Jimmy Fallon Promises a Performance by Stephen

  • Aired:  03/29/11
  •  | Views: 64,610

If Jimmy Fallon raises $26,000 for DonorsChoose by Friday, Stephen will be forced to give the performance of a lifetime. (3:44)

FOLKS, AS YOU KNOW, I AM IN THE

FORTH WEEK OF MY SIX-MONTH BEST

FRIENDSHIP WITH JIMMY FALLON.

WE ARE SO CLOSE.

WHEN I'M NOT DOING THIS SHOW,

SPENDING TIME WITH MY FAMILY,

SLEEPING, BUILDING AN R.C. CAR,

LEARNING TO PLAY THE MANDOLIN,

FLOSSING OR DIGITIZING OLD

PHOTOS I AM THERE FOR HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

WHICH IS WHY AFTER MY PORTRAIT

WAS AUCTIONED OFF FOR CHARITY

LAST WEEK, I WAS SO TOUCHED TO

MAKE THIS ANNOUNCEMENT.

JIM?

I AM HAPPY AND THRILLED TO

REPORT THAT MY BEST FRIEND FOR

SIX MONTHS JIMMY FALLON WILL BE

MATCHING THAT $26,000 TO

DONORSHOES.ORG.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

VERY GENEROUS.

VERY GENEROUS.

BUT, FOLKS, WHEN YOU LET A BEST

FRIEND INTO YOUR HEART...

(LAUGHTER).

THEY CAN BREAK IT, TOO

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

LAST WEEK, I SAID HE WAS GIVING

$26,000 BUT LAST NIGHT JIMMY

SAID THIS.

>> HERE'S THE THING.

I NEVER SAID THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

I THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA BUT I

DON'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE PUTTING

WORDS IN MY MOUTH.

>> Stephen: OH, STRAWBERRIES

IN YOUR MOUTH ARE OKAY BUT WORDS

BOTHER YOU?

(LAUGHTER)

I WAS SO UPSET THAT I WENT ON

HIS SHOW TO ATTACK HIM AS A

FRIEND!

IF YOU CAN'T DONATE $26,000, IF

YOUR BEST FRIEND'S MONEY WITHOUT

ASKING HIM FIRST...

(LAUGHTER).

WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING BEST

FRIENDS?

>> STEPHEN, HOLD ON...

>> Stephen: I CANNOT DO THIS

ANYMORE, JIMMY!

I GIVE AND I GIVE AND I GIVE

YOUR NOUN OTHER PEOPLE AND I GET

NOTHING BACK!

AND THEN I JUST GOT OUT OF

THERE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT

HOME.

I'LL ASK MY DRIVER.

(LAUGHTER)

THEN LATER WHEN I WASHED MYSELF

ON JIMMY'S SHOW I WAS SHOCKED TO

SEE THIS.

>> I THINK THE ONLY WAY TO FIX

THIS IS TO ACTUALLY COME UP WITH

THIS $26,000.

BUT I'M GOING TO NEED YOUR HELP.

IF WE CAN RAISE $26,000 BY THIS

FRIDAY, I WILL PROMISE THAT MY

B.F.F. FOR SIX MONTHS, STEPHEN

COLBERT, WILL COME ON THIS SHOW

AND SING REBECCA BLACK'S

"FRIDAY" WITH THE GROUP.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THAT'S A PROMISE I AM MAKING

FROM HIM TO YOU.

>> Stephen: WHAT THE (BLEEP)?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

ALL I DID WAS PLEDGE $26,000 OF

YOUR MONEY!

I NEVER SAID I'D SING.

AND WHAT THE HELL IS THIS

"FRIDAY" SONG?

JIMMY, GIVE ME A TASTE

♪ FRIDAY, FRIDAY, KICKING DAWN

ON FRIDAY

♪ EVERYBODY LOOKING FORWARD TO

THE WEEKEND

♪ PARTYING PARTYING, PARTYING

PARTYING

♪ FUN, FUN, FUN, FUN ♪

>> Stephen: FUN, FUN, FUNNING

FUN.

HOW MANY "FUNS" IS THAT?

THERE'S NO WAY TO LEARN THOSE

LYRICS BY THE LAST WEEKDAY,

WHATEVER IT'S CALLED.

(LAUGHTER)

NATION, WE CAN NOT LET THIS

HAPPEN.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT GO TO

JIMMY'S DONATION PAGE AT

DONORSCHOOSE.ORG/FALLONCOLBERT

PR

OJECT AND DONATE TO BENEFIT

CLASSROOMS IN NEED.

ESPECIAL DI DO NOT GO TO

COLBERTNATION.COM WHERE WE HAVE

A DONATION BUTTON THAT IS LARGE

AND EASY FOR YOU TO AVOID.

WE HAVE TO STOP THIS MAN BECAUSE

IF JIMMY FALLON REACHES HIS

GOAL, I WILL BE FORCED TO GIVE

THE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME.

(LAUGHTER)

BESIDES, FRIDAY NIGHT IS THE

NIGHT WHEN JIMMY AND I WERE

SUPPOSED TO GO SEE "HOP."

(LAUGHTER)

HE

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