETIREMENT COMMUNITY ALSO

KNOWN AS LEISURE WORLD HAVE

FORMED A NONPROFIT MEDICAL

MARIJUANA COLLECTIVE.

>> THE THOUGHT OF NAUSEA

DISAPPEARS AND IT'S REPLACED BY

WHAT IS COMMONLY CALLED THE

MUNCHIES.

>> Stephen: OUR ELDERLY ARE

GETTING BAKED.

NO WONDER THEY ARE EATING DINNER

AT 4:00 IN THE AFTERNOON.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

FOLKS, WE CANNOT HAVE THE

GREATEST GENERATION BURNING

DOWN.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, THEY'LL BE

CROCHETING BLACK LIGHT PILLOW

AND TRYING TO SYNC UP PERRY C

CUOMO'S LIGHTLY LATIN.

SOON THEY'LL MOVE ON TO MEJ AND

IN ONE WILL KNOW BECAUSE THEY

HAVE ALREADY LOST THEIR TEETH.

FOLKS, AS ALWAYS I'M MOSTLY

WORRIED ABOUT HOW THIS WILL

EFFECT ME.

BECAUSE AS REGULAR VIEWERS KNOW

I'M A FRIEND OF FACTOR AND FORM

ER OATMEAL SPOKESPERSON

WILFORD BRIMLEY.

HE IS MY MENTOR.

I RECEIVED A DISTURBING

PHONECALL.

SINCE RECORD ALL OF MY CALLS --

IT'S FOR THE LAWSUIT -- I CAN

PLAY IT FOR YOU NOW.

JIM?

>> HELLO?

>> HEY, COLLEGE.

>> Stephen: WILFORD?

>> IT'S WILFORD BRIMLEY.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU OKAY?

>> I'M AS FRIED AS A CHURRO.

HAD SOME OF THAT MARIJUANA.

IT'S PRESCRIPTION.

IT'S FOR MY DIABETES.

DIABETES.

DIABETES.

DIA-A-BETES.

YOU EVER SAY A WORD SO MANY

TIMES IT LOSES ALL MEANING.

>> Stephen: I HAVE TO WORK

TOMORROW.

>> I WON'T TAKE ANY MORE OF YOUR

TIME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK GOES UP INSIDE

A DISH WASHER.

I'M THINKING ABOUT CRAWLING UP

IN THERE.

>> Stephen: DON'T.

SHOULD I SEND SOMEONE OVER

THERE?

>> NOT UNLESS THEY WANT TO SEE A

76-YEAR-OLD MAN EATING OATMEAL

IN THE BUFF.

THE GUY IN THE OATMEAL BOX IS

LOOK AT ME.

>> Stephen: I'M HANGING UP.

>> COLBERT, WAIT.

>> Stephen: YES?

>> I LOVE YOU.

>> Stephen: THANKS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO -- WHAT IS

THAT NOISE.

>> (bleep).

I GOTTA GO.

I PUT A DVD IN MY TOASTER OVEN

TO REWIND IT AND NOW THE

BREAKFAST NOOK IS ON FIRE.

WHERE IS THE EXTINGUISHER?

PUT IT OUT WITH OATMEAL.

NOW THE OATMEAL IS ON FIRE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: KIDS, LISTEN TO

YOUR ELDERS, THEY ARE A FONT OF

WISDOM.

AND ELDERS, LAY OFF THE D

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