Mitt Romney & Donald Trump in Michigan

  • Aired:  02/20/12
  •  | Views: 8,457

Mitt Romney attempts to connect to Michigan voters and brings out the biggest, tannest, most leathery gun of them all: Donald Trump. (6:53)

( THEME SONG PLAYING )

>> Stephen: THANK YOU,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

NATION F YOU READ THE NEWS

YOU KNOW THAT THE MICHIGAN

PRIMARY IS 1 WEEK FROM

TOMORROW AND ROMNEY CAMPAIGN

HAS MADE IT CLEAR THIS IS

DO-OR-DIE FOR MITT.

THE THING IS EVEN THOUGH

MICHIGAN IS HIS HOME STATE,

ROMNEY TRAILS RICK SANTORUM

BY FOUR POINTS IN THE LATEST

POLLS.

THAT HAS GOT TO BE A SHOCK

FOR MITT.

I MEAN THE WHOLE STATE IS

SHAPED LIKE A HIM.

(LAUGHTER)

UNFORTUNATELY, M ITT IS

BEING DOGGED BY HIS PAST.

>> THE AUTO BAILOUTS ARE

POPULAR IN THE STATE AND THE

STATE'S ECONOMY HAS BEEN

GROWING SINCE THE BAILOUTS

HAPPENED.

>> THIS PUTS GOVERNOR ROMNEY

IN AN AWKWARD POSITION

BECAUSE THREE AND A HALF

YEARS AGO HE WROTE AN

OPINION PIECE IN THE "NEW

YORK TIMES" TITLED LET

DETROIT GO BANKRUPT.

>> Stephen: THAT'S A

COMPLIMENT.

HAVE YOU SEEN DETROIT?

BANKRUPT MIGHT BE AN

IMPROVEMENT.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW SO TO SAVE HIMSELF

ROMNEY'S BRINGING OUT THE

BIG GUNS.

SPECIFICALLY THE BIGGEST,

TANNEST, MOST LEATHERY GUN

OF THEM ALL, BILLIONAIRE,

FORMER CANDIDATE AND CURRENT

CANDIEDIAM DONALD TRUMP.

AND I CAN ASSURE YOU--

(APPLAUSE)

DELICIOUS.

AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THIS

PHOTO HAS NOT BEEN DOCTORED

BECAUSE I WAS THERE WHEN IT

WAS TAKEN.

THAT'S NOT PHOTO SHOP.

THAT'S ACTUAL I'M IN FULL

MAKEUP AND THAT'S WHAT I

LOOK LIKE AND THAT'S WHAT HE

LOOKS LIKE.

WE MET WHEN TRUMP WAS A GUST

ON JIMMY FALLON'S SHOW THE

SAME NIGHT I WAS OVER THERE

LAST WEEK.

EVIDENTLY TO HONOR JIMMY'S

ACE CREAM, THE DONALD CAME

DISGUISED AS SALTED CARAMEL.

AND THE ROMNEY CAMPAIGN IS

MAKING FULL USE OF TRUMP

SENDING HIM ON RADIO

INTERVIEWS ACROSS THE STATE.

TRUMP IS GIVING ROMNEY A

CRITICAL BOOST OF

CREDIBILITY, SERIOUSNESS AND

CLASS.

THE ONLY PROBLEM, THERE IS

ONLY ONE DONALD TO GO AROUND.

NOW YOU MAY RECALL WHEN

TRUMP HAD TO CANCEL HIS

DEBATE I STEPPED UP WITH MY

OWN SERIOUS CLASSY SOUTH

CAROLINA REPUBLICAN DEBATE.

WENT OFF WITHOUT A HITCH.

ALSO, WITHOUT A DEBATE.

WE HAD ANIMAL PLANET NAT GEO

WILD ALL LINED UP BUT DURING

REHEARSAL GWEN IFILL WAS

EATEN BY A PUMA.

THE POINT IS IF TRUMP IS

ROMNEY'S SURROGATE, I HEARBY

VOLUNTEER TO BE ROMNEY'S

SURROGATE SURROGATE.

LET'S DO IT.

JIMMY, TRUMP ME.

(LAUGHTER)

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

LISTEN UP, MITT ROMNEY, I

LOVE THIS MAN.

NUMBER ONE BEST, CLASSIEST

MITT EVER.

BETTER THAN MITT JAGGER.

THE GREATEST PRESIDENTIAL

CANDIDATE OF OUR TIME OR OF

ANY TIME THIS WAS THE

RENAISSANCE HE'S LEONARDO,

HIS RUNNING MATE

MICHELANGELO BUT NO GAY

STUFF.

SPEAK OF WHICH, CELEBRITY

APPRENTICE, NEW SEASON, THE

BEST, YOU HAVE CHERYL TIEGS,

64, STILL PRIMO TAIL.

