The Word - Catch 2012

  • Aired:  01/05/12
  •  | Views: 143,357

The National Defense Authorization Act strikes at the heart of the most notorious safe haven for terrorists: the U.S. Constitution. (5:58)

MOVING ON.

BUT BEFORE WE GET TOO USED

TO THE TERM PRESIDENT

SANTORUM, I'VE GOT TO WARN

YOU FOLKS, THAT THERE IS A

SLIM CHANCE THAT HE MAY NOT

WIN.

YOU SEE BARACK OBAMA SAY

PRETTY GOOD CAMPAIGNER, WHO

WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO

BECOME OUR FIRST EVER SECOND

BLACK PRESIDENT.

HE IS ALREADY SET IN MOTION

A DIABOLICAL PLOT TO HOLD

OFFICE AND IT BRINGS US

TONIGHT'S WORD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: FOLKS, RIGHT NOW

THE CAMPAIGN IS FOCUSED ON

THE ECONOMY.

BUT WE'RE STILL AT WAR AND

WHOEVER IS THE PRESIDENT IS

GOING TO NEED EVERY TOOL AT

HIS DISPOSAL TO

DISRUPT-- DISRUPT, DEFEAT

AND DISMANTLE THE TERRORISTS

WHO SEEK TO-- THAT IS WHY I

HAVE ROOTED FOR THE PASSAGE

OF THE NATIONAL DEFENSE

AUTHORIZATION ACT.

THE NBAA.

IN ADDITION TO FUNDING OUR

WARS, THEY STRIKE AT THE

HEART OF THE MOST NOTORIOUS

SAFE HAVEN FOR TERRORISTS.

IT STRIKES AT THE U.S.

CONSTITUTION.

IN WHICH OUR FOUNDERS

NAIVELY GUARANTEED THE RIGHT

OF HABEAS CORPUS AND TRIAL

BY JURY.

BUT FOLKS, BY ENSCHRYNEING

OUR LIBERTIES, THAT IS NO

WAY TO PRESERVE THEM.

THANKFULLY THIS BILL

DOESN'T.

>> UNDER THE ACT THE

GOVERNMENT MAY DETAIN

WITHOUT TRIAL SUSPECTED

MEMBERS OF AL QAEDA OR ITS

ALLIES.

>> Stephen: IN OTHER WORDS, --

>> IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT WE

HAVE ALREADY BEEN DOING FOR

TEN YEARS BUT WITH THE

UNEXPECTED TWIST OF IT TO

YOU BEING LEGAL.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: WE DIDN'T SEE

THAT COMING.

NOW OF COURSE, OF COURSE

THIS UP SET THE AL-CODDLERS

ON BOTH SIDES OF THE AISLE.

>> INDEFINITE MILITARY

DETENTION WITHOUT TRIAL OF

AMERICAN CITIZENS IS

CATEGORICALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

>> YOU CANNOT HAVE THE

PRESIDENT POWER TO ARREST

AMERICAN CITIZENS IN THEIR

OWN COUNTRY WITHOUT THE

RATIONAL OF DUE PROCESS.

>> IT TAKES A WRECKING BALL

TO THE UNITED STATES

CONSTITUTION.

THIS LEGISLATION AUTHORIZES

THE MILITARY TO INDEFINITELY

DETAIN INDIVIDUALS WITHOUT

CHARGE OR TRIAL, INCLUDING

THE DETENTION OF U.S.

CITIZENS ON U.S. SOIL.

>> Stephen: OH, THAT'S

RIDICULOUS.

WE WILL NOT LOCK UP

AMERICANS INDEFINITELY.

EVENTUALLY THEY WILL DIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: BUT TO PLACATE

THE HABBUOUS HUGGERS, AN

AMENDMENT WAS ADDED STATING

NOTHING IN THIS SECTION

SHALL BE CONSTRUED TO AFFECT

EXISTING LAW.

THAT THEN MADE THE BILL

ACCEPTABLE.

