Colorado's Booming Marijuana Industry

  • Aired:  03/13/14
  •  | Views: 51,473

The free market embraces recreational marijuana as pot sales skyrocket in Colorado. (2:45)

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> Stephen: OH, HEY!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT,EVERYBODY!

>> STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN!

STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SOMUCH.

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN, IN HERE, OUT

THERE, ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

MR. AND MRS. AMERICA, AND ALLTHE SHIPS AT SEA.

FOLKS, YOU CAN FEEL THEELECTRICITY IN THE ROOM RIGHT

NOW.

THIS IS OUR LAST SHOW BEFORE WETAKE A WEEK OFF FOR SPRING

BREAK.

I AM GOING TO MISS YOU BUT IHAVE NO CHOICE BECAUSE MY DOCTOR

SAYS I NEED TO LOAD UP ONVITAMIN BACARDI.

THAT'S GOOD OLD ALCOHOL-- SAFEAND EFFECTIVE WHEN ADMINISTERED

ORALLY.

BUT FIRST, TONIGHT, I WANT TOTALK TO YOU ABOUT MARIJUANA.

OR AS THE KIDS--( CHEERS )

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

IT FRIGHTENS ME, TOO.

( LAUGHTER )MARIJUANA, OR AS THE KIDS CALL

IT, JAZZ CIGARETTES.

JUST BECAUSE IT COMES FROMNATURE, PEOPLE THINK IT'S

HARMLESS, BUT IF POT WERE SOSAFE, THEN WHY IS EVERYONE FROM

THE MOVIE "REFER MADNESS" NOWDEAD?

( LAUGHTER )BUT RECENT NEWS FROM COLORADO,

A.K.A. "POT"SYLVANIA, HAS CAUGHTMY ATTENTION.

>> GREEN MAKES GREEN.

NEW NUMBERS SHOW COLORADO RAKINGIN ABOUT $2 MILLION IN ITS FIRST

MONTH OF RECREATIONAL MARIJUANASALES.

THAT'S FROM TAXES.

>> THAT FIGURE IS BASED ON TOTALSALES OF $14 MILLION DURING THE

FIRST MONTH IT BECAME LEGAL.

>> THAT STATE'S GOVERNOR THINKSMARIJUANA SALES WILL BRING IN

MORE THAN $600 MILLION A YEAR.

>> Stephen: $600 MILLION!

FOLKS, THE MARKET HAS SPOKEN,AND THE MARKET IS TOKIN'

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )AS A STAUNCH CAPITALIST, I MUST

NOW HONOR MY LONG-STANDINGPLEDGE TO INSTANTLY DITCH MY

MORALS FOR ANYTHING PROFITABLE.

FIRST UP, I'M GOING TO NEED ALITTLE BUSINESS EXPERIENCE,

OKAY, SO I SWIPED AN APPLE FROMTHE OFFICE FRIDGE, AND I ALSO

SWIPED SOME WEED, ALSO FROM THEOFFICE FRIDGE.

I DON'T CARE IF YOUR NAME WAS ONIT, JERRY, ALL RIGHT?

NOW FROM WHAT I READ ON REDDIT,IT'S EASY TO TURN THIS BAD BOY

INTO A PIPE.

I JUST HOLLOW OUT-- I JUSTHOLLOW OUT ONE LITTLE THING

HERE, AND I TAKE SOME OF THAT DPSPRINKLE THAT IN THERE.

AND THEN... MMMM.

MMMM.

MAN.

THAT IS SOME TART STANK.

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