PARRY-with-an-A-GATE! - Day 26 - Update

  • Aired:  09/07/11
  •  | Views: 18,839

WOI station manager and men's room Emmy fluffer Ray Cole sends an update on the Rick Parry write-in scandal. (3:59)

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

NATION, BEFORE OUR AUGUST BREAK,

I WAS TRYING TO GET TO THE

BOTTOM OF THE HUGE SCANDAL

ROCKING THE REPUBLICAN RACE FOR

PRESIDENT.

AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE

RUMOR THAT CANDIDATE THADDEUS

McCOTTER'S REAL NAME IS COTTER

McTHADDEUS.

NEW YORK I'M TALKING ABOUT

IOWA'S PARRY-WITH-AN-A GATE.

YOU ALL KNOW THE DETAILS.

OH, YEAH.

BUT IN CASE YOU'RE SOME SORT OF

CAVE MAN JUST THAWED FROM A

MILLION-YEAR ICY SLEEP, LET ME

CATCH YOU UP.

FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS TV.

TV GOOD.

SECONDLY, THE COLBERT NATION AND

I RECENTLY FORMED COLBERT SUPER

PAC, ALLOWING US TO RAISE AND

SPEND UNLIMITED AMOUNTS OF

MONEY.

TECHNICALLY MY LAWYER SAYS WE'RE

LIMITED TO THE AMOUNT OF MONEY

THAT CURRENTLY EXISTS IN THE

WORLD, BUT HE'S WORKING ON THAT.

NOW, WE USED OUR MONEY FOR THE

FIRST TIME TO RUN ADS IN ADVANCE

OF THE IOWA STRAW POLL

SUPPORTING WRITING IN TEXAS

GOVERNOR RICK PERRY, AND TO

DISTINGUISH OURSELVESES FROM THE

OTHER SUPER PAC SUPPORTING

PERRY, WE ASKED SUPPORTERS TO

WRITE IN HIS NAME WITH AN A, AND

IF THEY'RE FEELING REALLY

AMBITIOUS, DOT THE "I" IN RICK

WITH ANOTHER "A."

RICK PARRY CAME IN SIXTH OVER

ALL AND WAS THE NUMBER-ONE WRITE

IN CANDIDATE WITH 718 VOTESMENT

BUT FOLKS, EVERY SILVER LINING

HAS A DARK CLOUD.

THE IOWA G.O.P. HAS REFUSED TO

RELEASE THE WRITE-IN RESULTED,

SO WE DON'T KNOW HOW MANY OF

THOSE 718 VOTES WERE WITH AN A.

WAS IT 717?

AS LOW AS 716?

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

SO I TURNED TO THE COBAIL

REPORT'S AFFILIATE IN IOWA,

WOI ABC 5 WHERE DES MOINES TURNS

FOR DES NEWS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ENTIRE

NEWS TEAM.

CO-AN CORES AMANDA KRANZ AND

CHIEF METEOROLOGIST BRAD EDWARDS

CERTIFIED AS CENTRAL'S MOST

ACCURATE METEOROLOGIST FOR FIVE

YEARS AND WHO'S COUNTING?

LET'S NOT FORGET INTREPID CUP

REPORTER KATIE EASTMAN, WHOSE

PROVEN TRACK RECORD GARNERS ALL

THE PLUMB ASSIGNMENTS.

>> JESSICA, IOWA STATE STUDENTS

HAVE A LONG LIST OF PARKING

COMPLAINTS, BUT NEXT WEEK THERE

WILL BE A NEW PROGRAM THAT COULD

MAKE DRIVING PLACES MORE

CONVENIENT.

>> Stephen: NOW IF ONLY IOWA

WOULD COME UP WITH A PLACE FOR

PEOPLE TO GO.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL,, I WAS AWAY... I WAS AWAY

FOR TWO WEEKS, BUT I AM

CONFIDENT WOI WAS HARD AT WORK

TEARING THE LID OFF THIS SCANDAL

BECAUSE THEY SENT ME AN UPDATE

IN THE FORM OF AN E-MAIL TODAY

FROM WOI STATION MANAGER AND MY

MEN'S ROOM EMMY FLUFFER RAY COLE

THAT'S JUST... LET'S JUST GIVE

IT A READ HERE.

OKIE SMOKY.

ALL RIGHT.

IT STARTS OUT, STEPHEN.

GOOD STARTED.

THAT'S ME.

"ABC 5 NEWS'S AMANDA KRENZ

QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT THE

STRAW POLL RESULTS MIGHT BE

SUBJECT TO A TBEED OF

INFORMATION ACT REQUEST.

THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO.

THE LONG ANSWER IS NNNNNNNNNNNO.

IS THAT IT?

MAYBE IT'S CONTINUED ON THE

OTHER SIDE.

IS THERE ANYTHING?

DAMN.

OKAY.

WELL, STILL, I WANT TO THANK

EVERYBODY AT THE WOI NEWS TEAM,

PARTICULARLY THEIR NEW

INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALIST WHO IS

APPARENTLY A MAGIC 8 BALL.

WE'LL CHECK IN WITH YOU GUYS

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