IN THE SAME WAY IT'S

ACCEPTABLE TO SAY YOUR

MOTHER IS A WHORE AS LONG AS

YOU ADD AN AMENDMENT SAYING,

IF SHE IS NOT, DISREGARD THE

PREVIOUS STATEMENT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, OF

COURSE NO ONE CAME OUT

HARDER AGAINST THIS BILL

THAN BARACK OBAMA WHO VOWED

TO VETO IT.

FORTUNATELY PRESIDENT OBAMA

WAS SMACK DOWN BY A MAN WITH

SOME BALLS.

COMMANDER IN CHIEF OBAMA WHO

SIGNED THE NDAA INTO LAW ON

DECEMBER 31st.

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

NOW HE KNEW THAT BY DOING

THIS HIS VOTERS WOULDN'T

LIKE IT.

SO THE PRESIDENT ADDED A

SIGNING STATEMENT THAT SAID

I HAVE SIGNED THIS BILL

DESPITE HAVING SERIOUS

RESERVATIONS.

HE SIGNED IT BUT SAID IT WAS

WRONG.

THAT IS CALLED STANDING ON

YOUR PRINCIPLESES.

BUT THE REAL STROKE OF

GENIUS HERE WAS WHEN HE

ADDED, QUOTE, MY

ADMINISTRATION WILL NOT

AUTHORIZE THE INDEFINITE

MILITARY DETENTION WITHOUT

TRIAL OF AMERICAN CITIZENS.

NOTICE HOW HE SAID "MY ADD."

THE PRESIDENT CAN NOW HAVE

YOU SNATCHED IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE NIGHT AND WHISKED OFF

TO BE TORTURED IN THE

BASEMENT OF SOME LITH JANIAN

JANIAN-- LITHUANIAN DISCO.

BUT, AND THIS IS IMPORTANT,

BARACK OBAMA IS SAYING THAT

WON'T HAPPEN TO YOU AS LONG

AS BARACK OBAMA IS PRESIDENT.

NOW IT IS CLEAR WHAT HIS

MESSAGE IS TO VOTERS.

HE'S SAYING HEY, YOU'RE SAFE

WITH ME.

BUT I CAN'T GUARANTEE THE

NEXT GUY ISN'T GOING TO

DISAPPEAR YOUR SON AND HOOK

HIS NIPPLES UP TO A TRUCK

BATTERY.

OR, AS HE USED TO SAY, HOPE.

BUT WITH THE ECONOMY WHERE

IT IS, FOLKS, HE'S GOING TO

HAVE TO GO EVEN FURTHER.

I THINK NEXT HE SHOULD

INTRODUCE, SIGN AND THEN

OPPOSE A LAW GRANTING HIM

THE COMMAND NEVER CHIEF

PRIMA NUCTI, THE RIGHT TO

DEFLOWER ANY MAN'S WIFE ON

THEIR WEDDING NIGHT.

NOW OF COURSE, PRESIDENT

OBAMA WOULD NEVER DO THAT.

BUT PRESIDENT GINGRICH?

DO YOU REALLY WANT TO TAKE

THAT CHANCE?

OR TO MAKE SURE HE NEVER HAS

TO LEAVE OFFICE, OBAMA COULD

SIMPLY SIGN THE LAW ALLOWING

EX-PRESIDENTS TO HUNT

AMERICANS FOR SPORT.

UP UNTIL NOW THAT WAS ONLY

LEGAL FOR VICE PRESIDENTS.

SO--

(APPLAUSE)

I MISS THAT GOOD MAN.

SO IF YOU'RE UP SET BECAUSE

YOU VOTED FOR BARACK OBAMA

THINKING HE WOULD BE BETTER

THAN GEORGE BUSH ON

INDEFINITE DETENTION, YOU

BETTER VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN.

NOT BECAUSE HE'S BETTER BUT

BECAUSE HE JUST RELUCTANTLY

MADE IT EASIER FOR THE NEXT

PRESIDENT TO BE JUST