The Fiscal Cliff Compromise

  • Aired:  11/27/12
  •  | Views: 52,657

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the wealthy just because he ran and won on that promise, and Republicans might let him do it. (4:23)

INTO A 45 MINUTE HIGH HAT SOLO.

(LAUGHTER) NOW, FOLKS, IT IS THE CHRISTMAS SEASON AND THE FACT THAT CANADA DOESN'T GET ONE BRINGS US ALL JOY.

(LAUGHTER) BUT LET'S NOT FORGET THAT THERE'S ALWAYS SOMETHING OUT THERE TO SCARE US.

FOR INSTANCE, WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES 12 ON NEW YEAR'S EVE YOU CAN KISS YOUR DATE AND YOU CAN

KISS OUR ECONOMY GOOD-BYE.

BECAUSE WE WILL ALL BE GOING OVER --

>> THAT FISCAL CLIFF.

>> FISCAL CLIFF.

>> FISCAL CLIFF.

>> THAT DREADED FISCAL CLIFF.

>> Stephen: YES, THE DREADED FISCAL CLIFF.

AN UNAVOIDABLE MONEY WILL TECHNOLOGY THE RAZOR-SHARP FINANCIAL ROCKS BELOW.

IT ALL STARTED BACK IN 2011 DURING THE SHOWDOWN OVER RAISING OUR DEBT CEILING WHEN

REPUBLICANS WANTED SPENDING CUTS AND OBAMA WANTED TO RAISE TAXES.

WHICH LED TO A BUDGET CRISIS THAT CONGRESS SOLVED BY NOT SOLVING IT.

(LAUGHTER) INSTEAD, THEY HANDED IT OVER TO SOMETHING CALLED "THE SUPERCONGRESS" WHICH COULDN'T

FAIL BECAUSE IT WAS SUPER.

(LAUGHTER) UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS ALSO CONGRESS SO IT FAILED.

(LAUGHTER) AND AS A RESULT -- (APPLAUSE) AS A RESULT -- (APPLAUSE) AS A RESULT, FOLKS, WE ARE

FACING ANOTHER THING CALLED SEQUESTRATION WHICH AT FIRST SOUNDS LIKE RATIONING THE AMOUNT

YOU CAN WATCH "SEA QUEST." (LAUGHTER) BUT IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THAT.

(LAUGHTER) SEQUESTRATION IS AUTOMATIC SPENDING CUTS THAT BOTH SIDES AGREE WOULD TRIGGER A NEW RECESSION.

IT'S LIKE CONGRESS PUT A GUN TO THE ECONOMY'S HEAD AND SWORE IT WILL PULL THE TRIGER IF CONGRESS

DOESN'T PUT ITS OWN GUN DOWN.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S KIND OF LIKE A MEXICAN STANDOFF WITHOUT ANY MEXICANS.

(LAUGHTER) OF COURSE, OBAMA'S ANSWER TO THIS BUDGET CRISIS IS TO RAISE TAXES ON THE WEALTHY JUST

BECAUSE HE RAN ON THAT PROMISE.

AND WON THE ELECTION.

(LAUGHTER) IT'S LIKE HE'S TOTALLY DISREGARDING MY DISMISSIVE FINGER QUOTES.

WHAT PART OF THIS DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND PRESIDENT "O" BAMA.

(LAUGHTER) HERE'S WHAT'S REALLY SCARING ME, FOLKS.

REPUBLICANS MIGHT LET HIM DO IT, EVEN THOUGH EVERY REMEMBER IN CONGRESS HAS SIGNED THE NEW

TAXES PLEDGE CREATED BY THE PRESIDENT OF AMERICANS FOR TAX REFORM, GROVER NORQUIST.

(THUNDER CLASHES) THE TWO MOST TERRIFYING WORDS A REPUBLICAN CAN HEAR OTHER THAN

"BUENOS DIAS." (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) BUT NOW SOME REPUBLICANS ARE ABANDONING THE ANTI-TAX PLEDGE

AS FAST AS THEY ABANDONED -- OH, WHAT'S HIS NAME?

(LAUGHTER) I GOT IT, DON'T HELP ME, DON'T HELP ME.

RIP FLAMBE.

(LAUGHTER) NO, NO, THAT'S MY PERSONAL TRAIN TRAINER.

(LAUGHTER) NO, THE POINT IS CONSERVATIVES ARE JUMPING SHIP.

>> I WANT TO BUY DOWN DEBT AND CUT RATES THAT CREATE JOBS BUT I WILL VIOLATE THE PLEDGE, LONG

STORY SHORT, FOR THE GOOD OF THE COUNTRY.

>> I'M NOT OBLIGATED ON THE PLEDGE.

THE ONLY THING I'M HONORING IS THE OATH THAT I TAKE WHEN I SERVE -- WHEN I'M SWORN IN THIS JANUARY.

>> A PLEDGE YOU SIGNED 20 YEARS AGO, 18 YEARS AGO IS FOR THAT CONGRESS.

FOR INSTANCE, IF I WAS IN CONGRESS IN 1941 I WOULD HAVE SIGNED THE -- SUPPORTED A

DECLARATION OF WAR AGAINST JAPAN.

I'M NOT GOING TO ATTACK JAPAN TODAY.

THE WORLD HAS CHANGED.

>> Stephen: YOU HEARD IT, FOLKS.

CONGRESSMAN PETER KING IS NOT ONLY RAISING YOUR TAXES, HE'S SURRENDERING THEOJO AND HIS BOYS.

(LAUGHTER) NOT ME!

I WILL NEVER GIVE UP THE TIGHT AGAINST EMPEROR HIROHITO AND HIS KAMIKAZE BEAST MEN.

BESIDES, THAT'S A LOT OF TOUGH TALK FROM A KNOWN LESBIAN.

(LAUGHTER) GROVER AND I KNOW THAT THE PLEDGE LASTS A LOT LONGER THAN TWO YEARS.

>> CONGRESSMAN PETER KING OF NEW YORK KNOWS FULL WELL THAT THE PLEDGE THAT HE SIGNED AND OTHERS

HAVE IS FOR WHY YOU'RE IN CONGRESS.

IT'S NOT FAR TWO-YEAR PERIOD.

>> Stephen: YES, AN ANTI-TAX PLEDGE IS ETERNAL AND UNBREAKABLE.

IT'S LIKE A PACT WITH THE DEVIL OR A GYM MEMBERSHIP.

YOU'LL GET YOUR MONEY, RIP FLAMBE!

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