Flagworth 2012

  • Aired:  07/13/11
  •  | Views: 22,201

Seeing an American flag can shift voters toward republicanism, so Franklin F. Flagworth should be the GOP's frontrunner. (3:17)

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WOO!

WOO!

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[CROWD CHANTING STEPHEN]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO THE REPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

THAT KIND OF CHANTING MAKES ME

WANT TO SAY, YOU ARE THE MAN!

BUT --

[LAUGHTER]

I DON'T WANT TO GET THAT WRONG.

[LAUGHTER]

NATION, WE ALL KNOW THE GOP'S

NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IS TO MAKE

SURE OBAMA IS A ONE-TERM

PRESIDENT.

BUT I SAY, AIM HIGHER.

MAKE HIM A NO-TERM PRESIDENT.

LET'S BUILD A TIME MACHINE, GO

BACK TO THE 1970'S, AND CONVINCE

YOUNG BARACK TO GO INTO

DENTISTRY!

[LAUGHTER]

HE WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD.

I WOULD HAVE TRUSTED HIM FOR

THAT.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT ON THE SLIM CHANCE THAT MY

TIME MACHINE PLAN DOESN'T WORK,

THERE MAY BE ANOTHER WAY TO WIN.

REPUBLICANS HAVE AN EDGE IN

2012, THANKS TO A NEW STUDY OUT

OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO

WHICH FOUND THAT SEEING AN

AMERICAN FLAG CAN SHIFT VOTERS

TOWARDS REPUBLICANISM.

BEFORE THE 2008 ELECTION,

RESEARCHERS GAVE TWO GROUPS WITH

THE SAME POLITICAL BELIEFS

QUESTIONNAIRES ASKING WHO THEY

WERE GOING TO VOTE FOR:

OBAMA OR MCCAIN.

THE QUESTIONNAIRES WERE

IDENTICAL EXCEPT ONE GROUP'S

FORM HAD A SMALL AMERICAN FLAG

AND THE OTHER DID NOT.

AFTER THE ELECTION, RESEARCHERS

FOUND THAT THOSE WHO SAW THE

FLAG WERE LESS LIKELY TO HAVE

VOTED FOR OBAMA.

THAT MEANS MCCAIN COULD'VE WON,

IF ONLY HE'D SHOWN UP TO DEBATES

LIKE THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

THREW IT AWAY.

HE THREW THAT ONE AWAY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THIS STUDY HAS ME THINKING.

WE MAY HAVE A NEW GOP

FRONTRUNNER -- THE HONORABLE

FRANKLIN F. FLAGWORTH.

[LAUGHTER]

THIS GUY'S GOT EVERYTHING.

HE'S A WAR HERO.

HE'S BEEN TO THE MOON.

WE KNOW HE WAS BORN IN AMERICA.

AND LIKE ALL GREAT PRESIDENTS,

HE HAS AN EMBARRASSING SOUTHERN

RELATIVE AND HE HAS HAD A SEX

SCANDAL.

[LAUGHTER]

IS THERE A BABY?

I'LL NEVER TELL.

[LAUGHTER]

PLUS, WHENEVER HE SHOWS UP, THE

OTHER CANDIDATES HAVE TO PLEDGE

TO HIM.

SURE, SOMETIMES HE GOES

WHICHEVER WAY THE WIND BLOWS,

BUT NOBODY WILL EVER QUESTION

HIS PATRIOTISM.

ONCE WE GIVE HIM A FLAG PIN.

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