"Snowquester"

  • Aired:  03/06/13
  •  | Views: 29,868

Winter Storm Saturn sweeps the country, but the media has a much better name for it. (2:47)

[EAGLE CAW]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING "STEPHEN!

']

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

>> Stephen: GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU SO MUCH, FOLKS.

GLAD YOU ARE WITH ME HERE TONIGHT.

NATION, AL GORE SHOULD BE TURNING OVER IN HIS GRAVE,

[LAUGHTER]

BECAUSE IT'S MARCH 6TH AND IT IS STILL WINTER.

[LAUGHTER]

A MASSIVE STORM IS SWEEPING THE COUNTRY, SO I HOPE YOU'RE BUNDLED UP SOMEWHERE WARM,

SURROUNDED BY YOUR LOVED ONES.

PARTICULARLY YOUR SLOW MOVING, WELL-MARBLED LOVED ONES.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU NEVER KNOW.

NOW, THIS YEAR THE WEATHER CHANNEL HAS TAKEN TO NAMING ALL THE WINTER STORMS, THEY'RE

CALLING THIS ONE WINTER STORM SATURN.

PERSONALLY, I WOULD HAVE GONE WITH URANUS BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE THEY ARE PULLING THESE NAMES FROM.

[LAUGHTER]

BESIDES, THE REST OF THE MEDIA HAS A MUCH BETTER NAME FOR THE STORM.

>> THE DREADED "S" WORD, SNOWQUESTER.

>> SNOWQUESTER.

>> SNOWQUESTER.

>> SNOWQUESTER.

>> SNOWQUESTER, RIGHT?

> THEY'RE CALLING IT SNOWQUESTER WHICH I THINK IS GREAT.

>> ISN'T THAT CUTE?

I THINK IT'S CUTE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Stephen: IT IS CUTE.

AND DEADLY.

[LAUGHTER]

OF COURSE, THE SNOWQUESTER IS A COMBINATION OF SNOW AND THE SEQUESTER.

NATION, I THINK THIS FANTASTIC AND RIDICULOUS.

OR, FANTASTICULOUS.

[LAUGHTER]

WE SHOULD NAME ALL OF OUR WEATHER EVENTS AFTER WHAT KIND THEY ARE PLUS WHATEVER PEOPLE

ARE TALKING ABOUT ON TELEVISION AT THE TIME.

TODAY, A WASHINGTON IS BLANKETED IN THE SNOWQUESTER, TOMORROW, A STORM COVERS NEW YORK IN DRONE-CICLES.

[LAUGHTER]

OR A FREAK BLIZZ-ARDASHIAN.

AS WE SPEAK OKLAHOMA IS STILL SUFFERING THE EFFECTS OF POPE BENE-DROUGHT THE 16TH?

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, ISN'T THAT CUTE?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

KIND OF CUTE.