Colbert Super PAC - The Heroes Respond

  • Aired:  08/04/11
  •  | Views: 178,981

Stephen calls on the Colbert Nation to send in more suggestions for the direction of his Super PAC, in addition to more money. (4:21)

YOUR CAKE.

NATION, CAN WE TALK ABOUT

COLBERT SUPER PAC FOR A SECOND?

CAN WE DO THAT?

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW OUR MOTTO.

SAY IT WITH ME, "MAKING A BETTER

TOMORROW TOMORROW."

YOU REALLY DIDN'T SAY IT WITH

ME.

[LAUGHTER]

AND, FOLKS, WE'LL GET THERE SOME

DAY BECAUSE LAST WEEK TWO YOUNG

CHILDREN, CHARLIE AND GRACE,

ASKED ME WHAT COLBERT SUPER PAC

STANDS FOR.

FOLKS, I WAS SO PROVED THAT I

IMMEDIATELY PASSED THE BUCK ON

TO YOU.

I ASKED YOU TO GO TO COLBERT

SUPER PAC.COM AND TELL ME WHAT

WE BELIEVE NEW YORK AND ALREADY

OVER 40,000 OF YOU HEROS HAVE

RESPONDED, SO IT'S GOING TO TAKE

A FEW MORE DAYS FOR MY TEAM OF

NOT EIGHT-YEAR-OLD MALAYSIAN

CHILD LABORERS TO SORT THROUGH

YOUR MEANINGFUL SUGGESTIONS.

SUGGESTIONS LIKE AT BARBARA C

TAYLOR WHO SAYS, "I STAND FOR

MAKING THE RICH PAY THEIR FAIR

SHARE OF TAXES, PROTECT

INTERESTS OF THE REST OF US WHO

BEAR THE TAX BURDEN AND DELETE."

[APPLAUSE]

OR AT HEATHER MACK WHO STANDS

FOR SMACKING SLOW-WALKING

PEDESTRIANS IN THE BACK OF THE

HEAD.

SOME OF US HAVE THINGS TO DO.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

YES.

POW.

THWACK.

YES.

SLOW WALKERS ARE A MENACE.

[LAUGHTER]

SOME OF US HAVE THINGS TO DO,

LIKE SEND TWEETS WHILE CROSSING

THE STREET.

SO KEEP THEM COMING, BUT

REMEMBER, IT'S NOT JUST YOUR

IDEAS I WANT.

I ALSO WANT YOUR CASH.

[LAUGHTER]

SO MUCH THAT I PUT THE NAMES OF

THE BRAVE AMERICANS WHO DONATE

ON MY CRAWL OF HEROES DOWN HERE,

AN WE'VE HAD SOME IMPRESSIVE

ONES LATELY, LIKE LORD SAURON.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

NO SURPRISE THERE, CONSIDERING

MY STAUNCH OPPOSITION TO

ELF-HUMAN MARRIAGE.

IF... IT'S ADAM AND EVE, NOT

ADAM AND ARWEN.

OF COURSE, COLBERT'S SUPER PAC

IS ALL ABOUT BUILDING BRIDGES,

THAT IS WHY I WAS TRULY DWRAT...

GRATIFIED TO SEE EVEN AFTER THE

THINGS I'VE SAID ABOUT MUSLIMS,

I RECEIVED A CONTRIBUTION FROM

ARAB-AMERICAN VIEWER SUQ MADIQ.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

I TRUST I'M PRONOUNCING THAT

CORRECTLY.

YOU'VE MADE YOUR PARENTS PROUD.

YOUR FATHER, LIQU MADIQ, AND

YOUR MOTHER, WHO STILL GOES BY

HER MAIDEN NAME, MUNCHMA

QUCHI...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

I'M GOING TO WARN OUR

AFFILIATES, WE MIGHT BE GOING

LONG TONIGHT.

NOW THE INTERNET WAGS OVER ON

THE REDDITS HAVE SUGGESTED THAT

THESE NAMES ARE PRANKS INTENDED

TO RUSE ME BY GIVING ME THE

BUSINESS.

WELL, I JUST WANT TO SAY TO

THESE WEB IMPS.

YOU GOT ME BY GIVING ME YOUR

MONEY.

YOU TOTALLY HACKED OUR SYSTEM

WITH YOUR CREDIT CARD, BUT I AM

ON TO YOUR GAME, AND I BET YOU

COULDN'T DO IT TO ME AGAIN,

ALTHOUGH YOU'VE GOT TO IMAGINE

HOW FUNNY IT WOULD BE TO DO IT

AT THE $1

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