Stephen Colbert's Bats**t Serious - Hillary Clinton Shoe-spiracy Theory

  • Aired:  04/21/14
  •  | Views: 34,886

A shoe-throwing incident during a speech by Hillary Clinton gives rise to conservative conspiracy theories. (4:27)

(LAUGHTER)FOLKS, THERE'S A CONSPIRACY

OF FOOT AFOOT.

WHICH CAN ONLY BE FULLYADDRESSED IN MY LONG RUNNING

SEGMENT, STEPHEN COLBERT'S[BLEEP] SERIOUS.

>> HEAR ME OUT.

>> Stephen: WHERE I EXPLORECONSPIRACY THEORIES AND POSE

THE HARD QUESTIONS LIKE INNINE YEARS WHY HAVE I ONLY

DONE THIS SEGMENT ONCEBEFORE?

(LAUGHTER)WHAT DO THEY NOT WANT YOU TO

KNOW?

AND IF I'M IN CHARGE OF MYSHOW, ARE THEY ME?

(LAUGHTER)NOW WE MAY KNOW THE FOOTWEAR

BUT WE'RE STILL TRYING TOFIGURE OUT THE FOOT-WHY.

RUSH?

>> I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYBODYWOULD BE THROWING A SHOE AT

HILLARY UNLESS, AND MAYBEIT'S AN ATTEMPT TO MAKE THE

BENGHAZI PEOPLE LOOK LIKENUTS AND LUNATICS AND WACKOS

EVEN IF IT HAD ANYTHING TODO WITH THAT WHICH I DON'T

KNOW.

>> Stephen: YES, YES.

YES.

(APPLAUSE)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: YES, IT'S ALLPART OF HILLARY'S PLAN TO

MAKE THE BENGHAZI PEOPLELOOK LIKE WACKOS IF IT

EVEN HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITHTHAT WHICH RUSH AND I DON'T

KNOW BECAUSE IF IT DIDN'TTHEN WE LOOK LIKE WACKOS FOR

BRINGING UP BENGHAZI NOW FORNO REASON.

OH, YOU'RE GOOD!

AND FOLKS, THERE AREOTHER--

(APPLAUSE)THERE ARE OTHER--

(LAUGHTER)SHE CLEARLY PLANNED IT.

NO, NO, WE'VE GOT TO GO.

FOLKS THERE ARE OTHER BRAVESHOE TRUTHERS OR SHUTHERS

LIKE HERMANN CAINE WHOTWEETED "HMM...FAKERY FROM THE

CLINTONS?" AND LINKED TOTO THE WEB SITE WHERE A

BLOGGER NOTED SHE DOESN'T PUTHER HANDS UP TO PROTECT

HERSELF AND DOESN'T DUCK OUTOF THE WAY UNTIL THE SHOE

ALREADY PASSED HER AND IFTHERE IS ONE THING CAIN KNOWS

IT'S WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONETHROWS A SHOE AT YOU.

>> OH SHUCKY DUCKY.

>> Stephen: YES, BUT HILLARY,HILLARY, HILLARY DID NOT

SHUCKY DUCK FAST ENOUGH.

AND ANYONE, ANYONE WHO HASTHROWN A SHOE AT A

66-YEAR-OLD WOMAN KNOWS THEYREACT WITH COBRA SPEED.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

HILLARY, HILLARY'SMOTIVATION-- I THINK YOU

MIGHT BE SEEING MORE OF THISPHOTO IN THE FUTURE.

YES, I'M A PSYCHIC.

HILLARY'S MOTIVATION FORSTAGING THIS SHOE-SPIRACY

ARE OBVIOUS AS A POST ON FOXNEWS'S BERNIE GOLDBERG'S

BLOG SUGGESTS, REMEMBERINGTHE BUSH INCIDENT, SHE MAY

HAVE CALCULATED THIS WOULDMAKE HER SEEM PRESIDENTIAL.

YES!

YES, SHE HAS STOLENPRESIDENT BUSH'S MOST

PRESIDENTIAL MOMENT, THEONLY WAY, ONLY WAY HILLARY

CLINTON COULD SEEM MORE LIKEA LEADER IS IF SHE CHOKED ON

A PRETZEL WHILE FALLING OFFA SEGWAY.

I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THINK ABOUT IT!

EITHER THIS INCIDENT WAS ONETINY MACHINATION IN THE VAST

MASTER PLAN METICULOUSLYORCHESTRATED BY THE CLINTONS

OR SOME CRAZY LADYTHREW A SHOE AT HER.

ASK YOURSELF THIS.

WHICH ONE OF THOSE TWOPOSSIBILITIES LETS ME TALK

ABOUT IT FOR SIX MINUTES?

(LAUGHTER)NOW CONTINUE TO THINK ABOUT

IT, HILLARY IS SO DEVIOUS ITIS POSSIBLE EVEN LOSING THE

2008 PRIMARY WAS PART OF HERSCHEME.

THAT WAY SHE DOESN'T BECOMEPRESIDENT IN 2008, SHE CAN'T

GET RE-ELECTED IN 2012,STEERING A PATH FOR A SHOE

TO BE THROWN AT HER THE VERYSAME WEEK WE LEARN CHELSEA

IS PREGNANT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I MEAN IT'S LIKE WE'RE

PLAYING CHECKERS AND SHE'SNOT SO WE'RE PLAYING HER

SIDE TOO AND SHE'S STILLBEATING US.

(LAUGHTER)WELL, THAT'S IT FOR THIS

EDITION OF STEPHEN COLBERT'S[BLEEP] SERIOUS UNLESS

YOU'RE LISTENING TO THIS FROMTHE IMPLANT IN YOUR FILLINGS,

IN WHICH CASE, I'LL BE WITH YOU ALL NIGHT LONG.WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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