cOlbert's Book Club - Better Know a Salinger

  • Aired:  09/10/13
  •  | Views: 26,094

J.D. Salinger flunked out of school his sophomore year because he hadn't read the sophomore book assignment -- because he hadn't written it yet. (4:57)

NOW, SALINGER WAS FIERCELYPROTECT IF THE OF HIS PRIVACY SO

LET'S INVADE HIS PRIVACY IN PARTONE OF MY ONE-PART SERIES,

BETTER KNOW SALINGER.

>> J.D. SALINGER, THE WRITIN'J-D! SALINGER WAS BORN IN --

SALINGER WAS BORN IN 1919 TOMIRIAM AND SAL, SALINGER, HE WAS

A MEDIOCRE STUDENT, ENDED UPFLUNKING OUT OF THE MCBURNEY

SCHOOL IN HIS SOPHOMORE YEAR,APPARENTLY HE HAD NOT READ THE

SOPHOMORE BOOK ASSIGNMENT MAINLYBECAUSE HE HADN'T WRITTEN IT

YET. FROM THERE, SALINGER WENTON TO MILITARY SCHOOL AND WAS

EVENTUALLY DRAFTED INTO WORLDWAR II.

HE WAS ON UTAH BEACH ON D-DAY,HE FOUGHT IN THE BATTLE OF THE

BULGE AND LIBERATE ADDCONCENTRATION CAMP ALL THE WHILE

WRITING SHORT SERIES THE THEMESOF ALIENATION, DEPRESSION AND

LOS OF NEGLIGENCE.

WHAT AN IMAGINATION! WHILE INGERMANY THE HALF JEWISH SALINGER

ARRESTED A YOUNG NAZI OFFICIALNAMED SYLVIA, WHO HE THEN

MARRIED AND BROUGHT TO AMERICA.

THE MARRIAGE LASTED ONLY EIGHTMONTHS AND ACCORDING TO

SALINGER'S DAUGHTER FOREVERAFTERWARDS SALINGER REFERRED TO

SYLVIA AS SALIVA.

WHICH WILL GO DOWN IN HISTORY ASTHE KINDEST POSSIBLE WAY TO

INSULT A NAZI.

IN 1951, SALINGER RELEASED THECATCHER IN THE TRY, THE STORY OF

AN ADOLESCENT NAMED HOLDENCAULFIELD WHO SKIPPED OUT IN

SCHOOL, HEADS TO THE BIG CITY,WHERE HE GOES TO A JAZZ BAR,

LOOKS FOR DUCKS IN CENTRAL PARK,TAKES IN A MUSEUM, CATCHES A

CUBS GAME, JOINS A TWIST ANDSHOUT AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT

HOLDS, HIS DAD'S FERRARI FLIESOUT OF THE WINDOW INTO THE

WOODS!

[ APPLAUSE ]>> SINCE THEN CATCHER HAS BEEN

FEATURED IN THE MODERN LIBRARYAND TIME MAGAZINE'S LIST OF 100

BEST NOVELS SELLING OVER65 MILLION COPIES WORLDWIDE.

TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE THEJOY OF SEX SOLD ONLY 10 MILLION

COPIES WORLDWIDE AND THE CATCHERIN THE RYE HAS NO SEX, AND EVEN

LESS JOY.

>> NOTABLE FANS, NOTABLE FANS OFTHE CATCHER IN THE RYE INCLUDE

JOHN HINCKLEY, JR. WHO READ ITBEFORE SHOOTING RONALD REAGAN

AND MARK DAVID CHATMAN WHO READIT BEFORE SHOOTING JOHN LENNON,

IT IS THE MOST VIOLENT REACTIONTO A BOOK SINCE 1963'S TRAGIC

RASH OF POP HOPPING.

>> IN THE FINAL 45 YEARS OF HISLIFE, SALINGER DID NOT PUBLISH

ANY NEW MATERIAL DESPITEREPORTEDLY WRITING EVERY DAY.

THAT IS RIGHT.

HE WROTE THINGS WITHOUTIMMEDIATELY SHARING THEM WITH

THE WORLD AND I WILL GIVE YOU AMOMENT TO TWEET HOW STRANGE THAT

IS.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Stephen: NOW, THE ESTATE --

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Stephen: THE ESTATE OF J.D.

SALINGER IS RUMORED TO BEPUBLISHING FIVE NEW BOOKS IN THE

UPCOMING YEARS, THE BOOKS ARESAID TO INCLUDE A BOOK ON

EASTERN MYSTICISM, A COLLECTIONOF GLASS FAMILY STORIES AND A

PREQUEL TO HIS MOST FAMOUS WORK,THE CATCHER IN THE RYE, THE

PHANTOM MENACE.

THOUGH I AM NOT ENTIRELY SURETHE WORLD IS READY FOR JAR-JAR

CAULFIELD.

>> HE IS A GODDAMN PHONY!

>> IN HIS LATER YEARS SAL JERRYTHREATENED TO SUE JUST ABOUT

ANYONE WHO ATTEMPTED TO ADAPTHIS WORK, BUT DO YOU SEE ME

SHAKE, JERRY SO NOW I PRESENT TOYOU A DRAMATIC READING OF

STEPHEN COLBERT'S J.D.

SALINGER'S THE CATCHER IN THETRY.

LET ME JUST GET INTO CHARACTERWITH MY SCARF, MY RED HUNTING

CAP, AND MY CAULFIELD CATCHER INTHE TRY, I THINK THAT IS THE

KIND OF BOOK CAULFIELD WOULDCARRY AROUND.

HERE WE GO.

CHAPTER 1.

IF YOU REALLY WANT TO HEAR -- ♪>> I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO

THE ESTATE OF J.D. SALINGER.

HIS PUBLISHERS AT LITTLE BROWNAND COMPANY, AND, OF COURSE,

PATRICK STEWART, WHOSEPERFORMANCE AS PHOEBE WILL NOW

NEVER BE SEEN.

>> THIS HERE.

SIGN THIS HERE, AND RIGHT THERE.

OKAY.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OF COURSE, AS POPULAR AS CATCHERIN THE RYE IS, IT IS NOT THAT

GOOD OF A BOOK.

WHEN WE RETURN, MY GUEST AUTHORTOBIAS WOLFF WILL DASH HIMSELF

ON THE ROCKS OF MY CERTAINTY.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Loading...