Colbert Super PAC SHH! - Secret Second 501c4 - Trevor Potter

  • Aired:  11/12/12
  •  | Views: 860,949

Stephen learns how to give Colbert Super PAC money to himself and thereby hide it forever from all eyes and use it in a way that he wishes. (4:54)

OH, THESE HANDS, OH THESE HANDS ARE COMING COVERED IN HAM JUICE.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD I NEED A LAWYER.

PLEASE WELCOME FORMER FCC CHAIRMAN GENERAL COUNSEL FOR THE McCAIN 2008 CAMPAIGN AND

MY PERSONAL LAWYER TREVOR POTTER, TREVOR, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: TREVOR, TREVOR, TREVOR.

FIRST OF ALL, FIRST OF ALL, TREVOR, I JUST KILLED MY CHIEF STRATEGIST.

CAN YOU GET ME OFF?

>> AS FAR AS I KNOW IT'S NOT ILLEGAL TO STAB A HAM.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO OBAMA'S AMERICA.

(LAUGHTER) ALL RIGHT, TREVOR, TREVOR, I'M SCARED, OKAY.

I'VE GOT A SUPER PAC AND A F 01 C 4 COLBERT SUPER PAC SHH.

AND I TOOK MONEY FROM SOME SCARY GUYS.

AND I JUST WANT OUT OF THE GAME.

HE WANT TO GET OUT OF THE SUPER PAC BUSINESS.

I CAN CLOSE DOWN MY SUPER PAC.

>> SURE, YOU CAN DO THAT.

>> Stephen: OKAY, BUT I'VE GOT A LOT OF MONEY IN THERE, ALMOST $800,000.

I WOULD LIKE TO KEEP THAT MONEY.

WHAT CAN I DO WITH IT?

>> WELL, YOU CAN USE IT FOR ANY LEGAL PURPOSE.

YOU COULD EVEN WRITE YOURSELF A CHECK FOR THAT WHOLE AMOUNT.

>> Stephen: I LIKE THAT.

>> THE ONLY PROBLEM IS THAT EVERYONE WILL KNOW BECAUSE IF YOU REPORT THAT ON THE

FEC REPORT FOR THE SUPER PAC.

>> Stephen: BUT THAT'S NO FUN AT ALL.

THE WHOLE POINT OF HAVING A SUPER PAC IS SECRET MONEY, USING IT ANYWAY YOU WANT, TREVOR.

IS THERE ANY WAY, AND I KNOW IS CRAZY, THESE MIGHT BE THE MAD RAMBLINGS OF A SIEVE

LITIC BRAIN.

BUT HEAR ME OUT, CAN I SOMEHOW GIVE THE MONEY TO MYSELF AND THEREBY HIDE IT FOREVER FROM ALL EYES AND

USE IT IN A WAY THAT I WISH?

>> ACTUALLY, YOU CAN.

>> Stephen: I KNEW IT.

OKAY WA, DO WE HAVE TO DO?

WHAT-- WHAT DO WE GOT TO DO?

>> WELL, YOU KNOW YOUR 501 C 4.

>> Stephen: COLBERT SUPER PAC SHH.

>> IS THE SECRET MONEY.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> SO WE ARE WANT TO YOU TRANSFER THE MONEY FROM YOUR SUPER PAC OVER TO YOUR 501

C-HAD AND WHAT WE'LL DO IS WHAT THE TAX LAWYERS CALL AN AGENCY LETTER WHICH SIMPLY

MEANS YOU WRITE A LETTER THAT TELLS THE C-4 EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WITH THE MONEY.

AND IF YOU DO THAT, THE IRS DOESN'T CONSIDER IT TO HAVE BEEN THE C-4'S MONEY.

AND IT DOESN'T END UP ON THE TAX RETURN.

>> Stephen: IT GOES FROM MY SUPER PAC INTO A 501 C 4 REASONS RIGHT, NOW SINCE

EVERYONE KNOWS THE NAME OF YOUR C-4.

WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BET PER IF WE CREATED A WHOLE NEW ANONYMOUS C-4 SO THAT THE FIRST ONE TRANSFERS

THE MONEY TO THE SECOND ONE, AND THE SECOND ONE WHICH YOU WILL ALSO RUN THEN DISPERSES IT.

THAT WAY WE'RE SURE NOBODY CAN TRACE IT.

>> Stephen: SO I WRITE A CHECK FROM MY SUPER PAC TO MY 501 C 4 TO MY SECOND

SECRET 501 C 4 AND BECAUSE I SENT A LETTER ALONG THE WAY SAYING HERE IS WHAT I WANT

YOU TWO GUYS DO IT NEITHER I NOR ME NOR ME IS RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE MONEY.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: I LOVE AMERICA.

(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) SO LET ME SEE IF I CAN MAKE CLEAR WHAT'S HAPPENING.

I HAVE GOT A 501 C 4 CALLED SOL BETTER SUPER PAC SHH.

I TAKE THE MONEY FROM THE SUPER PAC, A PASS IT THROUGH THE 501 C-4.

(LAUGHTER) INTO A SECOND UNNAMED 501 C-4.

I PLACE ALL THE MONEY INSIDE THAT SECOND UNNAMED 501 C-4 AND THROUGH THE MAGIC OF

YOUR LAWYERING AND THE PRESENT FEDERAL TAX CODE, AFTER I CLOSE IT AND LOCK IT THAT MONEY IS GONE FOREVER

AND NO ONE EVER KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?

>> YOU'LL KNOW BUT NOBODY ELSE WILL.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELL, TREVOR WHAT ABOUT THE IRS.

DON'T THEY GET TO KNOW EVERYTHING?

>> WELL, THE NICE THING ABOUT THE AGENCY LETTER IS THE LEGAL FICTION HERE IS

THAT THE C-4 NEVER RECEIVED THE MONEY AND NEVER SPENT IT.

SO YOUR NEW SECRET NAMELESS C-4 WILL SEND A POSTCARD TO THE IRS WITH ITS TAX RETURN

ON IT.

>> Stephen: BUT THERE IS NO MONEY INDICATED ON THIS.

>> THAT'S RIGHT THERE ARE NO NUMBERS BECAUSE IT NEVER HAD ANY MONEY EVEN THOUGH IT

WENT RIGHT THROUGH IT.

>> Stephen: SO WHAT DO I HAVE TO TELL EVEN THE IRS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WITH

THIS MONEY?

>> NOTHING.

>> Stephen: WELL, TREVOR-- THANKS FOR NOTHING.

TREVOR POTTER, EVERYBODY.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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