Tip/Wag - Pin-Ups for Ron Paul, Movie Torture Tactics & Offensive Merchandise

  • Aired:  11/16/11
  •  | Views: 35,477

Ron Paul supporters release a pin-up calendar, Allen West defends waterboarding, and Forever 21 discontinues a controversial necklace. (6:02)

NEWT WITH A BULLET.

NATION, I SAY YOU SHOULD NEVER

JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

WAIT TILL THE MOVIE COMES OUT.

( LAUGHTER ).

THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAG OF

THE FINGER.

( CHEERS )

YOU KNOW, I HAVE ALWAYS

SUPPORTED FRIEND OF THE SHOW AND

LIBERTARIAN BRIDGE TROLL RON

PAUL.

( LAUGHTER )

THAT'S WHY I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT

THE NEW 2012 PINUPS FOR RON PAUL

CALENDARS FULL OF LOVELY LADIES

THAT ILLUSTRATE IMPORTANT

LIBERTARIAN CAUSES.

FOR INSTANCE, MISS OCTOBER IS

DRESSED AS LADY LIBERTY ABOUT TO

HAVE HER BLOOD SUCKED BY THE

DRACULA OF WAR, INFLATION, AND

BAILOUTS, WHILE UNDERSTAND IN

THE GRAVEYARD OF PEACE AND

LIBERTY.

CRISP, CLEAR, MESSAGING.

BUT A LITTLE SIMPLISTIC.

FOR NEXT YEAR, MIGHT I SUGGEST A

SEXY BETSY ROSS SEWING A FLAG

LABELED CAP AND TRADE WHILE AN

F.D.A. FRANKENSTEIN SNEAKS UP ON

HER WITH A KNIFE LABELED SOCIAL

SAFETY NET, AND A NET LABELED

DEBT WHILE THEY'RE ON A HIGH

WIRE OF FREEDOM OVER A BUBBLING

LAVA PIT LABELED FREE SCHOOL

LUNCHES.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

NOW-- BUT AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS

CALENDAR, I HAVE TO WAG MY

FINGER AT PINUPS FOR RON PAUL.

BECAUSE THIS ALLEGEDLY

LIBERTARIAN PRODUCT FEATURES ALL

THE FEDERALLY MANDATED HOLIDAYS.

WHO IS THE GOVERNMENT TO TELL ME

WHAT DAY TO CELEBRATE THE

4th OF JULY?

AND WHY ARE WE LETTING THE

GOVERNMENT REGULATE THE NUMBER

OF DAYS IN A YEAR?

IT WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE TO GO

TO A DECIMAL SYSTEM, WHICH

AUSTRIAN ECONOMIST LUDWIG VON

MISES HAS PROVEN WOULD SAVE US

6.7 HECHTA-HOURS PER KILO-ANNUM.

A TRUE LIBERTARIAN PINUP

CALENDAR WOULD JUST BE ONE PAGE.

THE BOTTOM WOULD BE BLANK SO THE

FREE MARKET COULD DECIDE WHAT

DAY IT IS AND THE TOP WOULD JUST

BE A MIRROR BECAUSE YOU ARE THE

ONLY ONE WHO MATTERS.

( LAUGHTER )

( APPLAUSE )

HELLO.

HELLO!

HELLO, MR. NOVEMBER.

GOT ANYTHING ON DOWN THERE?

OH!

OH!

OH, MY.

ALL RIGHT.

PERSONALLY, I CAN'T WAIT FOR

HERMAN CAIN'S CALENDAR WHICH

FEATURES THE SEXY SILHOUETTES OF

12 WOMEN HE PAID TO STAY

ANONYMOUS.

NEXT, FOLKS, I WAS HAPPY TO SEE

A RECENT DEBATE, THE REPUBLICAN

CANDIDATES STOOD UP FOR A CORE

AMERICAN VALUE.

>> IF I WERE PRESIDENT, I WOULD

BE WILLING TO USE WATERBOARDING.

I THINK IT WAS VERY EFFECTIVE.

>> I WOULD RETURN TO THAT

POLICY.

I DON'T SEE IT AS TORTURE.

>> I WILL BE FOR IT UNTIL I DIE.

>> Stephen: NOTICE PERRY

SURPRISED ME THERE.

HE IS NOT KNOWN FOR THE

SIMULATED KILLING OF PRISONERS.