ARSENIO HALL, WOLF WOLF, LOU

FERRIGNO, ORIGINAL HULK, THE

GREENEST OF ALL HULKS.

A DEAD CIRCUS CHUMP, A PILE

OF LEGOS AND CLAY AIKIN.

VOICE OF AN ANGEL, ONCE IN A

GENERATION TALENT.

I'M GOING TO MAKE HIM SELL

HOGUIES IN A STRIP MALL.

ANYWAY, MICHIGAN, ROMNEY,

DONE.

AND FOLKS, SORRY, JIMMY, CAN

WE DETRUMP ME, PLEASE.

THANK YOU.

FOLKS, THIS CAMPAIGN NEEDS

ME AND DONALD.

BECAUSE IT IS NO SECRET THAT

MITT ROMNEY IS HAVING

TROUBLE CONNECTING WITH THE

AVERAGE AMERICAN.

EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE SO

MUCH IN COMMON.

FOR INSTANCE THEY BOTH FEEL

AWKWARD AROUND MITT ROMNEY.

IN RECENT PRIMARIES COLORADO,

MINNESOTA AND MISSOURI MITT

GOT HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM BY

RICK SANTORUM WHICH IS

ESPECIALLY IMPRESSIVE

BECAUSE THE ASS IS A BODY

PART NEITHER OF THEM WILL

ADMIT EXISTS.

NOW FORTUNATELY MICHIGAN IS

GOING TO BE DIFFERENT.

MITT WAS BORN THERE HE KNOWS

HOW TO APPEAL TO MICHIGAN

VOTERS.

>> A LITTLE HISTORY.

I WAS BORN AND RAISED HERE.

I LOVE THIS STATE.

IT SEEMS RIGHT HERE.

TREES ARE THE RIGHT HEIGHTS.

I LIKE-- I LIKE SEEING-- I

LIKE SEEING THE LAKES.

I LOVE THE LAKE, JUST

SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL HERE,

THE GREAT LAKES BUT ALSO ALL

THE LITTLE INLAND LAKES THAT

DOT THE PARTS OF MICHIGAN.

I LOVE CARS.

>> Stephen: THOSE ARE TRUE

HUMAN FEELINGS.

EXPRESSED BY A MAN WHO IS

DEFINITELY NOT JUST LISTING

THINGS CAN SEE OUT THE

WINDOW.

AND ROMNEY'S LOVE OF CARS IS

GENUINE AND DEEP.

>> I GREW UP TOTALLY IN LOVE

WITH CARS.

USED TO BE IN THE 50sEE AND

60s IF YOU SHOWED ME ONE

SCARE FOOT OF ALMOST ANY

PART OF A CAR I COULD TELL

YOU WHAT BRAND, THE MODEL

AND SO FORTH.

>> YES, YOU SHOW THAT MAN

ONE SQUARE FOOT OF ANY CAR

AND HE CAN IDENTIFY IT, THEN

STRAP A TERRIFIED DOG TO IT.

I HAVE NEVER--

(APPLAUSE)

HEY, BUDDY, HEY, LITTLE

BUDDY.

I HAVE NEVER HEARD ROMNEY

CONNECT SO VISCERALLY WITH

HIS FELLOW AMERICANS.

MITT WAS POSITIVELY POETIC

TALKING ABOUT MICHIGAN'S

POETIC WONDERS, PLAY THAT

AGAIN.

>> I LIKE SEEING THE LAKES,

I LOVE THE LAKES THERE IS

SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL MERE

HERE, THE GREAT LAKES BUT

ALSO ALL THE LITTLE INLAND

LAKES THAT DOT THE PARTS OF

MICHIGAN.

>> Stephen: YES, EVERYONE

KNOWS ABOUT THE GREAT LAKES

BUT ONLY A LOCAL BOY TRULY

APPRECIATES MICHIGAN'S

MAJESTIC, THE PART.

WE'VE ALL SEEN THE LICENCE

PLATE, MICHIGAN, THE PART

STATE.

AND FOLKS, YOU WILL NOTICE

THAT MITT ROMNEY ADDRESSED

THE MOST IMPORTANT TOPIC TO

MICHIGAN'S UNEMPLOYED, TREE

HEIGHTS.

JIM.

>> I LOVE THIS STATE.

IT SEEMS RIGHT HERE.

TREES ARE THE RIGHT HEIGHTS.

>> Stephen: YES, MICHIGAN IS

VERY PROUD OF THEIR TREE

HEIGHT.

I MEAN LOOK AT THAT MAP EL,

TOTALLY, TOTALLY NAILED IT

HEIGHT WISE.

SHORT ENOUGH TO PUT A TREE

HOUSE IN, YET TALL HUFF

ENOUGH TO HANG YOURSELF WHEN

YOU LOSE YOUR HOME

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