Irish Potato Famine Pathogen

  • Aired:  05/21/13
  •  | Views: 33,709

Justice has finally been served for a cold-blooded killer who has been at large for over 150 years. (2:10)

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

>> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME TO

"THE REPORT," EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

[AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN"]

>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH,

FOLKS.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

FOLKS, I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING

GOOD.

SIT DOWN, EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING

GOOD, AND IF YOU'RE NOTTIC --

NOT, I'VE GOT SOME GOOD NEWS TO

REPORT, TONIGHT JUSTICE HAS BEEN

SERVED FOR A COLD-BLOODED KILLER

WHO HAS BEEN AT LARGE FOR OVER

150 YEARS.

OF COURSE, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE

PATHOGEN THAT CAUSED THE IRISH

POTATO FAMINE.

SCIENTISTS IN ENGLAND EXTRACTED

D.N.A. FROM 19th CENTURY

PLANT SAMPLES TO IDENTIFY THE

DISEASE AT LONG LAST, AND JUST

AS I SUSPECTEDDED, IT WAS THE

PHYTOPHTHORA NFESTANS HERB-1

STRAIN.

AND I BET ALL YOU ARMCHAIR

EPIDEMOLOGISTS WHO THOUGHT IT

WAS THE 1-B HAPLOTYPE FEEL LIKE

[BLEEPED] NOW.

NOW, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU

THAT P. INFESTANS HERE IS A

FUNGAL INFECTION, MEANING ALL

THE POTATOES IN IRELAND

BASICALLY HAD JOCK ITCH.

THE WHOLE THING COULD HAVE BEEN

AVOIDED WITH A SINGLE CAN OF

CRUEX.

INSTEAD IT WAS THE WORST PLAGUE

TO HIT THE IRISH SINCE WHATEVER

KEEPS DESTROYING MICHAEL

FLATLY'S SHIRTS.

[LAUGHTER]

IT WIPED OUT A MILLION OF MY

COUNTRYMEN, AND WORSE, IT FORCED

LUCKY CHARMS TO START PUTTING

MARSHMALLOWS IN ITS CEREAL

INSTEAD OF DELICIOUS POTATOES.

NOT TO MENTION, HAVING LOST ALL

THEIR POTATOES, THE IRISH HAD NO

WAY TO POWER THEIR CLOCKS.