OF COURSE, OUR WET BLANKET IN

CHIEF HAS A DIFFERENT OPINION.

>> ANYBODY WHO HAS ACTUALLY READ

ABOUT AND UNDERSTANDS THE

PRACTICE OF WATERBOARDING WOULD

SAY THAT THAT IS TORTURE.

>> Stephen: FINE.

IF I DON'T READ ABOUT IT OR

UNDERSTAND IT I STILL SAY IT'S A

LUNG JACUZZI.

LUCKILY, FOLKS, THERE IS ONE

BRAVE VOICE STANDING UP FOR

WHAT'S RIGHT SO A TIP OF MY HAT

TO FLORIDA REPRESENTATIVE ALAN

WEST.

JIM, PLAY THE MAN.

>> AND AS THE PRESIDENT, YOU

NEED TO DO THOSE THINGS WHICH

ARE NECESSARY TO MAKE SURE THAT

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE KEPT

SAFE.

FURTHERMORE INITIATE MOVIE "G.I.

JANE," DEMY MOORE WAS

WATERBOARDED.

>> Stephen: FOLKS I NEED NO

FURTHER PROOF THAT WATERBOARDING

IS EFFECT AND I HAVE NECESSARY

FROM THE FACT THAT IT WAS USED

ON DEMI MOORE.

THAT MOVIE CAME OUT 14 YEARS AGO

AND SHE STILL LOOKS INCREDIBLE.

WE SHOULD CALL IT "COUGAR

BOARDING."

I BELIEVE ALAN WEST IS ON TO

SOMETHING.

IF IT'S OKAY TO DO IT IN A 57,

IT IS A VALID INTERROGATION

TACTIC.

THEREFORE, DETAINEES SHOULD BE

FORCED TO DRINK OIL, HAVE THEIR

BRAINS SUCKUD OUT BY A GIANT

BUG, OR PLAY SHIRTLESS BEACH

VOLLEYBALL IN TIGHT JEANS.

FINALLY, EYE-OPENING CONSUMER

NEWS FROM KCBS, LOS ANGELES'

NEWS LEADER.

>> LAITLE NECKLACE IS CAUTION A

BIG CONTROVERSY AT FOREVER 21

CLOTHING STORES.

IT'S CALLED THE ORIENTAL GIRL

NECKLACE.

IT HAS THE INTERNET BECAUSING

WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY THE TERM

ORIENTAL IS RACIST AND SAY THE

CHARM ITSELF IS DEROGATORY IN

ITS DEPICTION OF AIR,IAN WOMEN.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

THEY SO ANGRY THEY HATE YOU LONG

TIME.

( LAUGHTER ).

FOLKS, THIS CONTROVERSIAL

NECKLACE HAS BEEN PULLED FROM

THE SHELVES, SO IF YOU BOUGHT

ONE, IT IS NOW A RARE

COLLECTOR'S ITEM.

BECAUSE FOREVER 21 RECENTLY HAD

TO STOP SELLING AN OFFENSIVE

GIRLS' T-SHIRT THAT READ,

"ALLERGIC TO ALGEBRA."

THAT DISCONTINUED $12.80 SHIRT

SHOWED UP ON E-BAY FOR $16.99

WHICH EVEN A GIRL KNOWS IS MORE.

THAT'S WHY I'M GIVING A TIP OF

MY HAT TO OFFENSIVE MERCHANDISE.

IT IS A STABLE, LONG-TERM

INVESTMENT.

FOR INSTANCE, BACK IN 2002,

BEFORE THIS LONG BROTHERS

LAUNDRY SERVICE T-SHIRT WAS

PULLED FROM SHELVED AT

ABERCROMBIE AND FITCH.

IT WENT FOR 25 BUCKS.

IT NOW FETCHES 65.

THIS STUNNED MARKET WATCHERS WHO

WERE SURPRISED THAT ABERCROMBIE

SOLD CLOTHING.

BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO MAKE

SOME REAL MONEY I SAY CUT OUT

THE MIDDLE MAN AND SELL YOUR OWN

DISCONTINUED RACIST MERCHANDISE,

LIKE T-SHIRTS WITH HIP PHRASES

LIKE NOT SQUINTING, JUST COR18.

AND MULATTOS HAVE MIXED FEELINGS

WHICH OF COURSE COULDS IN A

COLPOLY-COTTON

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